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Ex Girlfriend Situation

GHG

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Nov 9, 2006
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That's not far off!

She had that cushion made for me

I've seen this before.

Rip open the pillow and make sure she didn't stash it full of illegal substances.

It's a trap.
 

RJMacready73

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Jun 25, 2020
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You're quite possibly right. I was just totally blindsided as she was not like this at all before then
Mate it happens, don't bate yourself up about it but don't get dragged along like some teenager, we're all allowed to make the occasional dicks out of ourselves lol
 

EviLore

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Why is that? If someone appears to be that in to you that's a good thing, right?

I would always arrive at hers, dinner made, drink ready, clothes I had there ironed etc.

To be clear, I always looked after her too, it wasn't all one way 😂
Excessive clinginess pushes you into codependence with her, which may be what she wants but isn't good for you.
 

MrFancypants

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Dec 17, 2019
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Why is that? If someone appears to be that in to you that's a good thing, right?
I can’t speak for nush, or for anyone else, but people who tend to cling are the worst. You no longer just have to look after yourself through life, but you’ve now got to deal with them too. Texts every few seconds, calls if you don’t respond, a constant need for hand holding/hugs/kisses so she can stake her claim — nah, just not worth it.
 
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nush

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Oct 16, 2017
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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
Why is that? If someone appears to be that in to you that's a good thing, right?

I would always arrive at hers, dinner made, drink ready, clothes I had there ironed etc.

To be clear, I always looked after her too, it wasn't all one way 😂

It's clingy, possessive and possibly insecurity. That's some slang I've not had to drop for years becuse most women grow out of that phase.
 

McCheese

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No I'm 100% sure that he's not. He's met someone he's really in love with

Hmm how strange, I can't imagine a woman in her 40's would ditch a stable partner without an alternative waiting in the wings, the card and gifts make it seem like she feels guilty about it on some subconscious level. Does she work and support herself?

Regardless of the reason you need to move on and stop thinking about it, if she ever changes her mind and gives you a proper explanation then it's worth thinking about again, but until she does go have fun.
 

GHG

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Nov 9, 2006
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Why is that? If someone appears to be that in to you that's a good thing, right?

I would always arrive at hers, dinner made, drink ready, clothes I had there ironed etc.

To be clear, I always looked after her too, it wasn't all one way 😂

People in secure relationships (and who are individually secure with themselves) don't need to be overly clingy to one another, especially not in public.
 
Feb 26, 2015
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Hmm how strange, I can't imagine a woman in her 40's would ditch a stable partner without an alternative waiting in the wings, the card and gifts make it seem like she feels guilty about it on some subconscious level. Does she work and support herself?

Regardless of the reason you need to move on and stop thinking about it, if she ever changes her mind and gives you a proper explanation then it's worth thinking about again, but until she does go have fun.
Yes she works and supports herself, the only thing we've done is split the cost over a weekend (ie me eating her food and drinking her drink 😂)

She's never asked me for anything money wise, she's very proud of how she's coped bringing up a young son on her own for the last 3 odd years
 

Ionian

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People in secure relationships (and who are individually secure with themselves) don't need to be overly clingy to one another, especially not in public.

I loved huggin' an kissing my woman in publilc as I loved her. (More like I was hers to be honest).

Nothing wrong with it when in love.

Don't be weird and it's all good, nothing wrong with public affection. Just don't over-do it.

(Funniest thing is when you get cheers, impossible not to smile)
 
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MrFancypants

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People in secure relationships (and who are individually secure with themselves) don't need to be overly clingy to one another, especially not in public.
Exactly. Back when I did relationships, I didn’t feel the need to be around my partner 24/7. I could go a whole day without a text from them, or them from me, and it still worked out fine — until we split, obviously. And as for PDA, no thanks. It’s just cringe.
 
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Feb 26, 2015
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I loved huggin' an kissing my woman in publilc as I loved her. (More like I was hers to be honest).

Nothing wrong with it when in love.

Don't be weird and it's all good, nothing wrong with public affection. Just don't over-do it.

(Funniest thing is when you get cheers, impossible not to smile)
See I agree here, I love doing all this. Might make everyone around me physically sick but I'd always hold hands and show affection in public and private. I wouldn't go OTT in public but still, wouldn't be ashamed of it
 
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Ionian

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See I agree here, I love doing all this. Might make everyone around me physically sick but I'd always hold hands and show affection in public and private. I wouldn't go OTT in public but still, wouldn't be ashamed of it
Ain't nothing wrong with it in the slighest, just not OTT as you said :)
 
Mar 16, 2021
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It's weird, she says she doesn't want to date anyone. Maybe that's true, maybe it's not.

