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[ItIsOkBro]

reply rate is a poor metric, character count per reply variance is much more accurate

Factor in interarrival times and I think we have the formula for love interest.

 

[Brazil]

ITT I witnessed first hand the difference between married / in a relationship / socially skilled GAFfers and those like the OP and everyone who thinks Shuri's above post is wrong or bad.

Pretty much. I hope some of them were able to learn something from this thread.

 

[EVOL 100%]

there were no positives to work from, only hope is to demolish and rebuild. and i would have definitely appreciated this when i was younger, would have saved me years of floundering.

Yeah, sometimes you need a good slap in the face to get on the right track. Hope you rethink some things OP, approach doesn't mean shit when you have the wrong mental foundations

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

Op we would like to see the texts.

Op?

Op plz respond. (´・ω・`)

His reply rate is not looking good.

 

[Oersted]

More

And less texting.

What? How? Source?

 

[The Technomancer]

I thought the anime/dating sim line was kind of insulting.

Just because he fucked up on a massive scale doesn't mean he should be made fun of.

The anime/dating sim thing is accurate though. Its the same kind of dynamic, believing that the way to a girls heart is through accruing enough "romance points" through texts, dates, gifts, whatever regardless of what signals you're getting

 

[Derwind]

His reply rate is not looking good.

1 to 6 ratio..... nope not looking good

 

[Meatfist]

The last text you should send her should tell her to get behind a few inches of lead, because this is some Gamma-level simpin'

Put down the phone OP, I've totally been there, and although it's gonna suck right now you'll feel so much better down the road knowing you held on to your self respect

 

[XenodudeX]

The anime/dating sim thing is accurate though. Its the same kind of dynamic, believing that the way to a girls heart is through accruing enough "romance points" through texts, dates, gifts, whatever regardless of what signals you're getting

But the thing is, I don't think that was what he was trying to do. Or maybe it was. I dunno.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Factor in interarrival times and I think we have the formula for love interest.

gonna need to run a regression on these coefficients before i'm 100% on board, but i think you have something here.

The last text you should send her should tell her to get behind a few inches of lead, because this is some Gamma-level simpin'

Put down the phone OP, I've totally been there, and although it's gonna suck right now you'll feel so much better down the road knowing you held on to your self respect

i feel we have vastly different definitions of self-respect.

 

[ZackieChan]

3-4 texts a day? Jeez.

I for one never will be the first to initiate first contact with a female. If they're interested they can spark the conversation first & it works for me. I hate feeling like I'm annoying someone.

You're like the Japan fashion guy. Why would sparking a conversation with someone be "annoying" them? You're allowed to talk to girls, or make "first contact" with them. The fact that you call it "first contact" and expect them to always make it speaks volumes.

 

[PhoenixDark]

I wish we could see those texts.

"just heard 7 million PS4s have been sold, crazy huh? If you want one tell me, there are some nice games for women on it"

"watching Arrow, it's pretty good. Want to come over? You can catch up on Netflix"

"WOW. just went to Taco Bell and they said no AM waffle tacos. It was 11:30AM, which is still AM as you see. wtf"

"why do people drink?"

 

[NEOPARADIGM]

she should behave herself

 

[late to the party]

Thank you everyone, really!
I can’t reply to you all but I will surely read your every post.
I feel like I have gone through a lot. Many of you have offered good suggestions and lessons and I really appreciate all your efforts.
Damn, only if I had posted here earlier…

 

[XenodudeX]

Thank you everyone, really!
I can’t reply to you all but I will surely read your every post.
I feel like I have gone through a lot. Many of you have offered good suggestions and lessons and I really appreciate all your efforts.
Damn, only if I had posted here earlier…

Can you explain the "She should behave herself" line please? That was a really odd comment to make.

 

[Plywood]

Should be a version that says: NO MATTER HOW NICE HE SEEMS SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS TIRED OF HIS SIMP.

Someone somewhere is going to make money off this t-shirt idea.

 

[jasonng]

Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[Dilly]

I thought the anime/dating sim line was kind of insulting.

Just because he fucked up on a massive scale doesn't mean he should be made fun of.

This does a better job imo:

Exactly. Don't have to be an ass to explain what he did wrong.

 

[DY_nasty]

I thought the anime/dating sim line was kind of insulting.:

Where else does one pick up the idea of quantifying interaction with other people? lol

 

[commedieu]

Exactly. Don't have to be an ass to explain what he did wrong.

You don't have to be, but its how life is when you screw up and harass a woman, then post about it. If people weren't allowed to be asses on gaf, while giving amazing advice, gaf wouldn't be gaf.

 

[Mr.Monitor]

http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

Some of those 2ch replies are pure gold.

