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Embarrassment Is the Worst Emotion

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SegaShack said:
I don't even think your girlfriend would laugh if it was only her who came in. What you did is just fucked up, probably would've weirded her out, regardless of intentions. Was she just supposed to see you with the stairs up your ass and get turned on? What were you thinking?
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Girlfriend's Mum is here!

I would love to hear the conversation the family had after you'd left.
 
Of course her parents had to be the very religious kind. Too bad, OP.

In a normal family everyone would just get a good laugh out of this (after explaining, of course).
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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cheers op

please keep us informed please :)
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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Good luck OP. Hope you weather in the incoming storm of dealing with her parents (mother mostly from the sound of it) and possibly either a deacon or even pastor from the church this evening. I just hope for your sake they are less hellfire and brimstone and more compassion.
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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Looks like your gf has a nice family. After the initial shock, I'm pretty sure even the mother will laugh when she's alone with her husband. Don't worry, things will be fine.
 
Chiggs said:
Funny story, but seems made up.
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Se non è vero, è ben trovato.

ElTorro said:
zqugpt.gif
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Awesome.

Please OP, give us an update as the story continues to develop.

edit:

Letterbomb said:
After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation.
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I call a future intervention for you including the people from their church and your girlfriend's parents themselves.
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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Honestly, as rough as all this sounds, this seems like a pretty good outcome. Sounds like you've got a special girl on your hands, man.
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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"Church elders"?

Now you are making this shit up.
 
Letterbomb said:
Alright, I only have a minor update for now. Didn't get a text from my girlfriend until only a couple hours ago. She asked if I was home and let me know she was coming over after church. I sent back "OK love you babe", which I felt weird about cause it seemed forced or desperate, but I've kind of been freaking out that she thought the worst of me; all I could think was, She's coming over to break up. Well good news is she's not pissed at me, and she won't be leaving me or anything. She even agreed that she would have laughed if it was her who walked through the door. She is pissed at the situation in general and upset that I kind of messed things up with her parents, which I feel like shit for, but there's not much I can do about that except let it sit.

She came over to tell me that her and I will need to go talk with the parents. Her parents already had a little sit down with her this morning and confronted her about our having sex, which she owned up to. Guess her and I won't be allowed in the house alone from here on out. They didn't say anything about my spare key, but really, it's as good as null now. Her mom told her she was disappointed in the both of us and that she wanted to talk to us tonight. After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.

Her dad is less pissed than her mom. He was just more shocked I guess. As for her sister, Jordan only got to talk with her for a few minutes this morning, and they didn't really talk on the subject for long. Her sister just came in her room and asked, "Do you want to talk?" I guess my girlfriend was a little teared up after her talk with her parents. She just answered, "No, not really," and they hugged and then started getting ready for church. While Jordan was driving her and her sister to meet up with their parents at church, I guess her sister randomly started cracking up and asked, "So why did he do that?" She got the explanation, but I still won't be able to look her sister in the eyes for a while. And I guess that's all for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes with the parents.
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All these church references after showing your ass and yelling rimjob just make it all the better. Chin up man, can't go anywhere but up from here.
 
OP, just for my curiosity, how old are you and your gf? Because from the way her parents act it seems like you two aren't that old.
 
JambiBum said:
OP, just for my curiosity, how old are you and your gf? Because from the way her parents act it seems like you two aren't that old.
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Girlfriend is 21, I'm 20, and her sister is 19. Girlfriend's birthday was on the 16th this month. Mine is the 30th of November.

SolidusDave said:
Please tell me they actually told them this story in detail.
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Don't know exactly who or what they told. Really hope she just expressed concerns on non-marital sex. Regardless, pretty sure I'm going to stop going with them to church when they invite me from here on out. Well, if they invite me. I doubt they will.

akira28 said:
Mormons?
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Nope. They belong to just some Christian denomination that I don't remember the name of.
 
CrankyJay said:
Also very good choice.


Anyway, the reason I don't find this story believable is...

1. What are the chances the family comes home at the exact moment the GF is due home?
2. And that the GF was asked to stay late to work?
3. And that the OP didn't at least peek out the window to make sure it was his GF?
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That, and:

A really horrible event and hours later he was online describing it in deliberately hilarious fashion (with drawing).

Either way great story!
 
Letterbomb said:
Fuck me. I am dead today.

