• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Does your wife or spouse dislike it when you play games?

Does gaming bother your spouse?


  • Total voters
    313

jufonuk

not tag worthy
She doesn’t mind it, quite supportive actually . Provided I haven’t skipped all what needs to be done first and haven’t just played games all day.
To which I can see her point.



Also not that I do it. But I don’t choose gaming over spending time with kids etc. I either game when I am not working during the day or late at night

She bought me a switch for my 40th
 
Last edited:
Nope.


But I can't bare her tiktoks, I swear "oh no, oh no" one more time, I think I'm going to stamp on her phone. :)
Read my mind, except my wife goes on instagram. Every other video either plays that “No no no” song or some random video vaguely synced up to “Allstar” from Smash Mouth that doesn’t end up making sense. Shit like that is the most common denominator “entertainment” ever, yet she gets on my case for being “addicted” to videogames despite not playing any online games that are actually designed to be addictive.

It’s really the only thing I don’t like about her, but I’ve known a lot of people in my life who think gaming is bad but stuff like watching Vines/TikToks for hours on end or binge watching TV is fine, so I’m used to the hypocrisy. At least it’s a step up from my last gf who would play games almost as much as I did while simultaneously complaining about me playing games too much.

I’ve seen a random theory online before that women inherently don’t like when men have hobbies that aren’t seen as “productive” (ie conducive to making money), and from my life experience that generally seems to be the case.
 

OZ9000

Gold Member
So she has an issue with you having a hobby? You aren't siamese twins..... This is slightly toxic behaviour if im completely honest.
Is she overly attached? As in, jealous when you go out with friends? If not, she should just can it.

This behaviour started halfway through my marriage and it was one of the reasons we divorced. I felt guilty if I did something for myself. That's a feeling you shouldn't have.
Everyone should have the oppurtunity to blow off some steam on their own. Just because you are together doesnt mean you should spend all the time together.

Live and let live.
Yes I think there is an element of that. I'll have a discussion with her and explore her reasons the next
My wife was cranky once when I was playing Elden Ring instead of getting my newborn ready for his bath. I never repeated that mistake since she’s super understanding and a bit of a gamer herself,
The hardest boss battle is a baby for sure haha.
 

Filben

Member
No, she frequently asks me what I'm playing if I'm on PC or Steam Deck and when it's not obvious like PS5 games on TV. We often play Mario Kart together or she plays Animal Crossing while I'm doing something.

You should talk to her, mate, and get to the bottom of it. Even if she can't find an answer at first but you guys have to dig through that, otherwise she keeps getting annoyed (for whatever reason) and this gonn annoy you and soon you're all in a fight over the stupidest things.

I work with couples and people, parents, kids etc for a living and I can tell you from experience that it is a problem she has to figure out and it's something in her perception and it's not you going after your hobby per se. It is the way she sees the world and you. She has to work on her mindset regarding your hobby.

Obviously you can and should help her with that, maybe make her understand what it is you see in video games and how it's not different from any other hobby like reading, watching things on TV, going to the cinema, theatre etc. She obviously don't have to love it but she should respect that. Don't make an argument about other things, keep it on topic, but tell her you respect her hobbies as well and you wouldn't want her to ditch the stuff she loves. Tell her that you want mutual respect in your relationship.

So, be honest about it. Tell her why you want to get to the bottom of it, like you don't want it to become a bigger problem later. Also ask her why she would want you to have a different hobby. Then make her understand that you doing things/having hobbies aren't meant for her enjoying but it's for you. It's not your job to have a hobby what she finds "cool".

if it's early on and you aren't in that relationship for years or kids aren't involved and If she doesn't appreciate honesty and can't give you the smallest respect ditch her before some psycho shit starts. I've seen that plenty and it usually ends bad for men because women get away with a loooot of shit if they really go down that route.
 

STARSBarry

Gold Member
After playing the dating game for a long time, I got sick of someone earning less than me and working less hours constantly criticising the way I spent my free time while simultaneously wanting to do stuff less engaging by just watching the same dumb Romcom shit over and over for hours on end.

I realised I'm quite a selfish person and rather than being unhappy pretending to enjoy something I don't for hours on end I would rather just be single and not have the drain on my finances while also being able to spend my time how I like when I like.

