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Worst place you have urgently needed to shit?
- Thread starter Martinski43
- Start date
The_hunter
Member
Has to be fake becouse of the pee bottles, no one has social anxiety that badly right? Hilarious none the less.
Beer Baelly
Al Pachinko, Konami President
Ive shitted underneath my truck trailer just this thursday
DeafTourette
Perpetually Offended
Walking from the train station to home... Let's just say I was able to relieve myself but had to throw away my underwear...
Sosokrates
Report me if I continue to console war
IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
The man that caught you was a dick.
I mean..
It was most likely his land. I'd be angry if I caught a random stranger squatting and releasing their bowels on my property. I'm just thankful that he didn't bring a shotgun and/or a dog with him.
ValiantTraveler
Member
Best OT thread in ages, I had a good laugh 
reminds me of Neogaf from years ago.
reminds me of Neogaf from years ago.
anthony2690
Banned
I'm so confused as to what I'm seeing here, I guess I'll never understand some of stuff people are into :lAnd I thought my kink was going to far.
Beer Baelly
Al Pachinko, Konami President
The Pleasure
Member
DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
I shit myself inside of an Uber. Thankfully it was right when it turned down my street to drop me off back home. I had to do a test where I had to fast, so I drank a lot of water that day and on the way home from the test all the water that I drank was ready to come out and I couldn’t hold it in. None of it got in their car though but my shorts and boxers were soaked. Went right into the trash. Those 20 steps to my front door were the longest of my life knowing it was starting to drip down my leg.
Having IBD though I deal with this regularly. Gotta plan for every trip to be safe.
Having IBD though I deal with this regularly. Gotta plan for every trip to be safe.
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Torrent of Pork
Banned
Many times driving a 70' long semi, knowing the first place I can safely stop at is over an hour away.
Doczu
Member
Doczu
Member
They say Paris reeks of shit. Is thst your doing?
Facism
Member
No i held it in because the toilet was basically a hole in the floor with turds crawling out of it, like a portal to turd hell.
Ended up dropping rope 100 miles away in a hotel toilet on the coast.
Doczu
Member
Damn, ground holes are one of my nightmares. I don't know how they can crap in asia to these things...
Just remembered another crazy story.
Trip to Bulgaria. Anyone from there or been there? Ever heard stories about "small pipe drains"?
We just crossed the border to Bulgaria and took a stop on the first gas station. This wasn't some fancy brand station of one of the bigger players. Oh no, no, no this was one of those forgotten by God places, where every worker smoked cigs, inside and next to the pumps. But a man gotta take a dump so buddy fills the car, gf does some beer shopping and i go to the back rooms.
I won't lie, this really looked just a bit better than in Trainspotting. Still, i really NEED TO, and the seat self was clean so i sat on the throne and just Let it Go.
Had to use a lot of paper to clean myself, flushed it and grabbed the door handle and i froze. On the door in broken english was written "Bulgaria, land of small drainage pipes. Please put used toilet paper in the bin". It took me a while to process it and then i saw a second message "flush button broken, please use second toilet".
Yeah i panicked and ran. Not my proudest moment, but i heard the brown river overflowing and had no means to stop it.
Luckily the rest of the crew was waiting for me, so i jumped in and ordered them to make haste.
To this day i'm thinking how, in the name of God, can you put shit paper in the bin? Doesn't it reek Bulgsrian bros?
Insane Metal
Member
In Brazil we also have paper bins in toilets. And no it doesn't smell.
manfestival
Member
The atacama desert was the worst place. In a cramped jeep and was out of toilet paper. Had to wait hours to arrive at our destination just so I could take a dump and piss. Little shack of a place that smelled like death with only a handful of toilet paper to keep me company that I had to pay for when I arrived.
Sosokrates
Report me if I continue to console war
So if you had to shit on somone elses land who would want the owner to be angry at you?
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Doczu
Member
Yeah i'm gonna go and sa
Romulus
Member
I was gushing over this coworker for months and finally asked her out after i broke up with my gf. We went back to her place on the 2nd date and of course I needed to take a mammoth shit.
I clogged it and had to covertly plunge her tiolet the best I could. Finally flushed. Obviously I didn't score that night. Took another week or so, and she eventually became the new gf after a few months.
It was nerve racking and awkward and we laughed about it later.
I clogged it and had to covertly plunge her tiolet the best I could. Finally flushed. Obviously I didn't score that night. Took another week or so, and she eventually became the new gf after a few months.
It was nerve racking and awkward and we laughed about it later.
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funkygunther
Banned
Was a bodybuilding.com story for GAF, not sure if it originated there but predates something awful anyway.
The thread that started a forum war
Insane Metal
Member
It doesn't, there's a bin in every toilet.Yeah i'm gonna go and sa
RoadHazard
Gold Member
How does a bin full of poop-smeared paper not smell? I don't buy it.
