Fuck you for taking me away from a test.
So I was talking with a girl online about 5 years ago, back when I was living in SoCal. She seemed of the shy type, but after about a couple of weeks, she really opened up, phone and skype sex every other night, all the stuff.
We decide to finally meet up because we could not take it anymore. She wanted some, I wanted it all, and it would be hot to meet somewhere in the middle (we lived a good 40ish miles apart) and just
go. The day comes, and after having lunch and playing mini-golf, we get to the motel, I shell out $90, and we get into the room and immediately my shirt is flying, and we are making out.
Now, the first warning sign was that it was my clothes being shed. She wasn't a secret fatty, because I saw what was up over cam. But hell, she was pulling me and getting down so I paid it little attention. I get around to getting her on the bed, taking her shirt off, unbuckling her bra and giving her every bit of attention with my mouth. She's loving it, and after some time, starts to unbuckle her pants, but stops. I think to myself, "Ok, she wants me to do it" but when I reach, she pushes me away. Now, I'm harder than Thor's hammer and I want to go all out, so I push her hand away and begin to strip off the pants and tear off her panties.
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
The smell came all at once, and hit me harder and faster than a 12-gauge to the temple. From hard as a rock to a banana peel, and it took all the willpower to not heave. I looked at her, and she had this look that told me that this was a problem for other guys and was awaiting my reaction. With eyes watering and the gag reflexes doing the work of gods, I kissed her and began fingering...I did not want her to feel bad but my dick could not do that work. Then the worst thing happens. She pushes my head down in an effort to do the impossible...but again, I didn't want to make her feel bad. I spread her apart, breathing from my mouth, and mind you the smell gets worse. Imagine mildew, old urine and a slight whiff of ass. Then toss that into a can of tuna. It's not good. I lick, and my body said no, and I heave. She gasps, I say something along the lines of ITS NOT YOU IM SICK but as soon as I do I throw up in my mouth. She begins crying while struggling to put on her ripped panties, and I just feel like shit both physically and for the poor sap that has to take that next time. By the time I get out of the bathroom, she's gone, and we haven't really talked since.
tl;dr: If it smells, suggest to take a shower together or something, because damn.