I lived in Austin for a few years myself. I once saw two hobos making love near an emptier part of Zilker park.Fuck, I miss Austin, Texas.
Have you tried this shit that people were shilling on youtube? Idk if it's good or not but it might help2020 has fucked me in the ass, and without lube too.
First, my mom's cancer diagnosis. Then the corona shit. Then my grandpa died last week, and due to the coronavirus and me being a part of the vulnerable population, I couldn't even make it to his funeral. All of this is taking a severe toll on my mental health. My suicidal thoughts and urges have grown by a substantial amount. It's no longer just "I want to kill myself" it's "Here's how I can kill myself". No, I'm not going to go through with anything, but battling those thoughts and urges is really fucking tough. So if I've seemed to have more of a short fuse lately, I am sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you guys.
I just want this pain to go away. I want to feel happy. My boyfriend is amazing and wonderful support, but that doesn't make my suicidal thoughts go away. And it's not like I can go see my psychiatrist during this lol.
It's pretty obvious I'm a wimpy person. And yeah, I know, I should just suck it up. But damn I am a weakling. I'm trying, but I just break down every time I try to hold myself together.
Have you tried this shit that people were shilling on youtube? Idk if it's good or not but it might help
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its been a year since my panic disorder landed me in a psych ward for 8 days. Not sure if anyone remembers that thread I posted about it. I still appreciate the responses I got. Thanks again to those people who reached out.
full year of regular meds and not much has changed. I still start having breathing issues if I am out of my house for too long unless I take double dose of klonopin which sedates me to the point of being unsafe to drive anywhere anyway, at least it feels like it.
Ive made small strides. A year ago I literally went 2 months without leaving my apartment once. I force myself to get outside once a day now even if it’s just to walk to the mailbox. Every other day I drive my car. I usually just make it around the neighborhood a couple time before I start feeling the tremors and whatnot. I still have everything delivered (instacart, Amazon fresh). That’s been a little odd lately with all the stuff going on
I have an appointment on Tuesday, I’m pretty sure they are going to advise increasing dosage of the Mirtazapine I take nightly. I’ve been in a low dose (15mg) since being prescribed it in the psych ward a year ago. I had hoped to get better my own without needing increased chemical dependency but I’m failing on my own and time is ticking.
I usually end up turning around before I reach the doctors office and we end up communicating via phone or email. I’ve missed my last several in-office appointments like that. I think after a certain amount of time they can’t keep refilling my meds unless they see me in person. I could be wrong, just something I thought I heard.
I’m worried eventually they will recommend I get locked up for an extended stay next time and it will be weeks/months even before I get out. I don’t know how likely that it is to happen, I’m not an expert on “the system.”
When I was in the ward one dude had mentioned it was his third week and they still hadn’t given him an ETA on leaving. Most of the people in my section were there for self-harm and/or harm to others though, that wasn’t my case and never has been (I’m way too big a pussy to hurt myself or anyone else), for me they call it “failure to thrive.”
Its the weirdest shit ever. I went from working two jobs regularly and slowly feeling symptoms of anxiety increase over the course of a school year, culminating to where I couldn’t drive a 100 feet without feeling like I was having a heart attack or stroke.
Weird shit, man.
I could ramble on incoherently endlessly. my bad
typEd on phone sorry for typos
And it's not like I can go see my psychiatrist during this lol.
I had hoped to get better my own without needing increased chemical dependency but I’m failing on my own and time is ticking.
something like zoloft is better, i'd ask your doctor about it
I'm really feeling the big "SU....." word today. I heard therapists are doing in-home online but my only problem is my Internet is limited to 4g on my (budget) phone.
Bad shit stirring in my life now and there's no help therapist can do but if I can speak to one.
I would say my pain tolerance is high. I often don't even notice I have bruises on myself. :/ Though I never had a broken bone before and don't want to test that theory loli'm sure i'll ask more questions over time, for now tho here's one:
1. how's your pain tolerance?
in my experience, the disorder is a gift / curse of high pain thresholds mixed with significant pain amplification
Abstract thinking? Poor. I have a hard time reading people and situations. Communication over online makes life easier for me
I'm right handed and I'm not much of a reader.(books are hard to hold my attention to completion.) I do most of my reading online, but the last book I remember enjoying was Master of Doom about I'd Tech.geometry seems to strengthen the visual cortex, provide a wire frame structure of the universe
'philosophy is written in this grand book, which stands continually open before our eyes, i mean the universe, but can not be understood without first learning to comprehend the language and know the characters as it is written. It is written in mathematical language, and its characters are triangles, circles and other geometric figures, without which it is impossible to humanly understand a word; without these one is wandering in a dark labyrinth. '
are you left or right handed, what're some of your favorite books?
Reading other people emotions and non verbal communication. I take things literally unless it's painfully obvious.re: people and situations, can you expand, what're the things you have difficulty reading?
Just think about all the love and affection you've given your lovely cat over the years. It sucks losing a pet, but you've given the best quality of life they never could have even dreamed of!Taking my cat to the vet today...
He's an old cat and lately has not been eating much and has developed breathing problems.
I fear the worst and...