Woman got invaded by the Coalition of the Simping , then entangling alliances resulted in Adolph Clitler trying to blitzkrieg his way across the Vaginot Line only to be stopped
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A CIA director, his biographer, a creeper FBI agent, and Eric Cantor walk into a bar
- Thread starter DrFunk
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Woman got invaded by the Coalition of the Simping , then entangling alliances resulted in Adolph Clitler trying to blitzkrieg his way across the Vaginot Line only to be stopped
Petraeus is having an affair with his biographer.
an FBI agent has the hots for the biographer, is sending her shirtless photos of himself and somehow catches wind of the affair, who knows how.
He starts spreading rumors around the office to get at petraeus and snatch the girl away.
He beleives that he can politically hurt Obama by outing his CIA director as an adulterer and also further his chances with the biographer, since she's a republican like him and would be impressed by the FBI agent's success in derailing his re-eleciton/credibility (I have no idea). So, he raises the issue to ethics, who start an investigation.
The ethics team takes him off the investigation when they notice how obsessive he was getting and discover he was trying to get into the biographer's pants.
He then tips off Eric Cantor and other GOP leadership in congress so they can bring the matter public and do their little obama witch hunt.
Also, the investigation has discovered that hte biographer was ALSO having inappropriate relations with a general, in addition to CIA director Petraeus.
so you have the stalker FBI agent with the hots for the biographer who is banging the CIA director and a general. The stalker FBI agenet thinks bringing this information to the surface will hurt Obama so he does, and he also collaberates with the house majority whip on it.
It's Burn After Reading, except in real life
Ether_Snake
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ConfusingJazz
Member
Here is the best summary of events I have read so far: http://jezebel.com/5960098/a-guide-to-understanding-the-increasingly-convoluted-petraeus-sex-scandal
BZZT!
FBI agent is hots for Jill Kelley, not Broadwell.
BZZT!
FBI agent is hots for Jill Kelley, not Broadwell.
The biographer was sending threatening emails to the community organizer for getting to close to her man, the director.
The community organizer contacted her FBI agent friend about the emails.
The FBI agent has the hots for the community organizer and opens an investigation on the biographer.
While investigating the biographer the FBI agent discovers the affair with the director.
The FBI agent's local field office finds out he is a white knight and takes him off the case.
The FBI agent doesn't want this covered up so he tells to House Majority Leader.
House Majority Leader tells FBI HQ.
FBI HQ opens up larger investigation and has to report this to congress and POTUS but doesn't.
The investigation is still ongoing but new details have emerged with an abundance of inappropriate email between the community organizer and a 4 star general in Afghanistan.
my personal opinion is that the Jill Kelly (the community organizer) is a base slut and the biographer new it.
From the sound of it, the guy apparently opened up a Pandora's Box of craziness.
Now we need a Flow Chart (or similar Organizational Chart) linking all this together.
Edit - Found this:
What does qualify as "inappropiate email" ? Is a general not allowed to talk dirty?
inappropriate email can be anything like sexual communications, harassment, gossip, commercial solicitations or even just sending cute cat photos.
Wuthering_Heights
Banned
Oh, affiliates.
Oh, affiliates.
She is jacked.
Allen also testified for the twin sister
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Oh my God, this whole story is amazing and absolutely hilarious.
GungHo
Single-handedly caused Exxon-Mobil to sue FOX, start World War 3
He's the director of the CIA. Beyond simply violating their own code of conduct, he showed a considerable lack of judgement. Regardless of whether or not he had an open marriage or whether or not his wife just suffered in knowing silence, you don't fuck your biographer and share email accounts and passwords with them, especially when if it gets out, it's going to be so salacious that you're not going to be able to sufficiently perform your job functions.
