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Embarrassment Is the Worst Emotion

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Honestly, after all this mention of church elders and thinking that God's prophets walk the Earth - the OP and his hairy naked anus shouldn't be the ones embarrassed.
 
I saw this thread yesterday but wasn't interested to click on it, until I saw it linked to in the icloud hack thread...

Wow, one of the funniest OPs ever. Kudos man.

I don't even feel sorry for you OP, because that implies that I wish this didn't happen to you, but it makes me happy to know that this actually happened somewhere in the universe because it's glorious.
 
Sorry that I didn't respond last night. Was pretty drained and just went to bed, and right now I'm a bit busy, so I'll try to provide an update some time later today. I will say that it was pretty rough and that I wish last night went down completely differently. Oh well. At least it's over with for now. Still got to deal with relationship issues for a while longer but I think the worst of it all has passed.
 
Letterbomb said:
Sorry that I didn't respond last night. Was pretty drained and just went to bed, and right now I'm a bit busy, so I'll try to provide an update some time later today. I will say that it was pretty rough and that I wish last night went down completely differently. Oh well. At least it's over with for now. Still got to deal with relationship issues for a while longer but I think the worst of it all has passed.
Click to expand...

Ok now I feel sorry.... hope things get better soon for you dude.

PS. Hairy asses are the best.
 
Does anyone else on gaf have stairs? I would love to see one of those TV re-enactments of this event.

GAF-TV Presents: Ass On The Rails!
 
I realize it's on page 8 already, but I came in here to say that embarrassment is only the second worst emotion. I think that regret is the worst.
 
Letterbomb said:
She's sought advice for less so I really can't put this one past her. She's extremely, extremely devoted to her religion and takes it more than just seriously. She's still a fungoing person who's kind in general--her cussing was definitely out of character--but the word of God will take precedence in any sort of circumstance. Her particular denomination also believes in modern day prophets/messengers, so the elders who have been ordained basically are offering the Holy Spirit's own instructions. That's what I think her thought process is anyway.
Click to expand...

you realize you have a perfect out now?
 
Damn, I shouldn't be laughing. Could be worse though, OP! At least everything is getting better.
 
BlackBuzzard said:
Well we already had crazy buttocks on a train we can now add crazy buttocks on a rail.
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
 
Okay, here to give you guys what I think will be the final update. Of course I can't give you the conversation verbatim, but I'll paraphrase to the best of my ability. So my girlfriend and I got home around 9:00 PM after dinner, and her parents were already sitting in the living room. They didn't have the T.V. on or anything, they were just sitting on the couch. First thing they say they direct to Jordan: "Where were you?" Jordan told them we were out eating. "Right, well we've been waiting for quite a while." We made a simple apology and then they got quiet. "Okay, well why don't you guys take a seat." So we do.

"Before I start," (this is the mom talking), "let me just say that we love you guys and want what's best for you. Evan, you're like a son to us, and when we see you doing something we know you shouldn't, we feel obligated to correct you like your own parents would." I'll stop real quick to reaffirm: Yes, I am 20 years old, and yes, my girlfriend is 21. I wasn't about to pipe up about being an adult and blah dee dah, cause I really didn't want to worsen the situation. We both just kept our mouths shut for the most part and listened. "We need to address the obvious issue here that you guys having premarital sex is not okay." I'll shorten this point up, cause a lot of it was scripture references and yadda yadda. Bottom line was that she was extremely against it and doesn't want it going on. She said if she ever found us having sex that I wouldn't be invited over anymore.

After the whole sex bit, she kind of focused toward me. "Jordan told me that what you were doing was some sort of joke, and although I find that hard to believe, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. That said, there are two major issues here, Evan. The first: your body is your temple. Even if you were making some sort of joke, that kind of humor is not right in the eyes of God. It's crude and shows you are ungrateful for the body you've been given. I heard Maddie talking to her friends on the phone about what happened and laughing, and I felt so embarrassed for you. Don't you feel embarrassed? This isn't how you should be treating yourself." Stopping again to say that this was probably the lowest point of the night. I didn't get the feeling that she was intentionally trying to make me feel like shit, but more so that she thought I was proud of what I've done and wanted to demonstrate how it's not a thing to be proud of. Like I didn't already fucking know that. I wanted to scream, but I mustered through. Oh and Maddie is Jordan's sister.

