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I'm sick of all the waiting...pls respond..I confessed to u...unacceptable behavior..

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late to the party said:
I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying

I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome)
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Sounds to me like you were both bothersome and annoying. Whether or not you think you weren't is irrelevant. Sorry OP, at least you know what not to do next time.
 
shuri said:
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.
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I agree 100% with the above quote, OP you need to take a step back and try to change the way you conduct yourself as what you wrote was cringeworthy and borderline stalkerish.
 
DrEvil said:
ITT I witnessed first hand the difference between married / in a relationship / socially skilled GAFfers and those like the OP and everyone who thinks Shuri's above post is wrong or bad.
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how is shuri post meant to help op? forget about the negatives he knows he messed up. better to take the positives and move on, beating a dead horse doesnt help anyone
 
Konka said:
She didn't like you in the first place and was just being nice by responding to you and you never got the hint.
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I was just setting this as an example, but lets say she did explicitly stated that she liked you quite a bit before the change.

The Technomancer said:
Uhm, it happens for the same reason it happens with guys. I've been that guy before, lord knows, although I usually try to explain it. Maybe they found someone else who they connected with better? Maybe they just woke up one morning and realized that there's something just not really working and they're not interested in continuing?
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This seems quite logical. And the next course of action should be to cut contact immediately.
 
late to the party said:
Haha, I wasn’t even that angry. It’s just a way of me to tell her that she should behave herself, even if it’s not for me. I am not in such a position though.
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"Behave herself"? What the fuck? She was trying to let you down easy but you couldn't take the hints and became creepy as hell.
 
PhoenixDark said:
I remember giving a girl the silent treatment after she told me she was watching The Godfather with her brothers and thought it was stupid because "there aren't any black people in this LOL." On to the next one.
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this is a seinfeld-level reason to break up with someone
 
mingoguaya said:
I've always wondered (mainly to female-GAF but if anyone has the answer I wont mind) what makes a girl lose so suddenly interest in you? Lets say, for example, you've been interacting with a girl via text message and things have been going pretty good. All of a sudden, everything changes and she seems distant, etc, BUT interactions never changed between what was working before and after. What gives? I've always had that curiosity, and never have I gotten a clear response by a female as to why it happens....
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  • got bored of you
  • was not as interested as you might think. This is easy to misinterpret over txt messages, sadly
  • talked about you/showed your pics to friends who trashed you or made fun of her for 'Being into guys like you'. She just decides to pretend you dont exist. It happens
  • you were several of many candicates and another one was selected
  • She started having doubts about you and started thinking that it would go nowhere
  • Maybe something you said was badly interpreted
 
OP you gotta look at it this way. Would you rather be doing this dumb stuff or literally just move on?

It's like Blackstone's formulation. "It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer".

It's better to move on from ten girls than it is so obsess over one.
 
Today I learned that some people find self-respect over-rated.
 
mingoguaya said:
I was just setting this as an example, but lets say she did explicitly stated that she liked you quite a bit before the change.




This seems quite logical. And the next course of action should be to cut contact immediately.
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While this is true, some people are either rightfully or irrationally uncomfortable with confrontation, and hope that things will just trail off on their own
 
shuri said:
  1. You creeped her out a long time ago.
  2. She was just being polite by saying yes and then cancelling/avoiding. It's a passive way to avoid confrontations.
  3. She is probably scared of you
  4. You confessed feelings for a woman without having much interaction with her at all. What the fuck?
  5. You probably are the laughing stock at the office and she has probably made aware all the other females about how creepy you are with her
  6. Don't be surprised if you get into MASSIVE TROUBLE at work over this for Harassment.
  7. Real life is not an anime or a dating sim, stop quantifying your interactions with her.
  8. Leave her alone, god damnit.
Click to expand...
This post exaggerates the potentially bad consequences of the interaction, but I don't see anything wrong in the post.
Like i don't know if the girl is going to be afraid of OP, but she ll definitely won't be comfortable with him. For people saying this is a bad post, you should explain what you don't agree with instead of posting one word and assuming everyone is on the same page as you are.
 
