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Dear Gaf, im struggling.....

nush

Member
It's a date, just taking a lady out for dinner, I have no expectations apart from interaction and company, I'm not looking for a relationship or even a leg over, just getting back in the saddle.

Rookie modern dating mistake, one drink or a coffee date. Save that for date 2 if you click, otherwise it's going to get expensive and frustrating.
 

nush

Member
From what I understand it's shave everything these days. Become a living Ken doll.
 

nush

Member
Hmm ok , drive thru and some nuggets then

Then go and "Park", if she want's to jump on ur dick it don't matter what you do. You maybe don't know but these days women will deliver themselves to your home, have sex with you and take themselves back home without any dating involved at all. You don't even have to call or text them afterwards or pay for their taxis. Imagine that world we live in compared to how hard you had to work for it as a teenager. It's truly mind blowing.
 

INC

Member
Then go and "Park", if she want's to jump on ur dick it don't matter what you do. You maybe don't know but these days women will deliver themselves to your home, have sex with you and take themselves back home without any dating involved at all. You don't even have to call or text them afterwards or pay for their taxis. Imagine that world we live in compared to how hard you had to work for it as a teenager. It's truly mind blowing.

Honestly I prefer the latter.

But yeh ive taken your advice, and said let's just meet up first and see how it goes.
 

Liljagare

Member
to anyone reading this thread

the moral of the story is don't get married

its not worth it



Its like with this as it is with so many things. YMMW.

Been happily married for 25 years, and my marriage and the person I am married to have probarly saved my life, literarly, a half dozen times.

I think people knock marriage mainly because, they married the wrong one, imho.
 

Bragr

Member
A lot of girls, when they sense some sort of issue in their relationship, talk to their girlfriends and usually get the advice that they need to "think about themselves and their wellbeing, move on with your life, don't live with negativity" or some shit they got from a wall-mart poster. It's common that they make up their mind that they are gonna move past the relationship and stop talking to their partner because it's the best way to "heal".

This pattern of women ignoring the man completely and separating on a dime because they perceive that any conversation is hurtful is common. Of course, some guys do stuff like this too.

The partner that's left behind can get destroyed by stuff like this, it's an extremely cruel and selfish thing to do. It's the mark of immature idiots that live in a fantasy world.

I don't know what happened between you guys, but if she refuses to communicate and work through this like adults, she's a mean bitch and deserves none of your respect, and you should not give pause to people like that. If you read, find some books on the topic, it's always a good practice to read or listen to people who went through similar stuff.
 
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nush

Member
Its like with this as it is with so many things. YMMW.

Been happily married for 25 years, and my marriage and the person I am married to have probarly saved my life, literarly, a half dozen times.

I think people knock marriage mainly because, they married the wrong one, imho.
This is survivor bias.
 

Sosokrates

Member
I know this is a gaming forum, but sometimes faceless opinions help

So recently my wife left me, we had been together for nearly 20 years, and im finding it extremely difficult to move on.

What makes it worse is before she left, out relationship seems to of turned a corner and we were really starting to be extremely happy, our relationship seemed fun and loving, and then bam, she leaves.

Really struggling to cope, I've tried everything to be positive, and put a brave face on everything in life, but I really don't know how to move forward

On top of that, we have a dog, who is with me, but now due to my job, its looking like I may have to give him up as well, my job may also not be secure, so it feels like I've almost lost everything in the space of a month, when a month ago I thought my life had finally started to all fit into place.

People say i just need time, which i understand, but I'm the wrong side of 35, and not sure what my future even holds. I've had moments of weakness where I've had to watched because they feared for my safety.

I know I'm a piss taker on here, and generally try to have a laugh and not take shit seriously. But I'm at a massive cross roads in my life, and i feel completely lost

Feel free to rinse me, its all good, but I genuinely don't know what to do, or where to turn.

Ps: yeh yeh its a gaming forum, but sometimes being anonymous and hearing a detached opinion can help u see shit for a different PoV

I'm really lost

Do something that makes you genuinely fear for your life, that will give you new perspective, it does not last to long though before old attitudes/habbits re-emerge though.
 

TheInfamousKira

Reseterror Resettler
Do something that makes you genuinely fear for your life, that will give you new perspective, it does not last to long though before old attitudes/habbits re-emerge though.

Exhibit A for not listening to, following, or seeking advice online, should it please the court.

Then again, I almost linked "I Hate Myself And Want To Die," by Nirvana in the uplifting songs thread, so carry on.
 

Rickyiez

Member
Why would someone rinse you, shit happens. Not asking you to delve into religion but Buddhism teachings as a philosophy may helps in letting things go as nothing last forever. If you don't mind about it you can search for some articles and read into it, no harm, because this helped me coped with my losses back then.
 
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6502

Member
Sorry man.

But on the flip side, it can't get any worse. Muddle through as best you can for the next few months. Don't stress about having a plan or achieving anything. Just get through the grief and make sure you are still functioning as well as you can. When you feel you can address address your situation from a better position, you will be ready to start making changes. Until then, don't force yourself to do anything drastic.
 

