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[rokkerkory]

Best way to get a girl is to ignore em

 

[jond76]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZChD_Gni8U

Hee hee hee. First thing I thought of. We must be old...

 

[nullset2]

God damn, OP. If you're going to be a sociopath about this, you might as well be a smart one. Here is a recipe for success, no empathy required:

1. Study up on your neuroscience.

2. Learn behaviors you can perform around her to increase her brain's dopamine levels. More dopamine in her brain will make her seem more alert, talkative, and inclined to move around and do things. You know, what humans consider "happy."

3. Learn to avoid behaviors that decrease her brain's serotonin levels. Serotonin is what holds back feelings of anxiety, anger, and fear. You will know her serotonin levels are low whenever she appears to "freeze" around you, talks less, seems irritable, and avoids contact with you. Whenever someone behaves like this, we call this emotion "scared."

4. Whenever you establish a pattern of keeping her dopamine and serotonin levels topped off, evolution mandates that her brain will begin to see you as a benefit to her ability to protect and copy her genetics through reproduction.

5. If your sexual characteristics meet the minimum standards her brain believes are good enough for a partner, she will form a pair bond with you, and you've got yourself a new girlfriend.

Unfortunately, at this point, you've failed at step 3, and she is scared of you. Probably best to cut your losses unless you think you can come up with a behavior that can counter both the lack of reward and the anxiety you actively cause whenever you're around her.

Quoting this to reflect on it later.

 

[SamuelSupreme]

OP read the following books

The System,
The Art of Seduction
The Art of War for Dating
The 48 Laws of Power

 

[docbon]

Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.

way too much (´・ω・`) for me.

 

[sooperkool]

The wording is fucked, but it seems like he meant that she should be upfront with her lack of interest in him, which is pretty true.

Hints are fucking stupid.

When you care about something, you tend to analyze it, and when that something isn't quite going our way, we overanalyze it and try to rationalize the situation. Or maybe that's just me.

Its sad that some of you don't understand that pat of learning to communicate healthily is learning how to have conversations about positive and negative things without being explicit. had she come out and said, "I'm not interested" he would be in here complaining about how she was an 'entitled' bitch and that he was just being friendly. Most of you have no idea how difficult this is for women too.

 

[Alcotholic]

OP are you outside her window now? Text her and see what her facial expression is when she looks at the phone. Sure fire way of knowing if she's interested.

Good advice. Based on personal experience, I can tell you this works quite well.

 

[lordfroakie]

So is "thirsty" a new thing now?

Ever been to OT community threads?

 

[RM8]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

This just has to be fake. I mean, 600 emails, the socks thing. Fake. Right?

Spoiler

(´･ω･`)

 

[kitchenmotors]

way too much (´・ω・`) for me.

(´･ω･`)

Ever been to OT community threads?

This realness, I can't.

 

[TUROK]

Its sad that some of you don't understand that pat of learning to communicate healthily is learning how to have conversations about positive and negative things without being explicit. had she come out and said, "I'm not interested" he would be in here complaining about how she was an 'entitled' bitch and that he was just being friendly. Most of you have no idea how difficult this is for women too.

Its sad that people on the internet feel the need to act like they're so socially adept, as if they have never been in a situation where social cues have been unclear or misinterpreted.

It's even sadder when that person's agenda comes through in a convenient hypothetical situation they created.

 

[RaikuHebi]

Don't worry man. Just immerse yourself in what you love! Forget about her.

 

[EmptySpace]

She didn’t reply since. I texted her that I didn’t like that and asked her to reject me if she wanted and just not to ignore my invitations because I was sick of all the waiting…

Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.

op is doing it for the other peeps.

the ones she's also rejecting.

 

[rtcn63]

Depending on context, it can often be difficult to to gauge others' thoughts. I've encountered situations where feelings were present, but couldn't be acted on. Or one side purposely leads the other on for the sake of amusement, feeding one's ego. Or in many cases, nothing is there, but we see what we want to see. A girl's nice to you, you think she wants your hot body. A boy opens a door, you think he may be cool with yaoi and will take you to Applebees next Friday. Their food is overrated, IMO.

What I've learned most? Stay the fuck away from everyone. People- male, female, shiba inu- who intentionally play these social interaction games, can go bugger off. Be someone with substance, find another in kind.

