Jack Thompson, Anti-Game Crusader
His Dream:
Ridding the world of evil things, most notably Grand Theft Auto. The game, not the theft.
His Quest:
Most of you know Florida attorney Jack Thompson as the anti-video game guy. But even before that he worked overtime as a moral crusader. Be it rap music, Howard Stern, South Park, video games or Janet Reno, Thompson never found an imaginary threat he couldn't exploit, an opponent he couldn't harass or a crime he couldn't blame on the evils of popular culture.
Jack Thompson first came to national attention in the late 80s when he ran for Dade County State Attorney against future Attorney General and UFA Fighting Champion, Janet Reno. At a campaign event, Thompson asked Reno whether she was gay or not. Reno told him that she only liked "virile men" and that's why she wasn't attracted to him. Unlike most people, who would have crawled into a hole for the rest of their lives after having their manhood disparaged by Janet Reno, Thompson launched a public career out of it.
He wasn't man enough for her.
His dick probably permanently shriveled and useless, Thompson began attacking anything and everything he perceived to be a threat. He started by trying to get 2 Live Crew records banned, not on the grounds that they were shitty, but on the grounds that were corrupting youth and spreading indecency. In one of his first of his many jaw-droppingly inane public statements, Thompson likened the release of their albums to firing an AK-47 into a crowded schoolyard.
Thompson also started to refer to himself as 'Batman' and sent people copies of his driver's license with a Batman costume drawn over his face. Clearly, the man meant business. You don't draw a Batman costume on your picture unless you're serious. Or 10.
Thompson continued to look for things to be upset about until he came upon the gold standard for people convinced that kids are too stupid to understand the difference between fantasy and reality: Grand Theft Auto.
Thompson started his crusade in 2003 when he forced his way on to the legal team in a case involving a shooting by a teenager. He attempted to get the defense, the prosecution and the judge to blame Grand Theft Auto for "training" the kid to kill people. Thompson was eventually thrown off the case.
But Should Have Quit Before...
Like most crazy people, Thompson only drew encouragement from his failure. For the next few years, he traveled from state to state, shoehorning his way into murder trials involving kids, trying to get someone, anyone to blame violent video games.
When none of those attempts worked, he then tried to sue the makers of GTA, Take Two Interactive, claiming that the game was "the greatest threat to children since polio." He also sent a letter to Take Two chairman Strauss Zelnick's mother, claiming she had raised him like he was in the Hitler Youth. All of Thompson's cases against Take Two Interactive failed, and he eventually agreed not to publicly comment on or decry their games ever again. He honored his agreement by appearing on CNN to publicly comment on and decry the game.
But all was not lost. The Florida Bar Association, moved by Thompson's quest for public decency, did their part in bringing it about. They permanently disbarred Jack Thompson due to his repeated violations of legal procedures and harassment of other attorneys and judges.
That's right: In the end, Jack Thompson was considered too sleazy to be a lawyer.