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Ever met anyone who was straight and wanted to be gay? Is that possible?

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NLB2

Banned
aoi tsuki said:
If i were gay, i'd definitely be getting more action.
I used to think that way, but then I found a girl who wants it more than I do. Its awesome - I can get action anytime I want without having to go gay.
 

Crow357

Member
I had a friend that was having problems with his wife and he used to say: Ya know, being gay wouldn't be all that bad... all except for that taking it up the ass part.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
I would have made the best gay. I was robbed, it's a tragedy. Everything about me is really gay except for my sexual preference. I like pink things, shopping, flowers, Fashion, I kiss all my friends... I just really like girls and really don't like boys at all.
In the UK there's a term - metrosexual. It's for men like me who live in and around the city and are gay in everyway except sexually.
I love the way me and my friends are. We fucking rule, going tanning together and generally mucking about, talking about hair and clothes and whatever. Also, we've never had a problem with girlies. They seem to like it. We might seem like nice boys but we are generally hostile bastards towards most other groups of men - There's something funny seeing your friend wearing a pink vest top and ripped flares fighting, with, then kicking the ass of a football fan in the pub. Especially when your friend has the most outrageously gay hair ever.
Beware the METROSEXUAL!*
:)

*Post written 30% tongue-in-cheek
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
etiolate said:
I take baths instead of showers. That's pretty gay, but not gay enough to write for Spong it seems.
How is taking baths instead of showers gay?
 

etiolate

Banned
Folder said:
How is taking baths instead of showers gay?

I am not sure? Perhaps because they only sell bath products, such as bubble soap and bath salts to the female audience and the manliest of these things is Mr. Bubble. It's just what I hear when I say "I'm gonna go take a bath".
 

Jim Bowie

Member
Folder said:
How is taking baths instead of showers gay?

Bathing is neutral, like eating a sandwich. It's neither straight, nor gay.

bum BEEEEEEE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

I've never met a person who wished that they could be gay, but didn't. They'd just up and have sex with a man. It's not like wishing you could fly. You can really become gay and it doesn't seem to hard. Except getting used to the anal sex. Because virginal sex is always awkward.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Jim Bowie said:
Bathing is neutral, like eating a sandwich. It's neither straight, nor gay.

bum BEEEEEEE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

I've never met a person who wished that they could be gay, but didn't. They'd just up and have sex with a man. It's not like wishing you could fly. You can really become gay and it doesn't seem to hard. Except getting used to the anal sex. Because virginal sex is always awkward.
*runs for hills*
WTF?
 

Odnetnin

Banned
not possible. If you did. He probably was a closeted homosexual to begin with.

/ looks at CVXfreak. Hellllooooo. :lol
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Odnetnin said:
not possible. If you did. He probably was a closeted homosexual to begin with.

/ looks at CVXfreak. Hellllooooo. :lol
What does all this *mean*?
 

White Man

Member
I've got a little lisp, and I've been working on my limp wrist.
Women are a drag, I think I wanna be a faggot, man.
A mincing ninny, prancing fairy, merry little queen.
A Bruce Labruce wet dream, a Nancy Boy with wings.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be

Shock the middle class, take it up your punk rock ass.
You rub your little thing, when you see phony dykes in Penthouse magazine.
So what's the difference Mr. Cream Rinse, yuo just need a man.
A beefy leather fag, to take you out in drag oh yeah.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be

Call me a faggot, call me a butt loving, fudge packing queer.
But I don't care 'cause it's the straight in straight-edge,
that makes me wanan drink a beer and be a pansy, and be a homo.

Shock the middle class, take it up your punk rock ass.
You rub your puny thing, when you see studs with tight jeans ass you on the street.
Who wears short shorts? You wear short shorts.
You're so full of shit
Why don't you admit that you don't have the balls to be a queer.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be a homosexual.