 

[Rentahamster]

Oh boy OP, you needed to take the hint a long time ago. Sorry it didn't work out. Don't let it get you down. Many dudes have to strike out a lot of times before they find someone receptive. Work on your people skills in the meantime.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Its sad that some of you don't understand that pat of learning to communicate healthily is learning how to have conversations about positive and negative things without being explicit. had she come out and said, "I'm not interested" he would be in here complaining about how she was an 'entitled' bitch and that he was just being friendly. Most of you have no idea how difficult this is for women too.

Yup.

 

[bernardobri]

Give the next date some space, OP.

 

[Winterfang]

The posts you need, OP.



What is that face for anyways?

Is the Denko face. Is from a story of a creepy guy that felt in love with a girl and he did absolutely everything wrong, it's intolerable to read.

 

[Derwind]

Best way to get a girl is to ignore em

This is golden. Yep, you can drop the drawers off any chick by keeping completely still.


Only way.

 

[Unparalleled_Mediocrity]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

This is the scariest thing I've ever read in my life. I'm fucking stunned right now.

 

[sooperkool]

Its sad that people on the internet feel the need to act like they're so socially adept, as if they have never been in a situation where social cues have been unclear or misinterpreted.

It's even sadder when that person's agenda comes through in a convenient hypothetical situation they created.

I am socially adept, I have been in situations where its unclear. you fix that by......get this..... asking someone to be clear!

Ex.

" I saw you had a Daft Punk shirt, are you into them? Blah, blah, blah. Would you like to get some coffee sometime?"


This is called starting a conversation and asking someone out! Guess what, you get to find out if they're interested right then!

 

[rtcn63]

This is golden. Yep, you can drop the drawers off any chick by keeping completely still.


Only way.

If it works in porn, it'll work in real life. Porn taught me that.

 

[Buzzati]

Its sad that some of you don't understand that pat of learning to communicate healthily is learning how to have conversations about positive and negative things without being explicit. had she come out and said, "I'm not interested" he would be in here complaining about how she was an 'entitled' bitch and that he was just being friendly. Most of you have no idea how difficult this is for women too.

Seems a little unfair, don't you think? The OP doesn't sound like a bad guy to me.

 

[3N16MA]

She used you for free meals but was not interested beyond that. Stay hydrated and enjoy your Sunday.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Long story short: It’s one-sided romance. (´・ω・`)

I texted her but haven’t got any reply (Seen ✓&#10003. I know I am done and just to vent.

Not sure if this is the right place. Anyway It’s my first thread here and, I just want to vent… (´・ω・`)

I met this girl about six months ago at my workplace (we are not in the same office though), and we started to do lunch together about once a week or two (´・ω・`)

When I asked her for lunch (I kept asking her once a week), she always replied yes and even if it’s no she would come up a reason. Every time, I brought her to a new restaurant and we did have some very nice conversations (at least to me) (´・ω・`)

At the same time, I started to text (Whatsapp) her more but she’s not that responsive. I thought it’s ok because I could not expect people to reply to my every single message (´・ω・`)

Sometimes I just wanted to share with her and she may not relate. Still, I always tried to bring up something fresh and relevant and encourage her to voice out her thoughts more (´・ω・`)

... although she rarely did.

From February, she started to become evasive about my lunch proposals but I still managed to get her out with me (´・ω・`)

And we still had pleasant conversations when we met (´・ω・`)

I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

There were many times (during our lunch times) I asked her out for movies/walk in park/dinner and she always said yes (´・ω・`)

She even proposed some movies and suggested a place for us to go (´・ω・`)

But when I make a proper invitation the very next day, she just acted evasive. At first, she declined with reasons, and then she just didn’t reply at all...

I kept texting her (with things may interest her and we have in common) but she was just ignoring my messages almost entirely... I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome) but she always rejected me at the last minute, again with reasons (about friends/work/etc.)...

I knew this could not be kept long so I stopped contacting her earlier this month.

Then, only three days later, I happened to see her at the workplace so I again asked her for lunch for the week before Easter… She said yes (´・ω・`)

... but didn’t live up to it. Since I knew she’s busy for that week so I didn’t quite mind and instead asked her out for the Easter (via Whatsapp):

Me: It’s a long holiday; maybe we can find a day free and go out somewhere (´・ω・`)
She: where
Me: (´・ω・`)
She: which one
Me: (´・ω・`)

She didn’t reply since...

