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Worst place you have urgently needed to shit?

StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Nothing crazy. But being stuck in traffic and needing to go badly.

I couldnt help but shit on a seat at my old place.

I had to go bad and through sheer gut power thought I could make it back to my old condo to shit. It was a 20 minute drive and just had dinner with a coworker.

The turds were so powerful, I made it back to my building but couldnt wait the extra 3 minutes to park underground and go up to my suite. So I parked out front and ran into the bathroom in the party room which I'd never used before.

When I got into the front door I could tell I had time as my gut felt relieved a touch, but when I got inside the party room, there was a fucking party going on with tons of people sitting at tables. They surely thought wtf is this guy randomly walk in?

That must had spooked my intestines or made me not clench my ass because as I made my way to the bathroom I got a huge surge to go again. And since I never had been in there, it took me a few seconds to find the light switch as the room was pitch black in the corner of the party room. So by the time I turned it on, my shit was literally squeezing out, so as soon as I took my pants off I splattered all over the seat as I didnt even have enough time to sit on it.

It was a messy one too. I was in there cleaning and used up tons of paper towels. :D
 
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Putonahappyface

Putonahappyface

Member
I used to eat a lot of avocados on a daily basis until my body rebelled on me one time and I've never eaten any since that horrendously embarrassing day. I did my usual two and a half hours of exercise and then eat an avocado to replenish myself before me and my girlfriend headed out to do the weekly food shop.

As soon as we left the gym my stomach started to cramp up and I came over all hot and cold, and I knew exactly what was coming but I unwisely gambled! We pulled up to the supermarket and my stomach was now on autopilot and was gently releasing mouse size farts, so I quickly explained to my girlfriend the situation and said to her I'd drive home and then come back once I'd used the toilet at home (I hate using public toilets with a passion). Bare in mind that I had two opportunities to relieve myself before my accident!

It takes roughly forty five minutes to get back to my house so I'm obviously panicking but trying not to speed. There is roughly seven sets of traffic lights, dual carriageways and roundabouts between the supermarket and my house, and every set of traffic lights I come
up to turns red as soon I reach the bastards.

I'm about half way home and I can't fight my bowel moments any longer. I'm almost stood up and rounding my back on the roof of the car, with my buttocks squeezing back the tides of shit like Moses parting the red sea but this wasn't biblical this was reality. Other drivers either side of me are now looking at me with wtf facial expressions and I'm sweating heavy now.

I get to the last set of traffic lights and its three minutes until I get home, but its to late. My buttocks could no longer hold back the thick never ending slurry of Satan's broth. Slowly my jogging bottoms were filling up and I could now feel it running down my legs. When I pulled up to my house I ironically no longer needed the toilet. When I calmly and stealthily got out of the car I managed to keep everything in my jogging bottoms without getting anything on the seat of the car or the patio leading up to my front door. It was such a relief to climb into the shower. The smell was like something from a farm.

Similar to how I looked getting from the car to the front door.

h1qBHGrb.gif
 
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Banjo64

Banjo64

cumsessed
Always grotty pubs in Manchester - I’ll be 6 pints in and feel the rumble and gurgle of an incoming brown shower. Stumble in to the dingy bog, oh lovely, it’s a single cubicle with a busted lock and piss all over the floor and toilet seat. When you gotta go you gotta go though. I feel sorry for the blokes at the urinal as I blow out my chocolate starfish next to them.
 
Last edited:
M

Martinski43

Member
Putonahappyface said:
I used to eat a lot of avocados on a daily basis until my body rebelled on me one time and I've never eaten any since that horrendously embarrassing day. I did my usual two and a half hours of exercise and then eat an avocado to replenish myself before me and my girlfriend headed out to do the weekly food shop.

As soon as we left the gym my stomach started to cramp up and I came over all hot and cold, and I knew exactly what was coming but I unwisely gambled! We pulled up to the supermarket and my stomach was now on autopilot and was gently releasing mouse size farts, so I quickly explained to my girlfriend the situation and said to her I'd drive home and then come back once I'd used the toilet at home (I hate using public toilets with a passion). Bare in mind that I had two opportunities to relieve myself before my accident!

