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A woman at work never asks you non-work-related questions and generally shows no interest in having a reciprocal conversation. How do you respond?

GAMETA

Banned
Is it damaging your work in any way?

If it is, just be honest and go with the "Hey XXXXX, can I talk to you for a second?", "Is anything wrong? I mean, I feel like we're miscommunicating and it's taking a toll on the work... maybe we can find a way to make it work better for the both of us? What do you think?"


If it's not making the work harder, just let her be, man. I wouldn't ignore her or anything like, I'd treat her politely and all, but keep it strictly work related only.

Don't be a creep.
 

Giallo Corsa

Gold Member
OP's a massive creep he's rejected by women so much that he's internalized it as a woman problem not an "I'm a creepy guy" problem and maybe I should look at my own behaviour. The first thing he describes to us about her is

"She's single and a few years older than you (late 30s). She's from a cultural background where she would be regarded as being “on the shelf”. Looks-wise she's unlikely to turn heads instantly, but she is not ugly."

Really? That's relevant to being friendly with a coworker how? It's not. He thinks because he's Asian and a 30 year old "Leftover man" that he somehow deserves a shot. She wants nothing to do with this "New guy" and being the mature stable guy he is he's now not even giving her basic pleasantries to her as "Punishment".

got fed up with the way things were and recently decided to say fuck it and minimized my contact with this woman. I no longer say hello or bye when leaving. I make no attempts to start conversations and keep communications work-related (which almost never happens at the moment). I don't even look at her unless I absolutely have to speak to her.

This is the mindset of a 30 year old new guy just trying to be "Friendly"with a coworker, if you were a woman would you feel comfortable being friends with this or think "Thank fuck I dodged a bullet"

This is why your single OP, becuse you're a massive ball of bitterness that takes it out on any woman that "Rejects"you. Incel Creep.

You know what falls into the "incel creep" category ? Your post.
Shit man, you're spending so much energy on "blasting" another fellow member and accusing him for being a "creep" with internet psychology 101 and for what ? Do you gain any satisfaction from it ?Also : you're doing the exact same thing as the person you're accusing of, that is, being a massive "creep" - double standards and all that my man ;)

Jesus Christ there are so many miserable users in here, always dissatisfied, always angry, always judging others, how the fuck can you people actually live in the "real world®" without getting "triggered" by other people's opinions every couple of seconds ? I mean, God damn, it's actually amazing, absolutely zero fucking self-awareness ... :D
 

Peggies

Gold Member
You know what falls into the "incel creep" category ? Your post.
Shit man, you're spending so much energy on "blasting" another fellow member and accusing him for being a "creep" with internet psychology 101 and for what ? Do you gain any satisfaction from it ?Also : you're doing the exact same thing as the person you're accusing of, that is, being a massive "creep" - double standards and all that my man ;)

Jesus Christ there are so many miserable users in here, always dissatisfied, always angry, always judging others, how the fuck can you people actually live in the "real world®" without getting "triggered" by other people's opinions every couple of seconds ? I mean, God damn, it's actually amazing, absolutely zero fucking self-awareness ... :D
emma roberts pilot GIF by ScreamQueens


Anyway, is OP even still with us? The thread is quite old.
 

fatty

Member
I just read this whole thread wondering what the big update was going to be. Disappointment-ton

Well I got to the part where said he wasn't going to post anymore and was like ah shit its just going to be some shitpost

Yeah, same thing for me.

Hey B Breakage , it’s been about a year. How about giving us an update? I’d like to know how it turned out.
 
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S

Sidney Prescott

Unconfirmed Member
If there's no interest there, I generally put a stop to it pretty fast. That is assuming I even approach the person in the first place. No use trying to force something that isn't there.
 