I texted her that I didn’t like that and asked her to reject me if she wanted and just not to ignore my invitations because I was sick of all the waiting…

So a few hours ago I sent her my last message. Instead of telling her I was hopelessly in love with her, I just told her that:

“pursuing someone desperately will creep them out… It’s better to make mistakes and then learn from them… (´・ω・`)”

It’s a short message. Not sure if it means anything or not but I guess it’s my last.

OK. Time to let go now. It’s hard though…

Sorry I didn’t realize it would be this long... as I just wanted to vent.

Share if you have any thoughts/experiences (´・ω・`)

 

[Ultimadrago]

Is the Denko face. Is from a story of a creepy guy that felt in love with a girl and he did absolutely everything wrong, it's intolerable to read.

I see.

 

[Winterfang]

She used you for free meals but was not interested beyond that. Stay hydrated and enjoy your Sunday.

A girl from work that I always stare, came to my cubicle and say that she wanted to eat steak for lunch but that she couldn't afford it. She said that she would like someone to "share her company".

She must had though she was some kind of big prize and that I was into her. But I just stared because there's a strick code of clothing in my office and she is the only one with cleavage, so is a little big distracting. She is nice though, so I just got a group and we all chip in and eat steak together.

Edit:

I see.

You don't. You have to read it to yourself to really get it, is so awkard to read, it makes OP look like a Casanova.

 

[Confidence Man]

Thought I was in that Amy Schumer thread for a sec.

This is all I could think of as I read the first post.

 

[MartyStu]

OP, never do what you just did. 'Confessing' is NOT a thing.

Imagine if a girl you barely knew/found unattractive did that shit to you.

Protip: stay away from workplace 'romance.' It may seem convenient, but it is hella awful if things do not go exactly perfect (and they will not).

 

[rokkerkory]

Whats up with all those smilies btw?

Good now ur done... Move on!!!

 

[TangerineCloud]

For some reason I read the whole thing, I'm pretty sure it isn't real. At least I hope it isn't.

Yeah, by the third page it seemed like the OP was a little too oblivious. But man, even though it's likely fake, that was quite a journey.

 

[terrisus]

You can keep pretending that you have this amazing grasp on social cues and nonverbal interaction, though.

Its sad that people on the internet feel the need to act like they're so socially adept, as if they have never been in a situation where social cues have been unclear or misinterpreted.

It's even sadder when that person's agenda comes through in a convenient hypothetical situation they created.

Someone seems bitter.
Salty, even.

 

[rokkerkory]

OP, never do what you just did. 'Confessing' is NOT a thing.

Imagine if a girl you barely knew/found unattractive did that shit to you.

Protip: stay away from workplace 'romance.' It may seem convenient, but it is hella awful if things do not go exactly perfect (and they will not).

This is man law

 

[nateeasy]

 

[Paper Sparrow]

OP, I am going to tell you a story from a girl's point of view.

There was this guy I worked with that had an interest in me. He asked if I wanted to go for coffee. With most guys I have encountered, they seem to understand the soft no. I assumed he was no different. I didn't want to give the definite no as it might make work life awkward. Everything is good right?

Nope.

He was convinced I was angry at him. I told him of course I wasn't. He seemed to take this as some sort of sign and he wrote me a note (I never gave him my number, thank god) that basically said I was sending mixed signals. After this point I was done with dealing with him, so I mentioned having a boyfriend. You think after that, it would stop right?

Nope.

He gets more obsessive over me to the point where I notice him staring at me for periods of time. He gives me more notes, asking for a reply. I'm not going to reply dude. -.-

Needless to say, I carry pepper spray with me now.

I'm not saying you are as creepy as that guy OP (you're getting close), but imagine how it is for the girl on the receiving end. Sure, maybe she should outright say, "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.", but you need to take a hint.

 

[Sapiens]

You remind of this guy used to work with. Besides being a human bag of shit, he would hit on EVERY girl at work. Even if they had a boyfriend or not.

He would be rejected and then move on to the next one.

Some highlights:

-He once slid in behind a girl while she was sitting in her office chair.

-He once got really mad at a girl who was having issues with her boyfriend and blamed her for "only dating jerks!" And not dating him.

-He would only listened to "The Gladiator" soundtrack and talk about how great it was.

-He once tried to explain the intricacies of Resident Evil with a girl he had a crush on.

-He went through a co-worker's phone to get the phone number of a friend whom he colluded with in order to try to get in with the co-worker. He asked her friend to ask the co-worker to hang out at the mall. When the co-worker arrived at the mall, he was there to meet her with flowers! She was dating someone else at this time, of course, who he thought was a "jerk."

