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I'm sick of all the waiting...pls respond..I confessed to u...unacceptable behavior..

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OP, stuff like this happens. Most guys are the sap at some point in their life. Sounds like you're gonna learn from it and move forward. That's the right mentality.

It's really not that big a deal
 
Have you ever worked in an office setting? This kind of stuff spreads like wildfire between people.

Yes I have. The office environment is very vitriolic.

That being said, there's no need for comments like those. The guy's a creep, and he should acknowledge it before it gets out of hand before shit like that happens.

I, in my right mind, wouldn't tell him like that because the office environment is very YMMV.

I agree with everything in that blurb. Just not that one. As well as the harassment thing, but then again I'm going with the intention that the OP knows better than to escalate this shit.

not even a troll post. office shit is just like high school.

Like high school, your experience may vary.
 
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.
* taken to court for harassment
*prepare for restraining order
 
You need to learn about date theater OP.

Persistence tends to be seen as creepiness in my experience. You have to strike a nice balance. I just made up this analogy that seems appropriate:

Love is a highway. If you feel that you're doing all the work hit the breaks and let her catch up.

You were doing 80 and you just kept going. These things need to be give and take. The fact that you were the one asking her out to lunch every single time should've been a giant red flag. I was talking to a girl a few weeks ago and said that I wanted to see her again and her reply was "Yea let's plan something soon". Vague, non-specific, pointless. I stopped texting her ass for like a week and a half. She hit me up last night to hang out.

This is an extreme case but you can't let things be one-sided. It's murder on your sanity because you spend a lot of time waiting.

It's something for me to learn. I understand a lot but practically realized little...
 
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.

This is a terrible post and you should feel bad.
 
You should probably keep it up. It's like the stories old married couples tell where the woman is reminiscing on how much of a loser her husband was and how disinterested she had been but he just kept on trying and eventually she fell for him. That's you Op! She loves you. She just doesn't know it yet. It's up to you to step your game up. Redouble your efforts. Hand deliver her flowers to her home. Arrange "random" meetings at places like the supermarket when she's shopping. Go from 3 txts a day to 6. You'll be telling your grandkids the story of how you guys met in no time.
 
Not gonna lie, op. That was a really tough read. Should have took your L a long time ago and moved on. A women who is genuinely interested will make an effort to reply to you. Forcing things never ever works.

You're better off finding someone that isn't a chore to talk to and coordinate plans with.

Fuck that. No need to shift the blame on the other person like they're the ones who made this difficult.

OP got problems.
 
the hell? shuri's response is the most accurate, realistic, and helpful post in this thread

guys do not understand how women see this kind of stuff
yeah uh, i'm not sure what is objectionable about this:

  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.

all of these seem completely on point

Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.
seriously dudes, are you reading this? I wanna see screengrabs of these texts.
 
I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

jVBp8JvfbwJw3.jpg
 
Ultra awkward kinks some people have need to be worked on hardcore lol..

Accept that fact OP and fix it. You'll need to evaluate yourself to the extreme.
 
Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.
lmao this guy

i want to thank you and people like you for making average guys like me look way better by comparison
 
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.

++
 
Long story short: It’s one-sided romance. I texted her but haven’t got any reply (Seen ✓✓). I know I am done and just to vent.

Not sure if this is the right place. Anyway It’s my first thread here and, I just want to vent…

I met this girl about six months ago at my workplace (we are not in the same office though), and we started to do lunch together about once a week or two. When I asked her for lunch (I kept asking her once a week), she always replied yes and even if it’s no she would come up a reason. Every time, I brought her to a new restaurant and we did have some very nice conversations (at least to me). At the same time, I started to text (Whatsapp) her more but she’s not that responsive. I thought it’s ok because I could not expect people to reply to my every single message and sometimes I just wanted to share with her and she may not relate. Still, I always tried to bring up something fresh and relevant and encourage her to voice out her thoughts more, although she rarely did.

From February, she started to become evasive about my lunch proposals but I still managed to get her out with me. And we still had pleasant conversations when we met. I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

There were many times (during our lunch times) I asked her out for movies/walk in park/dinner and she always said yes. She even proposed some movies and suggested a place for us to go. But when I make a proper invitation the very next day, she just acted evasive. At first, she declined with reasons, and then she just didn’t reply at all.

I kept texting her (with things may interest her and we have in common) but she was just ignoring my messages almost entirely. I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome) but she always rejected me at the last minute, again with reasons (about friends/work/etc.).

