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Dean Takahashi's 9-year old daughter reviews LocoRoco; writes better than me

K

Kobun Heat

Member
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/aei/2006/08/guest_preview_a.html

In Loco Roco, you are a planet located in a far away galaxy. On you live little creatures called Loco Roco. One day, while you were taking a nap, disaster struck! Creatures from outer space came and started eating the Loco Roco! Help them get away by rolling left and right to avoid Mojas (creatures from outer space) and collect the fruits to grow. It's 2D graphics and the guy you are trying to help is a hairy little yellow ball with antennae. You control it with the left and right buttons, which tilt the game world one way or another. You jump by holding both at the same time. This game is for younger kids such as five- or six-year-olds. Older kids might not like it. The music is for two- or three-year-olds. It gets annoying with the baby singing. If you beat the level, you get a prize. I haven't beaten the whole level yet so I don't know what the prize is. I'd give this game a one out of four star rating.
Click to expand...
 
B

buckfutter

Member
She clearly missed the subtle ecological thematics and racist iconography that elevates LocoRoco above the common pablum served up piping-cold to neglected gamers around the world. I'd give her review a one out of four rating if I didn't believe scores to be trite and meaningless quantifications of abstract concepts.
 
T

thetrin

Hail, peons, for I have come as ambassador from the great and bountiful Blueberry Butt Explosion
Her writing is scholarly, and her opinion is rock solid and believable. Awesome review.
 
C

Cheerilee

Member
Dean's Daughter said:
...such as five- or six-year-olds.
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I'm surprised that a nine-year-old knew how to add that dash after the five so it would read so fluidly (not once but twice), when I wouldn't have known how to do that, and apparently neither did Kobun.

Kobun Heat said:
...9-year old...
Click to expand...
Tsk tsk. :D
 
R

radjago

Member
This game is for younger kids such as five- or six-year-olds. Older kids might not like it. The music is for two- or three-year-olds.
Click to expand...
Kids these days think they're so god damned sophisticated. Back in my time, we knew our place.
 
L

lilltias

Member
apparently, kids games are not for kids anymore (kids demand GTA). not that LocoRoco is a true kids game, but one would think that a 9-year old would swallow it whole. nah. :)
 
S

sprsk

force push the doodoo rock
I'm sure Mr. Takahashi actually wrote this review, or atleast went in and edited it quite a bit. The grammar mistakes are stupid, but it's like, F.O.B. stupid, not little kid stupid.
 
T

thetrin

Hail, peons, for I have come as ambassador from the great and bountiful Blueberry Butt Explosion
NinjaDOF[MSV] said:
apparently, kids games are not for kids anymore (kids demand GTA). not that LocoRoco is a true kids game, but one would think that a 9-year old would swallow it whole. nah. :)
Click to expand...

Kids games are for adults now. I seem to enjoy blue sky games far more than the super hardcore gory violent games. Not that I don't love those too. ;)
 
F

Forceatowulf

G***n S**n*bi
That is adorable :lol

If you beat the level, you get a prize. I haven't beaten the whole level yet so I don't know what the prize is. I'd give this game a one out of four star rating.

:lol :lol :lol

buckfutter said:
And she didn't even finish a level before she reviewed it! I swear, the state of 9-year-old games journalism these days.
Click to expand...
:lol This thread is awesome.
 
A

Acosta

Member
I believe allowing his daugther reviewing a game without completing one single level hurts the credibility of Dean Takahashi as journalist.
 
T

typhonsentra

Banned
Just another attention whore chick the big sites hired for a pair of boobs for retard fanboys to stare at!

At least she played through farther than SOME reviewers do though.
 
B

Brobzoid

how do I slip unnoticed out of a gloryhole booth?
typhonsentra said:
Just another attention whore chick the big sites hired for a pair of boobs for retard fanboys to stare at!

At least she played through farther than SOME reviewers do though.
Click to expand...

first loli reviewer confermed!
 
J

Juice

Member
Her review was obviously influenced by all of the Microsoft moneyhats given to her daddy.

She know who feeds her. And it isn't the PSP.
 
L

lobdale

3 ft, coiled to the sky
This game is obviously too kiddie. Why does Sony insist on targetting the five- and six-year-olds market when the lucrative nine-year-olds are the ones buying up all the games? Come on, Sony. Think mature.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
Stormbringer said:
No no, I'm totally serious here.
Is it too much for me to want to share the Miracle of Life ? *wipe a tear*
Click to expand...

apparently so! no gene spreading for you ahahahaha.

I agree with this review, in the time I played it at the movie theatre demo station, the baby singing got on my wick real bad. Not to mention the game is one big "jump up this hill, oops didn't make it slide back down again" feeling of frustration.
 
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