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Welcome to the latest edition of the NeoGAF official thread for GIANT BOMB DOT COM! The ninth edition, somehow! We're still here! Mostly!
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Thread #8
E3 2014 Thread
Giant Bomb is a website about video games. Once described by the site's Editor-In-Chief as "insightful but funny video game coverage", GB is that and so much more, covering all angles of the video game industry and community - whether you're looking for considered, intelligent discussion about the nature of games development, or just a bunch of guys sat on a sofa making fun of a ridiculous simulator from the depths of Steam Early access, there's something for you here.
Giant Bomb is well into its seventh year of existence and counting. Since its humble beginnings in a Sausalito basement, with just 4 duders and a surprisingly resourceful "t-shirt guy", the site has blown up in a big way, now taking over the entirety of the United States (by which I mean San Francisco, New York City and Chicago). The sky's the limit when it comes to the insanity at Giant Bomb.
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THE GIANT BOMB DORKS (rated in their prowess in Dan Ryckert's fields of expertise)
DAN "The Learner" RYCKERT
Wrestling Knowledge: 10/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 10/10
Feuding Ability: 10/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 10/10
The leading mind in being Dan Ryckert, it's Dan Ryckert. Born in the middle of a frozen hut in a field in the exact centre of America, Dan made a living betting for meat in order to fund his lavish 24-hour Mario Party sessions. He eventually hit the jackpot selling accounts of his bizarre alligator fetish online, allowing him to take the Ryckert experience to the Bay area. Keep your kids indoors: he's been known to partake in Waluigi-related activities.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: 10/10
JEFF "Bloody Rippa" GERSTMANN
Wrestling Knowledge: 9/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 5/10
Feuding Ability: 7/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 7/10
The man who many claim to be indistinguishable from Dan. The compendium-esque knowledge of wrestling, the questionable eating habits, the on-again off-again flirtations with facial hair... it all matched! Despite this, Jeff has simply been around the block one too many times to truly be Dan's double - oh, and he won't swallow your fucking bullshit Mario Party bullshit. Never take a cruise with this asshole, unless you want to sleep with the fishes.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: 7/10
BRAD "The Host With The Most
Horrifying E-Mails
Wrestling Knowledge: 0/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 0/10
Feuding Ability: 10/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 0/10
Dan's new mortal enemy. A vicious traitor who'd gut his own mother in the night for a Star, he's been encouraging the pure-minded Giant Bomb fans to send him disgusting, perverse tales, which he reads aloud for his own sick pleasure. Also plays Dota. Literally the worst human being.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: 0/10
DREW "The Master" SCANLON
Wrestling Knowledge: 0/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 8/10
Feuding Ability: 0/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 0/10
Whilst the stats point to a man simply too opposed to the Ryckert way of life to compatible with the world as seen through Dan-Cam, the truth is more surprising. What Dan has never done, Drew almost has. What Dan has experienced and become enamoured with, Drew is oblivious too. If Dan is Paula Abdul, Drew is his skeezy anthropomorphic feline acquaintance. Together, they're a force to be reckoned with, capable of venturing through spaceships and haunted houses of extremely questionable design. Drew's no Dan, but in this case that's a good thing.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: 8/10
ALEX "The Wolf" NAVARRO
Wrestling Knowledge: 9/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 8/10
Feuding Ability: 4/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 2/10
With Giant Bomb East over in New York noticeably lacking that classic Dan Ryckert touch, it's up to Alex Navarro to plug the gaps, with his equally unwavering commitment to actually paying attention to wrestling for some reason. However, Alex has recently been linked to a notorious animated pornography ring, as well as some suspicious drug-related activity on a Caribbean cruise ship, keeping him from attaining the innocent Ryckert veneer. Best just tase everyone and steal the evidence.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: 7/10
VINAGAWA "TV Guide" MCCARAVELLABURGITO
Wrestling Knowledge: 3/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 5/10
Feuding Ability: 0/10 (10/10 if you're a contractor)
Degenerate Internet Troll: 0/10
Vinny Caravella escaped to the East Coast with his wife and child, all set for an exciting career of bike riding, hostage-torturing and robot-busting. However, he soon became trapped in the cut-throat world of robot espionage, turning his life from a bright future to a grim present. As he orders the robots to do his bidding, and they shirk off command after command, Vinny's fragile sanity can not be long for this world. Truly, he's a man on the edge.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: Did you mean ?