Girlfriend lives with her family still, but I've come to know her family and really love them. I hang out there all the time and periodically help her parents with their side business, so I was given a spare key to the place. Well, today their family went out to Temecula for wine tasting, and the plan was for them to stay in a hotel overnight so they could see a show close to there the next day. My girlfriend didn't go because she had work, and she was working till late. I decided I was going to surprise her when she got home with my bare ass naked self. See her and I usually make fun of those hilariously-not-so-sexy sexy poses that you often see in shows or movies, and when it's just her and I fooling around, sometimes we make that pose and exaggerate it as much as we can. We sort of made a contest out of who can outdo the last pose. So I had an idea for a good one. Well it seemed good.

First thing you see when you open her door is the staircase and the railings. The start of her railings has that ball sort of starting pillar, so I thought, what the fuck, it'd be hilarious if I balanced myself on the railings and rested my ass on the ball, pointing to the door. I have a really hairy ass that my girlfriend makes fun of, so I had the idea to spread the fuckers out to high heaven and put the hairy goodness on display. So I get to her place about fifteen minutes before she'd be home and wait for her. Pretty soon I hear the car pull up so I get in position. I drew a quick mock up for you guys to help the visuals. As soon as the knob turns I open wide, straining my neck in a weird ostrich-like way upward for whatever comedic effect, and shout "MAYBE A RIMJOB FOR GOOD MEASURE!" (That's another inside joke...Couldn't explain it properly if I tried.)

I turn my head. It's her family. Her mom actually dropped her keys. My heart sank and I could almost feel my butthole swallow the ballknob as it cringed. My reputation with them is forever ruined and I will never be able to erase their reactions from my mind. The mom started cussing at me and the dad just kept staring. Her sister (2 years younger than my girlfriend, who is 21) went into hysterics and fell on the floor laughing. These three different ranges of emotions led my already fry-fucked brain to even more confusion, and all I could think to say was, "Well why the fuck are you in this house?" I said it just like that, like there was another house that they should have rather been in or something. Best part is my girlfriend is still working... She got called in for extra time. So although I'm sure her parents have told her what happened, and she may have seen the many texts I've been sending her, I have no idea what her response to this whole thing is.

Bottom line is that what I'm feeling right now is literally the worst feeling I think I'm capable of feeling. I feel destroyed. I'd rather be angry or sad or something but nope I'm just fucking devastated. Thanks for listening GAF.
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In all honesty... you were bit of an ass.
 
Well the good thing is that they'll always be reminded of you whenever they see the ball and the railing.
 
It's a great story, OP, but honestly, I'd say guilt is the worst. When you really fuck up and possibly cause someone else any grief. That tears me up inside.
 
I don't think there can be anything more embarrassing than that. I feel like this may be a blessing in disguise, like you can do anything with your life now without fear. The only thing worse would have been maybe to take a shit in front of them while in that position? And then vomit or something.

But wtf @ the parents talking to "church elders" about the situation. Rolling my eyes so hard. At least your gf is cool about it so it seems like you'll be alright.
 
I don't know what to believe on GAF anymore in regards to these kinds of outlandish 'X-Rated Romantic Comedy Movie Situation' type posts.

But I pray this one is real.

Because it is HILarious.
 
LanceVance said:
Wtf is a church elder
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Exactly what an elder is varies from church to church, but for the most part, just think of an elder as a member of church staff who has a particular responsibility. Now I doubt that her parents went into some dimly lit room to meet a gathering of robed figures. They probably just popped their heads in a deacon's office this morning and asked for a quick word of advice. I really don't know, but it's unlikely they went further than that. I'm also not expecting to walk into some intervention tonight with the pastor there. I really expect it to just be the parents, my girlfriend, and me.

Angry Fork said:
But wtf @ the parents talking to "church elders" about the situation. Rolling my eyes so hard. At least your gf is cool about it so it seems like you'll be alright.
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She's sought advice for less so I really can't put this one past her. She's extremely, extremely devoted to her religion and takes it more than just seriously. She's still a fungoing person who's kind in general--her cussing was definitely out of character--but the word of God will take precedence in any sort of circumstance. Her particular denomination also believes in modern day prophets/messengers, so the elders who have been ordained basically are offering the Holy Spirit's own instructions. That's what I think her thought process is anyway.
 
Letterbomb said:
After that her mom and dad left for church early so they could seek guidance from the church elders on the situation. She wants to "set things straight" and "make sure she upholds a house of God" and what have you. So it sounds like I'll be getting more than just a pure parental lecture tonight.
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Sounds like you might be getting an exorcism.
 
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