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[Toots]

It's all in the title guys.
And i don't mean a quick 10 minutes tango with a stranger you met two hours before. I mean a 24h hours romp with a woman so beautiful it made my heart sink looking at her while we were making love.
Last time it happened to me was last halloween so you can understand my happiness and eagerness to share.

What's the catch ?
She's polyamorous

If you have experience with this type of relation, and advices to give it would be cool too (except "don't fall in love you're gonna get hurt" have you read my intro its already too late : P)

The poly Beauty and the Monke
Tempera on canvas c. 1490

I added a poll to make this thread a truly interactive experience, and an artistic depiction of the encounter because i cannot put real photos of real people in this silly thread. I mean i'm not that dumb (thanks Evilore)

PS: EviLore you might want to check your algorithms, in the "Is this thread already being discussed" section one of the propositions was the "I have a micropenis - this is how i break the news to sexual partners" thread which is obviously opposite of what we're talking about here !
Everyone knows I have huuuuuge hands, plus i got the best hands, and anything else is

 

[Revolutionary]

 

[SJRB]

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[niilokin]

congrats on the STD

 

[JonSnowball]

 

[EviLore]

Good sex is great, but it's not the basis of a sound relationship. Shared values, shared interests, shared goals, enjoying the boring moments together, trust, reciprocity, loyalty, honesty...you build a relationship on those things.

Don't catch feels.

 

[German Hops]

Holy sh*t!

brap is back in the house!

 

[AlteredForms]

And i don't mean a quick 10 minutes tango with a stranger you met two hours before. I mean a 24h hours romp with a woman so beautiful it made my heart sink looking at her while we were making love.

God damn, spill the details OP, what was she like?

What's the catch ?
She's polyamorous

Well that was fun whilst it lasted.

 

[sankt-Antonio]

Shared values, shared interests, shared goals, enjoying the boring moments together, trust, reciprocity, loyalty, honesty...is great, but it's not the basis of a sound relationship. Good sex, you build a relationship on those things.

Don't catch feels.

Fixed this for OP.

 

[Toots]

Pics or it didn't happen.

I wish i could put pics of her here so you see how beuatiful she is.
She's half vietnamese half spanish, with flowing black hair with the occasional silver thread of a white hair here and there. She has the sweetest tiny ass any honest man could want, and her skin is the colour of my dreams

 

[nush]

What's the catch ?
She's polyamorous

I'm all in for the relationship drama train.

 

[Toots]

Good sex is great, but it's not the basis of a sound relationship. Shared values, shared interests, shared goals, enjoying the boring moments together, trust, reciprocity, loyalty, honesty...you build a relationship on those things.

Don't catch feels.

Thanks for the advices.
Really I know about feels, i exagerated a bit (a lot) for dramatic effect. But she's really great and we have a lot to share in addition to the great sexual chemistry (so much that i was scared at first to be friendzoned, we had too great conversations i though she sees me as a friend but the passion might not be there... Glad i was wrong).
But you're right i'll be careful and try not to catch feels.

 

[MudoSkills]

You're already gushing. I can't see how this doesn't end well with everyone being 100% satisfied with the situation.

 

[Toots]

You're already gushing. I can't see how this doesn't end well with everyone being 100% satisfied with the situation.

i know man, but i think this has a lot to do with the fact it's been a long time since i met a woman who really appeal to me, and also my sense of flair (her skin isn't really the colour of my dreams she's just a bit pale, but it sounded better).

I concur with your ending statement though

And it can't be worst than my last relation/breakup anyway... I mean it can't right ?..

 

[Drake]

I mean, you realize that it's about 1000x easier for a woman to find a partner than a man, right? Have your fun, but if you think you can keep up with her and jealousy won't become an issue you are sadly mistaken my friend.

 

[jason10mm]

Hang on, SHE'S polyamorous?

That means you are just side-piece, and/or actively home wrecking. Might want to take care when talking to this girl, don't let her know where you live, and lower your car seat a bit to minimize your profile.

But if she brings in another woman, ride that rollercoaster, it's totally worth waking up in a tub down a kidney!

 

[Trunx81]

She has the sweetest tiny ass any honest man could want

aaand you lost half of GAF.
What´s her O/F?

 

[Porcile]

It's certainly amazing what some soggy ham and pubic hair can do to a guy.

 

[Raven117]

You are going to get crushed OP.

