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[Stat Flow]

This is about 25% the power level of that one Taylor Swift lyric thread.

 

[yyzjohn]

I made a fool of myself with women many times in the past. You hope to learn from each one and not repeat the mistakes. It's difficult when your feelings are guiding you and you lose your head so to speak. Just try to learn from this and next time you're crazy about a girl, re-read this thread and tell yourself you won't approach it the same way.

 

[braves01]

LMAO, We are certainly on to something. haha


Font for each text without a response gets lighter and lighter, until you no longer see what your typing.....

If the ratio gets below a certain point, the app should just automatically delete her from your contacts.

Spoiler

And maybe flash a "game over" screen? lol

 

[SoulClap]

OP, never behave in this manner again. I hope you'll take the humiliation from this incident and become a stronger man.

 

[Derwind]

an overwhelmingly majority don't.

moreso if you don't live in the western world. even in the us, there are way more areas where women don't generally ask men out on a date.

Uh... if we're including places where women can't walk outside without a male family member. I totally agree.

All I know is many encounters I've had were ones where I was approached. *shrug*

 

[The Insane Dufresne]

YES. OP reminds me a bit of what I did, and oh god that turned out catastrophic. I was acting like a complete idiot at times (although she wasn't innocent at all heh) and while that relationship at this point is probably never going to heal in any way, it all was a great "bro, that's NOT how to do things" for myself. It's a shame if it happens to you with a girl you honestly like (or because of that), but yeah, sometimes you just fuck everything up because you're completely out of whack.

I think I just lost my trail of thought. TLDR: It'll teach you, OP. If you let it.

Threads like these, though they may seem funny to a few, but they actually piss me off.

Some of you dudes need to have some fucking self worth. The first sign that a female is not responsive, especially if the initiation of the contact is mostly one sided, you drop it. If she's even remotely interested, she'll get at you. If she doesn't then think of it as her loss, not yours, and move on to the next one. Stop treating females like they're some special breed of humans, to which you feel that you're not worthy of their glory. Not every female will be receptive to your advances, but for everyone that's not, there's one that will, so there's no reason to come off as a creep.

Also, and this is probably the most important: DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!

Best posts in this thread.

Fix your issues OP. Hopefully you learn from this and in the future you can laugh at yourself.

 

[terrisus]

an overwhelmingly majority don't.

But any of them can.

Nice deflection. A++++.

What deflection?
Going out and doing stuff with someone and suggesting stuff to do with someone doesn't necessarily a romantic interest.

 

[Horse Detective]

as we are on topic,


why is it that it's still the norm that it is the men pursue women?


honestly, that is just twisted. why can't women openly pursue men, in this day and age? can't believe this thing is still so "traditional". let women suffer as well! let them lose their self-confidence! let them pay for my meals!

i mean, let them express their feelings freely and not wait for someone to ask them out. do you know how much women pass out on something because they're "waiting for the guy to make a move".

Where do you live?

"Gee wiz, Jim from accounting sure is cute! Oh boy, if only there was some way that I could make my presence known to him. But for I am merely a woman, and a mockery would be made of me if I were to simply introduce myself, or start a conversation with this man. If only I didn't live in the hypothetical universe of some 1950's village,"

 

[Gawge]

I just read an alarming amount of (´･ω･`)

1/600 reply rate.

Seriously though, some of this stuff is really scary. Feel really bad for the people on the other end.

 

[terrisus]

If the ratio gets below a certain point, the app should just automatically delete her from your contacts.

Spoiler

And maybe flash a "game over" screen? lol

After enough, it should probably just disconnect your phone service.

 

[TUROK]

But any of them can.



What deflection?
Going out and doing stuff with someone and suggesting stuff to do with someone doesn't necessarily a romantic interest.

Of course it doesn't, but he was interested in her. He was emotionally involved, and when that happens, our perception of things get skewed and our minds become less rational.

You can keep pretending that you have this amazing grasp on social cues and nonverbal interaction, though.

 

[Kreed]

That's not how harassment at the workplace..works. Despite the way the story has been told by OP, if she hasn't explicitly asked him to stop, she has no grounds for harassment claims.

Ignoring the fact that this is only the OP's side of the story, and she could very well say she asked him to stop in a claim request, this isn't even necessary for making an harassment claim in a lot of office environments.

 

[LuffyZoro]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

I read this every time I feel like I'm lousy socially. It helps to know that I'll never be the worst.

 

[Majestad]

Goddamn the thirst is real. OP, move on.