"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted."

So after I was off the spotlight, the dad piped in a bit after getting a signaling glance from the mom. I could sort of tell that he wasn't as bothered in general by this but was rather making sure he was supporting his wife. "Listen, guys, trust takes a long time to build, but it takes only a few seconds--as we've seen--to crumble over. You've lost a bit of our trust, and you're gonna have to work on regaining that. We still respect you and hope you respect us, but, yeah, we're going to have to set up some boundaries and whatnot." After all of this I apologized again for the whole situation and we got up and shared an awkward round of hugs. After that her mom went up to bed, but the dad asked to talk to me alone for a bit outside. I thought he was going to threaten me or something, but this was probably the most encouraging part of the night: "Listen, I was young once too, and although I can't say I've done anything comparable to that display the other night, I just wanted to say that I get it. I know that you and Jordan will still have sex--I trust not in my home--but I just wanted to say that, at the very least, I hope you're doing it because you genuinely love each other and for no other reason. Okay kid? Be safe with her and don't let us know any further part about it." Really cool guy.

After that, Jordan and I went back to my apartment and had some quasi-rebellious sex. And that's my story, GAF. Still feel completely ruined, but at least there was something to salvage out of the situation. Still have my girl with me and we should do just fine. Just gonna be tough at family get-togethers from here on out, but I'll take the trade.
 
Oh man, thanks for the update. I feel your pain and kind of understand how you must have felt at the moment, it's good that you nodded along the whole thing instead of trying to argue. Smart man.
 
Letterbomb said:
I thought he was going to threaten me or something, but this was probably the most encouraging part of the night: "Listen, I was young once too, and although I can't say I've done anything comparable to that display the other night, I just wanted to say that I get it. I know that you and Jordan will still have sex--I trust not in my home--but I just wanted to say that, at the very least, I hope you're doing it because you genuinely love each other and for no other reason. Okay kid? Be safe with her and don't let us know any further part about it." Really cool guy.
Click to expand...

yep, he is, I expected far worse from people who seek counsel from religious elders. in a way I think thats at least something positive you can take away from that incident because you know now you can be lucky to have inlaws like those.
 
Letterbomb said:
"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted.".
Click to expand...

Quite fucking literally.
 
Letterbomb said:
Okay, here to give you guys what I think will be the final update. Of course I can't give you the conversation verbatim, but I'll paraphrase to the best of my ability. So my girlfriend and I got home around 9:00 PM after dinner, and her parents were already sitting in the living room. They didn't have the T.V. on or anything, they were just sitting on the couch. First thing they say they direct to Jordan: "Where were you?" Jordan told them we were out eating. "Right, well we've been waiting for quite a while." We made a simple apology and then they got quiet. "Okay, well why don't you guys take a seat." So we do.

"Before I start," (this is the mom talking), "let me just say that we love you guys and want what's best for you. Evan, you're like a son to us, and when we see you doing something we know you shouldn't, we feel obligated to correct you like your own parents would." I'll stop real quick to reaffirm: Yes, I am 20 years old, and yes, my girlfriend is 21. I wasn't about to pipe up about being an adult and blah dee dah, cause I really didn't want to worsen the situation. We both just kept our mouths shut for the most part and listened. "We need to address the obvious issue here that you guys having premarital sex is not okay." I'll shorten this point up, cause a lot of it was scripture references and yadda yadda. Bottom line was that she was extremely against it and doesn't want it going on. She said if she ever found us having sex that I wouldn't be invited over anymore.