 

[Toots]

Hang on, SHE'S polyamorous?

That means you are just side-piece, and/or actively home wrecking. Might want to take care when talking to this girl, don't let her know where you live, and lower your car seat a bit to minimize your profile.

But if she brings in another woman, ride that rollercoaster, it's totally worth waking up in a tub down a kidney!

I'm supposed to be too but i'm lazy and if a woman pleases me i don't care for the others.
I had a date on saturday afternoon with a girl i met a few days before, we were supposed to have sex but i knew i would see the Madone (lets call her this it will be easier plus she smiles like one) so we just went to grab a coffee and i told her i i had other stuff to do.

Anyway i know i'm a side piece, she had (at least) two dudes now that she had before me, but i don't really care (for now some would say), and what we share when we are together doesn't make me feel like a side piece, quite the contrary. I know she might just be real good at manipulating others feelings and stuff, but then again as long as i don't see it it won't hurt me i guess, and she makes a lot more money than me so nothing tp worry on that front...

 

[Toots]

aaand you lost half of GAF.
What´s her O/F?

when i said tiny i meant not like those huuuuuuuuuuge ass you see on music videos nowadays.

She truly has an ass at least 80% of gaf would find pleasing, i'd put my balls on the line on this

 

[InterMusketeer]

Run.

 

[jason10mm]

I'm supposed to be too but i'm lazy and if a woman pleases me i don't care for the others.
I had a date on saturday afternoon with a girl i met a few days before, we were supposed to have sex but i knew i would see the Madone (lets call her this it will be easier plus she smiles like one) so we just went to grab a coffee and i told her i i had other stuff to do.

Anyway i know i'm a side piece, she had (at least) two dudes now that she had before me, but i don't really care (for now some would say), and what we share when we are together doesn't make me feel like a side piece, quite the contrary. I know she might just be real good at manipulating others feelings and stuff, but then again as long as i don't see it it won't hurt me i guess, and she makes a lot more money than me so nothing tp worry on that front...

Eh, closest thing to this I've had was a airline stewardess who had a guy in every port.

I was pretty happy to be that guy while it lasted, but I double gloved that shit.

Still sounds like she is just cheating with you and I suspect there is a dude out there (hopefully no kids) who may or may not fill you full of lead (not really your fault, unless you are just squinting and ignoring the signs) so be careful.

...and try to take some pics for us long time married guys 'cause this is about as exciting as it gets for us

 

[Giallo Corsa]

OP, you're already cucked.
Why do people have to always fall for these kind of bad seeds/kind of people I'll never understand...It's like people WANT to be miserable in the long run even knowing beforehand what they're getting into, shit doesn't make sense.

In my country there's this moto : "The pussy is so mighty that can drag a ship behind it".

 

[Toots]

Run.

How fast ?

Eh, closest thing to this I've had was a airline stewardess who had a guy in every port.

I was pretty happy to be that guy while it lasted, but I double gloved that shit.

Still sounds like she is just cheating with you and I suspect there is a dude out there (hopefully no kids) who may or may not fill you full of lead (not really your fault, unless you are just squinting and ignoring the signs) so be careful.

...and try to take some pics for us long time married guys 'cause this is about as exciting as it gets for us

Thanks for your input. Safe sex is the way you're right (i might not have heed this advice unfortunately :/ don't worry gaf, i'll make a serology update in 3 month...)

I don't know why you guys think she's cheating on someone with me. She's a divorced mother of one, has good relations with her ex-husband, and says upfront she's polyamorous and pansexual (did i regain the lost half of gaf Trunx81 ?) on the social media platform where i met her.
About the angry husband with a gun, i live in France so worst that can happen to me is having him (which i repeat doesn't exist ) trying to fuck my wife (which doesn't exist either)...

I swear if i can take unincriminating pics you guys will be the first to see them

Spoiler: about protection

I know i really messed up going in unprotected, well first protected and then unprotected... i'm dumb like that. I really hope i'll be good in 3 month. If not, well we truly will have a neogaf exclusive on our hands. "How a sucker caught aids and trumpeted about it on a gaming forum".

 

[BlackTron]

You went unprotected with her? Start putting money in secret places

 

[H4ze]

Poly sucks balls, my last gf wanted to go poly and I noped out real fast. I am not made for this shit.

 

[jason10mm]

How fast ?