It's been working so far, but I am sure there will be a point I want to move on. Naturally I would prefer a partner that shares the hobby, but honestly I'd just be happy with them just not caring.
 
Last edited:

MonkeyClaw36

Gold Member
Yes I think there is an element of that. I'll have a discussion with her and explore her reasons the next
That's a BIG red flag.... At a certain point in my marriage, this evolved to trying to sabotage my alone/ away from home time.
Made me feel bad for choosing for ME and not US all the time.

I worked 40 hours a week, we have 2 kids. She only worked 20 hours. Who did the laundry? ME. Who cleaned the house? ME.
And when I wanted some gamingtime, it would end up in a heated argument, so I just chose not to argue. But it was eating me from the inside. DONT GO DOWN THAT PATH!!!!
Step up, man up and claim some alone time. If she doesn't understand... Fine. Let that be HER problem, not yours bro.

I never recovered from that until I met my current girlfriend. It was a complete 180 when compared to my ex wife. Hell, she even feels guilty when she goes out to dinner with friends, even if I say "Dont ask me, just say you're going! Have some fun!"
To Quote Axl Rose: "Everybody needs some time on their own, sometimes you need some time for your own". Man I love November Rain :p

Be strong and be stern. No-one should feel guilty or uncertian when choosing for themselves every once in a while.
Claiming attention works counter productive in the long run. My ex can tell you this, muhahahaha.
 
Last edited:

LongFarGone

Neo Member
Tough situation considering she's your wife. If she was just a girlfriend, it would be easier to dump her because generally that's what I'd advise. I've had a relationship in the past where she hated my videogaming but only revealed this 3 years later! Apparently there was no problem in watching Kitchen Nightmares, soap dramas, Simon Cowell singing crap and all these braindead TV shows. I never begrudged her watching them but she always, always, always moaned about my gaming even while she was literally sat there watching Netflix. Absolutely maddening.

For me, gaming is an integral part of my entertainment life. I cannot watch most TV shows, occasionally watch movies and sportsball events bore me to tears. If somebody has a serious problem with my gaming hobby, then they've basically got a serious problem with me; it really is a relationship-ending hurdle. I sympathise with your position, you can try and reason with women but some of them can be extremely pigheaded and hypocritical.
 
My wife does not like it when I play video games. Although has no problems if I end up wasting time via TV shows etc. In truth I'm not even sure why it bothers her so much! She previously felt gaming was reserved for losers only however I have a very good job and earn double her monthly salary. Gaming is just so much more fun than watching some garbage on Netflix.
My fiance doesnt mind as long as i pleasure her in bed and go out and do things with her, i could understand a partner hating it if you put stuff off or wear a headset while gaming but if you dont and do spend quality time with her or him then i dont see the problem
 

Hendrick's

Member
Sad The End GIF by Hollyoaks
 

Rocco Schiavone

I am terrified of Microsoft and am always concerned about them.
Depends on the console. Jetstation 4 pro she cared because of the terrible noise. On the PS5 she doesn't give a f*** because It's not disturbung her while watching TV.
 

Kssio_Aug

Gold Member
My wife doesn't care, except if I start playing obsessively. She sometimes even encourage me to play with and teach our child.

But I know how annoying this can be. My parents used to be a pain in the ass about it, all the time.
 
Last edited:
My gf doesn't mind at all, but since I'm used to having a gf that dislikes it, it feels weird.

Got her to play Fall Guys en Overcooked though and she even wants to play together every evening, so it's all good.
 

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
I have the luck of having a girlfriend that also really likes to play too...Of course she'll play what every girl might play (the Sims) but she'll also play Rogue legacy 2 where we take turn or if I am tired she has a tendency of playing Civ 6 all night long...That's great.She has a female friend that is pesting because her boyfriend like to play games and she always tell her why don't you play with him or at least and see if you like...I think that's a good solution make her try games, buy some games she might like and she may play with you.
 

Smokken

Neo Member
Some of you really need to ditch your wife jeez. I'd rather stay single than being controlled like a bitch complaining about my hobbies.
My last gf was exactly like that. Started whining soon as I turned on my computer. But totally fine for her to spend hours on Instagram and whatnot, nice logic. God forbid I'm able to unwind after work.
 