Pagusas

Elden Member
The impression I get is she probably thinks you see her as a dating opertunity and she's throwing up every wall possible with a bright blinking sign of "not interested" even if thats not your intent. If someone isnt interested in you at all, your prying questions can just make you look like a creepy stalker dude (again, even if that inst the intent)
 

nush

Member
You know what falls into the "incel creep" category ? Your post.
Shit man, you're spending so much energy on "blasting" another fellow member and accusing him for being a "creep" with internet psychology 101 and for what ? Do you gain any satisfaction from it ?Also : you're doing the exact same thing as the person you're accusing of, that is, being a massive "creep" - double standards and all that my man ;)

Jesus Christ there are so many miserable users in here, always dissatisfied, always angry, always judging others, how the fuck can you people actually live in the "real world®" without getting "triggered" by other people's opinions every couple of seconds ? I mean, God damn, it's actually amazing, absolutely zero fucking self-awareness ... :D

LOL, looks like I've triggered another incel. Judging by this guys start date of just 10 days ago I'm putting good money down it's OP's ALT, he also liked the "No U!" responses to being called out.

BQhU5Pa.gif
 

fatty

Member
Jesus Christ there are so many miserable users in here, always dissatisfied, always angry, always judging others, how the fuck can you people actually live in the "real world®" without getting "triggered" by other people's opinions every couple of seconds ? I mean, God damn, it's actually amazing, absolutely zero fucking self-awareness ... :D
DDtMeDB.jpg
 

Mossybrew

Member
You lost me at the very beginning with "naturally you try to find out more about your coworkers etc" and I stopped reading right there because youre one of those people and I cant relate. No I dont care to learn anything about my coworkers beyond the confines of doing our jobs, sorry dont give a shit about what your kids are doing or what you do or dont like to eat etc etc just please shut the fuck up.
 

Giallo Corsa

Gold Member
LOL, looks like I've triggered another incel. Judging by this guys start date of just 10 days ago I'm putting good money down it's OP's ALT, he also liked the "No U!" responses to being called out.

BQhU5Pa.gif

Man, kids today, "incel", "likes", gifs etc etc, a generation of Muppets brought up on internet forums with their fucking lingo where everything's a meme, again, how the fuck can you even breath man in the real world without getting "triggered" every couple of secs ? You could make a career out of being outraged all the time, again, zero self-awareness, it's actually amazing ;)

Hope mommy knows you're using a computer
 

nush

Member
Man, kids today, "incel", "likes", gifs etc etc, a generation of Muppets brought up on internet forums with their fucking lingo where everything's a meme, again, how the fuck can you even breath man in the real world without getting "triggered" every couple of secs ? You could make a career out of being outraged all the time, again, zero self-awareness, it's actually amazing ;)

Hope mommy knows you're using a computer

What's a muppet?
 
You know what falls into the "incel creep" category ? Your post.
Shit man, you're spending so much energy on "blasting" another fellow member and accusing him for being a "creep" with internet psychology 101 and for what ? Do you gain any satisfaction from it ?Also : you're doing the exact same thing as the person you're accusing of, that is, being a massive "creep" - double standards and all that my man ;)

Jesus Christ there are so many miserable users in here, always dissatisfied, always angry, always judging others, how the fuck can you people actually live in the "real world®" without getting "triggered" by other people's opinions every couple of seconds ? I mean, God damn, it's actually amazing, absolutely zero fucking self-awareness ... :D
I get what you're saying, but come on. It's not like this is the Politics forum(which you should ignore). That place will make you wonder if some of these people even interact with others outside of their own family members that have just learned to tolerate them.
 

Ownage

Member
I've seen this type time and time again in the workplace. Most workplaces have some form of toxic employee. Be glad you're junior and not the boss you spoke with. They and their bosses have huge arrows on their backs.

These awful creatures you encounter at work are looking for a fight. This is common. Ignore them and do your job. Let some other schmuck be team lead. Collect your pay and benefits. Keep all personal emotions and friendships far from work.

Every paycheck is a victory.
 

TheContact

Member
Best advice I can give is each person is different, you’re speculating as to why she’s short with you as you mention, and don’t take office drama too personally. Focus on your job, be friendly to everyone, don’t always expect friendliness back. Keys to success
 

Peggies

Gold Member
Man, kids today, "incel", "likes", gifs etc etc, a generation of Muppets brought up on internet forums with their fucking lingo where everything's a meme, again, how the fuck can you even breath man in the real world without getting "triggered" every couple of secs ? You could make a career out of being outraged all the time, again, zero self-awareness, it's actually amazing ;)

Hope mommy knows you're using a computer
Shocked Paul Rudd GIF

You sound cringey.
 