Thanks for your input. Safe sex is the way you're right (i might not have heed this advice unfortunately :/ don't worry gaf, i'll make a serology update in 3 month...)

I don't know why you guys think she's cheating on someone with me. She's a divorced mother of one, has good relations with her ex-husband, and says upfront she's polyamorous and pansexual (did i regain the lost half of gaf Trunx81 ?) on the social media platform where i met her.
About the angry husband with a gun, i live in France so worst that can happen to me is having him (which i repeat doesn't exist ) trying to fuck my wife (which doesn't exist either)...

I swear if i can take unincriminating pics you guys will be the first to see them

Spoiler: about protection

I know i really messed up going in unprotected, well first protected and then unprotected... i'm dumb like that. I really hope i'll be good in 3 month. If not, well we truly will have a neogaf exclusive on our hands. "How a sucker caught aids and trumpeted about it on a gaming forum".

Oh my jebezzus, you RAW DOGGED a SINGLE MOM?!?!

 

[Mistake]

Poly isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Unless you’re a high status guy, good luck getting as much as any average girl will. Also, there’s something to be said for peace of mind knowing you won’t have any surprise doc visits.

It’s tough, but when you find the right person with good physical and emotional chemistry, one is enough. You’ll both want it and there won’t be time for much else

 

[nush]

I know she might just be real good at manipulating others feelings and stuff, but then again as long as i don't see it it won't hurt me i guess, and she makes a lot more money than me

You're so close here....

 

[Toots]

Oh my jebezzus, you RAW DOGGED a SINGLE MOM?!?!

A single medical practitioner with her own medical practice who happens to have a child !
I guess she gave me Loki's fist of blissfull death (or whatever Loki's technique which make you cum to death is called)

You went unprotected with her? Start putting money in secret places

She makes more than me, and i know it won't help my case of "not being completely head over heels for her" but, going by the time we spent together, where she to get pregnant i wouldn't mind at all (well i might be exaggerating again )

 

[Rival]

Congratulations on the likely antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

 

[Toots]

Congratulations on the likely antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

I'll update with the full medical conclusions of the encounter.
I guess you can start betting.
What's the over under of me getting aids ?
How much disease will i get ? one ? two ? more than two ? zero ?
There's money to be made.
Bookies can contact me privately, i'll give them insider infos so they can come up with betting lines

 

[AlteredForms]

A single medical practitioner with her own medical practice who happens to have a child !

Well there won't be any hidden medical costs when it comes to STD screenings. Vietnamese + Spanish + Pale, I'm not even sure what to make of that, it's contradictory as people from those countries are usually brown skinned. I have to see some evidence OP, it doesn't add up. Also take a picture of that tiny ass you mentioned earlier.

 

[Rival]

I'll update with the full medical conclusions of the encounter.
I guess you can start betting.
What's the over under of me getting aids ?
How much disease will i get ? one ? two ? more than two ? zero ?
There's money to be made.
Bookies can contact me privately, i'll give them insider infos so they can come up with betting lines

Full blown aids? 100 to 1.
Treatable HIV? 15/1
Chlamydia/Gonorrhea/Genital warts? 3/2

 

[Dr. Claus]

 

[jshackles]

The mere fact that you call making love "wetting my noodle" tells me that you're not ready

 

[Trunx81]

Full blown aids? 100 to 1.
Treatable HIV? 15/1
Chlamydia/Gonorrhea/Genital warts? 3/2

Wasn´t MonkeyPox a thing lately?

I mean, we are talking about sex in Paris, that´s a whole different level of STD then the rest of the world.

 

[Bartski]

"polyamorous" lol yeah that's how it's called these days. Hope you're not goerphobic!

 

[jason10mm]

A single medical practitioner with her own medical practice who happens to have a child !
I guess she gave me Loki's fist of blissfull death (or whatever Loki's technique which make you cum to death is called)

She makes more than me, and i know it won't help my case of "not being completely head over heels for her" but, going by the time we spent together, where she to get pregnant i wouldn't mind at all (well i might be exaggerating again )

Duuuuude. Enjoy it but just remember that if she didn't make you wear a condom then she doesn't make ANYONE wear a condom. All those other dudes, and you can be sure there are 2-3x more of them than she is admitting to you, are splashing inside of her as well.