I think last weekend may be the last time we see each other...it's difficult to know. As soon as I turned up she was all over me and she instigated the walk upstairs to the bedroom. The sex has always been incredible and that night was no different.

I just don't understand how she can keep saying she is in love with me (and it was said with such passion) and yet can't do a relationship.
From my experience, an ex saying “I don’t want to date anyone,” is only to save face, either in a “not hurt your feelings” way, or to signal to other people that she’s “taking a break.” In reality she’s fucking a bunch of dudes on what she thinks is the down low.

She still wants to lead you on though, because you can be the guy to fall back on if need be. Don’t be a simp and hold out for her. Find another girl. If you’re lucky you’ll find one who doesn’t play manipulative games.
 

OneBigPuss

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Aug 15, 2020
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From my experience, an ex saying “I don’t want to date anyone,” is only to save face, either in a “not hurt your feelings” way, or to signal to other people that she’s “taking a break.” In reality she’s fucking a bunch of dudes on what she thinks is the down low.

She still wants to lead you on though, because you can be the guy to fall back on if need be. Don’t be a simp and hold out for her. Find another girl. If you’re lucky you’ll find one who doesn’t play manipulative games.
This. "I don't want to date anyone" or "I just don't want to be with anyone" is the polite "I don't want to be with you but fucking and talking sometimes is ok while im doing what i want". Had the same thing with my ex not so long ago when we were spending time together again and sleeping, then she went 650 km to see her male friend for a week. When i told her what i was feeling and that i thought that we will be together again she hit me with this shit. Hell even i was using it when i wanted to bang one girl but never to be with her.
 
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nush

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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
Her kids Dad is around. He pays his bills, has the kid every other weekend etc.

Yes she works and supports herself, she's very proud of how she's coped bringing up a young son on her own for the last 3 odd years


"On her own"

Mate you're getting played here, you think in three years she just decided to take her hot euro pussy out of 3 year deep storage for some dad dick with the quickness just because you're such a nice guy? Men in England are super fucking thirsty, she wasn't sitting around every weekend off planning how to be a better strong independent super mum.

You handwave and laugh it off but most people in this topic can see what's going on, she must have been feeding you bullshit right from the "I can't work out how to use Zoom, can you help me?".
 

MrFancypants

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I wonder how she is going to feel when she logs into Gaf today and sees this thread?
I know a guy who got dumped because his girlfriend at the time discovered his account on FileFront Forums. He was gutted, but not as gutted as her because she came across his thread about coming out.
 
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Gifmaker

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If it was just for the photos I'd think yeah, whatever but...she was all over me, all the time. We have a lot of mutual friends who saw us together a lot and they were all stunned when she ended it...they couldn't understand saying she absolutely doted on you, was always draped over you etc
My experience on relationships is limited, but I've delt with girls changing their minds all of a sudden a few times.

From all that you've told us, I suspect that there is in fact another man involved, at least. Maybe she didn't plan for this to happen. Maybe she really enjoyed being together with you, and then one night when she was out she was having a few too many drinks and ended up in bed with someone else. Now, she's having a bad conscience because she didn't want this to happen, but at the same time, she probably cannot stop thinking about the amazing sex that they had, so she's really torn between being with you for security and stability and having wild fun with the other guy. That's why her mood seems to swing so randomly. When she's putting her little boy to bed and he tells about those stories he heard from you, her mother instincts make her think fondly of you and how you are a keeper in theory. But when she's bored and horny, she can't help but think of the other guy and how she wants to continue experiencing that as well, and he's probably always just a textmessage away.

You're getting played, and your only logical move here is to remove yourself from her list of options in order to make her realize that in the long run, a keeper would be the better choice for her and her son. But that's something that you have to sit out, and it can be gutwrenching and hurtful. The only upside to this is that the infidelity has very likely already taken place, so it won't come as that harsh of a blow to you when the truth eventually will come out.
 

nush

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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
I know a guy who got dumped because his girlfriend at the time discovered his account on FileFront Forums. He was gutted, but not as gutted as her because she came across his thread about coming out.

I had a couple of dates with this girl and one time she implied that she had nudes on the internet. So naturally I asked to get linked up, "tee hee heee you'll have to find them yourself" she replied. So I used my best autist google-fu and came up with nothing.

Except the relationship topic on a forum she posted on, that she was very active posting in. Very enlightening, I no longer wasted any more of my time getting more dates with her. But I did troll the fuck out of her and watch in virtual real time as she'd update the topic. She wasn't actually interested in dating anyone seriously but liked the free meals a couple of times a week, she was fucking her ex boyfriend the whole time anyway.
 