Gary Lineker, a former professional football player for England, did a shit on the pitch during a match.
funkygunther
Banned
Paula Radcliffe too, leaving a trap for the runners behind her
TheMan
Member
Boyscout camp. The bathroom was basically a slightly fancy outhouse that smelled terribly and was inundated with flies and mosquitos. Growing up, my Mom was a clean freak so I was used to bathrooms that were immaculate. I could't bear to use those nasty things so I held it for 3 days. By day 3 the urges were so strong and my stomach was already starting to hurt, so I sucked it up and just went. While shitting I got bitten by a mosquito so big my knee started bleeding.
Anyway, I don't do camping nowadays.
Anyway, I don't do camping nowadays.
TheMan
Member
inability to flush toilet paper is a thing in underdeveloped countries. First encountered this in Mexico.
Ogbert
Member
Varanasi.
Travelling with my oldest friend and three hot American chicks that we had befriended in Delhi. I got the obligatory Indian belly. We were sharing a large room with a tiny en-suite. I spent about 15 hours screaming out of my arse whilst the hotties pretended to play scrabble. They didn’t really want to head outside as Varanasi is so fucking weird.
Travelling with my oldest friend and three hot American chicks that we had befriended in Delhi. I got the obligatory Indian belly. We were sharing a large room with a tiny en-suite. I spent about 15 hours screaming out of my arse whilst the hotties pretended to play scrabble. They didn’t really want to head outside as Varanasi is so fucking weird.
Insane Metal
Member
It doesn't get full. It's constantly changed (at least at home). It does smell on public spaces where people let the bin full for days tho.
RoadHazard
Gold Member
Still seems like an unsanitary, smelly mess to me. But I guess it's just not something I'm used to, as we thankfully have proper pipes here in Sweden. I have experienced it once or twice abroad, and it felt super weird to me. Kinda like when I was in Austria and the wash basin was in a different room, completely separated from the toilet by a hallway. So you had to touch two door handles before you could wash your hands after taking a dump. Whoever thought that was a good idea was not a smart person.
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Insane Metal
Member
This is so normal here that it's weird seeing someone complain haha. Few years ago I had no idea people dumped it into the toilet in other places like the US. Anyway, I have never had a problem with smell coming from the bin in my house or my friends' place, girlfriend's etc, only public restrooms like I said before.
But of course I agree just dumping it and flushing is a much better deal!
John Marston
GAF's very own treasure goblin
Reading all your fecal misadventures reminds me how quickly we can become so vulnerable and lose all dignity 
German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
My worst experience was when I was in high school.
I was playing basketball at the local elementary school that was about 10 minutes away. Well, I'm playing and all of the sudden, I feel a diarrhea coming on. I'm too far away from my house or any of my friend's houses, so I run up towards the school and start checking the bathrooms. Every single one is locked, and I'm going to explode any minute!
I wasn't sure what I was going to do until I saw a white sweatshirt with the name "Johnny" on it, laying on the ground. The school was basically deserted, so I grabbed the sweatshirt, found a trash can, and the rest is history.
I was playing basketball at the local elementary school that was about 10 minutes away. Well, I'm playing and all of the sudden, I feel a diarrhea coming on. I'm too far away from my house or any of my friend's houses, so I run up towards the school and start checking the bathrooms. Every single one is locked, and I'm going to explode any minute!
I wasn't sure what I was going to do until I saw a white sweatshirt with the name "Johnny" on it, laying on the ground. The school was basically deserted, so I grabbed the sweatshirt, found a trash can, and the rest is history.
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Soapbox Killer
Grand Nagus
Stuck in traffic after fasting for 3 days ...and I decided to break my fast on an entire cheese pizza.
Probably the worst food decision of my adult life...and I ate gas station sushi on purpose.
Probably the worst food decision of my adult life...and I ate gas station sushi on purpose.
wecantrepeat
Member
i once got diarrhea on the school i used to go to which had lower resources, bathroom was locked.
another day we had an event and they gave out food, the food made me sick and i needed to puke, but once again, the bathroom was locked
another day we had an event and they gave out food, the food made me sick and i needed to puke, but once again, the bathroom was locked
MacReady13
Member
About 10 years went to a chicken place with my wife and kids. Been there before many times and never had any issues. This time though was different- on the way home (a good 45 minute drive) the pain hit the pit of my guts instantly. I had just pulled onto the freeway and I couldn't drive as the pain was intense. To this day I have no idea why the pain was so bad but it almost locked up my body! Luckily for me my parents house was about 5 minute from the freeway entrance but it got that bad that I couldn't get to my parents driveway- I had to stop at the start of their street and walk to their front door!
