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The Autumn Wind
I really don't know. Maybe because I was working the area above where the blood was coming from? It's not a situation I've ever encountered otherwise.how could you not tell she was on her period when you went down on her?
I really don't know. Maybe because I was working the area above where the blood was coming from? It's not a situation I've ever encountered otherwise.how could you not tell she was on her period when you went down on her?
This girl I dated right out of HS.
We'd been going out for about 3 months or so, and she invites me over to watch some movies. Well, I always know "movies" equals "time to fool around!' so I'm game. I go over, we're starting to get hot and heavy, and I start the fun game of "lets see how far I can go." Before I know it, we're both in our birthday suits, I'm 5' tall laying down, and she's all over me.
Then I start to hear sounds from the next room over. Its clearly moaning, her parents were going at it. Like really going at it. But the thing is, its almost like she's more into it now that her parents are going at it. She starts moaning real loud, even though we hadn't even done anything yet. I try to get my mind focused, but then I hear her dad yell something, and she literally grabs my head and tries to force me to eat her out.
Her dad walks up to the door, and he's standing there for a good minute or so. I'm soft as can be now, she's fingering herself and trying to get my engines going again, and moaning like crazy. All the while, her dad continues to stand at the door. I shove her hand away, throw my clothes on, and go out the window.
That's what made it so much worse. She knew! And she let me... she let me... *weeps*
I didn't know what to think at the time. I just know I was creeped out. I ran into her and her mom a few months after that, and they're both asking why I quit coming around, why I quit calling, etc.
They knew why I left. I knew why I left. It was just incredibly awkward, probably the most awkward I'd ever been in my life.
Dude, I would've done the same. What would've you done? Her dad was watching...
He just thought she was really, really wet.how could you not tell she was on her period when you went down on her?
how could you not tell she was on her period when you went down on her?
Blood dries quickly. You have sex with a girl on her period and it dries even quicker due to being smeared thin by friction. After a while it becomes imperative you use lube, otherwise it is like rubbing your dick in a tight hole full of dried rubber cement.He just thought she was really, really wet.
Blood dries quickly. You have sex with a girl on her period and it dries even quicker due to being smeared thin by friction. After a while it becomes imperative you use lube, otherwise it is like rubbing your dick in a tight hole full of dried rubber cement.
Then you try to scrub off the flakes.
Whiskey dick when I have the chance to fuck a super hot girl who had previously friend zoned me. That feeling when you realize how unlikely it is to happen again
Dude you could of had her mom/her you never know. Long as dad didn't want to get involved because we all know that could be creepy! Mannnnn I wish I could help you time travel back to fix this.
Family fun time baby! As long as her Dad didn't want to get in on the mix, or watch. Fuck that noise. But mom and daughter? I am 100% down for the club man. Sorry been watching sons of anarchy again.
Rum -> Whiskey.
Rum never let me down.
I'm pretty sure that if I could go back in time, I just would have had her over to my house for "movie time". Problem solved!
The last time I was with this girl I'd been dating before it was over, she did the "just lay there" thing where in the past she was really active.
I think two of the big myths about sex held by people who haven't had sex is:Holy shit, realest post ever.
I think two of the big myths about sex held by people who haven't had sex is:
a. Period sex is messy but wet (in reality it is uncomfortable and chunky and yes, very messy)
b. Sex in water is good (when in reality you may as well be getting a dry rub from the world champion of arm wrestling)
I think two of the big myths about sex held by people who haven't had sex is:
a. Period sex is messy but wet (in reality it is uncomfortable and chunky and yes, very messy)
b. Sex in water is good (when in reality you may as well be getting a dry rub from the world champion of arm wrestling)
Yep, like fucking a Chinese finger trap.Agreed. Sex in shower also sucks.
I think two of the big myths about sex held by people who haven't had sex is:
a. Period sex is messy but wet (in reality it is uncomfortable and chunky and yes, very messy)
b. Sex in water is good (when in reality you may as well be getting a dry rub from the world champion of arm wrestling)
You would think dried blood in your stubble would feel even more obvious than just blood. Period sex isn't a disaster, but I don't think i'd ever really be comfortable going down while she's menstruating.Blood dries quickly. You have sex with a girl on her period and it dries even quicker due to being smeared thin by friction. After a while it becomes imperative you use lube, otherwise it is like rubbing your dick in a tight hole full of dried rubber cement.
Then you try to scrub off the flakes.
This girl I dated right out of HS.
We'd been going out for about 3 months or so, and she invites me over to watch some movies. Well, I always know "movies" equals "time to fool around!' so I'm game. I go over, we're starting to get hot and heavy, and I start the fun game of "lets see how far I can go." Before I know it, we're both in our birthday suits, I'm 5' tall laying down, and she's all over me.
Then I start to hear sounds from the next room over. Its clearly moaning, her parents were going at it. Like really going at it. But the thing is, its almost like she's more into it now that her parents are going at it. She starts moaning real loud, even though we hadn't even done anything yet. I try to get my mind focused, but then I hear her dad yell something, and she literally grabs my head and tries to force me to eat her out.
