My ideal game?
First and foremost, it would be an absolute game. Just think about what a game is. It's an experience which takes place outside the confines of reality and empowers us to experience pure unadulterated bliss. But so far, all games have fallen as short of this ideal as your garden variety porn star does of an Onlyfans experience. The problem is that games so far lack a certain qualitas, this is to say, they lack the touch of reality.
But just what is the touch of reality? Do you remember that scene in Batman where he is at the bottom of the cave, and in order to excape, he has to make the long jump? If you don't, it's on youtube. Batman cannot make the jump while he is tied to the rope. Batman needs the possibility of death to connect his leap (videogames) with the other side (the touch of reality).
Now I am not saying that we need to be able to kill and die in games for pleasure, though I suppose in the far off dialectical distance, that is what I am saying. Games in recent years have made some promising syntheses toward this ideal. The rise of hero modes is a huge step in the right direction, though a smaller step back is also taken by the famous cliche “Game over, play again.” In my ideal game, once you are dead, you are dead forever.
Think of the dread and the jitters the first time your Onlyfans girlfriend slowly strips herself naked, jacket, sweater, shirt, undershirt, bra, tassels, for you and your buddies. That’s because you know that THIS IS IT. Playing Dark Souls should be just like that, you have to manipulate your joystick with infinite care and precision.
But this must be attended with a constant feeling of progress. To return to the girlfriend metaphor, just think of what it is like chatting with your buddies on Discord while she is stripping. Every moment is a deeper initiation into a holy secret. I want to be flying through my ideal game like I am Superman unencumbered by anything, even rings. To feel hard, strong, and unstoppable. Hear me, I am king of this world, and also death, its destroyer, look on me, all who dare, and despair. For comparison's sake, this is how I feel when I play through the first few worlds of Super Mario World. This is the feeling of existential depth.
We are also coming closer to this ideal in terms of graphics. My ideal is ultra hi res, higher than the real world, maybe 24k? As well as frames per second, we are still pretty far off from my ideal. I just find it a lot easier to escape into bliss at higher FPS, my relationship with the gf has gotten a lot deeper, if you know what I mean, since I started streaming at 120 fps, but I still feel like there is a realm of purer and truer ecstasy the higher I get, though there is no reason to be unrealistic about it. 640 fps ought to be enough for most people, though I guess I will see when we get there. When she’s takin’ a dickin’ there are no limits.
My ideal game would also take a page from World of Warcraft in that I want to spend decades absorbed into this world. Just like being really choosy about which girls I subscribe to, I want it to be a world that I can give my entire social life to and not be second guessing myself every couple months.
Everyone knows the secret to a healthy relationship is fun, that is why I don’t think games should be realistic, but rather should create another world which need not have any semblance to our world which we can dip in and out of. I guess since I am bound to continue this OF metaphor, some days you want a blonde, some days a brunette, some days an RPG, some days a redhead, some days a dating simulator, some days a downright whore with a psychology degree.
This means that a game should not try to wrest too much commitment from us. When it comes down to it, when the gangbang is all said and done, all you really wanna do is just chat about it on resetera with your buddies. We have seen the rise in the past few decades of games that seem to demand the abandonment of all life just to be able to start and personally, I don't have the time energy and commitment to do something like that.
I have noticed that augmented reality has started to get pretty big lately. At the gym for example, they have an exercise bike which is hooked up to a modded Streets of Rage, so that the more you race, the more you rage.
This can be pretty cool sometimes, though in many ways it is a distraction from the terrible pain you buy to get the pump. Fuck, do y’all know what it is like sending out dick pics with a six pack in the foreground?
I tell you, those were the days, but as a married man, I don’t really have time for that anymore. My family is mow the most important thing in my life and honestly, the idea of wasting my life staring at a computer screen just pales to the richness of teaching my sons (we just had triplets) to ride a bike. Yeah, occasionally I’ll play a bit of Farmville or Angry Birds while I am waiting at the doctor’s office, and that’s pretty fun.
So that’s my ideal game