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[dr_octagon]

Thought I'd revive this random poop thread, as I can imagine others here will find this as funny/gross as I did

 

[Kamina]

Stockholm, Gamla Stan
Had do hold it for what felt like an age until we reached a public toilet which i blocked for about 15 minutes.

 

[Sidney Prescott]

Probably an exam when I was in school. Yeah that really sucked.

Especially as I was nervous anyways. The relief when I got through that exam, words can't even explain it tbh.

 

[nush]

Probably an exam when I was in school. Yeah that really sucked.

Especially as I was nervous anyways. The relief when I got through that exam, words can't even explain it tbh.

 

[pramod]

I shat into a sink at a public restroom in a shopping mall. All the stalls were taken and it was either shit on the floor or my pants. I was also on a date at the time so shitting my pants wasnt an option. And i figured a sink is easier to clean up than the floor.

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

Hungover in Thailand after a spicy breakfast only to head out on a speed boat thrashing about on a windy day with rocky seas. My wife was laughing the whole time, as was my best mate. Those 45mins of island crossing was something else, ass muscles were sore for days holding that in.

 

[Kev Kev]

Anywhere not near a toilet

 

[Classicrockfan]

When your in a courtroom for jury duty.

 

[Sidney Prescott]

Yup. That is very accurate.

 

[Lognor]

The salt mine in Poland. We had just gone 1000 ft underground and were at the start of our 2 hour tour when the immediate urge to shit hit me. There were toilets in the mine, but we wouldn't get to it for another 45 minutes and the tour guide would not allow you to leave the group. I tried to hold it but I couldn't. I think it was the undercooked sausage I had the night before. My wife said it looked undercooked but what did she know? I guess she was right because it was coming out, like it or not.

My wife looked at me in that cave and knew by the look on my face I wasn't going to make it. We disobeyed our guide and ran off into the dark cavern. I just barely made it to the toilet before a violent stream of shit exploded out of me. We got yelled at by our guide when he caught up to us, but we were allowed to continue the tour. Worth it.

 

[RaduN]

Summer of '92, at the premiere of Batman Returns.
I was 45 minutes away from home, the movie was more than 2 hours and i felt the "call" the moment i sat down.
I could never go to a public toilet back then, not even for No1. Had some kind of mental barrier (it was not fun at all...) there's a clinical term which i cant remember.

Managed to get home "ok"...at least, this is how i remember it

It was a memorable movie as you can imagine, but mostly because i loved it, despite the situation.

 

[Spaceman292]

About ten years ago I just got made redundant, so to take a break from job hunting, I decided to take a long hike around the hills and country fields near my area.

I was walking through a farmer's field and urgently needed to shit. I saw a tree with a small bush close by and ran for it to drop my load. This wasn't a normal shit. This was a huge, light brown runny shit. The smell was so bad that it made me gag and I was sure it would kill tree and all life that was in close proximity.

I didn't have toilet paper, so had to wipe my ass with a newspaper that was in my backpack, which was a terrible idea as I ended up with newspaper ink and shit all over my ass, not to mention that I had to just throw the shitty paper on the ground. As I was wiping my shitty ass with a copy of the Telegraph, a man appeared in the filed, saw me wiping my ass and sprinted towards me. In a panic, I quickly pulled up my jeans and ran for it.

As I was running, I heard the man stop near the tree where I had polluted the earth with my foul toxins and screamed "you fucking dirty cunt!!!!!", but I didn't stop to look back. I just kept running until I was in the clear.

You deserved to be pitchforked for that

 

[Krathoon]

I have fortunately not been in a dire Number 2 situation and I am in my 40s. I have had some close calls, but managed to find a decent bathroom.

Best Buys and Barns and Nobles are have good backup bathrooms. Always count on a bookstore to have a good bathroom.

 

[chromhound]

I shat into a sink at a public restroom in a shopping mall. All the stalls were taken and it was either shit on the floor or my pants. I was also on a date at the time so shitting my pants wasnt an option. And i figured a sink is easier to clean up than the floor.

 

[Artoris]

A thought I had after listening to all this shit

if you are in a crowded place and there is no time would you do it in the pants or take them off and do it on the ground

 

[Krathoon]

I once saw a security cam video of this Mexican fellow do a Number 2 into one of those potted trees at the mall.

 

[nush]

A thought I had after listening to all this shit

if you are in a crowded place and there is no time would you do it in the pants or take them off and do it on the ground

That would depend on if I knew it was solids or liquids, you might get away with a trouser leg shake on a solid.