There are 100 other people who he could have decided to stick his dick in on the down-low. Instead, he went with a crazy fivehead with great arms, poor impulse control, and extreme jealousy issues. He doesn't need to be in charge of kill teams or monitoring the establishment of Iran's nuclear program. I wouldn't even put him in charge of running the cafeteria at Langley at this point, as he might be too busy establishing a love triangle with the sandwich lady and the cashier to monitor food temperatures and he will end up giving everyone the green apple splatters.
Beer Monkey
Member
Unless you are cold-war era CIA director Allen Dulles, in which case you stick your dick in 100 girls (per his own sister).
The Nolan Brothers need to direct this
If those girls aren't getting access to your email, its not a big deal.
Beer Monkey
Member
BLACKMAIL
The e-mail isn't the problem.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I can't believe there are people out there uncapable to understand why the CIA director having an affair could end extremely poorly for the entire country. Public perception has very little to do with this, and I certainly don't expect the CIA director to be a shiny beacon of morality.
That said, I'm enjoying this shit way too much. When was the last time America had a scandal remotely as saucy? I certainly don't recall anything like this since Clinton's heyday.
That said, I'm enjoying this shit way too much. When was the last time America had a scandal remotely as saucy? I certainly don't recall anything like this since Clinton's heyday.
Well, ok, yeah, you need to be unmarried too.
It was a shared email account just for them, not his email email. This whole thing is silly and I still don't see what the big deal is. How about the FBI investigate every leader in this nation's email, so that way we can clean house of all potential security leaks? This thing reeks of fish.
If someone makes a living keeping this nation's fucked up military actions away from the general population, I doubt they'd just blab like an idiot to their mistress of all people.
If someone makes a living keeping this nation's fucked up military actions away from the general population, I doubt they'd just blab like an idiot to their mistress of all people.
j_k_redtail
Member
It sounds like there was no email hacking involved. The FBI noticed Broadwell accessing what they thought was Petraeus' personal account. It was acually a shared dropbox they used to compose unsent messages to eachother. Ironically, AQ has used the tactic for years.
Beer Monkey
Member
Fuck yeah, it's great, and this time we have insane Republican conspiracy theorists. Over at Rapture Ready they actually think that this *somehow* fits in with Obama's dictatorship plan that of course requires him to clean house of the top brass that could rebel against his plan to end the constitution.
Aww, that's kind of clever and cute.
I H8 Memes
Member
CIA Supervisor: What did we learn, Palmer?
Palmer Smith: I don't know sir.
CIA Supervisor: I don't fucking know either. I guess we learned not to do it again. I'm fucked if I know what we did.
Palmer Smith: Yes sir, it's hard to say.
Link
The Autumn Wind
Like sands through the hourglass...
JK Simmons made that movie. Burn After Reading isn't a very good movie but I immensely enjoyed it because of him and Malkovich.
If anything, this could be the most elaborate Wag the Dog ever created. Bengazi is creating a bunch of questions no one wants to answer.
Byakuya769
Member
One thing is known. MDs stay losing with their cheating spouses.
Broadwell - Husband: radiologist
Kelley - Husband: oncologist
Broadwell - Husband: radiologist
Kelley - Husband: oncologist
Agent Unknown
Member
Every scumbag and tramp in this debacle is getting exactly what they deserve and I sincerely hope they continue to get what they deserve and then some.
Long hours?
Byakuya769
Member
That, or they bagged needy women with an affinity for status...
True, true. Hope they got a pre-nup.
oneils
Member
This isn't quite right either. I don't believe the FBI agent was ever on the case. He forwarded the complaibt for action to a local office. He was not part of the investigative team but it sounds like he became a subject of the investigation.
I remember Paula Broadwell is married to a radiologist. still MD though
I wonder if he has an Ipod that only plays "Can't Get Used to Losing You."
Dreams-Visions
Member
Let this be a reminder: Pussy is the King of the Ring.
It's never lost a bout, and seemingly never will.
It's never lost a bout, and seemingly never will.
could squeeze cum out of a stone
Byakuya769
Member
Ah, that's correct. I'll go edit.
Creator and destroyer of worlds.
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