-He was eventually fired for having a picture of the girl he was rejected by on his desk. Seems innocent enough? No. It was a picture of her ass with the words ,"[co-worker]'s FAT ASS" written below it.

Wait, except he wasn't fired. He was given the "opportunity to quit" because he was the son of a higher-up in the company.

What a pathetic bag of shit. From this guy's point of view, he was the nicest, coolest person ever. I had a few run-ins with him myself, one of them involving him telling me he didn't think I was smart enough to solder (I was fixing something at work) and how "impressed" he was.

OP, I'm NOT saying you're a bag of shit like my old co-worker. I'm just saying there are some traits that are similar. Mostly the obliviousness and inappropriate sexual pushiness. If you can learn anything from this, learn that you need to reassess your romantic situation and not shit where you sleep.

 

[kazebyaka]

Whats up with all those smilies btw?

Good now ur done... Move on!!!

http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

 

[Jasup]

Seems a little unfair, don't you think? The OP doesn't sound like a bad guy to me.

But does she see the situation the same way?
There's this guy who's been sending messages 3 times a day, constantly asking her for a lunch, who keeps pursuing even though she tries to avoid him. So far things have been under control, he's been content and things have been manageable. However, she has no idea how he could react to rejection, seeing him being as pushy as he is what would happen if he were to be rejected?

We can make the assessment about the OP, because he's here telling his side of the story and we can see his reactions. That's the luxury the girl doesn't have.

 

[Necromanti]

I wouldn't be able to count all the guys who have harassed my friends despite them showing no interest. It wouldn't matter if she rejected every invitation or avoided replying as much as possible, because they would still continue like clockwork. There was one guy who would invite her out clubbing every weekend, even when she hadn't replied for months.

She didn't want to be mean, but I told her that with guys like that, you have to be; they just don't understand unless you directly tell them to fuck off since they take every reply to them as an opportunity, and any non-explicit rejection as just another roadblock. But then there was one guy with a criminal record--and it turned out he had beaten his ex-wife--who would call her and yell at her, asking her why she didn't respond to his FB messages or his texts. He also made comments like, "Hey, if you ever need a baby daddy, let me know, exotic princess." There was a long period of time where she would fear for her life.

Don't ever become that guy, OP. Now that you know, don't pursue someone that shows little to no interest from the onset, especially if you don't make your intentions clear; any efforts beyond that point will only be damning towards you.

 

[Ultimadrago]

You don't. You have to read it to yourself to really get it, is so awkard to read, it makes OP look like a Casanova.

Off to reading I go!

 

[Mr.Monitor]

A boy opens a door, you think he may be cool with yaoi and will take you to Applebees next Friday. Their food is overrated, IMO.

Love story of a generation.

Someone seems bitter.
Salty, even.

"lol u just mad n jelus"

For some reason I read the whole thing, I'm pretty sure it isn't real. At least I hope it isn't.

Yeah, it falls apart a little around the part where he

Spoiler

describes what happened at the park; first he says he hugged her from behind, then he describes that weird confession thing?

 

[TUROK]

Someone seems bitter.
Salty, even.

Yeah, that sounds like me, alright.

Damn, I guess you are really good at this "nonverbal cue" thing. Go you.

 

[kitchenmotors]

Yeah, that sounds like me, alright.

Damn, I guess you are really good at this "nonverbal cue" thing. Go you.

lmao

(´･ω･`)

 

[BlazinAm]

Sadly it's seen, I can see her last seen time now... Thanks dude still

Are you using a particular text message app that this can be seen?

 

[rokkerkory]

You remind of this guy used to work with. Besides being a human bag of shit, he would hit on EVERY girl at work. Even if they had a boyfriend or not.

He would be rejected and then move on to the next one.

Some highlights:

-He once slid in behind a girl while she was sitting in her office chair.

-He once got really mad at a girl who was having issues with her boyfriend and blamed her for "only dating jerks!" And not dating him.

-He would only listened to "The Gladiator" soundtrack and talk about how great it was.

-He once tried to explain the intricacies of Resident Evil with a girl he had a crush on.

-He went through a co-worker's phone to get the phone number of a friend whom he colluded with in order to try to get in with the co-worker. He asked her friend to ask the co-worker to hang out at the mall. When the co-worker arrived at the mall, he was there to meet her with flowers! She was dating someone else at this time, of course, who he thought was a "jerk."