Jsisto

Member
Best of luck to you, man. I divorced a few years ago and it was soul wrenching, but the time alone, while horrible at first, turned out to be very freeing and was able to do a lot of self improvement. At 35 next month, I’m in the best physical shape of my life and relatively healthy. At the point where I want to start dating again, but I’m also 5 foot 3, so we’ll see how that shit goes lol.
 

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
Best of luck to you, man. I divorced a few years ago and it was soul wrenching, but the time alone, while horrible at first, turned out to be very freeing and was able to do a lot of self improvement. At 35 next month, I’m in the best physical shape of my life and relatively healthy. At the point where I want to start dating again, but I’m also 5 foot 3, so we’ll see how that shit goes lol.
Short can def be a struggle with some chicks. I've a mate who is around 5'5" and somehow has 3 or 4 part-time girlfriends. From my own experience, making girls laugh is a huge thing for them. I hope you've a good sense of humor.
 

INC

Member
Little update

I've turned the worst negative in my life into a massive positive, thought fuck it, im going to be the positive energy to everyone around me, and its come back in truck loads

Had some potential life changing news because of it, and means I could achieve one of dreams, which tbh I never thought would happen, but an idol of mine reached out to me, and I have a foot in the door to where I wanna be

All my relationships with my family and friends has done nothing but grow and my social life is better than ever

It was fight or flight and I chose

You can turn your life around, it was reading back through these messages as well that made me realise that its not all me, and I wanna be the change in peolles lives I care about

So yeh in a awesome place atm
 

Jsisto

Member
Just don't put that in your dating profile.

Give a woman a pice of chalk and a wall and ask her to draw a line that's at 6FT. They won't be able to do it with any accuracy. 6FT to them means "Just taller than me".
I get your point but honestly at this point in my life I have little interest in anyone who it would be an issue for. And it’s more like 5 foot 3 and a half…so you round that up to 5 foot four and that’s before you even factor in wearing my timbs so now we’re at the point where I could reasonably claim I’m 5 foot 5.
 

nush

Member
I get your point but honestly at this point in my life I have little interest in anyone who it would be an issue for. And it’s more like 5 foot 3 and a half…so you round that up to 5 foot four and that’s before you even factor in wearing my timbs so now we’re at the point where I could reasonably claim I’m 5 foot 5.
I'm 5.8, It's the same shit my man. Even if you could reach my height there's no difference. Focus on your goals and then the height does not matter when you get there.
 

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
Little update

I've turned the worst negative in my life into a massive positive, thought fuck it, im going to be the positive energy to everyone around me, and its come back in truck loads

Had some potential life changing news because of it, and means I could achieve one of dreams, which tbh I never thought would happen, but an idol of mine reached out to me, and I have a foot in the door to where I wanna be

All my relationships with my family and friends has done nothing but grow and my social life is better than ever

It was fight or flight and I chose

You can turn your life around, it was reading back through these messages as well that made me realise that its not all me, and I wanna be the change in peolles lives I care about

So yeh in a awesome place atm
Robert Redford Nod GIF
 

nush

Member
Little update

I've turned the worst negative in my life into a massive positive, thought fuck it, im going to be the positive energy to everyone around me, and its come back in truck loads

Had some potential life changing news because of it, and means I could achieve one of dreams, which tbh I never thought would happen, but an idol of mine reached out to me, and I have a foot in the door to where I wanna be

All my relationships with my family and friends has done nothing but grow and my social life is better than ever

It was fight or flight and I chose

You can turn your life around, it was reading back through these messages as well that made me realise that its not all me, and I wanna be the change in peolles lives I care about

So yeh in a awesome place atm

Take a deep breath, you're on the rebound. Hold those positives and ground yourself but still keep up what you are doing.
 

Star-Lord

Gold Member
Just don't put that in your dating profile.

Give a woman a pice of chalk and a wall and ask her to draw a line that's at 6FT. They won't be able to do it with any accuracy. 6FT to them means "Just taller than me".
Oh, how true that is, though I’ve never seen correlation between attractiveness and bodily measurements.
 

nush

Member
Oh, how true that is, though I’ve never seen correlation between attractiveness and bodily measurements.

It's the equivalent of men thinking BIG TITs are worth chasing as a relationship success goal. Without being called sexist or shallow.
 

Star-Lord

Gold Member
It's the equivalent of men thinking BIG TITs are worth chasing as a relationship success goal. Without being called sexist or shallow.
I just find the entire notion of it foreign to me. Breast size, butt size, dick size, foot size, tongue size, eye size - it’s all irrelevant if the person with these supposedly desirable qualities is a test with the personality of dog shit. But that’s just me.
 

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
I just find the entire notion of it foreign to me. Breast size, butt size, dick size, foot size, tongue size, eye size - it’s all irrelevant if the person with these supposedly desirable qualities is a test with the personality of dog shit. But that’s just me.
I don't personally care about breast size but she better have a huge hog or I'm not biting.