PhoenixDark said:
Can I be real? Because that's the only way I believe you'll learn from this situation.

1. Stop simping. You have tried to take this person out multiple times, and sometimes succeeded, when it was obvious she wasn't into you. You're spending time and money to entertain someone who doesn't like you. Don't ever do this again, it's a sign of weakness.

2. Take a damn hint. If you're sending someone lengthy texts and they respond with 1-4 word responses, chances are they're either not into you or talking to someone else.

3. She doesn't owe you. She is not legally required to respond to you, or reward your kindness with a date, a kiss, etc. She clearly viewed you as a friend or acquaintance, but you overstayed your welcome by being pushy. She clearly wasn't sending signals that she liked you, therefore don't act like she "led you on."

4. Walk away. There was no need to send that passive aggressive text, all it does is make you look like even more of a sucker. Again, I'm being hard because this is important to understand. Dust yourself off and never talk to her again, unless she initiates the conversation.


I guarantee you she told coworkers about all this btw, and they laughed. You should have taken the hint ages ago and moved on, or waited for her to initiate things (ie her asking you if you wanted to go to lunch). You lost. But you can dust yourself off and be better prepared in the future, IF you learn from this mistake.
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Excellent advice. Focus on this post, OP. It provides you with multiple lessons without being condescending.
 
Leeness said:
"Exhibit A: cell phone from which 240 (3-4 a day for two months) text messages were sent, culminating in threatening messages"
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Exhibit B: basement filled with several skeletons, identified as adult female. "WHY WON'T YOU LEARN TO BEHAVE" scrawled on the walls several hundred times in a substance later identified to be human blood.
 
PhoenixDark said:
Can I be real? Because that's the only way I believe you'll learn from this situation.

1. Stop simping. You have tried to take this person out multiple times, and sometimes succeeded, when it was obvious she wasn't into you. You're spending time and money to entertain someone who doesn't like you. Don't ever do this again, it's a sign of weakness.

2. Take a damn hint. If you're sending someone lengthy texts and they respond with 1-4 word responses, chances are they're either not into you or talking to someone else.

3. She doesn't owe you. She is not legally required to respond to you, or reward your kindness with a date, a kiss, etc. She clearly viewed you as a friend or acquaintance, but you overstayed your welcome by being pushy. She clearly wasn't sending signals that she liked you, therefore don't act like she "led you on."

4. Walk away. There was no need to send that passive aggressive text, all it does is make you look like even more of a sucker. Again, I'm being hard because this is important to understand. Dust yourself off and never talk to her again, unless she initiates the conversation.


I guarantee you she told coworkers about all this btw, and they laughed. You should have taken the hint ages ago and moved on, or waited for her to initiate things (ie her asking you if you wanted to go to lunch). You lost. But you can dust yourself off and be better prepared in the future, IF you learn from this mistake.
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Oh yeah, this got lost on the last page but its basically spot on
 
aeolist said:
this is a seinfeld-level reason to break up with someone
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We weren't together, hence the point about "what can make you stop talking to someone." I talk to many girls, or at least I used to before entering a semi-relationship.

The biggest problem with a lot of young men, on this forum and elsewhere, is that they seemingly have no experience talking to women in general. So when they start in their mid twenties they're awkward or socially inept. The best way to avoid that is to...talk to people. Men and women. Small talk at work, or just joining in conversations. You'll quickly determine what works and what doesn't work.

Any person with basic social skills would know that texting someone 5-6 times a day and getting no response from them isn't the thing to do.
 
OP don't take any of this the wrong way, everyone here is ready to help you grow past this. Take all the critiscm as lessons. For example,

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

Anyone who wants to add anything feel free
 
HateGames said:
how is shuri post meant to help op? forget about the negatives he knows he messed up. better to take the positives and move on, beating a dead horse doesnt help anyone
Click to expand...

