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Anaconda - greatest 'bad' movie of all time?

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V

Vibri

Banned
It's time someone gave ANACONDA the props it deserves.

Highlights:

- all star cast including John Voight, Jenifer Lopez, Owen Wilson and Ice Cube in absolutely the worst roles they've ever played.

- THE SNEER. John Voight in a career-worst as mysterious anaconda hunter Paul Sarone, sends a good 75% of the movie doing the most ludicrous sneer ever commited to film. "This river can kill you.....in a thousand ways." SNEER.


edit: found pic of THE SNEER!!!

anaconda2.jpg


Just a few reviews mention THE SNEER!

http://www.dvdtherapy.com/reviews/anaconda.php

http://www.filmjudge.ca/a/anaconda.htm

http://deseretnews.com/movies/view/1,1257,76,00.html

http://www.tactileint.com/allan/movies.html

http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/vhs-title-a/anaconda/reviews/

- Jo Lo in the most gratutious ass shot of her career.

- Worst CG monster of all time. ALL TIME.

- Ice Cube delivering the best send-off line ever - 100 foot anaconda rears out of the water, the rapper cocks his head and spits "BITCH!" and then PUNCHES the snake in the face. The end.

... and a million other reasons. Just rent it.

Anaconda = greatest bad film of all time!
 
D

DJ Sl4m

Member
I thought it was retodded when it came out, but part 2 wasn't quite as bad, possible because they explained why there would be such enormous snakes a bit.
 
N

nitewulf

Member
no, this is the greatest bad movie of all time.
DeepRising-B.jpg


memorable quotes:
[after Trillian hits Pantucci with her shoe]
Pantucci: I think she broke my nose!
Trillian St. James: Give me a chance and I'll break the rest of your face. Not that anyone would notice.
Pantucci: What is this about?

[the big bad monster has just eaten the boat's captain]
Canton: I'm beginning to fear that our friends here may be some kind of strange offshoot of the Archaea Ottoia family.
Pantucci: Oh, the Ottoia family. And to think I was startin' to worry.

Pantucci: We're going to die because you're bad at math?



...well you have to watch it to get it. hillarious stuff.
 
B

bionic77

Member
The greatest bad movie of all time is obviously Sword of the Valiant.

Unfortunately I doubt anyone on these boards has ever seen it.

US1sheet.jpg
 
E

Error Macro

Member
bionic77 said:
The greatest bad movie of all time is obviously Sword of the Valiant.

Unfortunately I doubt anyone on these boards has ever seen it.

US1sheet.jpg
Click to expand...

Hmm, I see that Sean Connery is in it. Which reminds me of another little gem... Is Sword Of The Valiant worse (better) than Zardoz?
 
B

bionic77

Member
Error Macro said:
Hmm, I see that Sean Connery is in it. Which reminds me of another little gem... Is Sword Of The Valiant worse (better) than Zardoz?
Click to expand...

Never saw Zardoz, but I can't imagine it being worse then Sword of the Valiant. Probably the worst movie you will ever see and yet you will be glued to the screen somehow. I can't explain it, but this movie is so bad it became great.
 
S

StoOgE

First tragedy, then farce.
Howard%20The%20Duck.jpg

B00004VVNB.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

escapeny.jpeg

buckaroo.jpg
flashgordan.jpg
I%20guerrieri%20della%20notte%20(the%20warriors)%20-%20Original%20soundtrack%20front.jpg


Anaconda is no where near the quality of these "bad" movies. Also, PCU, Airheads, Lost Boys, Bill and Ted. I could probably name 100 bad movies that are more fun than Anaconda.
 
B

bionic77

Member
They need to start filming the pitches people have to make to create such horrible movies and include them as extras from now on in all future dvds. I would have loved to have heard the pitch for such classics as Gymkata.
 
S

StoOgE

First tragedy, then farce.
hobbitx said:
So corny, yet I loved that sound. :lol :lol
Click to expand...

There is nothing Corny about Freddy Mercury. Whats really kinda sad is I own all of the movies I posted box shots of.
 
C

Catapult Beetle

Member
40379.jpg


Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. A parody of Heart of Darkness with a rock-bottom budget. Awful, AWFUL movie. The only reason it was notable to me was because Bill Maher stars in it. I've never seen Maher in anything but his political shows, so his presence in this thing was hilarious to me.
 
H

hobbitx

Member
StoOgE said:
There is nothing Corny about Freddy Mercury. Whats really kinda sad is I own all of the movies I posted box shots of.
Click to expand...

I never said the actual songs were that corny, I love Queen just as much as the next guy. I just found that actual chorus cheesy as hell, but in a loveable way.
 