Jokes aside, everyone has their preferences when it comes to dating/relationships. Intelligence is far more important to me than breast size.
 

nush

Member
Little update

I've turned the worst negative in my life into a massive positive, thought fuck it, im going to be the positive energy to everyone around me, and its come back in truck loads

Had some potential life changing news because of it, and means I could achieve one of dreams, which tbh I never thought would happen, but an idol of mine reached out to me, and I have a foot in the door to where I wanna be

All my relationships with my family and friends has done nothing but grow and my social life is better than ever

It was fight or flight and I chose

You can turn your life around, it was reading back through these messages as well that made me realise that its not all me, and I wanna be the change in peolles lives I care about

So yeh in a awesome place atm
 

Star-Lord

Gold Member
I don't personally care about breast size but she better have a huge hog or I'm not biting.

Jokes aside, everyone has their preferences when it comes to dating/relationships. Intelligence is far more important to me than breast size.
I get people having preferences, it just astounds me when the greater part of society gets hooked on numbers and sizes being a make it or break it factor in sexual partners and/or partners.

I’m with you. I like to be with someone who can hold a conversation and be able to have a laugh.
 

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
I get people having preferences, it just astounds me when the greater part of society gets hooked on numbers and sizes being a make it or break it factor in sexual partners and/or partners.

I’m with you. I like to be with someone who can hold a conversation and be able to have a laugh.
Sex is hugely important to me in a relationship and sexual attraction is more important than intelligence. I could not be with someone longterm if I found them unattractive but pleasant to be around. In that case, I would most likely maintain a friendship.
 

Star-Lord

Gold Member
Sex is hugely important to me in a relationship and sexual attraction is more important than intelligence. I could not be with someone longterm if I found them unattractive but pleasant to be around. In that case, I would most likely maintain a friendship.
And that’s fair enough. Everybody is, as stated, entitled to their preferences. For me, personality trumps looks.
 
I get people having preferences, it just astounds me when the greater part of society gets hooked on numbers and sizes being a make it or break it factor in sexual partners and/or partners.

I’m with you. I like to be with someone who can hold a conversation and be able to have a laugh.

That sounds more like a mate than a bang maid.

If you've ever been with a super flat chested girl, you feel something is off.

Usually flat girls have really tight legs/ass, so you get into trade off territory
 
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Star-Lord

Gold Member
That sounds more like a mate than a bang maid.

If you've ever been with a super flat chested girl, you feel something is off.
I don’t do ‘bang maids’ or anything like that, so it doesn’t matter to me. I have been with a flat girl, before I went off sex, but I didn’t feel anything was off, apart from the fact I wasn’t enjoying it. But that wasn’t her, as I’ve been with larger-breasted girls and even men and I didn’t enjoy it with them, either.
 

highrider

Banned
Wrong side of 35 lol. And I don’t mean to make light of it I’ve been through divorce it’s like a death with kids, hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I hope things get better my man, for what it’s worth I feel like my 50s have been the prime of my professional and personal life after a maelstrom of shit. Take care of yourself and don’t fall in to physical disrepair as I call it lol, you’re prone to it in that state. Fitness and exercise are the most important things you can do right now. And maybe bong hits 👍
 
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chromhound

Gold Member
Little update

I've turned the worst negative in my life into a massive positive, thought fuck it, im going to be the positive energy to everyone around me, and its come back in truck loads

Had some potential life changing news because of it, and means I could achieve one of dreams, which tbh I never thought would happen, but an idol of mine reached out to me, and I have a foot in the door to where I wanna be

All my relationships with my family and friends has done nothing but grow and my social life is better than ever

It was fight or flight and I chose

You can turn your life around, it was reading back through these messages as well that made me realise that its not all me, and I wanna be the change in peolles lives I care about

So yeh in a awesome place atm
Did you eat ass yet ?
 

Mossybrew

Member
Wrong side of 35 lol. And I don’t mean to make light of it I’ve been through divorce it’s like a death with kids, hardest thing I’ve ever been through.


It is like a death. The death of who you thought you were, what you thought your life was. It is no easy thing.
 

highrider

Banned
It is like a death. The death of who you thought you were, what you thought your life was. It is no easy thing.

Yeah, I think for me it also kind of showed me how little our society values men. You are a drone meant to work, provide and die. If you break mentally or physically, you better hope you got a tight family that cares about you because nobody else will.
 

nush

Member
If you break mentally or physically, you better hope you got a tight family that cares about you because nobody else will.

You don't even need those, just losing your job through no fault of your own cutbacks/downsizing/restructuring is enough for some women to hit the ejector sat. Happened to me twice and talking with other men they know of men the same thing has happened to as well. God forbid she has to spend "her" money supporting you until you get another job.
 

INC

Member
INC INC So how did that date go?
Did you eat ass yet ?


Good tbh, and basically hahaha

Just a fun meet up tbh, nothing serious, felt weird to start but yeh, all good.

All the ex shit has now gone too, so one less thing to look at, and cam now move forward and start making my future and knuckle down with my music

Said it before, but everyone who posted on here or DM me, massive thank you, honestly helped me through some horrific shit and come out the other end a better person

So if anyone here needs advice or to vent, I'll always have an ear, some of you already have, and I hope I've helped in some small way

Cheers gaf, u beautiful cunts xx
 
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