PATRICK "Guitar Freak" KLEPEK
Wrestling Knowledge: 0/10
Nintendo Multiplayer Skill: 8/10
Feuding Ability: 0/10
Degenerate Internet Troll: 0/10
According to ancient scripture, the great Patrick Klepek was ushered into this realm in a birth of brimstone, and fire, and screams, and power chords. Rhythm courses through his bloodstream; he chose the life of a cryer, bringing word to afar from the people of Chicago, but his life as the world's most powerful bard was already chosen for him. As he begins to once more embrace his past life as a rock-and-roll giant, the world may never be the same for it.
He's just too fucking metal for Dan.
DAN RYCKERT RATING: GOOD!/10
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Current Programming
As well as the Quick Looks that Giant Bomb both East and West do for newly released games, and the Giant Bombcast every Tuesday, there's a number of episodic features hosted on the site. Note that some content is only available for premium subscribers. It's $50 for a yearly sub, and that gets you a $15 voucher for the Giant Bomb merch store.
Unprofessional Fridays (Premium)
The Giant Bomb West gang get together for a couple of hours of whatever the hell they feel like playing. Retro games, multiplayer games, browser games, mobile games, literally anything goes. A lot of the best Giant Bomb moment surface in this show, it's honestly worth at least a monthly sub to view UPF. Sometimes this show is preceded by a livestream from Giant Bomb East to boot.
Bombin' The A.M. With Scoops and the Wolf
Patrick and Alex get their Skype on, both Monday and Friday, for some discussion on the week's events and their recent activities, occasionally joined by special guests. It's available as both a podcast and a video.
Worth Reading/Worth Playing
Patrick's wrap-up write-up for the week in games, accompanied by a video of some smaller titles, demos and experiments you may have missed. It's essentially a link-dump by Scoops' own admission, but he finds some good stuff.
Spookin' With Scoops (Premium)
Patrick Klepek delves into the world of horror gaming on this late-night frightfest. It's more of a mix between supernatural themed titles and outright spine-chillers, but it's definitely worth a watch, just in case Scoops encounters another Blair Witch Project: The Game.
Demo Derby (Premium)
Dan and Drew dust off some old demo discs, so far for the good old PlayStation, and enjoy the hidden treasures within. Honestly, this is a great idea for a feature; it's only one episode in and I'm dying to see more.
30 Day Trial (Premium)
MMORPG novice Dan Ryckert enters the World of Warcraft for the first time ever. Join him, his noble warrior "CerebralAss" and guests as they venture blindly across Azeroth.
Jar Time with Jeff (Premium)
Reader mail question and answer session with Jeff Gerstmann. Usually he gets fairly deep on a number of topics, both recent and general, and it's worth a watch if you wanna hear Jeff drop some truth bombs (assuming they're not about Yoshi).
1001 Spikes, 1001 Deaths, 1001 Patricks
Scoops plays the balls-hard throwback platformer 1001 spikes on stream for y'all.
Dota stuff with Brad (usually Premium)
Some Lords Management crap, I guess. Moving on!
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Contact The Dorks:
Brad: @bradshoemaker, Tumblr: From the Desk of Brad Shoemaker, NeoGAF: rudds
Jeff: @jeffgerstmann, Tumblr: Jeff Gerstmann Is Still A Threat, NeoGAF: MonsterDunk
Patrick: @patrickklepek, Tumblr: Patrick Klepek Will Now Take Your Calls, NeoGAF: Patrick Klepek
Vinny: @VinnyCaravella, Tumblr: My friends call me Vinny, NeoGAF: bionicpuppy
Drew: @drewscanlon
Alex: @alex_navarro, Tumblr: SPEAK TO ME, DUDERS
Matt Rorie: @frailgesture, Tumblr: Properly Petting Puppies
Dan: @DanRyckert, NeoGAF: DanRyckert
Jason: @unastrike
Fixing Audio Sync
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Hope you like the thread! Thanks to Keyser Soze for the title, graboids for the below image and Giant Bomb for being the best site on the internet.