It takes roughly forty five minutes to get back to my house so I'm obviously panicking but trying not to speed. There is roughly seven sets of traffic lights, dual carriageways and roundabouts between the supermarket and my house and every set of traffic lights hits a red as soon I reach the bastards.

I'm about half way home and I can't fight my bowel moments any longer. I'm almost stood up in rounding my back on the roof of the car, with my buttocks squeezing back the tides of shit like Moses parting the red sea but this wasn't biblical this was reality. Other drivers either side are looking at me with wtf facial expressions and I'm sweating heavy now.

I get to the last set of traffic lights and its three minutes until I get home, but its to late. My buttocks could no longer hold back the thick never ending slurry of Satan's broth. Slowly my jogging bottoms were filling up and I could now feel it running down my legs. When I pulled up to my house I no longer needed the toilet. When I calmly and stealthily got out of the car I managed to keep everything in my jogging bottoms without getting anything on the seat of the car or the patio leading up to my front door. It was such a relief to climb into the shower the smell was like something horrendous from a farm.

Similar to how I looked getting from the car to the front door.

h1qBHGrb.gif
Click to expand...

Im impressed that you were able to keep it in your pants without anything leaking into your car or such 😅
 
Rockondevil

Rockondevil

Member
I run a lot, so definitely had it many times while I'm too far from home. These days i try to plan a route with emergency stop areas if I need it.
 
Insane Metal

Insane Metal

Member
I was in the woods once with my friend, his sister and his father. We visited this place regularly back then. At some point I felt this urge to take a shit. I said "excuse me guys, gotta do something" and obviously they knew what was going on. I went and chose a place outside of the path we were going, obviously. It was a very very closed environment and I didn't have much room to choose where to shit.

Well we went on and later it started raining and my friend's dad said we should take a shortcut to get back to the entrance faster. Doing that we passed exactly where I took the shit and there it was, standing right in our way. This was a few hours later and the piece of shit was black and everyone just looked at it and laughed their asses off.
 
B

Bogeyman

Banned
I was on my way to work. Shortly after boarding my train for the 40 minute journey to work , I noticed my stomach churning bad.

I wasn't too worried at that point. That kind of thing happened to me relatively often. Usually, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears, I could just about manage the situation until reaching work.

But fifteen minutes into the trip, I noticed this wasn't just a drill. I was in the middle of a full blown emergency situation. Picture eating a basket full of chilies, and chugging it down with a bucket full of coffee. I was getting close to a meltdown compared to which the century long nuclear aftermath of chernobyl would've seemed like a minor incident.

Next train stop coming up. Its now or never. I'm getting off the train. Not a clue where i was. Some idyllic small town - or at least, idyllic up to that point. Oh the sweet, innocent townsfolk. Little did they know the ten biblical plagues of Egypt were just about to descend upon them.

No public restroom in sight. No restaurants either. Any remaining hope vanished in an instant, as did my last traces of self respect.
I'm heading down the quietest side road I saw. I'm experiencing what I to this day maintain childbirth must feel like. Recurring cramps, in alarmingly accelerating frequency.

What nice gardens these townspeople have. Lovingly cared for by their owners. Grass trimmed to perfection, bushes cut to higher precision than my own beard. Beautiful trees. Lush trees. Beautiful, lush trees covering the line of sight towards the train tracks on the one side, and their owner's houses on the other side.

Dear lord, dear divine power who summed forces of evil into this holy land today. Give me strength to resist this temptation.
But alas, my prayers go unanswered. There is only one way out now. Ow, those beautiful gardens!

I walk away in shame. Wondering whether those beautiful trees really did provide cover. Lamenting the poor soul that owned said garden, who at some point throughout the day was likely going to make a discovery that no man should ever have to make. Hoping the one lone, single tissue in my pocket provided a good enough job so once I got back into the train, nobody would notice what drama had just unfolded.

If you're still out there, dear garden owner. I apologise. But I'd do it again.
 
