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My husband has ‘sexsomnia’ — he has sex with me while he’s asleep


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This couple’s sex life is — literally — a dream come true.

A woman has revealed her husband’s “embarrassing” sexual secret — and no, it’s not outlandishly kinky.

Using the alias Rachel, the woman claimed in a recent interview on the podcast “Healthy-ish” that her husband, Nick, experiences “sexsomnia,” which causes him to initiate sexy time while he’s sound asleep.

His wife, however, doesn’t mind it too much, and claims their sessions can get so “passionate” that she actually enjoys it.

“I was fast asleep, I thought he was fast asleep, and all of a sudden he started to get a little bit handsy with me,” she told “Healthy-ish.” “I tried to talk to him and be like, ‘What’s going on?’ because [he’s] obviously fast asleep, and he didn’t respond, and I then realized he was unconscious. When I mentioned to him the next morning, he had no recollection of it whatsoever.”

Sexsomnia is extremely rare. One study found that, out of 16,000 participants, only 17 cases of the condition were reported. As of 2015, only 94 cases have been reported.

Couple fighting in bed

A majority of the time, Rachel explained, Nick wakes up when the sex gets more involved, saying they have a “6 out of 10 success rate.”

“If we’re both in the mood then what’s the harm?” Rachel joked, suggesting that it’s actually improved their sex lives.

Much like other sleep disorders, such as insomnia and sleepwalking, certain behaviors and activities can aggravate sexsomnia, such as stress or anxiety, drinking alcohol, sleep deprivation, poor sleeping conditions, traveling and even sharing a bed. Some people who experience sexsomnia also sleepwalk, or perhaps did at one point.

The condition isn’t just about getting a little frisky with a partner while unconscious — sexsomniacs may also masturbate, moan and even reach a spontaneous climax while snoozing.

Dr. Guy Leschziner, a neurologist and the author of “The Nocturnal Brain: Nightmares, Neuroscience, and the Secret World of Sleep” (St. Martin’s Press), detailed the case of his sexsomniac patient, Tom. He attempted to initiate sex with his partner Sarah, who called the encounter more “awkward and annoying” than anything.

But then she made a connection to his time spent in prison — 3 ½ years for raping his ex while she slept.

Tom and Sarah had access to a sleep doctor to help solve their problem, but not everyone is so lucky. In the most extreme cases, the ultra-rare condition has been used in legal defenses for accused rapists.

Couple laying in bed

While it appears to affect men more often, one woman detailed her own sexsomnia experiences for Well+Good last year.

Morgan Mandriota spent the night at a friend’s house years ago, getting a good night’s sleep and waking up the following morning to indulge in some breakfast with their family.

She had no clue she had been moaning in her sleep the previous night — so loudly, in fact, that it woke up the entire family.

“Mortifying? Yup. Did I ever show my face there again? Nope. Welcome to my reality of living with sexsomnia,” Mandriota wrote.

“Most sexsomniacs experience amnesia for the event — if awoken during the act, they’re typically confused and have no memory of what occurred,” sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., told Well+Good. “When they learn of their behavior, they may feel surprise, shame, guilt and humiliation.”

couple laying in bed

For those who would rather be a freak in the sheets when they’re awake, sexsomnia is treatable. Reducing drug and alcohol consumption, treating sleep disorders and identifying any underlying anxiety, stress and depression may be the first step to stopping the unwanted nighttime romps.

Some experts recommend seeking therapy, as it can help process unconscious negative feelings that could be triggering the sexsomnia, which is typically diagnosed in a sleep clinic.


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kitten sleep GIF


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So it is some form of sleepwalking? I hate that, my current GF has it and it always scares me out.

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
This happens to me, albeit with less frequency as I've gotten older. IDK what it is, but I will wake up mid-coitus. I just assume I have lots of naughty dreams.


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I've had a few nights were we both kinda kept fucking in and out of sleep. I dunno how the girls felt about it but I felt pretty good :p

It only happened real early in a relationship though when the strange is.....strange and I was coming out of a drought :p

"sleep rape" though, really? I get that maybe it's not entirely welcome 'cause you are trying to sleep but calling it "rape" really devalues the word IMHO.


“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Some of you joke, but back in my early twenties I had severe stress related insomnia so they prescribed me some kind of Ambien-like sleep meds (I don't remember the name) and one of the side effects was "sleep walking or similar behavior". I "woke up" about 3 or 4 weeks into using it with my GF at the time telling me "its too late for this babe". I was half on top of her kissing her neck and had my hand up her shirt. I had literally no memory of getting that far at all. Not even a fuzzy glimpse. Was very confused, but very sleepy so I just went back to bed. Turns out it wasn't even the first night I had done it though. I told her the next morning that I didn't remember starting to do that to her and she told me I had done something similar a few days before but "went back to sleep" shortly after I started. Something else I had no memory of at all. I stopped the medication that day and never experienced something like that before or since. My doctor said that I wasn't the first person to report something like that though. Still freaks me out to this day when I think about it. The ability to do something like that and legit not even remember how it started or how you got there. Its why I am so anal about my medications and their side effects to this day.

No idea if this story is legit though, but it did remind me of that experience.
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Yeah I don't think it's super rare, it's not a regular thing but has happened more than a few times to me. I go in and out of consciousness, so I can remember parts of it when my wife mentions it the next day.
This is exactly me. The wife laughs at me the next day. Telling me I was mumbling some nonsense while going at it.


Gold Member
Jokes aside this has happened to me a few times over the years and I would come round out of a comatosed state at the fondling stage and then immediately stop and feel terribly guilty. ☹️


I thought it was the other way round, that her husband did it when she was asleep. Sleeping Beauty Syndrome etc


Gold Member
If the husband is dreaming who is dreaming of ? Surely not his wife... That is what would bother me
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