Of course, that song is just a response to the ultra-tight homophobic party anthem "I Don't Wanna be a Homosexual" by the Sloppy Seconds:

People are telling me
That I'm missing out on the fun
'Cause I don't go anywhere
And I don't meet anyone

But I know how rumors fly
When you're a lonely guy
And I'm here to tell you it's a lie

There's strange things going on
At night most everywhere
You know those places well
And you've never seen me there

I walk by other men
And I don't notice them
But then those rumors start again

So I'm gonna tell the world
I don't wanna be a homosexual
I'm gonna find a girl
'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual
I guess that it's okay
If other guys are gay
But my hormones are one-directional
And I don't wanna be a homosexual

Somebody tell me what I did to start this talk
Is it the way I look; is it the way I walk?

Is it the clothes I wear
That make the people stare?
Is it the way I comb my hair?

I'm only hoping maybe there will come a day
When I can make them understand that I'm not gay

But till that day is here
I guess I'll live in fear
And I curse the day I pierced my ear

There's nothing wrong with me
I don't wanna be a homosexual
Know what I want to be
And I don't wanna be a homosexual

Soft boys and closet queens
Think Judy Garland's keen
But I don't think she's nothing special
And I don't wanna be a homosexual

So now I'm wondering if maybe they're not right
I've gone all paranoid and I can't sleep at night

I went to see the shrink
What did the doctor think?
I swear to God I saw him wink

I pray that I am wrong
I don't wanna be a homosexual
Why did I write this song
If I don't wanna be a homosexual?

I hope it's not too late
For them to set me straight
I'm gonna see a real professional
'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual

No
No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no

I don't wanna be a homosexual . . .

I don't wanna go with guys named Seamus
I don't wanna be rich and famous
I don't wanna go to a French art festival
I don't wannt be a homosexual

I guess that it's okay
If other guys are gay . . .
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Suerte said:
I agree with this post. I've probably honked more tittays than Black Stallion himself.
Lies! Girls dig gay guys until they *get over them* at about 14.
Also, more than Black Stallion? Come on, at least keep your claims within the bouds of reality. So let's think - His mummy has twelve 'ripple-titties' down her front, two on her back. I hear he spends at least seventeen minutes a day tweaking each one. That's a lot dude...
 

Suerte

Member
Folder said:
Lies! Girls dig gay guys until they *get over them* at about 14.
Also, more than Black Stallion? Come on, at least keep your claims within the bouds of reality. So let's think - His mummy has twelve 'ripple-titties' down her front, two on her back. I hear he spends at least seventeen minutes a day tweaking each one. That's a lot dude...

Wtfz dudor?

Only last night some shorty was like all up in my space sayin' "you be puttin all dem loverods in yo mouth?" and then she forced me to feel her big ass tittays and then she was like "just put yo junk between them"

And that's what happened and does happen every night i go out.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Suerte said:
Wtfz dudor?

Only last night some shorty was like all up in my space sayin' "you be puttin all dem loverods in yo mouth?" and then she forced me to feel her big ass tittays and then she was like "just put yo junk between them"

And that's what happened and does happen every night i go out.
And so Black Stallion's omnipresent fantasy clicks back to start...
I wonder if we'll both get a PM?
:lol
 

Jim Bowie

Member
Suerte said:
Wtfz dudor?

Only last night some shorty was like all up in my space sayin' "you be puttin all dem loverods in yo mouth?" and then she forced me to feel her big ass tittays and then she was like "just put yo junk between them"

And that's what happened and does happen every night i go out.

Shit. Suerte, teach me to be gay.




Although drunk girls are not my bag.
 

Socreges

Banned
Wouldn't you bragging about honking titties be like me bragging about squeezing penises?

Oh, the joys of being a heterosexual male! Casually and indiscriminately grasping at cock!
 

Suerte

Member
Don't be no playa' hatin'!

I may honk their titties, but they will honk my crotch right back most of the time.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Suerte said:
Don't be no playa' hatin'!