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Billbofet

Billbofet

Member
A few years back the family and I were going up north to visit my wife's side of the family. We make this trip multiple times each year, and we always would stop half-way at a gas station that also has a Dunkin' Donuts.
On this trip, I felt the percolation in my gut start about twenty miles from getting there, and it was a huge effort to hold it in. When we got there, my wife took the kids to get donuts, coffee, etc. and I made an emergency b-line to the toilet.
This gas station, even though it is one of the busiest in the Wisconsin Dells, only has one stall in the men's bathroom for shitting - and it was occupied. I didn't panic too much at this point, but with each minute that passed that I waited, the bubbling heat in my gut grew and grew.
I started to think I should go somewhere else, but the wife and kids probably had their donuts at this point and I didn't want to ditch them there, so I continued to wait. I swear at one point, the guy was humming or singing, really taking his time.

After about ten minutes of prairie doggin', I knocked on the stall and asked if he was about done. There was no response, but I could hear movement and I swear humming/singing. At this point, I was working out in my head what the total damage was going to be if I shit my pants. I had a change of clothes in the car, so I was considering that as well as shitting in the women's restroom, but I didn't want to get arrested. I was about to lose my mind and even had the thought to just shit in the sink - again, probably an arrestable offense.

I finally hear a belt buckle buckling, a zipper going up and the door finally opens. This dude looks at me with a smirk on his face, casually puts his Dunkin' Donuts hat back on, and tips his hat to me as he walks past. What he left behind was a crime scene. There was shit on the toilet, on top of the toilet, on the ground with shoeprints in it, on the actual toilet paper roller, walls, EVERYWHERE. At this point, I stood there in shock and half forgot how much I had to shit myself. There was no way I could shit here even if I hovered, I would be standing in his shits, so after almost puking in the sink, I left and ran to get my family. As I came up on my family, my wife looked concerned as I had been gone so long, and she was kind enough to not start eating without me. I was about to tell her everything when I noticed the Mad Shitter was behind the counter looking at me, again with the smirk. I grabbed the bag of donuts, threw it in the trash, rustled my family out of there and told my wife to get in the car "I'll explain later!!!!" I then ran across the parking lot and took a shit at Taco Bell. Ultimately, my shit was pretty average compared to the absolute war crime, Jackson Pollock-style nightmare I had experienced at DD.
 
M

Martinski43

Member
Billbofet said:
A few years back the family and I were going up north to visit my wife's side of the family. We make this trip multiple times each year, and we always would stop half-way at a gas station that also has a Dunkin' Donuts.
On this trip, I felt the percolation in my gut start about twenty miles from getting there, and it was a huge effort to hold it in. When we got there, my wife took the kids to get donuts, coffee, etc. and I made an emergency b-line to the toilet.
This gas station, even though it is one of the busiest in the Wisconsin Dells, only has one stall in the men's bathroom for shitting - and it was occupied. I didn't panic too much at this point, but with each minute that passed that I waited, the bubbling heat in my gut grew and grew.
I started to think I should go somewhere else, but the wife and kids probably had their donuts at this point and I didn't want to ditch them there, so I continued to wait. I swear at one point, the guy was humming or singing, really taking his time.

After about ten minutes of prairie doggin', I knocked on the stall and asked if he was about done. There was no response, but I could hear movement and I swear humming/singing. At this point, I was working out in my head what the total damage was going to be if I shit my pants. I had a change of clothes in the car, so I was considering that as well as shitting in the women's restroom, but I didn't want to get arrested. I was about to lose my mind and even had the thought to just shit in the sink - again, probably an arrestable offense.

