Ellie* and Garett* have been together for six years. They have a clear affection for each other, touching each other gently on the shoulder when one says something the other appreciates and often looking at each other lovingly throughout conversation. Their respect and adoration for one another comes through even over a Skype call from their home in Queensland, Australia. Their home appears cozy and comfortable, and Garett works long hours while Ellie stays home and tends to household needs. They also engage in what they call "feeding" – Ellie induces lactation and produces breast milk for Garett to consume.
Ellie, 55, and Garett, 57, are in what's known as an "adult nursing relationship," or an "adult breastfeeding relationship." These arrangements are exactly what they sound like – one partner produces milk to share with the other through breastfeeding. For many, there is a sexual aspect to the nursing part of their relationship, but Adult Nursing Relationships (ANRs) are not strictly sexual. On the social media site FetLife, which serves people interested in BDSM and kink, a few thousand users discuss how they simply enjoy the act of suckling or exchanging milk while cuddling or watching TV on some nights, while on other nights the milk exchange may be part of their foreplay or sex itself. The dynamics of these relationships can be incredibly varied, and they are not limited to heterosexual pairings – there are many women who enjoy the act of suckling a partner, too.
People's reasons for entering ANRs can be wildly different. Some are women who decided to induce lactation for their own reasons – perhaps they were unable to have children and lactating makes them feel more connected to their femininity, or provides some sort of emotional satisfaction — and enjoy sharing their milk with partners. Others do it within the context of a monogamous relationship. One woman on FetLife wrote that she induced lactation to nurse her husband but, as he travels a lot, she shares her milk with other men when he is out of town to keep up her milk supply. Chelsea*, a 38-year-old woman who is in an ANR with her wife, decided to induce lactation two years ago in an effort to help with her wife's chronic health problems after medical interventions failed. And still others have breastfeeding relationships that are completely non-sexual in nature. "Personally, I'm platonic when it comes to breastfeeding," wrote one user on FetLife. "The idea of just relaxing, covered in blankets, sipping some tea, coffee, or chai… while breastfeeding in the morning is ideal for me."