 

[hitme]

 

[Uncle Rupee]

Ignoring the fact that this is only the OP's side of the story, and she could very well say she asked him to stop in a claim request, this isn't even necessary for making an harassment claim in a lot of office environments.

Yeah, pretty sure all she'd have to do is show them her list of unreplied texts... yikes.

 

[Dereck]

You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?

 

[Spinluck]

It's ok OP, women are a learning experience.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Long story short: It’s one-sided romance. I texted her but haven’t got any reply (Seen ✓&#10003. I know I am done and just to vent.

Not sure if this is the right place. Anyway It’s my first thread here and, I just want to vent…

I met this girl about six months ago at my workplace (we are not in the same office though), and we started to do lunch together about once a week or two. When I asked her for lunch (I kept asking her once a week), she always replied yes and even if it’s no she would come up a reason. Every time, I brought her to a new restaurant and we did have some very nice conversations (at least to me). At the same time, I started to text (Whatsapp) her more but she’s not that responsive. I thought it’s ok because I could not expect people to reply to my every single message and sometimes I just wanted to share with her and she may not relate. Still, I always tried to bring up something fresh and relevant and encourage her to voice out her thoughts more, although she rarely did.

From February, she started to become evasive about my lunch proposals but I still managed to get her out with me. And we still had pleasant conversations when we met. I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

There were many times (during our lunch times) I asked her out for movies/walk in park/dinner and she always said yes. She even proposed some movies and suggested a place for us to go. But when I make a proper invitation the very next day, she just acted evasive. At first, she declined with reasons, and then she just didn’t reply at all.

I kept texting her (with things may interest her and we have in common) but she was just ignoring my messages almost entirely. I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome) but she always rejected me at the last minute, again with reasons (about friends/work/etc.).

I knew this could not be kept long so I stopped contacting her earlier this month. Then, only three days later, I happened to see her at the workplace so I again asked her for lunch for the week before Easter… She said yes but didn’t live up to it. Since I knew she’s busy for that week so I didn’t quite mind and instead asked her out for the Easter (via Whatsapp):

Me: It’s a long holiday; maybe we can find a day free and go out somewhere.
She: where
Me: (A lot of suggestions but I pointed out what I liked the most)
She: which one
Me: (replied in detail)

She didn’t reply since. I texted her that I didn’t like that and asked her to reject me if she wanted and just not to ignore my invitations because I was sick of all the waiting…

So a few hours ago I sent her my last message. Instead of telling her I was hopelessly in love with her, I just told her that “pursuing someone desperately will creep them out… It’s better to make mistakes and then learn from them…” It’s a short message. Not sure if it means anything or not but I guess it’s my last.

OK. Time to let go now. It’s hard though…

Sorry I didn’t realize it would be this long... as I just wanted to vent.

Share if you have any thoughts/experiences.

How old are you?

 

[TangerineCloud]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

Just got done with the first page. No. No way. No way this is real. I refuse to believe it. No fucking way. I'm socially inept, but this is just on a completely different level. It's almost spectacular. I'm in awe.

 

[MGrant]

God damn, OP. If you're going to be a sociopath about this, you might as well be a smart one. Here is a recipe for success, no empathy required:

1. Study up on your neuroscience.

2. Learn behaviors you can perform around her to increase her brain's dopamine levels. More dopamine in her brain will make her seem more alert, talkative, and inclined to move around and do things. You know, what humans consider "happy."

3. Learn to avoid behaviors that decrease her brain's serotonin levels. Serotonin is what holds back feelings of anxiety, anger, and fear. You will know her serotonin levels are low whenever she appears to "freeze" around you, talks less, seems irritable, and avoids contact with you. Whenever someone behaves like this, we call this emotion "scared."

4. Whenever you establish a pattern of keeping her dopamine and serotonin levels topped off, evolution mandates that her brain will begin to see you as a benefit to her ability to protect and copy her genetics through reproduction.

5. If your sexual characteristics meet the minimum standards her brain believes are good enough for a partner, she will form a pair bond with you, and you've got yourself a new girlfriend.

Unfortunately, at this point, you've failed at step 3, and she is scared of you. Probably best to cut your losses unless you think you can come up with a behavior that can counter both the lack of reward and the anxiety you actively cause whenever you're around her.

 

[-PXG-]

1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
3. She is probably scared of you
4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
8. Leave her alone, god damnit.

This. All of this.

I don't know why people are hating on this post. It's pure truth. I guess folks can't deal with it.

 

[sonikokaruto]

Oh gawd how could you not take the hint?

 

[EmptySpace]

Where do you live?