 

[DispatchNinja]

2 bad ones come to mind:

Driving from New Mexico to Texas in the middle of nowhere with my in laws when I suddenly feel the urge. Sweating for miles and then I couldn't hold it anymore and I shit my pants in the car. Finally found a Dairy Queen to stop at and I had to throw my shit filled underwear in the trash.

Other time I took my kids swimming at my aunt's pool and I had to go really bad. My kids were too young at the time to be left alone at the pool and they were refusing to get out because they wanted to keep swimming. I finally get them out of the pool and I'm full sprint to the bathroom. Right as I enter the bathroom I'm struggling to untie my swim shorts at which time the runniest shit I've ever had in my life explodes out and I end up just sitting on the toilet, with my shorts still on, as I'm still shitting with it coming out of my shorts and running down my legs. Shit is everywhere now...the floor, rug, all over the toilet, bathtub, and the wall somehow. One of the worst moments of my life.

 

[Tieno]

the elevator to my apartment

 

[kraspkibble]

anywhere is a bad place to urgently need a shit if there's no bathroom near.

doesn't matter if you're in a foreign country you've never been to before and don't know how to ask ¿Dónde está el baño más cercano? or if you're 5 minutes away from home and trying your hardest to hold a big meaty spicy turd bomb in

You sweat like fuck and try your hardest to walk normally cause if you shit your pants or a little chocolate nugget drops out your trousers it's a bad day no matter where you are.

 

[22:22:22]

My pants. To many drinks and benzos and my sphincter lost it's power of compression. And no. No solid log. More like syrupy

Great way to end the night

 

[chromhound]

the elevator to my apartment

wait what...

 

[Tieno]

wait what...

Don't worry, I kept my shorts on, I didn't actually 'drop it' in the elevator, but I couldn't hold it in either.
Threw me shorts in the laundry immediately.

I was coming home from a run, you see.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Parking lot of a bar. I was absolutely hammered and my other option was to shit in my car. Luckily I found a bush to get behind.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Not a worst place but my mate years ago used to like to do comedy shits in weird places.

We live close to a canal so one time he climbs over the canal bridge so he’s slap bang in the middle, waits for an unsuspecting barge to go under and drops his arse all over the barge.

 

[John Marston]

Thread RESURRECTED I love it

 

[Slicker than your average]

Sometimes is good when the shit backs up and your desperate. Because once you find that relief it's amazing.

 

[pramod]

The story actually didn't end there. I didn't want to go into all the "shitty" details in case I ruined someone's lunch. But what happened was I didn't want to leave my "mess" there like a barbarian, so I started to scoop it out of the sink with some paper towels (actually most of it got on my hands). As I was doing this, the janitor came in. Of course he was horrified, and threatened to sue my ass. I was in a panic so I just took out a wad of bills and gave it to him and said "here, I hope that covers it", and while he was confused and trying to count the bills, I took the opportunity to make my escape. I think I gave him like 40 bucks or something. So in a way it was also the costliest shit I ever took in my life.

 

[chromhound]

The story actually didn't end there. I didn't want to go into all the "shitty" details in case I ruined someone's lunch. But what happened was I didn't want to leave my "mess" there like a barbarian, so I started to scoop it out of the sink with some paper towels (actually most of it got on my hands). As I was doing this, the janitor came in. Of course he was horrified, and threatened to sue my ass. I was in a panic so I just took out a wad of bills and gave it to him and said "here, I hope that covers it", and while he was confused and trying to count the bills, I took the opportunity to make my escape. I think I gave him like 40 bucks or something. So in a way it was also the costliest shit I ever took in my life.

Damn the story got worst LOL

 

[dr_octagon]

"shitty" details ... and threatened to sue my ass. I was in a panic so I just took out a wad of bills and

I guess you left a sizeable deposit with the janitor. You also pooped in the sink like an animal.

 

[spawn]

I was training to do a Tough Mudder and I would drive out to a national park that is out in the desert to run through. So I'm running and about 1 mile in my run I start to feel it, but I keep running and I hold it. About 2 miles in I felt this shit was coming bad and it was now very uncomfortable to run. It felt like there was a huge shit about ready to come out so I start walking back, but my car was still 2 miles away and I'm in the desert with no toilet. There was no large bush or big tree for me to go. Since this is a national park a lot of people run, bike, or hike through this area. As soon as I saw no one around I took the biggest shit out in the desert. I had nothing to wipe with. I kept walking to my car that was now 1 mile away. Near my car was a smoothie shop. I went in there and I blew up there public restroom.