After the whole sex bit, she kind of focused toward me. "Jordan told me that what you were doing was some sort of joke, and although I find that hard to believe, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. That said, there are two major issues here, Evan. The first: your body is your temple. Even if you were making some sort of joke, that kind of humor is not right in the eyes of God. It's crude and shows you are ungrateful for the body you've been given. I heard Maddie talking to her friends on the phone about what happened and laughing, and I felt so embarrassed for you. Don't you feel embarrassed? This isn't how you should be treating yourself." Stopping again to say that this was probably the lowest point of the night. I didn't get the feeling that she was intentionally trying to make me feel like shit, but more so that she thought I was proud of what I've done and wanted to demonstrate how it's not a thing to be proud of. Like I didn't already fucking know that. I wanted to scream, but I mustered through. Oh and Maddie is Jordan's sister.

"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted."

So after I was off the spotlight, the dad piped in a bit after getting a signaling glance from the mom. I could sort of tell that he wasn't as bothered in general by this but was rather making sure he was supporting his wife. "Listen, guys, trust takes a long time to build, but it takes only a few seconds--as we've seen--to crumble over. You've lost a bit of our trust, and you're gonna have to work on regaining that. We still respect you and hope you respect us, but, yeah, we're going to have to set up some boundaries and whatnot." After all of this I apologized again for the whole situation and we got up and shared an awkward round of hugs. After that her mom went up to bed, but the dad asked to talk to me alone for a bit outside. I thought he was going to threaten me or something, but this was probably the most encouraging part of the night: "Listen, I was young once too, and although I can't say I've done anything comparable to that display the other night, I just wanted to say that I get it. I know that you and Jordan will still have sex--I trust not in my home--but I just wanted to say that, at the very least, I hope you're doing it because you genuinely love each other and for no other reason. Okay kid? Be safe with her and don't let us know any further part about it." Really cool guy.

After that, Jordan and I went back to my apartment and had some quasi-rebellious sex. And that's my story, GAF. Still feel completely ruined, but at least there was something to salvage out of the situation. Still have my girl with me and we should do just fine. Just gonna be tough at family get-togethers from here on out, but I'll take the trade.
Click to expand...

Damn her mother wasn't having any, but yeah bro is time to grow up. (or do that stuff in a locked room)

I'm glad you guys are still together.
 
Moff said:
yep, he is, I expected far worse from people who seek counsel from religious elders. in a way I think thats at least something positive you can take away from that incident because you know now you can be lucky to have inlaws like those.
Click to expand...
I'm not religious at all, but I agree with this a lot. I can understand where both parents are coming from (minus needing the elders' advice). This was a hilarious situation for us to read but it would have been a really huge deal if it happened in my own family.

I'm also happy to hear that the mom disinfected the ballknob and stuff. I hope she used some heavy duty stuff.
Sorry OP.
 
Letterbomb said:
Okay, here to give you guys what I think will be the final update. Of course I can't give you the conversation verbatim, but I'll paraphrase to the best of my ability. So my girlfriend and I got home around 9:00 PM after dinner, and her parents were already sitting in the living room. They didn't have the T.V. on or anything, they were just sitting on the couch. First thing they say they direct to Jordan: "Where were you?" Jordan told them we were out eating. "Right, well we've been waiting for quite a while." We made a simple apology and then they got quiet. "Okay, well why don't you guys take a seat." So we do.

"Before I start," (this is the mom talking), "let me just say that we love you guys and want what's best for you. Evan, you're like a son to us, and when we see you doing something we know you shouldn't, we feel obligated to correct you like your own parents would." I'll stop real quick to reaffirm: Yes, I am 20 years old, and yes, my girlfriend is 21. I wasn't about to pipe up about being an adult and blah dee dah, cause I really didn't want to worsen the situation. We both just kept our mouths shut for the most part and listened. "We need to address the obvious issue here that you guys having premarital sex is not okay." I'll shorten this point up, cause a lot of it was scripture references and yadda yadda. Bottom line was that she was extremely against it and doesn't want it going on. She said if she ever found us having sex that I wouldn't be invited over anymore.

