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Americans, please consider buying a bidet this Christmas.
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highrider
Banned
Yes.
German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
30 minutes? F*ck that.
I don't even like spending 2 minutes brushing my teeth.
The Pleasure
Member
Fuck the British. I'm not into having my Fanny tickled.
BigBooper
Member
NecrosaroIII
Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
I bought one last Christmas. It changed my life.
I had a Toto washlet that cost an ungodly amount of money and I found it useless
To give you an analogy- imagine you have a dishwasher where you still have to wash and dry your dishes once you take them out.
I decided to try it one more time and got a different brand - Bio Bidet Bliss - a tiny bit better still useless.
To give you an analogy- imagine you have a dishwasher where you still have to wash and dry your dishes once you take them out.
I decided to try it one more time and got a different brand - Bio Bidet Bliss - a tiny bit better still useless.
notseqi
Member
Got used to real bidets, my current flat isn't equipped to install one though.
Not wanting to miss out on the fun of splashing water onto my no-no-no-area I currently employ the following technique:
1. Fully unpants one leg.
2. Unpantsed leg in the bathtub, resting the still pantsed asscheeck on the rim of the tub.
3. Tub leg and foot up on the rim of the tub in a comfortable position, allowing watery access to poop central.
4. Splishy splashy with the shower hose on dat dere stinky ring.
5. Dry off the affected area with toilet paper.
6. Repant yourself.
Clean, easy, quick, refreshing and all without much fuss or water spillage.
Not wanting to miss out on the fun of splashing water onto my no-no-no-area I currently employ the following technique:
1. Fully unpants one leg.
2. Unpantsed leg in the bathtub, resting the still pantsed asscheeck on the rim of the tub.
3. Tub leg and foot up on the rim of the tub in a comfortable position, allowing watery access to poop central.
4. Splishy splashy with the shower hose on dat dere stinky ring.
5. Dry off the affected area with toilet paper.
6. Repant yourself.
Clean, easy, quick, refreshing and all without much fuss or water spillage.
mcz117chief
Member
I tried them in Japan, not my thing AT ALL. Incredibly uncomfortable to me. It definitely works but I just couldn't do it.
kraspkibble
Permabanned.
i've got this far without one i think i'll be OK (not american btw) but i think they would be good to reduce paper waste.
Roxkis_ii
Member
Do you put toilet paper up your ass or just wipe the outside? Do you ever wash your ass in the shower?
Being clean isn't gay.
People walking around with stank ass wondering why their single.
On topic. Do they have a biget that shoot fire? I don't wanna wipe or wait.
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Cunth
Fingerlickin' Good!
This is like some Greek philosophy shit
ManofOne
Plus Member
Slings and Arrows
Banned
Two options:
1. Wipe your arse with your hand then wash your hand like they do in the Middle-east
2. Have a proper diet.
If you need to jet blast clinkers and clagnuts from your arsehole, or wash down the chud-slide from your sphincter, then change your diet. You should only ever need 3 wipes:
1. Initial wipe
2. Check wipe
3. Courtesy wipe for the Queen
It's times like this that i'm glad we cut ties with the New World savages
1. Wipe your arse with your hand then wash your hand like they do in the Middle-east
2. Have a proper diet.
If you need to jet blast clinkers and clagnuts from your arsehole, or wash down the chud-slide from your sphincter, then change your diet. You should only ever need 3 wipes:
1. Initial wipe
2. Check wipe
3. Courtesy wipe for the Queen
It's times like this that i'm glad we cut ties with the New World savages
Impotaku
Member
MetalAlien
Banned
I use my left hand like every other virgin loving Muslim.
EverydayBeast
thinks Halo Infinite is a new graphical benchmark
Not trying to judge but shitting is what it is, you want to shit and move on so, toilet paper is just easier.
DarkestHour
Banned
I disagree with your water temperature comment. The water is cold in winter because the water coming out of the bidet is cold. You don't think the bidet is using TOILET WATER do you? It's the same water lines that are exposed to ambient temperatures and for many homes those pipes are not insulated or housed in a temperature controlled location.
BigBooper
Member
It's the only way to be sure.
Anki
Banned
I would love to have a bidet but the person who was renovating my bathroom said its very hard to install it because i need power source for bidet and to do that he would have to break the new tiles to put the new cables for electricity.
notseqi
Member
High-fiving your poop chute?
Mitsuda Maniac
Member
Seems kinda useless. One could use the best bidet in the world, but would anyone actually consider the area as "clean" even a measly 10 minutes later after using the bidet?
TP plus wet wipes when needed is perfectly fine for me.
TP plus wet wipes when needed is perfectly fine for me.
How does shooting a water jet into your hairy anus cleans it properly? That jet probably splatters the shit all over your cheecks. But hey, your anus at least feels fresh. Sounds more like it's some kind of selfplesuring method.
Might aswell just dip your asshole in some water and wash it with soap. Sounds way more effective.
Might aswell just dip your asshole in some water and wash it with soap. Sounds way more effective.
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The Pleasure
Member
Oyyy govna that there bidget flicked me plums it did! Damn you Dio Brando!
ultrazilla
Gold Member
I'm American and use a bidet here at my home. It *IS* a game changer.
Simply put, Americans are walking around with gnarly ass stank because most of them are using DRY TOILET PAPER to clean up after dropping
their ordinance in the toilet. It's nasty.
The feeling of freshness and sense of "security" that I'm not going to walk by someone and leave poop particles in some hot chick's nose is very comforting.
Check out bidets on Amazon or where ever you may shop. They're relatively easy to hook up and your ass will thank you later.
Simply put, Americans are walking around with gnarly ass stank because most of them are using DRY TOILET PAPER to clean up after dropping
their ordinance in the toilet. It's nasty.
The feeling of freshness and sense of "security" that I'm not going to walk by someone and leave poop particles in some hot chick's nose is very comforting.
Check out bidets on Amazon or where ever you may shop. They're relatively easy to hook up and your ass will thank you later.
ultrazilla
Gold Member
FunkMiller
Member
So you poor fuckers stink and have no guns! Horrible.
I’m only half Australian, so only half of me stinks. The bottom half.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
lachesis
Member
Bidets are nice. I became a convert when I visited Japan last time - warm toilet seat to boot. Adjustable water pressure and all...
I would like to get one that doesn't shoot cold water though. My house' cold water line is exceptionally cold during winter time.
Perhaps when I renovate my place later on, I would invest in a proper bidet toilet.
I would like to get one that doesn't shoot cold water though. My house' cold water line is exceptionally cold during winter time.
Perhaps when I renovate my place later on, I would invest in a proper bidet toilet.
DarkestHour
Banned
It soaks my hairy ass and sprays all over my dick. So I'm shooting shit water all over my dick.
J-Roderton
Member
Does TP just not do the job for some people?
ultrazilla
Gold Member
You're doing it wrong brother. You got to adjust your ass and package to make sure it hits right in the bunghole.
MetalAlien
Banned
You gotta do what you gotta do to get yer 50 virgins.
German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Guilty.
Hudo
Member
Yeah, this is a bidet. Dunno what the fuck the thing that OP linked to is supposed to be. But a real bidet is a dedicated sanitary facility. Got one, too. It's pretty dope.This is a bidet my dude
Fugitive Sex
Member
There are too many dirty retards in this place who are proud of being dirty retards.
Alter_Fridge
Member
Joe Bidet?