how to make an actually interesting "ban me" thread

64bitmodels

Reverse groomer.
So, you've grown sick and tired of GAF. You want to leave, but you're too egocentric and terminally online to just click the "log off" button. You need to go out with a BANG, you need to have something to be remembered for to satisfy your overwhelmingly narcissistic ego. Well, fear not, because I have the perfect guide on how to make the best ban request thread you can think of!!

Step 1. DO NOT BE POLITE. constantly insult and ping the mods. This is a ban thread after all, you need them to see your post so you can.... yknow, get banned!

Step 2. Make it VERY personal. attack specific users that pissed you off, and specific mods that temp banned/warned you for whatever reason. You REALLY need to show everyone on this forum how much of a genuinely terminally online internet addict you are to the point where whatever people say on the internet is stuff that you end up taking extremely personally. Otherwise, people won't think you're very much of a no life.

Step 3. Come up with some of the most immature, over the top, and clever insults you can think of. Take a page from Kretos, who to date has had the best ban request thread of the entire fucking forum, which you can read HERE -->https://www.neogaf.com/threads/its-...ome-of-the-mods-are-console-warriors.1623139/
Good examples include "If your mother was fucked by one man only don't delete this thread" and "Go suck a dildo then stick it up your ass while you suck another dildo while looking at uncle phil's picture that you have in your room, and imagining you sucking his dick as a thank you for giving you 1 year free of gamepass."
You really have to give the reader the feeling that you're actually a closeted homosexual who projects their fantasies onto the GAF users they hate.

Be creative, be brutal, and most importantly, be genuinely fucking salty. If you're not actually fucking mad, how can you truly give it the PUNCH it needs?

Step 4. Make it about console wars. Make sure to insult those gosh darned green rats/sony ponies, and comment on how everybody in the moderation is biased towards the side of the console you rampantly fight against for X reason. This is gaf. If you're here and you're NOT a console warrior.... What are you even doing with your life?

Step 5. Blame Evilore for some reason. I genuinely do not know why people are recently looking towards that guy, but uhh kretos did it so you should too.

These are the required steps you need to take in order to make a truly riveting ban request thread that will spawn several pages. Your thread will be discussed by drunk forum members for years after the fact, and be known as a truly amazing request thread in history. :messenger_beaming:
(I had the idea to write this after kingpotato's ban thread was so overwhelmingly polite and underwhelming. Seriously, you think being POLITE is gonna get your thread attention? yeesh....)

Alternatively, you can get banned easily and get even MORE attention with these 2 steps!
Step 1: Post gay porn or shock images like goatse. Anything from encyclopedia Drammatica's "offended" page is a good pick.

Step 2: there is no step 2, by the time you read this second step you'll have been banned already
 
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ANDS

Thought gaf was racist. Now knows better, honorary gaffer 2022
There's no way you don't know how this thread is going to go. . .and yet you posted it anyway.

. . .you "mad lad" you.
 

amigastar

Member
Just post a ton of gay porn or something idk
No, please don't

I'm not talking gay porn specifically here. There was once this guy who did post some crazy porn shit to get banned.
 

amigastar

Member
That sounds absolutely awful.

Where exactly did he post it? Can you give us a link so we can all see how awful it was?
Dude you really don't want to see that shit and even so i don't remember what thread that was anyway it's about 3 years ago. And yeah, it was awful.
 

RoboFu

One of the green rats
Yeah the kretos thread was so awesome.. I’m not really even a Xbox fanboy but I made an avatar and got a tag just from that thread because I was laughing so hard. 😂😂😂
 

64bitmodels

Reverse groomer.
Yeah the kretos thread was so awesome.. I’m not really even a Xbox fanboy but I made an avatar and got a tag just from that thread because I was laughing so hard. 😂😂😂
Genuinely such a fucking legendary user. Like holy shit, he had no reason to go as HARD as he did and i'm all here for more ban request threads like that.
The Office Reaction GIF by NETFLIX
 
"Go suck a dildo then stick it up your ass while you suck another dildo while looking at uncle phil's picture that you have in your room, and imagining you sucking his dick as a thank you for giving you 1 year free of gamepass."
Imagine being so fucking pissed off you end up writing a Phil Spencer porn fanfic just because.

The internet is truly fantastic. And thanks OP for this thread, I had some laughs outta it.
 
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