I finally hear a belt buckle buckling, a zipper going up and the door finally opens. This dude looks at me with a smirk on his face, casually puts his Dunkin' Donuts hat back on, and tips his hat to me as he walks past. What he left behind was a crime scene. There was shit on the toilet, on top of the toilet, on the ground with shoeprints in it, on the actual toilet paper roller, walls, EVERYWHERE. At this point, I stood there in shock and half forgot how much I had to shit myself. There was no way I could shit here even if I hovered, I would be standing in his shits, so after almost puking in the sink, I left and ran to get my family. As I came up on my family, my wife looked concerned as I had been gone so long, and she was kind enough to not start eating without me. I was about to tell her everything when I noticed the Mad Shitter was behind the counter looking at me, again with the smirk. I grabbed the bag of donuts, threw it in the trash, rustled my family out of there and told my wife to get in the car "I'll explain later!!!!" I then ran across the parking lot and took a shit at Taco Bell. Ultimately, my shit was pretty average compared to the absolute war crime, Jackson Pollock-style nightmare I had experienced at DD.
Click to expand...

You should've called the police to arrest this man, they even had hard evidence.
 
dr_octagon

dr_octagon

Banned
IDKFA said:
About ten years ago I just got made redundant, so to take a break from job hunting, I decided to take a long hike around the hills and country fields near my area.

I was walking through a farmer's field and urgently needed to shit. I saw a tree with a small bush close by and ran for it to drop my load. This wasn't a normal shit. This was a huge, light brown runny shit. The smell was so bad that it made me gag and I was sure it would kill tree and all life that was in close proximity.

I didn't have toilet paper, so had to wipe my ass with a newspaper that was in my backpack, which was a terrible idea as I ended up with newspaper ink and shit all over my ass, not to mention that I had to just throw the shitty paper on the ground. As I was wiping my shitty ass with a copy of the Telegraph, a man appeared in the filed, saw me wiping my ass and sprinted towards me. In a panic, I quickly pulled up my jeans and ran for it.

As I was running, I heard the man stop near the tree where I had polluted the earth with my foul toxins and screamed "you fucking dirty cunt!!!!!", but I didn't stop to look back. I just kept running until I was in the clear.
Click to expand...


The newspaper being named just adds to the comedy.
 
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poppabk

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
While puking in the toilet. At least it was just me alone in my apartment.
 
Billbofet

Billbofet

Member
I had food poisoning so bad about 15 years ago that I was nearly delirious. I was shitting or puking almost every hour and at one point I was so weak I know I wasn't going to make it, so I just let it all go.
It was actually pretty relaxing once I made the decision to just shit my pants/bed. Being so weak, it was a good ten/fifteen minutes before I made it to the bathroom and cleaned it all up.
Having the chills from food poisoning, another benefit was that it kept me good and warm while I got my strength back.

Don't tell my wife.
 
C

Cattlyst

Member
Out for a run. Hit the 15 mile mark and couldn’t hold it. Ducked into a field and shat my insides out and felt relief like never before
 
Mistake

Mistake

Member
I once took a train down to guangzhou in china. As I got up to leave with tons of people forming a line, I felt a sudden twist in my gut, and knew I had to find a bathroom quick. Now these train stations are long and wide, so I bolted like mad once I got out. A couple people directed me outside, and then one person told me it was down an elevator. After following three signs through some doorways I found it. Now this elevator looked really old. I pushed the button and the doors slowly shook open. I didn’t trust it one bit, but at this point I’m getting desperate.

I slowly descended five floors, arrived, and the doors opened to the most dank hall I’ve seen in my life. So I keep following the signs… “Goddamn I’m in the pits of asian hell!” I yelled. But then I found the bathroom. I wasn’t prepared. Think Fallout except worse. The light was flickering. A stall door was off a hinge, barely hanging on. One shattered floor toilet leaked across the room into a drain, and by the wall was a trough for pissing in. My life flashed before my eyes. Will I get murdered? They film SAW down here? So I did what any astounded, scared, confused guy in a foreign land would do. I shit on the floor and got the heck out of there.
 
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S

Star-Lord

Member
Not a bad shit, but definitely a bad bathroom experience. I’d gone on a night out in Dublin and kipped outside the train station so I could catch the first train home. When the station finally opened, I headed straight to the toilets. I had to pay to get in, and when I did it was very dimly lit. Like I could just about make my hand out in front of my face. I stumble to the stall, get in, close the door, and immediately feel something squishy. As I’m still half-cut, I ignore it and continue to pee. The pee hits the water way too soon. Feeling a bit sus, I turn my phones flashlight on and immediately regret it.