Tiamat2san

Member
No, she plays almost as much as I play.
Every game that can be played in coop (mostly shooters)
We play gears 5 every weekend together.
And we can’t wait to finally play halo infinite in coop.
 

MikeM

Member
Nope. She signed up for this, so her fault.

While i’m gaming, she is usually on her phone or working on her side business. 🤷‍♂️
 

TGO

Hype Train conductor. Works harder than it steams.
My ex use to, thought they was stupid.
Especially if I'd go play them while she's watching Jeremy Kyle.
 

Topher

Gold Member
It bothered my wife in the early years of marriage. I pointed out guys playing golf. They spend more money and more time away from home than I do playing video games.

That was the last I heard about it.
 

Kenneth Haight

Gold Member
My wife does not like it when I play video games. Although has no problems if I end up wasting time via TV shows etc. In truth I'm not even sure why it bothers her so much! She previously felt gaming was reserved for losers only however I have a very good job and earn double her monthly salary. Gaming is just so much more fun than watching some garbage on Netflix.
Chris Pratt What GIF


If you cannot enjoy the things you do and you have a good career what’s the issue? Not giving you relationship advice but if my partner thought something I did was “stupid” it would be hurtful and vice versa. Watching TV is “wasting time” just as much as video games.
 
Nope, depends of the game she will sit and watch until the end or ask me to keep playing

(Death stranding, Detroit, judgment, last of us)

She only only played one time (100% Detroit all endings lol. Idk how )
 

Lunarorbit

Gold Member
When we first moved in together and I got a wii I played a bunch of twilight princess. She would read and passively watch as I explored.

Today its still the same. I'll invite her to come down to the basement where the new TV is and we... what's the word she uses? Cross play? I forgot the term she used but she's doing her thing and I'm doing mine while we hang out.

Lucked out. Same with sports.
 

Dodkrake

Member
Nope, she's a gamer as well, so it's perfect. Games that interest us I'll usually play, games that only interest me I play on the desktop via remote play, games that only interest her she plays on the big screen.

The only lost battle is that I cannot monopolize the TV (but she can). I don't mind it though.
 
Not particularly, my wife and I understand that spending time doing the things we enjoy individually is just as important as time spent enjoying things together. She’s not a huge fan of video games, doesn’t necessarily dislike them though. She knows that I really enjoy them and that if it makes me happy, whatever. Although I say this and she spent over 50 hours in Witcher 3 and is looking for something else to play (maybe RDR2 next).

We typically spend time with each other for an hour or 2 in the evening before going off and doing our own things. Be that watching whatever on TV, playing video games or another hobby.

Seeing other peoples hobbies as a waste of time just because you don’t see value in them is such an old fashioned, two dimensional and selfish viewpoint. Hobbies are there to increase your well being and improve your mental health.

I’m not sure where you earning double her salary has anything to do with this though. Regardless of how much money you earn, as long as you work hard, you should be able to play hard too.
 
Last edited:

nush

Gold Member
She did give me some low key shit about it, I just waved my finger in a general direction around the room and say "You know these videogames paid for this home right?". Super effective to shut her down on that line of thinking after a couple of times, but it does require you to work in the game industry to play that hand.
 
I'd never be with someone that couldn't accept my hobbies. It's literally my free time. I can't imagine living with someone shitting on that as well...as if life isn't miserable enough already.

You say this:

My wife does not like it when I play video games. Although has no problems if I end up wasting time via TV shows etc.
I'll never understand why movies and tv shows are acceptable...but not videogames? Technically you're "wasting" time watching tv shows as well...it's just a different hobby. Specially considering you're the one having the bigger paychecks...maybe she should just let you live. It's no big deal. It's a hobby like any other.
 

elegantgamer

Neo Member
At first it did because she didn't understand it. However I told her this is my only hobby that I do to relax and calm down. Since playing video games is like therapy for me. I told her I watch anything you watch and you spend all your free time on your phone or watching tv so why does it matter if I play 2 hours a week or more playing video games. If you don't like it then deal with it cuz I aint stopping it for you. This led to her getting into video games mostly Sims 4. She hates any graphic game I play or RPGs because it's "boring" for her. Tell your girl to deal with it or I'll find someone else that will enjoy it.
 
Top Bottom