I get it, I stuck my naked dick inside crazy a couple times as well. So far I won the disease/"I'm late" game of Russian roulette but you REALLY ought to watch out, or at least get that Prep HIV prevention drug for when you get with her.

 

[TVexperto]

Oh wow, congratulations! This thread has just achieved the impossible. I thought I'd hit rock bottom when I accidentally watched "Sharknado 5," but no, this thread comes along and redefines my concept of cringe. Really, hats off!

I mean, if I'd known I was going to stumble upon such a unique blend of awkwardness, I would've prepped some popcorn and maybe invited a couple of friends over for the spectacle. But alas, I was woefully unprepared for the sheer, transcendent level of discomfort this thread has blessed my eyes with.

Reading through it feels like I've taken a first-class trip into a parallel universe where up is down, left is right, and people think pineapple belongs on pizza. The comments here – it's like a poetry slam in a world where 'cringe' is the highest form of art.

I’m laughing, I'm crying, I'm questioning the fabric of reality – and that's just from the first few posts. I never knew reading something could feel like I’m doing yoga with my brain, contorting it into positions it was never meant to endure.

And can we just take a moment to appreciate the sheer stamina it must have taken to maintain this level of cringe from post to post? It’s like running a marathon, except instead of being cheered on by the crowd, they're all wondering how you're still upright and haven't collapsed from sheer embarrassment.

So kudos, my dear cringe Olympians. You have set a new world record in the sport of vicarious embarrassment, and I am both horrified and mildly impressed. Keep up the 'good' work. Can't wait to see what fresh horrors the next thread brings! I'll bring the popcorn.

 

[AlteredForms]

I thought I'd hit rock bottom when I accidentally watched "Sharknado 5,"

What are you talking about? Sharknado ain't cringe:

 

[Trunx81]

Gotta catch ´em all!

 

[Toots]

Well there won't be any hidden medical costs when it comes to STD screenings. Vietnamese + Spanish + Pale, I'm not even sure what to make of that, it's contradictory as people from those countries are usually brown skinned. I have to see some evidence OP, it doesn't add up. Also take a picture of that tiny ass you mentioned earlier.

Nice detective work there !
She's pale because she's upper class. Brown skinned asian are those historically working the fields, those with menial jobs. All her vietnamese relatives seem to be medical practicioners.
I'll try to get you a pic of that sweet tiny bottom, i might be able to bargain this at least...

Duuuuude. Enjoy it but just remember that if she didn't make you wear a condom then she doesn't make ANYONE wear a condom. All those other dudes, and you can be sure there are 2-3x more of them than she is admitting to you, are splashing inside of her as well.

I get it, I stuck my naked dick inside crazy a couple times as well. So far I won the disease/"I'm late" game of Russian roulette but you REALLY ought to watch out, or at least get that Prep HIV prevention drug for when you get with her.

You're right and i know it. I also turned the "your life is fucked for a night of pleasure" wheel and always came up on top till now. But luck runs out.
Big thanks for mentioning hiv prevention drug (which i totally forgot about) i'll get some next time.

The mere fact that you call making love "wetting my noodle" tells me that you're not ready

You might be right but i've been doing it 20 years + (i'm 37) it's too late to stop now

 

[EviLore]

Bro, don’t post her pics. Or any other personally identifiable information. This is 2023.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

What's the catch ?
She's polyamorous

So she’s a whore. Worse things have happened to people. Enjoy the ride!

 

[Toots]

Bro, don’t post her pics. Or any other personally identifiable information. This is 2023.

I was thinking an anonymous ass shot would not be a huge deal. You are totally right and I'm goddam dumb.
Please mods nuke everything if i do something like this or moronically adjacent.

 

[Toots]

Gotta catch ´em all!

If i catch anything, you'll let me use this pic as an avatar right ? Pretty please.

 

[AlteredForms]

Nice detective work there !
She's pale because she's upper class. Brown skinned asian are those historically working the fields, those with menial jobs. All her vietnamese relatives seem to be medical practicioners.
I'll try to get you a pic of that sweet tiny bottom, i might be able to bargain this at least...

Bro, don’t post her pics. Or any other personally identifiable information. This is 2023.

As long as she consents and the image is unidentifiable then I see nothing wrong EviLore .

 

[Toots]

What are you talking about? Sharknado ain't cringe:

replace the chainsaw by my dick and make it so that the lady shark guts don't blow up and it's a quite accurate depiction of my saturday night