After the whole sex bit, she kind of focused toward me. "Jordan told me that what you were doing was some sort of joke, and although I find that hard to believe, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. That said, there are two major issues here, Evan. The first: your body is your temple. Even if you were making some sort of joke, that kind of humor is not right in the eyes of God. It's crude and shows you are ungrateful for the body you've been given. I heard Maddie talking to her friends on the phone about what happened and laughing, and I felt so embarrassed for you. Don't you feel embarrassed? This isn't how you should be treating yourself." Stopping again to say that this was probably the lowest point of the night. I didn't get the feeling that she was intentionally trying to make me feel like shit, but more so that she thought I was proud of what I've done and wanted to demonstrate how it's not a thing to be proud of. Like I didn't already fucking know that. I wanted to scream, but I mustered through. Oh and Maddie is Jordan's sister.

"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted."

So after I was off the spotlight, the dad piped in a bit after getting a signaling glance from the mom. I could sort of tell that he wasn't as bothered in general by this but was rather making sure he was supporting his wife. "Listen, guys, trust takes a long time to build, but it takes only a few seconds--as we've seen--to crumble over. You've lost a bit of our trust, and you're gonna have to work on regaining that. We still respect you and hope you respect us, but, yeah, we're going to have to set up some boundaries and whatnot." After all of this I apologized again for the whole situation and we got up and shared an awkward round of hugs. After that her mom went up to bed, but the dad asked to talk to me alone for a bit outside. I thought he was going to threaten me or something, but this was probably the most encouraging part of the night: "Listen, I was young once too, and although I can't say I've done anything comparable to that display the other night, I just wanted to say that I get it. I know that you and Jordan will still have sex--I trust not in my home--but I just wanted to say that, at the very least, I hope you're doing it because you genuinely love each other and for no other reason. Okay kid? Be safe with her and don't let us know any further part about it." Really cool guy.

After that, Jordan and I went back to my apartment and had some quasi-rebellious sex. And that's my story, GAF. Still feel completely ruined, but at least there was something to salvage out of the situation. Still have my girl with me and we should do just fine. Just gonna be tough at family get-togethers from here on out, but I'll take the trade.
Click to expand...

Good ending.
 
Letterbomb said:
"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted."
Click to expand...

I'm really happy this turned out OK for you, but if you were able to not laugh when she said the bolded you're a stronger man than me.
 
I cant think of OPs situation without imagining him being Matt Berry in character as Douglas Reynholm from the IT Crowd

Anyone who knows who he is, imagine him in that situation
 
Being the dad I would have made it clear that I was waiting November 30th (your 21st birthday) to make a living exemple of your ass for the daughters.

It could have been way worse. You're lucky OP, cause that was some seriously dumb shit to do in your GF's parents house.
 
All the religious stuff would have bugged me, but really they all seem to be surprisingly understanding. You're a lucky dude. Now just don't do any more dumb shit.
 
Dude, your entire life may have just been an excuse to provide most of us with a story we can tell ourselves when we get embarrassed. "This is bad, but nothing like what happened to......."
I am honestly glad it turned out all right, as right as it possibly could have gone considering the situation.
Suddenly I feel sad for the dad. He's clearly married to a very uptight person.
 
malingenie said:
Dude, your entire life may have just been an excuse to provide most of us with a story we can tell ourselves when we get embarrassed. "This is bad, but nothing like what happened to......."
Click to expand...

Psalms 55:22
"[Compare] thy burden unto [Letterbomb] and he will sustain thee; he will not allow [those smarter than he] to be shaken."

FantasticMrFoxdie said:
Thanks to those who linked the TIFU reddit. lololol

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2f8epb/tifu_by_letting_my_family_find_out_about_the/
Click to expand...

Lol that's hilarious! GAF introduced me to TIFU too. I actually shared my story with them per GAF's request. They seemed to get a kick out of it.
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
Click to expand...

As a writer, it's after reading all of this where my level of belief in your story begins to wane. It's a bit too methodical in the wording.

No offence.
 
SolidChamp said:
As a writer, it's after reading all of this where my level of belief in your story begins to wane. It's a bit too methodical in the wording.

No offence.
Click to expand...

Come on guys, lol, of course it's hilarious fiction... Nobody would write "My heart sank and I could almost feel my butthole swallow the ballknob as it cringed." otherwise...
 