"Gee wiz, Jim from accounting sure is cute! Oh boy, if only there was some way that I could make my presence known to him. But for I am merely a woman, and a mockery would be made of me if I were to simply introduce myself, or start a conversation with this man. If only I didn't live in the hypothetical universe of some 1950's village,"

introducing yourself isn't pursuing a man. learn the difference. also, your sarcastic monologue is stupid. i know girls who are too shy to ask a man out. coming from an asian country, girl friends even encourage other girls to play hard-to-get or act cute until the guy asks them out. that's not pursuing someone. that's acting nice in hopes that the other person "shows interest in you first".

 

[Count Dookkake]

introducing yourself isn't pursuing a man. learn the difference. also, your sarcastic monologue is stupid. i know girls who are too shy to ask a man out. coming from an asian country, girl friends even encourage other girls to play hard-to-get or act cute until the guy asks them out. that's not pursuing someone. that's acting nice in hopes that the other person "shows interest in you first".

I gave you a sincere answer. I hope you did not miss it.

 

[Deleted member 17706]

I don't understand why people think "m'lady" is funny. Stereotypes are only funny if there's some truth to them, and I have literally never heard somebody say "m'lady" in real life.

You've never known guys like this?

You must not frequent nerd circles enough.

 

[rpmurphy]

(´･ω･`) ← This is starting to piss me off.

 

[Mr.Monitor]

Just got done with the first page. No. No way. No way this is real. I refuse to believe it. No fucking way. I'm socially inept, but this is just on a completely different level. It's almost spectacular. I'm in awe.

You aren't ready for what follows.

 

[SamuelSupreme]

OP I'll be honest....a woman generally knows within the first encounter with a man whether or not they would sleep with him. With that said, dating isn't the hard part of relationships. It's usually the easiest. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues that you need to work on because frankly you come across as clingy and desperate.

 

[Puppet Shadow]

as we are on topic,


why is it that it's still the norm that it is the men pursue women?


honestly, that is just twisted. why can't women openly pursue men, in this day and age? can't believe this thing is still so "traditional". let women suffer as well! let them lose their self-confidence! let them pay for my meals!

i mean, let them express their feelings freely and not wait for someone to ask them out. do you know how much women pass out on something because they're "waiting for the guy to make a move".

Males do the pursuing for the first forty years, then women get their turn.

 

[Deleted member 17706]

He contacted her too much but it's not like he was stalking her. OP said he knows he went about this the wrong way, there's no need to kick him when he's down.

He is absolutely not the victim in this case. The girl is, and he needs to realize that.

 

[rtcn63]

OP, I feel you. I confessed to my first crush in college via FB (I told her I wanted to rumble in her jungle, in not those words). She was creeped out, avoided me, and when we were at social events together (school), she'd flirt with the shittiest guy in the room and give me a dirty look.

We're idiots. We have to learn from trusting our burning loins in such moments of weakness. Also people are insane, I had a co-worker years later act terrible towards me, then shorty before I left the job, told me with sincerity that she wanted to start a law firm together. I'm not a law student. She was nuts and probably banged half the douchebags in the office.

Be single. Be happy. Drink coffee. Prostitutes you can pay to leave afterward.

 

[Black Door]

 

[nvrndr]

Of course it doesn't, but he was interested in her. He was emotionally involved, and when that happens, our perception of things get skewed and our minds become less rational.

You can keep pretending that you have this amazing grasp on social cues and nonverbal interaction, though.

Like Terrisus said, she never really gave any implications that she was into him or had any feelings for him. And he couldn't pick up the fact she wasn't into him like he was into her? And while you're right also, that she agreed to hang out and even picked places out, at the same time she on numerous multiple occasions cancelled at the very last minute. And now, after her doing this a few times be starts to put it all together?

Yeah....it's pretty straight forward that she was being uofront. And if it wasn't upfront, it was definitely not the case of her misleading him though...it was all him.

 

[demon]

So is "thirsty" a new thing now?

 

[Dirtyshubb]

Wtf, why are ppl bagging on shruri? Every single point is bang on, op needs to read it and acknowledge that his behavior is creepy and will not land him a girl or a meaningful relationship.

I think it shows how our of touch some men are with how women cam feel in situations like this. In her mind she did everything she could to stop your efforts while saving your dignity yet the op just carried on like a stalker, no offense but that's how it sounds and probably felt by the end of it when you came across as confrontational because of her lack or answer when every action she did should have answered your questions.