The water is to the top of the bowl. In the bowl is a mixture of brown water, shit, piss, and what looks like blood. I angle my phone down to my feet and, yep, I’ve stood in shit. My trainer is coated in it. I proceed to throw up, adding to the piss/shit/blood mix, exit the bathroom, bin my shoes, and head home shoeless. I never went back to Dublin.
 
nush

nush

Member
MrFancypants said:
Not a bad shit, but definitely a bad bathroom experience. I’d gone on a night out in Dublin and kipped outside the train station so I could catch the first train home. When the station finally opened, I headed straight to the toilets. I had to pay to get in, and when I did it was very dimly lit. Like I could just about make my hand out in front of my face. I stumble to the stall, get in, close the door, and immediately feel something squishy. As I’m still half-cut, I ignore it and continue to pee. The pee hits the water way too soon. Feeling a bit sus, I turn my phones flashlight on and immediately regret it.

The water is to the top of the bowl. In the bowl is a mixture of brown water, shit, piss, and what looks like blood. I angle my phone down to my feet and, yep, I’ve stood in shit. My trainer is coated in it. I proceed to throw up, adding to the piss/shit/blood mix, exit the bathroom, bin my shoes, and head home shoeless. I never went back to Dublin.
Click to expand...

Even his pants were not so fancy after that.
 
Yoboman

Yoboman

Member
nush said:
My ex wife would camp out in the bathroom for ages on her phone every time she went. As there was only one toilet in out house you can imagine the amount of times I had to bang on the door to get her to hurry up. Eventually she learned to let me know if she was going.

I'm going to the toilet now. Do you want to go first?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.

One time not ten minutes later I got the gut cramps and really needed to go badly. She had just asked and not wanting to have a big blow up (Because she was mental) I needed a solution to maintain the "Domestic bliss". It was during the daytime and the back of my house was overlooked by other houses, so dropping one in the garden was not an option.

So there I am grown ass man squatting down in my kitchen squirting foul liquid shit into a supermarket carrier bag, at least there were kitchen paper towels there for clean-up duties. I then dumped that bio hazard bag behind the shed. Now my kitchen smells like someone took a really nasty shit in it for some inexplicable reason. Fabreeze wasn't going to come to the rescue on this one.

So I made some toast and burnt it, I burnt it multiple times until it resembled Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Wife comes out the bathroom 30 minutes later.

What's that smell?

*Me sweating, can she smell shit still or burnt toast?* I burnt some toast.

Fucking idiot she goes, now the whole kitchen smells of burnt toast.

The perfect crime...
Click to expand...
Yeah she's the mental one, not the guy shitting in a bag while making toast lmao
 
Billbofet

Billbofet

Member
MrFancypants said:
Not a bad shit, but definitely a bad bathroom experience. I’d gone on a night out in Dublin and kipped outside the train station so I could catch the first train home. When the station finally opened, I headed straight to the toilets. I had to pay to get in, and when I did it was very dimly lit. Like I could just about make my hand out in front of my face. I stumble to the stall, get in, close the door, and immediately feel something squishy. As I’m still half-cut, I ignore it and continue to pee. The pee hits the water way too soon. Feeling a bit sus, I turn my phones flashlight on and immediately regret it.

The water is to the top of the bowl. In the bowl is a mixture of brown water, shit, piss, and what looks like blood. I angle my phone down to my feet and, yep, I’ve stood in shit. My trainer is coated in it. I proceed to throw up, adding to the piss/shit/blood mix, exit the bathroom, bin my shoes, and head home shoeless. I never went back to Dublin.
Click to expand...
Funniest part to me in all this is that you had to pay for that experience!!
 
Doczu

Doczu

Member
You ever had taken a hot shit after eating some spicy food? Well i did the unthinkable and spiced my meal up to eleven.

That evening i rolled a blunt and smoked it with my then girlfriend. Had a great time, but suddenly i started feeling something wasn't quite right. I got cold sweats and started feeling really bad on my belly. So i excused myself to the toilet and sat on the throne.