 

[Dilly]

You don't have to be, but its how life is when you screw up and harass a woman, then post about it. If people weren't allowed to be asses on gaf, while giving amazing advice, gaf wouldn't be gaf.

Doesn't mean I have to agree with it.

 

[aeolist]

Where else does one pick up the idea of quantifying interaction with other people? lol

calling it "confessing" is kind of a red flag anyway

 

[Deaf Spacker]

Doesn't mean I have to agree with it.

No, she told the truth.

Edit: you changed your post.

 

[Social]

I guess at one point in any of our lives, we've all been there in some way or form. You'll look back at this in a few years and laugh at how creepy tou were.

 

[Kieli]

The part where she was becoming less and less responsive and you kept pushing it kind of made me cringe.

Not saying this is the norm or anything, but I tend to avoid contact when I don't want to talk to somebody. So what you were doing would have made things a billion times more awkward (for people like me)...

 

[edbrat]

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

[RAMEN POSTS]

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself

Oh, that makes sense.

 

[LyleLanley]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

Oh god, I regret reading that.

Subject: To Denko

Thinking on it now, our meeting was a cherry blossom blooming in high school.
And now, it’s spring again just the same.

Before I met you, Denko, I felt like I was in a cold winter.
But in the spring, you put a bud in my heart that would bloom into a great flower.
It’s been so long since we were in high school together, but my feelings are just the same as they were that spring.

You’ve helped me when I was bullied, haven’t you, Denko?
Back then, I thought, “Why does this girl not have the wings an angel should have?”
I suppose you must have left them in your mother’s stomach…

Even when we met eyes, I didn’t have the courage.
And we could never talk to each other.
But now, I’m different!
Denko, I know you may not want to marry me yet, but please, go out with me!

 

[commedieu]

Doesn't mean I have to agree with it.

YES IT DOE...

Oh wait, you're right.

 

[EscoBlades]

Why stop there? Don't half-ass things:

• Pre-add important dates in the phone's calendar such as "The first time we met at work", "Our first lunch at Subway", "Christmas time at my parents' home", "Most fertile time of the month according to my estimations and research"
  

I legit snorted fruit juice through my nose reading this.

 

[Ray665]

I thank OP for introducing me to a new term: Reply Rate ... cringeworthy and brilliant at the same time

LMAO, Listen lady your "Reply Rate" is abysmal.........by my calculations..........

 

[phillipgessert]

I think guys that are struggling with feeling inferior sometimes become hypersensitive to demonstrations of disrespect and even get into really rigid senses of propriety. Being assertive and not being a total pushover is good, but oftentimes these guys start excessively and constantly 'sticking up for themselves' even when it's not appropriate.

I feel like this is where the OP went with the 'behave yourself' scolding. OP, if I'm right, you've gone way up a ring tree - and if you find yourself constantly battling to be respected, then you should take it as a sign that you should step back and work on feeling better about yourself first.

 

[NotMyRealName]

Oh, that makes sense.

It makes sense if you were raised in a sealed cage.

 

[Scully Scully Scoo]

This is the thing, there is no helping the OP.. he's got to learn these things himself, and everyone defending him from Shuri's truthbombs are likely similar enough to the OP that they're blind to his advice, too.

Shuri's giving legitimate examples and rationale for why he hasn't heard back... you're silly to think he's just being mean, or beating a dead horse as you put it.

If he is in the u.s.a., it may help him to back off before he is fired for cause for sexual harassment, with no references, made ineligible for unemployment, etc.

Also, he clearly doesn't understand what he is doing wrong, or a later post would not have included the word "behave". In my opinion, this guy needs to be removed from the streets until he views women as human beings.

there were no positives to work from, only hope is to demolish and rebuild. and i would have definitely appreciated this when i was younger, would have saved me years of floundering.

some of the posts shuri made were hyperbolic and others, which are most likely true, wont help his situation 'You probably are the laughing stock at the office' <<well no shit of course he is but how is telling him that going to help him now. this is the sort of advice u give someone if they are thinking of doing what op has already done.

it would be better to focus on positives, for example, this may have been the first time op shown a bit of courage and took the initiative, of course he channelled it the wrong way but he has hopefully learned that now.

 

[Dilly]

No, she told the truth.

Edit: you changed your post.

NO PROVE IT

 

[XenodudeX]

Where else does one pick up the idea of quantifying interaction with other people? lol

Anime and dating sims? lol

But I find hard to believe that's he got it from.

Instead of calling him a loser and harasser, or saying everyone at your job is now laughing at you , lets give him healthy advice. Like this :

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

That is straight to the point no bullshit advice. This is way more helpful.

 

[Buzzati]

Anime and dating sims? lol

But I find hard to believe that's he got it from.

Instead of calling him a loser and harasser, or saying everyone at your job is now laughing at you and you have no balls, lets give him healthy advice. Like this :

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

That is straight to the point no bullshit advice. This is way more helpful.