Letterbomb said:
Okay, here to give you guys what I think will be the final update. Of course I can't give you the conversation verbatim, but I'll paraphrase to the best of my ability. So my girlfriend and I got home around 9:00 PM after dinner, and her parents were already sitting in the living room. They didn't have the T.V. on or anything, they were just sitting on the couch. First thing they say they direct to Jordan: "Where were you?" Jordan told them we were out eating. "Right, well we've been waiting for quite a while." We made a simple apology and then they got quiet. "Okay, well why don't you guys take a seat." So we do.

"Before I start," (this is the mom talking), "let me just say that we love you guys and want what's best for you. Evan, you're like a son to us, and when we see you doing something we know you shouldn't, we feel obligated to correct you like your own parents would." I'll stop real quick to reaffirm: Yes, I am 20 years old, and yes, my girlfriend is 21. I wasn't about to pipe up about being an adult and blah dee dah, cause I really didn't want to worsen the situation. We both just kept our mouths shut for the most part and listened. "We need to address the obvious issue here that you guys having premarital sex is not okay." I'll shorten this point up, cause a lot of it was scripture references and yadda yadda. Bottom line was that she was extremely against it and doesn't want it going on. She said if she ever found us having sex that I wouldn't be invited over anymore.

After the whole sex bit, she kind of focused toward me. "Jordan told me that what you were doing was some sort of joke, and although I find that hard to believe, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. That said, there are two major issues here, Evan. The first: your body is your temple. Even if you were making some sort of joke, that kind of humor is not right in the eyes of God. It's crude and shows you are ungrateful for the body you've been given. I heard Maddie talking to her friends on the phone about what happened and laughing, and I felt so embarrassed for you. Don't you feel embarrassed? This isn't how you should be treating yourself." Stopping again to say that this was probably the lowest point of the night. I didn't get the feeling that she was intentionally trying to make me feel like shit, but more so that she thought I was proud of what I've done and wanted to demonstrate how it's not a thing to be proud of. Like I didn't already fucking know that. I wanted to scream, but I mustered through. Oh and Maddie is Jordan's sister.

"The second: what you did, removing any religious connotation, was flat out disrespectful. I just don't understand why you would do something like that. I was seriously disgusted--we all were--and we seriously didn't find it funny." (I wasn't about to bring up Maddie's laughter at this moment. A rather blatant contradiction to what she just said, but I understood she was trying to make a point.) "I felt compelled to clean not only the stairs but also vacuum the carpets and dust around the house. It was that gross to me. I felt like our house somehow has been tainted."

So after I was off the spotlight, the dad piped in a bit after getting a signaling glance from the mom. I could sort of tell that he wasn't as bothered in general by this but was rather making sure he was supporting his wife. "Listen, guys, trust takes a long time to build, but it takes only a few seconds--as we've seen--to crumble over. You've lost a bit of our trust, and you're gonna have to work on regaining that. We still respect you and hope you respect us, but, yeah, we're going to have to set up some boundaries and whatnot." After all of this I apologized again for the whole situation and we got up and shared an awkward round of hugs. After that her mom went up to bed, but the dad asked to talk to me alone for a bit outside. I thought he was going to threaten me or something, but this was probably the most encouraging part of the night: "Listen, I was young once too, and although I can't say I've done anything comparable to that display the other night, I just wanted to say that I get it. I know that you and Jordan will still have sex--I trust not in my home--but I just wanted to say that, at the very least, I hope you're doing it because you genuinely love each other and for no other reason. Okay kid? Be safe with her and don't let us know any further part about it." Really cool guy.

After that, Jordan and I went back to my apartment and had some quasi-rebellious sex. And that's my story, GAF. Still feel completely ruined, but at least there was something to salvage out of the situation. Still have my girl with me and we should do just fine. Just gonna be tough at family get-togethers from here on out, but I'll take the trade.
Click to expand...

Why didnt u even argue back? If theyre religious you just showed her you aint a man taking that quiet.
 
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