Support NeoGAF

[Lightning Count]

The reasons for doing so are as a follows.

Large multilayered burgers are damn near impossible to put into your mouth whole.
Your hands and fingers stay clean when you use cutlery.

So let's go through the the process I mentioned for those especially complex burgers.

Step 1 - remove the buns, this can get tricky when sticky melted cheese is involved. Check the freshness of the buns while you are at it.

Step 2 - remove salad, tomatoes, pickles etc.

Step 3 - separate burgers and if included bacon, cut burgers into chunks.

Step 4 - eat components in order of steps 1 to 3. So buns first, then salad, tomatoes etc then then the burger itself.

Naturally add or remove steps based on extras that maybe included like onion rings and the like.

 

[GHG]

So wait... you deconstruct the burger then eat it all separately bit by bit?

I don't even know what to say...

 

[Qurupeke]

Disgusting.

 

[Mental Atrophy]

Okay.

 

[Biochet]

The reasons for doing so are as a follows.

Large multilayered burgers are damn near impossible to put into your mouth whole.
Your hands and fingers stay clean when you use cutlery.

So let's go through the the process I mentioned for those especially complex burgers.

Step 1 - remove the buns, this can get tricky when sticky melted cheese is involved. Check the freshness of the buns while you are at it.

Step 2 - remove salad, tomatoes, pickles etc.

Step 3 - separate burgers and if included bacon, cut burgers into chunks.

Step 4 - eat components in reverse order of steps 1 to 3. So buns first, then salad, tomatoes etc then then the burger itself.

Naturally add or remove steps based on extras that maybe included like onion rings and the like.

stopped reading here. you're a monster

 

[squidyj]

why do I feel like I've read this topic before?

 

[singhr1]

Why the fuck did you order a burger then?!?

 

[Renpatsu]

You do you man, but what kind of burger even warrants this ritual?

 

[Maiorum]

Fucking what.

 

[DonMigs85]

I squish it as flat as possible and unhinge my jaw like a snek to take a bite of burger goodness

 

[- J - D -]

Relevant:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362

So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.

 

[rainz]

People bag on me for eating one thing at a time eg all my fries before touching the burger. But this.. this is way weirder than that... its not right..

 

[The Kree]

Maybe order a steak and salad and have some bread brought to the table next time.

Relevant:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362

So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.

The chef who makes this is an asshole.

 

[UrbanRats]

1. Order spaghetti with sauce.
2. Take a single strand of spaghetti with index finger and thumb.
3. "Wash" spaghetti from residual sauce, in glass of water.
4. Eat the cleaned out noodle.
5. Repeat until plate is clean.
6. Drink now-sauce-flavored water to finish off the meal.

 

[SuperBanana]

Then you have a coffee afterwards.

 

[Not]

 

[Wibblewozzer]

I do this when a burger is too messy. But instead of taking it apart I just start shredding it all up and in the end it's more like a burger salad. Not every bite gets every part of the burger, bun, and toppings but I try to keep it fairly even with each bite.

 

[Peter Ian Staker]

 

[Meicyn]

Relevant:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362

So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.

I make it a point to avoid places that serve skyscraper burgers like that bullshit above. The blending of flavors is an important part of the experience for me. That burger is more about the chef's ego than the customer's ability to eat it.

Nope, nope, and nope.

 

[weekev]

This is how OP eats a packet of M+Ms

 

[squidyj]

Ah, here we go, found a friend for OP

 

[Randy Monk]

Relevant:

So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.

Lay it on its side and eat it like a watermelon?

 

[Aselith]

You've made yourself into a monster

6. Drink now-sauce-flavored water to finish off the meal.

This actually made me feel a little nauseated.

 

[Tubobutts]

If you call it a deconstructed burger you could probably make millions off of hipster foodies.

 

[outsida]

You monster....

I ate a double cheese burger from Portillo's yesterday. Very messy and very delicious. I couldn't imagine ruining that by using a knife and fork.

 

[The Boat]

You should know I called the police on you.

 

[Premium Quality]

I can understand the knife and fork for huge burgers, but OP has taken it too far.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

I would argue it's not a 'burger' if you're seperating its parts. It's just a bunch of individual ingredients.

 

[Not]

Ah, here we go, found a friend for OP

D'awwwww

I would argue it's not a 'burger' if you're seperating its parts. It's just a bunch of individual ingredients.

It's like going to the flipping grocery store and just eating things out of the bag separately on the drive home

 

[MCN]

You are the worst person on earth.

 

[MC Safety]

New Yorkers elected Bill DiBlaso to be their mayor and he eats pizza with a knife and fork.

So I guess the moral of the story is anyone can be mayor of New York.

 

[shintoki]

Where is the Thor 2 The Dark World option?

 

[dh4niel]

People that deconstruct burgers to eat them are clearly psychopaths.

Unless it's one of those ridiculously tall burgers then it's fine.

 

[squidyj]

D'awwwww



It's like going to the flipping grocery store and just eating things out of the bag separately on the drive home

what's blowing my mind is the 4th post of each thread calls the op a monster.

 

[orochi91]

Relevant:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362

So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.

How the fuck is someone supposed to eat this?

I'd be compelled to use utensils at that point.

D:

 

[Prophet Steve]

Sure, just be aware it won't taste the same.

 

[EekumBokum]

So basically, you're not eating a burger.

 

[Not]

what's blowing my mind is the 4th post of each thread calls the op a monster.

 

[GoutPatrol]

How the fuck is anyone supposed to eat this?

I'd be compelled to use utensils at that point.

D:

Get messy while eating. Wash your hands after?

 

[eggandI]

That's no longer a burger, man

 

[Haunted]

Sounds suboptimal, OP.

 

[_Ryo_]

Why order a burger if you're gonna remove the buns and the toppings and eat the veggies as a salad?

At that point you'd be better off ordering an actual salad made of lettuce, onion, cheese, tomato, pickles, croutons, and ground beef.

Or you can go the pasta route. Pasta with cheese, and ground beef with garlic bread as the side.

Knowing you though, youd probably slice the bread into tiny bits and eat if with a fork.

:/

 

[Bluth54]

The only person I've ever seen do that sort of thing is Gordon Ramsey when tasting burgers on Kitchen Nightmares. Maybe the OP is secretly Gordon Ramsey?

 

[wildfire]

Your parents never told you to stop playing with your food?

 

[King Tubby]

This thread is going to get linked in the news article about how OP butchered and ate his neighbors.

 

[The Silver]

if this isn't grounds for a permanent ban then I don't know what is

 

[Not]

The only person I've ever seen do that sort of thing is Gordon Ramsey when tasting burgers on Kitchen Nightmares. Maybe the OP is secretly Gordon Ramsey?

Even Gordon eats the bun with the meat

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

So, you don't actually eat burgers.

 

[condigy]

Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxB-H6f3crY

 

[JoeBoy101]

OP, you're not eating a burger. You're eating a grilled patty with sides.