But how will I rouse Neogaf's laughter?

 

[TUROK]

Can you explain the "She should behave herself" line please? That was a really odd comment to make.

The wording is fucked, but it seems like he meant that she should be upfront with her lack of interest in him, which is pretty true.

Hints are fucking stupid.

Where else does one pick up the idea of quantifying interaction with other people? lol

When you care about something, you tend to analyze it, and when that something isn't quite going our way, we overanalyze it and try to rationalize the situation. Or maybe that's just me.

 

[Deaf Spacker]

NO PROVE IT

Would if I could mang.

 

[Trey]

What? How? Source?

looks spliced together.

 

[phillipgessert]

Shuri's post basically outlines all the consequences for what happened, and that's a useful thing.

 

[braves01]

LMAO, Listen lady your "Reply Rate" is abysmal.........by my calculations..........

I think "reciprocating response ratio" should be the term used, abbreviated to RRR.

I'd say a 0.5 RRR is bottom threshold where continuing to text makes sense, so obviously a 0.33 RRR or a 0.17 RRR indicate lack of interest. A 1.0 RRR is ideal, and anything above 1.33 RRR and you may have a clinger.

 

[late to the party]

Can you explain the "She should behave herself" line please? That was a really odd comment to make.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Oh, that’s, I just thought that she should be upfront. That’s what I was trying to say.

 

[freenudemacusers]

some of the posts shuri made were hyperbolic and others, which are most likely true, wont help his situation 'You probably are the laughing stock at the office' <<well no shit of course he is but how is telling him that going to help him now. this is the sort of advice u give someone if they are thinking of doing what op has already done.

it would be better to focus on positives, for example, this may have been the first time op shown a bit of courage and took the initiative, of course he channelled it the wrong way but he has hopefully learned that now.

being made aware of the far-reaching social consequences of creepy behavior seems useful imo.

 

[Derwind]

Shuri's post basically outlines all the consequences for what happened, and that's a useful thing.

I have to agree Shuri makes great points, I want her in my corner kicking my ass if I fuck up this bad.... soorry OP

 

[Stumpokapow]

I met this girl about six months ago at my workplace (we are not in the same office though), and we started to do lunch together about once a week or two. When I asked her for lunch (I kept asking her once a week), she always replied yes and even if it’s no she would come up a reason.

This is called general friendliness and is not a sign of romantic interest

At the same time, I started to text (Whatsapp) her more but she’s not that responsive. I thought it’s ok because I could not expect people to reply to my every single message and sometimes I just wanted to share with her and she may not relate. Still, I always tried to bring up something fresh and relevant and encourage her to voice out her thoughts more, although she rarely did.

Here's where the line-crossing starts.

From February, she started to become evasive about my lunch proposals

Discontinue pursuit!

but I still managed to get her out with me. And we still had pleasant conversations when we met. I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages)

DISCONTINUE PURSUIT

and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

NO

There were many times (during our lunch times) I asked her out for movies/walk in park/dinner and she always said yes. She even proposed some movies and suggested a place for us to go. But when I make a proper invitation the very next day, she just acted evasive. At first, she declined with reasons, and then she just didn’t reply at all.

NO

I kept texting her (with things may interest her and we have in common) but she was just ignoring my messages almost entirely. I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome) but she always rejected me at the last minute, again with reasons (about friends/work/etc.).

NO

I knew this could not be kept long so I stopped contacting her earlier this month. Then, only three days later, I happened to see her at the workplace so I again asked her for lunch for the week before Easter… She said yes but didn’t live up to it. Since I knew she’s busy for that week so I didn’t quite mind and instead asked her out for the Easter (via Whatsapp):

NO

So a few hours ago I sent her my last message. Instead of telling her I was hopelessly in love with her, I just told her that “pursuing someone desperately will creep them out… It’s better to make mistakes and then learn from them…” It’s a short message. Not sure if it means anything or not but I guess it’s my last.

You aren't in love with her. You don't know what love is.

 

[terrisus]

The wording is fucked, but it seems like he meant that she should be upfront with her lack of interest in him, which is pretty true.

Hints are fucking stupid.

Sounds to me like she is being pretty upfront about her lack of interest in him.

 

[slabrock]

I think "reciprocating response ratio" should be the term used, abbreviated to RRR.

I'd say a 0.5 RRR is bottom threshold where continuing to text makes sense, so obviously a 0.33 RRR or a 0.17 RRR indicate lack of interest. A 1.0 RRR is ideal, and anything above 1.33 RRR and you may have a clinger.

and there should be a smartphone app for this that calculates the RRR and gives you a warning chime when you get to certain thresholds.

 

[Tecl0n]

OP, Are you familiar with the Hindenburg disaster?