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What's the most f*cked up thing you've done for sex?

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Triumph

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bishoptl said:
I lip-synched Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" at a girl's apartment to seal the deal once. WTF was I thinking??!?

Yeah - the whole song.
Dude, that's nowhere near as bad as saying, "Yeah, 'My Heart Will Go On' really touched something deep inside me."
 
I lathered my penis in peanut butter and had my Shar Pei lick it off. Then I anally raped it. So what? Don't judge me. You don't know me. It's my body. I look good.
 

Socreges

Banned
kiss of a loved one said:
I lathered my penis in peanut butter and had my Shar Pei lick it off. Then I anally raped it. So what? Don't judge me. You don't know me. It's my body. I look good.
I don't know if that qualifies, unless the dog wanted it too.
 
Haha, ok, my bar that I go to is great great great. So I'm chillin' and this one girl comes in and practically stops the room cause she had a great body. She sits down near my group, and every mother fucker is trying to jock her and shit. I don't even care cause no girl, at that time in my life, is worth stressin' over, and I'm out to drink. So of course, she wonders why the fuck I'm ignoring her, and my bartender buddy tells her about me and shit, and she comes over. I'm no-selling cause to be honest, it's a headache sometimes when you're just out to drink. End up the girl's a pretty cool chick, we end up talking shop and having a good time. I got her to dance on teh bar, and now I'm like "I gotta work that."

So it's close to closing, last call, and she's getting ready to go, and I say "no, you're staying..." We chat, we flirt, and I'm laying it on thick now. I'm trying to make it an away game, she's worried about her roommates, and I'm pondering like a son of a bitch. Hotel? No. My friend's place? Probably asleep... Bar closes, security ushers everyone out, including my boys, cause I asked them to. The bartenders are counting their money, and I ask one of the guys if I can close the bar. He's reluctant, but after a few favors I promised, I got the keys to the place.

Needless to stay, the basement of the bar, where kegs are stored, as well as a leather business chair and work desk, holds a special place in my heart... Now that's being getting it...

My boy gets ultrawingman award for taking home one of her friends, and I would not have done it...
 
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