The problem was all that spicy food i had earlier - i felt very lightheaded, visible sweat on my face. I felt like i was dying of a fever. Then i watered the worlds spiciest submarine.

But that wasn't the end. My feet went numb when i tried to rise up for the toilet paper and i fell face down on the floor. Hard bang. So there i was lying on the ground, high as fuck, sweaty from the battle and with a glowing hot ass and my girl opens the toilet door.

I will never forget the look on her face. I told her taht i'm ok, to which she just replied "this will haunt me"
 
Putonahappyface

Putonahappyface

Member
nush said:
My ex wife would camp out in the bathroom for ages on her phone every time she went. As there was only one toilet in out house you can imagine the amount of times I had to bang on the door to get her to hurry up. Eventually she learned to let me know if she was going.

I'm going to the toilet now. Do you want to go first?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.

One time not ten minutes later I got the gut cramps and really needed to go badly. She had just asked and not wanting to have a big blow up (Because she was mental) I needed a solution to maintain the "Domestic bliss". It was during the daytime and the back of my house was overlooked by other houses, so dropping one in the garden was not an option.

So there I am grown ass man squatting down in my kitchen squirting foul liquid shit into a supermarket carrier bag, at least there were kitchen paper towels there for clean-up duties. I then dumped that bio hazard bag behind the shed. Now my kitchen smells like someone took a really nasty shit in it for some inexplicable reason. Fabreeze wasn't going to come to the rescue on this one.

So I made some toast and burnt it, I burnt it multiple times until it resembled Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Wife comes out the bathroom 30 minutes later.

What's that smell?

*Me sweating, can she smell shit still or burnt toast?* I burnt some toast.

Fucking idiot she goes, now the whole kitchen smells of burnt toast.

The perfect crime...
Click to expand...
And I thought my kink was going to far.

3KZWpJo.gif
 
Javthusiast

Javthusiast

Banned
Classroom, I was 10. Let's just say I didn't make it, quickly told teacher I had a headache and ran home before it became obvious.
 
Fools idol

Fools idol

Banned
when I was homeless I took some risky poops for sure.

I would often sneak onto busses in the early hours of the morning so I could sleep safely and once woke up to the bus in full motion in the middle of the night, driving out of town for a service and refuel. Since the driver had clearly not checked the bus before leaving and didn't know I was there, I panicked, but needed a shit so bad I couldnt hold it in any longer. He eventually smelled it and ... well yeah I was at the back of the bus with a shit in my bag and a very fucking confused and angry bus driver at 4 am.
 
ThatGamingDude

ThatGamingDude

I am a virgin
Was like 14 at the time
Part of the tank crew for a progression guild in WoW
Dad was an officer in the guild and got me the spot (Had talent to back it up don't worry)
People flew in from out of state to meet up at this big house

Get a case of the shits
They have a low flow toilet
Decimate their toilet while having to flush like 30 times
Gone for like an hour
 
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Nitty_Grimes

Nitty_Grimes

Made a crappy phPBB forum once ... once.
On a packed tram in Melbourne that had limited stops. End stop was close to the hotel I was stopping at but that 45 minute trip on a jam packed tram especially when you have the little mini farts sneaking out. Couldn’t sit down, was getting some strange looks.
 
SafeOrAlone

SafeOrAlone

Banned
Sometimes when I'm just chillin on the toilet, I imagine how much it'd suck to be in prison. No place to just go and crap, in perfect privacy, for as long as you want. Maybe take a bath after.

Sweet freedom.
 
Banjo64

Banjo64

cumsessed
Not a shit but funny story. I dropped my guts and did the rattiest nastiest shitty lingering fart of my life about 5 months ago whilst I was in the living room. As soon as the stench hit my nostrils I heard the key unlock the front door as my mother in law came home. I grabbed what I thought was my missus’s deodorant of the side in an attempt to mask the putrid stench, but instead of deodorant I sprayed some sort of dove foam aerosol all over the front room.

The mother in law walked in to a room that stank to the high heavens of sewerage and fucking foam all over the couch and carpet.

lol.
 
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