E

Error Macro

Member
Hmm, you know I completely forgot about some movies. But I think that's because I don't really consider Flash Gordon, Buckaroo Bonzai, The Warriors, or Escape From New York to be bad movies. Seriously, I think Flash Gordon would have to go in my top 10 movies of all time list. I love that movie.
 
The Faceless Master

The Faceless Master

Member
Catapult Beetle said:
40379.jpg


Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. A parody of Heart of Darkness with a rock-bottom budget. Awful, AWFUL movie. The only reason it was notable to me was because Bill Maher stars in it. I've never seen Maher in anything but his political shows, so his presence in this thing was hilarious to me.
Click to expand...
oh shit., i saw that this weekend on the late late late abc movie.... it was actually stupidly funny... or just stupid, i dunno, it was late...
 
S

StoOgE

First tragedy, then farce.
I'll grant you there is something fun about most of those movies sans 3000 miles to graceland. No matter what enjoyment there might be found in Howie Long being in the movie for who knows what reason.. or Ice T showing up just to hang upside down and shoot Uzi's like a mad man for 10 seconds before getting killed.

Two Words: David Arquette.

All I need to see are those two dirty little words in any films credits and you might as well throw it out the window. You might counter with "Oh, but he dies in the movie, and early on too". It doesnt matter. You could kill him a million times over, it wouldnt make up for having to see or hear that annoying little cunt.
 
B

Bat

Member
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead is an obvious choice here.

As is Encino Man.

(i'm a big fan of crappy but (now) hilarious early 90s movies)
 
K

Kuroyume

Banned
I saw this movie again about a week and a half ago and Voight's character just kills me. He is incredible in it. So hilarious.... I wish I could remember some of his lines.
 
The Chosen One

The Chosen One

Member
Showgirls definitely has to be a contender. I recently saw Showgirls on Showtime again and that movie is so bad that it's good. It single handedly destroyed Elizabeth Berkely's career.

As for Anaconda, I'm amazed that a sequel of 7 year-old mediocre film managed to get green lighted in the first place. Soon, we'll be seeing sequels to Lake Placid and Twister.
 
M

Manick Joe

Member
StoOgE said:
I'll grant you there is something fun about most of those movies sans 3000 miles to graceland. No matter what enjoyment there might be found in Howie Long being in the movie for who knows what reason.. or Ice T showing up just to hang upside down and shoot Uzi's like a mad man for 10 seconds before getting killed.

Two Words: David Arquette.

All I need to see are those two dirty little words in any films credits and you might as well throw it out the window. You might counter with "Oh, but he dies in the movie, and early on too". It doesnt matter. You could kill him a million times over, it wouldnt make up for having to see or hear that annoying little cunt.
Click to expand...
I understand the Arquette factor (it's Michael Rappaport for me) as he puts on the greatest show of anti-acting ever. But there is so much more to the movie like the shitty CGI opening of metallic scorpions fighting. There there is the highway officer who pulls over Costner to have this exchange...

Costner "Nice Day"
Officer "GREAT DAY" (with a Jon Voight like sneer)

and then proceed to have a duel where Costner shoots the officer's bullet out of the air and kill him in one shot. There is just so much MST3K material to be used.

It was this movie along with the dreaded Charlie's Angles: Full Throttle (I'd include that too but too many people liked it or at the least consider it succesful to not be in category) that inspired me to start this sub-collection.

Oh, and Howie was there to fly the plain silly.
 
A

andthebeatgoeson

Junior Member
I'm not sure if you guys forgot how many times this came on HBO or Showtime as a kid but if you want a really bad movie that you can have a good time watching, rent this:

killer_klowns_from_outer_space.jpg


Proof positive that, with enough money, you can get the masses to see your movie. Somebody had to pay to put this on TV, cuz it ain't the high quality.

killer_klowns.jpg

Here are the 'monsters'. They catch you, then roll you up in cotton candy, then suck your blood thru crazystraws for days on end. They can kill you with popcorn guns.
 
SonicMegaDrive

SonicMegaDrive

Member
Good to see some Logan's Run appreciation.

My favorite bad movie:
vmario.jpg


You just gotta love the chemistry between Bob Hoskins(Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hook), John Leguizamo(The Pest, The Fan), and Dennis Hopper(The king of bad movies - Speed, Waterworld, Edtv).

This movie defines the phrase "so bad it's GOOD".
 
R

Red Dolphin

Member
The other good thing about Anaconda is you get to see J.Lo pre-plastic surgory. Big ass nose and all :p

This topic reminded me I have to get a copy of Commando too... don't think I've ever seen it but I remember a hiliarous thread on the old GAF forum with screen grabs with the dialogue from the movie!
 
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