This is the thing, there is no helping the OP.. he's got to learn these things himself, and everyone defending him from Shuri's truthbombs are likely similar enough to the OP that they're blind to his advice, too.

Shuri's giving legitimate examples and rationale for why he hasn't heard back... you're silly to think he's just being mean, or beating a dead horse as you put it.
 
Derwind said:
OP don't take any of this the wrong way, everyone here is ready to help you grow past this. Take all the critiscm as lessons. For example,

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

Anyone who wants to add anything feel free
Click to expand...
8. Don't shit where you eat.
 
HateGames said:
how is shuri post meant to help op? forget about the negatives he knows he messed up. better to take the positives and move on, beating a dead horse doesnt help anyone
Click to expand...

If he is in the u.s.a., it may help him to back off before he is fired for cause for sexual harassment, with no references, made ineligible for unemployment, etc.

Also, he clearly doesn't understand what he is doing wrong, or a later post would not have included the word "behave". In my opinion, this guy needs to be removed from the streets until he views women as human beings.
 
PhoenixDark said:
What makes you lose interest in someone? The same applies to women. They aren't some exotic animal hidden deep in the jungle, only viewable on National Geographic.

Sometimes I'm busy. Sometimes the conversation gets tiring, or you want to "move on." Sometimes she says something dumb that turns me completely off. I remember giving a girl the silent treatment after she told me she was watching The Godfather with her brothers and thought it was stupid because "there aren't any black people in this LOL." On to the next one.
Click to expand...

Yeah girl, we're gonna take it slow and... Oh...Boyz in the Hood? Uhh..no, I actually have to take my parents to WholeFoods..maybe another time.
 
Kano on the Phone said:
Exhibit B: basement filled with several skeletons, identified as adult female. "WHY WON'T YOU LEARN TO BEHAVE" scrawled on the walls several hundred times in a substance later identified to be human blood.
Click to expand...

"Exhibit C: notebook calculating the amount of money spent by the defendant and the corresponding interactions he believed he was owed. Please observe the following page:

Spent $20 at subway = hand hold
Took her to Earl's, $40 = kiss"
 
HateGames said:
how is shuri post meant to help op? forget about the negatives he knows he messed up. better to take the positives and move on, beating a dead horse doesnt help anyone
Click to expand...
there were no positives to work from, only hope is to demolish and rebuild. and i would have definitely appreciated this when i was younger, would have saved me years of floundering.
 
DrEvil said:
This is the thing, there is no helping the OP.. he's got to learn things himself, and everyone defending him from Shuri's truthbombs are likely similar enough to the OP that they're blind to his advice, too.
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Thats the fun part. Watching people who have 0 social skills get upset at shuri's -oh-so-harsh- posts. Clearly OP just isn't telling her the right lines! And thats why shes not responding to getting blown up with multiple texts. Theres nothing wrong with texting someone over and over, then trying to get them to behave themselves.
 
Having 3 daughters means that I am going to explain toy you guys what these girls keep trying to tell you.

"I think you're a nice guy but I am not interested in you romantically. Please find another object for your affection."

Its not 1940, there is no, "playing hard to get" or "waiting for a sign from you".
 
I thought the anime/dating sim line was kind of insulting.

Just because he fucked up on a massive scale doesn't mean he should be made fun of.

This does a better job imo:

Derwind said:
OP don't take any of this the wrong way, everyone here is ready to help you grow past this. Take all the critiscm as lessons. For example,

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

Anyone who wants to add anything feel free
Click to expand...
 
Derwind said:
OP don't take any of this the wrong way, everyone here is ready to help you grow past this. Take all the critiscm as lessons. For example,

1. Control your thirst
2. If you're alone making the dates, then consider you might just be alone
3. No one owes you anything
4. She doesn't owe you anything
5. If you're keeping tabs on the ratio of your communications, its time to seek some help
6. For the love of god, dont make demands
7. But you work together... dont shit where you eat

Anyone who wants to add anything feel free
Click to expand...

More
0UTsZ5c.gif


And less texting.
 
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