Giallo Corsa

Gold Member
Shocked Paul Rudd GIF

You sound cringey.

I mean, i get it, you and your girlfriend Noosh have to be occupied with something, right ? Especially now with the Covid and everything, you must be bored out of your Goddamned minds friends.
Tell you what, if you reply with a gif and/or meme once more all will be forgiven, apparently you're pretty good at it being teenagers and everything, bet this shit makes you hard

PS : them double standards again, it's been what, 4 days and you still keep 'em coming - talking about being "creeps" and "cringey", God damn, absolutely zero self-awareness, it's actually fucking amazing, "rules for thee but not for me" ;)
 

Peggies

Gold Member
I mean, i get it, you and your girlfriend Noosh have to be occupied with something, right ? Especially now with the Covid and everything, you must be bored out of your Goddamned minds friends.
Tell you what, if you reply with a gif and/or meme once more all will be forgiven, apparently you're pretty good at it being teenagers and everything, bet this shit makes you hard

PS : them double standards again, it's been what, 4 days and you still keep 'em coming - talking about being "creeps" and "cringey", God damn, absolutely zero self-awareness, it's actually fucking amazing, "rules for thee but not for me" ;)
worse life GIF
 

nush

Member
I mean, i get it, you and your girlfriend Noosh have to be occupied with something, right ? Especially now with the Covid and everything, you must be bored out of your Goddamned minds friends.
Tell you what, if you reply with a gif and/or meme once more all will be forgiven, apparently you're pretty good at it being teenagers and everything, bet this shit makes you hard

PS : them double standards again, it's been what, 4 days and you still keep 'em coming - talking about being "creeps" and "cringey", God damn, absolutely zero self-awareness, it's actually fucking amazing, "rules for thee but not for me" ;)
192a8f5d3cadc58a32636eb6e6f6b24a.gif


Peggies Peggies don't you hate getting misgendered?
 
Man, kids today, "incel", "likes", gifs etc etc, a generation of Muppets brought up on internet forums with their fucking lingo where everything's a meme, again, how the fuck can you even breath man in the real world without getting "triggered" every couple of secs ? You could make a career out of being outraged all the time, again, zero self-awareness, it's actually amazing ;)

Hope mommy knows you're using a computer

 
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RJMacready73

Simps for Amouranth
You don't have to be super friendly to everyone, you're adults you're there to work and get through the day with the least amount of shit, small chit chat is fine but if she's not interested move on, stop viewing it as there's something wrong, she clearly doesn't like you or she doesn't like you enquiring about her shit either way, stop it and let her get on with her shit and simply go about your day professionally and keep all interactions with this woman professional and above board.. your comments about her looks also says plenty to me tbh
 

Lunarorbit

Member
Serious question, do people not introduce themselves to you at work?

Started a new job in January and there are alot of people to meet. I'm usually good about being friendly but I've had several coworkers, men and women, just totally gloss over introducing themselves and just start asking me to help them with x, y, or z.

Really weird
 

CAB_Life

Member
Why does this woman need to be your friend? Why the qualifier that she's kinda homely as if that necessitates that she should be reciprocal to your attempts at conversation? You're seeing this entirely through a personal and subjective lens when in reality you're both there to do a job not to become either bffs or star-crossed lovers.
 

GHG

Member
Serious question, do people not introduce themselves to you at work?

Started a new job in January and there are alot of people to meet. I'm usually good about being friendly but I've had several coworkers, men and women, just totally gloss over introducing themselves and just start asking me to help them with x, y, or z.

Really weird

Depends on the company.

What you described tends to happen in companies where people come and go quite frequently (or in relatively stable companies where there are notorious poisoned chalice positions where the person in those roles never tend to last long). Over time people realise there's no point in making an effort due to the transient nature of the company.

Either that or there's something about you that's putting people off from even doing the basics.
 

TGO

Hype Train conductor. Works harder than it steams.
Maybe she just doesn't give a shit?
Now if she asked a lot of personal questions and never answers yours, then that would be different
 
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