Her dad walks up to the door, and he's standing there for a good minute or so. I'm soft as can be now, she's fingering herself and trying to get my engines going again, and moaning like crazy. All the while, her dad continues to stand at the door. I shove her hand away, throw my clothes on, and go out the window.
People fart, grow up. Not a big deal unless the smell is horrid or it's a constant thing with her.The girl farted during sex... Not a queef a fart. I cringe every time I think about it.
Alright, what does nice pussy smell like?
(To clarify, I'm not VirginGAF here. I'm GayGAF.)
1 - 2 AM: i'm back home with a girl I've known for a few weeks.. we're both nice and sauced. we finally make it up to my room and start getting to business. gratuitous kissing of the body and what not leads to sex. condom on and it's fun drunk sex! suddenly, and i kid you not, a MOTH with an 8-inch wing span flies in through my open bedroom window. judging by the way it was flying, it must have been as drunk as us. unfortunately, my fear of moths trumps any kind of common sense. I screamed like a schoolgirl and jumped off the bed. She was petrified, like a burglar had entered the room. Once she saw the moth though, she too entered Freak Mode. We are both naked and screaming like children.
The whole ordeal ended with me eventually killing the moth with a sandal + pillow + my hands. I flushed the behemoth down the toilet and that was it. We both went to sleep.
First time having sex with my new girlfriend. After 10 minutes of foreplay, I slip on the condom and slide in. I give her a couple of thrusts and she starts screaming... and hitting me! I slow down and puzzled, I ask her if I'm hurting her. She looks up at me, with crazy eyes and says "DONT' STOP, IT's SO GOOD!"... I did finish what I started but it weirded me out...
We ended up having sex a few more times before breaking up and she always acted that way...
Alright, what does nice pussy smell like?
(To clarify, I'm not VirginGAF here. I'm GayGAF.)
it was a summer just like this. 100 degrees during the day, 90 degrees during the night. i was in college.
1 - 2 AM: i'm back home with a girl I've known for a few weeks.. we're both nice and sauced. we finally make it up to my room and start getting to business. gratuitous kissing of the body and what not leads to sex. condom on and it's fun drunk sex! suddenly, and i kid you not, a MOTH with an 8-inch wing span flies in through my open bedroom window. judging by the way it was flying, it must have been as drunk as us. unfortunately, my fear of moths trumps any kind of common sense. I screamed like a schoolgirl and jumped off the bed. She was petrified, like a burglar had entered the room. Once she saw the moth though, she too entered Freak Mode. We are both naked and screaming like children.
The whole ordeal ended with me eventually killing the moth with a sandal + pillow + my hands. I flushed the behemoth down the toilet and that was it. We both went to sleep.
The worst sex I had consisted of the first few times I actually had sex.
Didn't realize how badly Prozac destroyed the way my penis works. I would lose erections, and I could not for the life of me orgasm.
I'm on Cialis now, and I'm not embarrassed by that at all. My penis works on binary code.
Sex is so god damn incredible now.
How exactly does Cialis work, anyways? Does it just make it so you don't lose your erection? Or is it more like, "I just think it and I'm hard!"? I know what viagra does, but Cialis has always been kind of like... unclear in their marketing.
Wonder how many of you guys were also your ladies' worst sexual experience.
After all the horror stories in here, I'm glad I've never been with a smelly girl...yet.
Always do the check.
-Get handsy down there.
-Bring hand back up.
-Kiss her with your hand holding the back of her head.
-Discretely sniff.
-Judge.
Basically if you have the drive it works. Your penis is either on or off; and it's only when you want it to be. It turns you into a robot, in other words.
Viagra is more for people who don't have the drive originally.
Always do the check.
-Get handsy down there.
-Bring hand back up.
-Glide fingers under her nose
-Judge by her reaction
I spent an entire school year chasing a super duper hot Spanish girl in college. I mean I had to pull out every trick in the bag...you know them:
No I do not like to drink
No I do not like to hang out with my friends and drink
No I do not want to drink before the football game
No I do not enjoy having a drink while I am at a party
etc
I mean I put in WORK......Finally the day happens, everything aligned and the God's showed love to me. She calls me and says "my roomates are gone for the weekend, want to have a slumber party?"
Oh fuck yes I do.....
So I get there and she has picked out 4 crappy movies and equally crappy food...ok bad start.....Let me just go get a beer......d'oh........fruit juice? WTF? Are we 21 or 16?
I tolerate an entire weekend of immensely boring conversation about politics and school shit and manage to avoid 3 awesome parties that I distinctly remember because all I ever heard about was how it was like 3-1 girls to guys and crazy epic legendary shit went down (in one of them some people managed to destroy a 200 foot long chain link fence.....with a lawnmower....d'oh)
Anyway, finally we get to the point where I know I am getting laid and......yup.....she lays there better than any corpse in any movie I have ever seen while trying to TALK ABOUT SCHOOLWORK while I am getting my dinky do on......
To top it off after 5 minutes she says "you're too thick you're hurting me, let's stop"
I found a reason to leave, can't remember why, and never spoke to her again. Truthfully I wasn't even mad we stopped. I was glad to GTFO of that shit.