-He was eventually fired for having a picture of the girl he was rejected by on his desk. Seems innocent enough? No. It was a picture of her ass with the words ,"[co-worker]'s FAT ASS" written below it.

Wait, except he wasn't fired. He was given the "opportunity to quit" because he was the son of a higher-up in the company.

What a pathetic bag of shit. From this guy's point of view, he was the nicest, coolest person ever. I had a few run-ins with him myself, one of them involving him telling me he didn't think I was smart enough to solder (I was fixing something at work) and how "impressed" he was.

How in the world can some guys be like this lol

 

[APF]

as we are on topic,


why is it that it's still the norm that it is the men pursue women?


honestly, that is just twisted. why can't women openly pursue men, in this day and age? can't believe this thing is still so "traditional". let women suffer as well! let them lose their self-confidence! let them pay for my meals!

i mean, let them express their feelings freely and not wait for someone to ask them out. do you know how much women pass out on something because they're "waiting for the guy to make a move".

It depends on where you live, and what the local culture is like. In NYC for example, it wouldn't be too uncommon (my fiancee asked me out, for example), but in more conservative places / cultures doing so could be seen as violating unspoken social rules for how women should behave. As you say in other posts, in some places it could be interpreted as the woman devaluing herself and portraying herself as "desperate" (or worse). That doesn't make it "right," it's just an acknowledgement of the reality in some places, and the tightrope people sometimes have to walk in modern cultures still wresting themselves out of traditional gender roles.

 

[Derwind]

Off to reading I go!

God speed!

 

[LyleLanley]

Are you using a particular text message app that this can be seen?

Whatsapp.

 

[Despera]

I remember that thread. Shit was so fucking hilarious.

 

[Scully Scully Scoo]

OP, I am going to tell you a story from a girl's point of view.

There was this guy I worked with that had an interest in me. He asked if I wanted to go for coffee. With most guys I have encountered, they seem to understand the soft no. I assumed he was no different. I didn't want to give the definite no as it might make work life awkward. Everything is good right?

Nope.

He was convinced I was angry at him. I told him of course I wasn't. He seemed to take this as some sort of sign and he wrote me a note (I never gave him my number, thank god) that basically said I was sending mixed signals. After this point I was done with dealing with him, so I mentioned having a boyfriend. You think after that, it would stop right?

Nope.

He gets more obsessive over me to the point where I notice him staring at me for periods of time. He gives me more notes, asking for a reply. I'm not going to reply dude. -.-

Needless to say, I carry pepper spray with me now.

I'm not saying you are as creepy as that guy OP (you're getting close), but imagine how it is for the girl on the receiving end. Sure, maybe she should outright say, "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.", but you need to take a hint.

hmmm interesting. but was is his approach/persistence that turned u off or was is his looks?

You remind of this guy used to work with. Besides being a human bag of shit, he would hit on EVERY girl at work. Even if they had a boyfriend or not.

He would be rejected and then move on to the next one.

Some highlights:

-He once slid in behind a girl while she was sitting in her office chair.

-He once got really mad at a girl who was having issues with her boyfriend and blamed her for "only dating jerks!" And not dating him.

-He would only listened to "The Gladiator" soundtrack and talk about how great it was.

-He once tried to explain the intricacies of Resident Evil with a girl he had a crush on.

-He went through a co-worker's phone to get the phone number of a friend whom he colluded with in order to try to get in with the co-worker. He asked her friend to ask the co-worker to hang out at the mall. When the co-worker arrived at the mall, he was there to meet her with flowers! She was dating someone else at this time, of course, who he thought was a "jerk."

-He was eventually fired for having a picture of the girl he was rejected by on his desk. Seems innocent enough? No. It was a picture of her ass with the words ,"[co-worker]'s FAT ASS" written below it.

Wait, except he wasn't fired. He was given the "opportunity to quit" because he was the son of a higher-up in the company.

What a pathetic bag of shit. From this guy's point of view, he was the nicest, coolest person ever. I had a few run-ins with him myself, one of them involving him telling me he didn't think I was smart enough to solder (I was fixing something at work) and how "impressed" he was.

OP, I'm saying you're a bag of shit like my old co-worker. I'm just saying there are some traits that are similar. Mostly the obliviousness and inappropriate sexual pushiness. If you can learn anything from this, learn that you need to reassess your romantic situation and not shit where you sleep.

hahahhaha im sorry..but this guy sounds like a legend. first ballot hall of famer