When do you notice framerate? All the time.
When do you notice resolution? All the time.
When do you notice raytracing? Sometimes.
That's the issue right now, and since even the RTX 3090 gets brought to its knees, it really is not a big deal, especially when you a) are actually playing the game and not staring at benches to figure out what's going on (and 99% of people wouldn't know what to look for/at anyway), and b) don't have the comparison shot right in front of you. If it's not a RT'ed puddle I'd bet you 9/10 people wouldn't know the difference in a blind test.
Personally RT means a lot less to me when game has such glaring flaws as poor asset swapping & hamstrung streaming system (pop-in, low res txtr swaps etc), to say nothing of npc models (which is more understandable). If it's down to games looking more like Demon's Souls, or games looking more like Quake RTX, fuck RT, I know what I'm choosing. For me I'm all in on Nanite, first and foremost. We can negotiate RT as more GPU gens pass.