Soon as it had passed, it was instant relief! Never felt pain like that before though. Unsure if it was the spicy chicken but I had it before and never experienced that level of lower stomach pain before.
Soon as it had passed, it was instant relief! Never felt pain like that before though. Unsure if it was the spicy chicken but I had it before and never experienced that level of lower stomach pain before.
Martinski43
Member
Yes i always try to "get it over with" in the morning leaving home or in the afternoon before going home so i don't get the shits while commuting.
But sometimes my tummy and asshole don't want to cooperate even if i have taken a shit in the morning.
-Minsc-
Member
Shit posting, the thread.
When you consider what I was actually doing at the time my "worst" place is more ironic than anything. Basically I was tying in the plumbing under a cottage out somewhere. So, I dug a bit of a hole with my hammer under the cottage and did my business. Hopefully my burial site does not haunt the place.
When you consider what I was actually doing at the time my "worst" place is more ironic than anything. Basically I was tying in the plumbing under a cottage out somewhere. So, I dug a bit of a hole with my hammer under the cottage and did my business. Hopefully my burial site does not haunt the place.
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German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Lady Redfield
Member
This is going back about 15 years…I was on midnight shift, so, waking up, it was breakfast time, but, decided the first thing I wanted to have that day was McNuggets. McDonald’s was near the bus stop so my friend I worked with and I got food, then got on the 45 minute bus ride to work. My stomach rumbled about 5 minutes in to the ride, and, holy shit, I wanted to kill myself. My body wanted to cleanse that McDonald’s out right then and there, the bus ride felt like 80 years as I clamped my ass cheeks together and begged the colon gods for mercy. I had never been so excited to get to work in my entire life.
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poppabk
Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Think we have a winner
news.atlantanewsmedia.com
She Just Couldn’t Hold It: Drug mule arrested after diarrhea ejects cocaine in middle of airport - Atlanta News Media
An American tourist was arrested after more than 40 of the pellets of cocaine hidden in her anal cavity were ejected by a severe case
news.atlantanewsmedia.com
MudoSkills
Volcano High Alumnus (Cum Laude)
Florida. Say no more.Think we have a winner
She Just Couldn’t Hold It: Drug mule arrested after diarrhea ejects cocaine in middle of airport - Atlanta News Media
An American tourist was arrested after more than 40 of the pellets of cocaine hidden in her anal cavity were ejected by a severe case
anthony2690
Banned
Thought I'd revive this random poop thread, as I can imagine others here will find this as funny/gross as I did 
NSFW language
NSFW language
"
Growing up, I was fascinated with scat sex. I used to download tonnes of scat movies and I always fantasised having a women shit on my body and in my mouth one day. After years of fantasising, I finally decided to pay for the professional escort Louise Hunter, who is well known for her scat movies. I turned up at her house and she seemed nice enough. She knew it was my first time experiencing scat, so she knew to take it slow. Louise had laid down some plastic on the floor in her living room, and lots of towels on top of that. I fucked her for a while, before laying on my back and letting her piss on my cock and stomach. Then she was about to start shitting and I asked if she could do it directly into my mouth. She happily shuffled backwards and started shitting in my mouth. As soon as the shit touched my tongue, I knew I had made a huge mistake. This was not how I imagined it would be, and at that moment I was simply a normal guy, on his back, with a women's shit in his mouth. The thing was I was too polite to tell her to stop. She had already told me she had had clients that asked her to stop and I didn't want to be one of them. So I stuck it out, and just let most of the shit fall off my lips onto the towel. I finished myself off by wanking onto her and then she let me take a shower to clean myself up before I left.
I've never watched another scat movie since and I have no intention of trying it again."
Source:
Growing up, I was fascinated with scat sex. I used to download tonnes of scat movies and I always fantasised having a women shit on my body and in my mouth one day. After years of fantasising, I finally decided to pay for the professional escort Louise Hunter, who is well known for her scat movies. I turned up at her house and she seemed nice enough. She knew it was my first time experiencing scat, so she knew to take it slow. Louise had laid down some plastic on the floor in her living room, and lots of towels on top of that. I fucked her for a while, before laying on my back and letting her piss on my cock and stomach. Then she was about to start shitting and I asked if she could do it directly into my mouth. She happily shuffled backwards and started shitting in my mouth. As soon as the shit touched my tongue, I knew I had made a huge mistake. This was not how I imagined it would be, and at that moment I was simply a normal guy, on his back, with a women's shit in his mouth. The thing was I was too polite to tell her to stop. She had already told me she had had clients that asked her to stop and I didn't want to be one of them. So I stuck it out, and just let most of the shit fall off my lips onto the towel. I finished myself off by wanking onto her and then she let me take a shower to clean myself up before I left.
I've never watched another scat movie since and I have no intention of trying it again."
Source: