I'm not really sure what you're asking here.
I'm speaking more about behavior and personality than looks.These dudes are totally just platonically cuddling. There's no way they could be doing the gay cause they have beards and chest hair:
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I lit up one of my graduate students...
- Thread starter bishoptl
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I was ranked the best by the students for both years. That's for your concern though.
If your girl slapped on a strap on and laid into your ass until you shot your load, would you feel less masculine?
Hasn't been my experience. In fact the two most effeminate guys I have ever known are straight, and like half the people I keep contact with anymore are gay. Doesn't really seem like a logical conclusion anyway.
I understand where you're coming from but if you're secure in your manhood you wouldn't give a damn what anyone thinks. My group of friends show affection all the time and not once have we thought to say "no homo". That's crazy.
Stop with the technospeak and tell us what you're really asking!
Once you come across your fair share of "straight acting gay guys" you will rethink "how a gay person behaves."
A lot of really cool guys I would never expect to have been gay are, and that took me by complete surprise, which caused me to completely destroy the notion in my head that gay men are effeminate men.
Edit: basically, your experience is completely anecdotal evidence and should be treated as such.
A lot of really cool guys I would never expect to have been gay are, and that took me by complete surprise, which caused me to completely destroy the notion in my head that gay men are effeminate men.
Edit: basically, your experience is completely anecdotal evidence and should be treated as such.
Yes.
Apathy does not equal security in one's manhood. While the notion this saying conveys is admirable, it is not practical. Society and our role in it only has meaning when we care.
It's a different matter from holding the belief that one's sexuality should not matter.
Okay well I think this answer pretty much speaks for itself.
There's this ancient idea ingrained in people throughout history (and yes I do mean ancient, I briefly studied it in the context of Norse Mythology) that penetration makes someone more feminine and that is bad. Even the penetrator was not seen as feminine even though both were men having sex together.
It's just total bullshit and just some made up idea that has been passed down through history and that people have ingrained in their heads. It does not actually exist, and getting fucked does not in fact make you less masculine. The idea just exists today because society is so obsessed with masculinity that they get scared of anything that could possibly make them look less masculine.
In fact in my opinion having the balls the tell someone you want fucked and not thinking it makes you any less of a man is 100 times more masculine.
I've never bought into the whole 'dont ever care what other people think' thing, sorry. I'm secure in my manhood. I'm not a homophobe and I'm not a stereotypical 'macho' dude, either. But I do enjoy being seen as masculine, especially by girls. Not that I go out of my way to be seen like that, but I like being a guy's guy for the most part.
Dont get me wrong, I think the 'no homo' shit is stupid. I wouldn't ever use that phrase just cuz it sounds like some high-school speak.
Would it be out of the realm of possibility that maybe gay guys often feel more comfortable opening up to girls rather than guys and with their ability to be friends with girls without the complications of sexual tension, tend to develop effeminate traits?
This idea that gay guys aren't more feminine on average is completely new to me, and probably would be to a LOT of people, too.
crowphoenix
Banned
What?
It's not out of the realm of possibility, but the problem is that you are discussing them as "Gay Guys" rather than as people. You aren't allowing them the same chance to be unique, different, weird, fucked up, etc as the rest of the world.
Sexual tension is not inherit an any relationship. Just because a straight guy and a gay guy are friends, there is no reason whatsoever to think there is sexual tension at all.
Are you someone that doesn't believe in a man and a woman being friends without sexual tension?
But you're basing this completely on your own anecdotal assumption, which in my case would be the complete OPPOSITE of yours.
I can say maybe some guys use effeminate behavior to establish with everyone else that they are gay, but I really don't know that, and to tell you the truth I know WAY more effeminate straight guys than I do gay men.
Hell, most of the gay people I know find effeminate men unattractive and unappealing.
As for "making it established that you're really not hitting on a guy," do you say "no incest" when you hug your mother? "No hetero" when you high-five a girl friend? If these sound obscene to you, then understand why "no homo" maybe obscene to someone else.
Ugh. dude.
Just because someone is gay does not mean there is instantly sexual tension between them and every guy. The vast majority of my friends are dudes. My boyfriend is also a dude. As am I.
Just cause there's a dick there doesn't mean I want it in or around me.
les papillons sexuels
Banned
Myself and other gay guys i know go to the gym 3 times a week, so no.
hidden offline
Neo Member
Nice try dude, you know you want everyone you meet. Just like I want every woman I meet.
So you get to choose what masculinity means while we ignore what its generally meant for thousands of years? The definition of the word is basically just 'typical male characteristic'. Gay guys are a minority, so 'typical' in this case would generally be the penetrator, not a person getting fucked in the ass, as thats how the male/female relationship has worked for thousands of years. You cant just come along and change the definition because it suits you.
Really, the direction you're heading would basically mean a complete breakdown of any and all 'masculine' and 'feminine' characteristics.
Pretty much. All these gay guys in incredible shape make me feel less masculine each day.
The line "complications of sexual tension" sure seems like you were implying that.
The fuck? They ARE gay guys. I'm using that term because thats what they are.
How am I not allowing them the chance to be unique? I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never once said that all gays are always 'x' and never anything else. You guys are just putting words in my mouth at this point.
freenudemacusers
Member
Whoa when did this thread turn into assplay pt 2
I would never be late for this class.
Is that T.O?
Woah woah woah, let's not go throwing around the "C" word here.
Nope, this is an incredibly unfortunate post. If you actually would be offended for the reasons you just described, it's coming from a place of insecurity. Sorry to be blunt.
None of this is right. You can't recognize gay people on sight; nor is "no homo" in any way a direct comment on one's appearance like "hey, you look like a guy" is. Furthermore, there's no reason to just make blanket assumptions about what people tend to pride themselves on, because making a mistake in person with one outlier is all it takes to offend someone.
In all honesty, that'd be a perfect world for me. I myself choose not to abide by societies rules of masculinity because I don't agree with them. I think they should change. So y'know what dude? You can change it because it suits you. You can define your own masculinity however you damn well please. No one should have to act a certain way just because they feel like they have to or because society is telling them to.
If someone thinks I'm masculine? cool
If someone think I'm feminine? also cool
It still doesn't change how I define myself.
dragonlife
Member
With your arrival, baby. I'll go get our equipment.
Only if you're trying to read it that way.
I never said 'in absolutely every situation'. I didn't think it was complicated. Friendships between guys and girls often have sexual tension. A friendship between a gay guy and a girl would obviously alleviate most, if not all of it, which would make being friends less complicated.
freenudemacusers
Member
I'm new be gentle
You can change what it means to you all you want, but that doesn't change what it means to the rest of the world.
But what if the girl is straight? Then there would still be the possibility of sexual tension. This is the exact same thing as if a gay man and straight man were friends.
I'm really trying hard not to talk in any absolutes.Nope, this is an incredibly unfortunate post. If you actually would be offended for the reasons you just described, it's coming from a place of insecurity. Sorry to be blunt.
None of this is right. You can't recognize gay people on sight; nor is "no homo" in any way a direct comment on one's appearance like "hey, you look like a guy" is. Furthermore, there's no reason to just make blanket assumptions about what people tend to pride themselves on, because making a mistake in person with one outlier is all it takes to offend someone.
But to deny that certain groups of people may have a tendency towards different behavior or characteristics seems naive to me.
CoffeeJanitor
Member
I used to use "no homo" as a joke. Then I wizened up.
You could have said the same thing about calling someone a faggot a while back. "Oh I don't mean it like that, I mean it as a synonym for moron" -- Yeah, it doesn't make it okay.
Sure, I just don't think that applies when looking at sexuality.
That sounds fucking exquisite. Let's start right now.
1) It doesn't mean the same thing to the rest of the countries of the world
2) It doesn't mean the same thing within different parts of different countries around the world
3) It doesn't mean the same thing within different communities within different parts of different countries around the world
4) The concepts are based on supremely biased written histories that overwhemingly favor caucasian males regardless of actual human behavior as a scientist would use to describe human beings as a species
5) The concepts are wholly arbitrary and invented and meaningless in the first place
6) No one has to change what it means to them for it to mean something different than it means to you
Nothing strikes you as dissonant about this?
That's the whole point though.
Society's idea of masculinity has NOT always been what it is today, nor is it going to stay the same. In fact it's completely different in places around the world even today! Change doesn't just happen instantly, it happens because someone or some people think "hey, I don't like this, I'm going to change it."
So don't act like this idea of masculinity that you have is the one and only absolute definition, because it is most definitely not.
In both cases, the sexual attraction would only go one way. So long as both people are privy to each other's sexual preferences, it shouldn't complicate things as there's probably no chance of anything happening. That lack of possibility results in a lack of 'tension'.
Kind of like how even though I'm straight, there would likely be no sexual tension between me and Salma Hayek.
crowphoenix
Banned
You said that being gay is more feminine than being straight. So, yes, you did say all gays are always X.
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