I knew this could not be kept long so I stopped contacting her earlier this month. Then, only three days later, I happened to see her at the workplace so I again asked her for lunch for the week before Easter… She said yes but didn’t live up to it. Since I knew she’s busy for that week so I didn’t quite mind and instead asked her out for the Easter (via Whatsapp):

Me: It’s a long holiday; maybe we can find a day free and go out somewhere.
She: where
Me: (A lot of suggestions but I pointed out what I liked the most)
She: which one
Me: (replied in detail)

She didn’t reply since. I texted her that I didn’t like that and asked her to reject me if she wanted and just not to ignore my invitations because I was sick of all the waiting…

So a few hours ago I sent her my last message. Instead of telling her I was hopelessly in love with her, I just told her that “pursuing someone desperately will creep them out… It’s better to make mistakes and then learn from them…” It’s a short message. Not sure if it means anything or not but I guess it’s my last.

OK. Time to let go now. It’s hard though…

Sorry I didn’t realize it would be this long... as I just wanted to vent.

Share if you have any thoughts/experiences.

Can I be real? Because that's the only way I believe you'll learn from this situation.

1. Stop simping. You have tried to take this person out multiple times, and sometimes succeeded, when it was obvious she wasn't into you. You're spending time and money to entertain someone who doesn't like you. Don't ever do this again, it's a sign of weakness.

2. Take a damn hint. If you're sending someone lengthy texts and they respond with 1-4 word responses, chances are they're either not into you or talking to someone else.

3. She doesn't owe you. She is not legally required to respond to you, or reward your kindness with a date, a kiss, etc. She clearly viewed you as a friend or acquaintance, but you overstayed your welcome by being pushy. She clearly wasn't sending signals that she liked you, therefore don't act like she "led you on."

4. Walk away. There was no need to send that passive aggressive text, all it does is make you look like even more of a sucker. Again, I'm being hard because this is important to understand. Dust yourself off and never talk to her again, unless she initiates the conversation.


I guarantee you she told coworkers about all this btw, and they laughed. You should have taken the hint ages ago and moved on, or waited for her to initiate things (ie her asking you if you wanted to go to lunch). You lost. But you can dust yourself off and be better prepared in the future, IF you learn from this mistake.
 
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.

This is 100% accurate.

That was cringeworthy, OP. Legitimately hard to read.

And quit acting like "Oh I understand now" etc. No, you don't. It's clear from your interactions that you have serious social deficiencies and you are a long way off from correcting them. It's a process.
 
I've always wondered (mainly to female-GAF but if anyone has the answer I wont mind) what makes a girl lose so suddenly interest in you? Lets say, for example, you've been interacting with a girl via text message and things have been going pretty good. All of a sudden, everything changes and she seems distant, etc, BUT interactions never changed between what was working before and after. What gives? I've always had that curiosity, and never have I gotten a clear response by a female as to why it happens....
 
Its interesting seeing the reactions to Shuri's post break up into "spot on" and "entirely wrong"

I'm in the spot on camp for most of them, although I doubt this would go as far as an actual harassment charge.
 
I actually have asked her twice if she had felt annoyed but she told me she liked my messages...

Sometimes in life, people aren't gonna keep it real with you. They'll smile, nod, and once they get around the corner they'll drop the facade and quickly tell anyone who'll listen how fucked up their last experience was. People have no obligation to tell you the truth about stuff like that - especially when there's no reason for them to be confrontational either.
 
i wanna see the texts op

gimme them shits

I've always wondered (mainly to female-GAF but if anyone has the answer I wont mind) what makes a girl lose so suddenly interest in you? Lets say, for example, you've been interacting with a girl via text message and things have been going pretty good. All of a sudden, everything changes and she seems distant, etc, BUT interactions never changed between what was working before and after. What gives? I've always had that curiosity, and never have I gotten a clear response by a female as to why it happens....
not a chick but if you sit around waiting or being passive and not moving things in a particular direction i wouldn't blame someone for losing interest. "text interaction never changing" is probably the problem.
 
Yep. Troll post. If you'd remove 5 I'd probably take this seriously, because it's obvious you're not taking the discussion seriously.

uhm... 5 is actually possible. I mean, I would want "help"/opinion on what to do or how to deal with a guy I'm not interested in who texts me everyday. Of course, she may have not done that, but let's not push away the possibility that she spread it around the office, mmkay?
 
the hell? shuri's response is the most accurate, realistic, and helpful post in this thread

guys do not understand how women see this kind of stuff

He contacted her too much but it's not like he was stalking her. OP said he knows he went about this the wrong way, there's no need to kick him when he's down.
 
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