I may honk their titties, but they will honk my crotch right back most of the time.
I declare this thread to be
OFFICIALLY FUCKED
 

cvxfreak

Member
Odnetnin said:
not possible. If you did. He probably was a closeted homosexual to begin with.

/ looks at CVXfreak. Hellllooooo. :lol

:(

Before I made this topic I spent three hours writing my latest FAQ.

People have no idea how boring those are to write sometimes. :lol
 

Cimarron

Member
My question is this....

A lot of Straight men love to see lesbian women make out. Do gay men like to see lesbian women bump uglies? BTW I'm totaly serious asking this question.
 

Odnetnin

Banned
Cimarron said:
My question is this....

A lot of Straight men love to see lesbian women make out. Do gay men like to see lesbian women bump uglies? BTW I'm totaly serious asking this question.

um.


men like women. men love women making out

gay men don't like women. Ergo. No


Think about what you're asking. Its not about what orientation the people they're looking at; its about whether or not they were interested in the first place.
 

Roshamboi

Banned
I'll be honest i'm not gay at all, but i did let my best friend screw me up the ass once. Does it mean i want to do it again? Hell no. Does it mean anything? Not really i just wanted to experiance it. And i even got my other friend to all me to screw him while he screwed his girlfriend.

I'm now in a relationship with a women and i cant complain. And i dont think i'll be going back to man ass anytime soon.

Roshi
 

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Roshamboi said:
I'll be honest i'm not gay at all, but i did let my best friend screw me up the ass once. Does it mean i want to do it again? Hell no. Does it mean anything? Not really i just wanted to experiance it. And i even got my other friend to all me to screw him while he screwed his girlfriend.

I'm now in a relationship with a women and i cant complain. And i dont think i'll be going back to man ass anytime soon.

Roshi
TRITOID 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO
 

cvxfreak

Member
Roshamboi said:
I'll be honest i'm not gay at all, but i did let my best friend screw me up the ass once. Does it mean i want to do it again? Hell no. Does it mean anything? Not really i just wanted to experiance it. And i even got my other friend to all me to screw him while he screwed his girlfriend.

I'm now in a relationship with a women and i cant complain. And i dont think i'll be going back to man ass anytime soon.

Roshi

:O
 
Roshamboi said:
I'll be honest i'm not gay at all, but i did let my best friend screw me up the ass once. Does it mean i want to do it again? Hell no. Does it mean anything? Not really i just wanted to experiance it. And i even got my other friend to all me to screw him while he screwed his girlfriend.

I'm now in a relationship with a women and i cant complain. And i dont think i'll be going back to man ass anytime soon.

Roshi

I hope to god you're joking.
 

hXc_thugg

Member
GamerDiva said:
That's because we know we can have a good time with them and they won't try and get into our pants. :)

That's why I pretend to be gay. Then I hang out with all my female friends and slip some GHB into their drinks. Date-rape orgies are the best.
 

GamerDiva

Banned
Azwethinkweiz said:
Couldn't you just do that with other women?

Not really. A lot of women are catty and I'd much rather hang out with gay guys that are truly sincere and brutally honest when I need to hear it. Plus they have a lot better fashion sense than a lot of the women I know, not to mention that gay guys always know where the parties are at.
 

nitewulf

Member
well...nah, i dont wish i was gay, but i do realize i could probably have better relationships if i was gay. being a man, i understand how another man thinks...women, i dont get.
 

XS+

Banned
nitewulf said:
well...nah, i dont wish i was gay, but i do realize i could probably have better relationships if i was gay. being a man, i understand how another man thinks...women, i dont get.

:lol I'm sorry, but...the health of a relationship isn't contingent on how well you THINK you know women..or men. Whenever anyone claims to not "understand" women, I can't help but laugh at the sheer self-importance of such a statement. You act as if women were of a different species, an alien entity predisposed to behavior that isn't just as discernable in any number of men. If you don't "get" women, don't get involved with them. Why waste their time?
 
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