 

[EmptySpace]

I gave you a sincere answer. I hope you did not miss it.

i know. i just find it stupid, really. i have a friend who was interested in this guy, and i just flat-out suggested to her that she can just ask the guy out instead of torturing me with stories about how she finds this guy cute, or how his jokes were funny, etc.

and she stared at me as if it were some out-of-this-world idea thinking, "why would i? i'm not that desperate." it's as if her pride would be tarnished if she asked him out on a date.

believe me, not every girl gets offers. sure, there are girls who literally confess their feelings, but i never have seen girls who casually know other guys and asked them to go out. if they did, it would be with "other friends", a group date.

 

[rtcn63]

So is "thirsty" a new thing now?

OP is secretly James Franco bro, we figured it out early on.

 

[akira28]

You've never known guys like this?



You must not frequent nerd circles enough.

he's kind of the hero of that comic though. using his nerd swag to passive-aggressively "subdue" the evil judgmental woman.

 

[LyleLanley]

Just got done with the first page. No. No way. No way this is real. I refuse to believe it. No fucking way. I'm socially inept, but this is just on a completely different level. It's almost spectacular. I'm in awe.

For some reason I read the whole thing, I'm pretty sure it isn't real. At least I hope it isn't.

 

[kitchenmotors]

Oh god now that brings back memories

OP, read all of this: http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

OP, you are not that guy. Not yet. But you could be. The behavior you've shown is in the ballpark, you just didn't cross the line into stalker territory. Take a long step back and look at your attitudes and your life

Holy... shit...

(´･ω･`)

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Would you mail someone 3 to 4 letters a day and keep doing it if they never replied to them? At some point your gonna get in trouble at work.

 

[BeerSnob]

Damn Op, you know you fucked up when you make a barbed troll from Shuri seem reasonable.

 

[A Serious Man]

There's not being able to take a hint, and then there's whatever the fuck this is.

 

[Kieli]

So is "thirsty" a new thing now?

I prefer "parched".

 

[Ultimadrago]

Sometimes you just have to jump out of an airplane without a parachute to understand why you need one. With the parachute being your balls, OP. Go make your best swimming motion in the air and try to retrieve them.

Can I be real? Because that's the only way I believe you'll learn from this situation.

1. Stop simping. You have tried to take this person out multiple times, and sometimes succeeded, when it was obvious she wasn't into you. You're spending time and money to entertain someone who doesn't like you. Don't ever do this again, it's a sign of weakness.

2. Take a damn hint. If you're sending someone lengthy texts and they respond with 1-4 word responses, chances are they're either not into you or talking to someone else.

3. She doesn't owe you. She is not legally required to respond to you, or reward your kindness with a date, a kiss, etc. She clearly viewed you as a friend or acquaintance, but you overstayed your welcome by being pushy. She clearly wasn't sending signals that she liked you, therefore don't act like she "led you on."

4. Walk away. There was no need to send that passive aggressive text, all it does is make you look like even more of a sucker. Again, I'm being hard because this is important to understand. Dust yourself off and never talk to her again, unless she initiates the conversation.

I guarantee you she told coworkers about all this btw, and they laughed. You should have taken the hint ages ago and moved on, or waited for her to initiate things (ie her asking you if you wanted to go to lunch). You lost. But you can dust yourself off and be better prepared in the future, IF you learn from this mistake.

The posts you need, OP.

(´･ω･`) ← This is starting to piss me off.

What is that face for anyways?

 

[Jasup]

as we are on topic,


why is it that it's still the norm that it is the men pursue women?


honestly, that is just twisted. why can't women openly pursue men, in this day and age? can't believe this thing is still so "traditional". let women suffer as well! let them lose their self-confidence! let them pay for my meals!

i mean, let them express their feelings freely and not wait for someone to ask them out. do you know how much women pass out on something because they're "waiting for the guy to make a move".

Hey, can I address this too?

I don't know where you live, but in my experience women do ask men out. My opinion is based on anecdotal experience, I've been asked out by a woman more often than I've asked a woman out myself. I also know many pairs where the woman was the one who asked the guy out.

 

[akira28]

Shuri is stoking it a bit. There might be some gossip. There might not. I doubt she's going to go to HR and file harassment charges. I figure OP gets the point when she didn't respond back. Now just pretend like nothing ever happened ever and live and learn and try actually interacting with women and then asking them out.

 

[Hagi]

OP are you outside her window now? Text her and see what her facial expression is when she looks at the phone. Sure fire way of knowing if she's interested.

 

[kitchenmotors]

So is "thirsty" a new thing now?

The thirst has always been real. It just happens that more people are vocal about their awkward thirst for some reason.

At least it makes for some funny threads.