MrFancypants

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I had a couple of dates with this girl and one time she implied that she had nudes on the internet. So naturally I asked to get linked up, "tee hee heee you'll have to find them yourself" she replied. So I used my best autist google-fu and came up with nothing.

Except the relationship topic on a forum she posted on, that she was very active posting in. Very enlightening, I no longer wasted any more of my time getting more dates with her. But I did troll the fuck out of her and watch in virtual real time as she'd update the topic. She wasn't actually interested in dating anyone seriously but liked the free meals a couple of times a week, she was fucking her ex boyfriend the whole time anyway.
Holy shit, man, she sounds like an absolute waste. I’m glad you managed to have a little fun with it in the end, though, but this just proves what utter cunts people can be.
 
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Tschumi

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Jul 4, 2020
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For the record the relationship pillow would live in my relationship cupboard even if i were in an ongoing relationships with a woman

Also clinginess =/= permanent, if you like the person you can be up front, tell them it's not what you want, and try to work it out
 
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Tschumi

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Jul 4, 2020
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I had a couple of dates with this girl and one time she implied that she had nudes on the internet. So naturally I asked to get linked up, "tee hee heee you'll have to find them yourself" she replied. So I used my best autist google-fu and came up with nothing.

Except the relationship topic on a forum she posted on, that she was very active posting in. Very enlightening, I no longer wasted any more of my time getting more dates with her. But I did troll the fuck out of her and watch in virtual real time as she'd update the topic. She wasn't actually interested in dating anyone seriously but liked the free meals a couple of times a week, she was fucking her ex boyfriend the whole time anyway.
Wow you remind me i know some girl who did nude modelling/something after highschool but refused to clue me in... Only she then told me that she was in the Boston marathon that year and lost hearing in one ear and i ran out of horny

Nice war story,i knew someone precisely the same back in my teens, last i heard she was boasting about doing her man's best friend while he was overseas

Great jugs tho :pie_thinking:

I'm saying I'd say "wow nice pillow" then chuck it in a cupboard and forget about it, waiting until she agrees that the house needs a clean out at which point I'll make my move
 
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Aug 26, 2018
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Shes poison. Yes, move away, forget, ignore, block and move on.

Saying this from past experience that I was lucky to have at an early age. When I say poison, I dont mean in an evil way. I mean they will constantly remind you they are there with random messages at random times out of nowhere....even a year or 5 years later. And you will constantly be in this limbo of thinking what could of been, should of been bla bla. Best decision is to take your shit, politely say it doesnt work for you and go cold on her. Live your life, move on because nothing will happen from this just mental torture. It took awhile, she tried many times to get in touch, id read the first few sentences and realize its the same bullshit and just delete the email and never reply. Now, 10 years later if we meet, it would be cool, we can be friends because all those feelings are gone. But as long as you have feelings for her, and she will from time to time pepper you with messages, you are fucked.

 
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ClosBSAS

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Dec 2, 2018
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Am dating a married woman...it's hard when you fall in love, but at the end of the day, I am the one having sex with her....keeping that distance has been hard but great in the long run. Just enjoy ur time with her op, don't be so pushy, she'll come around if it's mean to be and if ur supportive. Just let her be for now, enjoy her when u can.
 
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Am dating a married woman...it's hard when you fall in love, but at the end of the day, I am the one having sex with her....keeping that distance has been hard but great in the long run. Just enjoy ur time with her op, don't be so pushy, she'll come around if it's mean to be and if ur supportive. Just let her be for now, enjoy her when u can.
Thank you. I've left her be, she sent me a long message last night...there's hope on the horizon but I am playing it cool
 
Jan 21, 2019
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Tell her you signed up for Tinder and that you don't have time for games.

She's a friend with benefits. Keep the same energy and treat her as such, or you'll go down a darker path that you could've avoided especially since she communicated what she wanted. If your feelings gonna get in the way, just cut her off completely. Don't put your all into someone who plays the half.

Mostly this, if she keeps putting out, take it. Meanwhile, meet people.
 
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Feb 26, 2015
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How much has she taken you for? Be honest. Loans, cash gifts, jewellery, clothes, holidays, dinner, kids presents?
Honestly. Nothing. Like I said before, the only money I've spent is on shared expenses. Food, alcohol etc.

She's never asked for anything, i bought her some nice flowers for her birthday. That's it. Even when we've had nights out she's bought rounds of drinks
 
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Nester99

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Thank you. I've left her be, she sent me a long message last night...there's hope on the horizon but I am playing it cool

why?

your a reasonable looking dude who does not seem to be a dud. You run a singles group and if you have a reasonably good job you should be swimming in 40 year old pussy.

let this one go and put on your swim trunks
 
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