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[p_xavier]

A young NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt discovers TATAs

 

[Peggies]

Love it. lol I can't wait to get home from work. Gonna have my usual drink finish changing out the fuel line and oil filter on the mower that I've had sitting under a tarp for days now lol. Then Saturday it's off to Jacksonville FL for marriage consoling. OOFF.

Don't say anything stupid

 

[Idleyes]

 

[Rentahamster]

Tell them how much you love talking about your feelings. What could possibly go wrong?

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

 

[Peggies]

Just remember when we talked about telling the truth.

There's the truth

And there's the truth

 

[Maiden Voyage]

So I got confirmation today that I am getting promoted. Some of my team is getting promoted. And my team is doubling in size. That proposal I put together was greenlit. And I get to hire all the positions by end of Q1 or early Q2.

 

[Idleyes]

Objective:
To secure a role where I can do the bare minimum, dip out when things get serious, and remind the team what it truly means to struggle together. I strive to be the coworker that makes you rethink your life choices, but also gives y'all something to laugh about in the break room.

Skills:

• Elite level "I'm on my way" texter while still at home
• Master of clocking in, then immediately taking a bathroom break
• Can turn a simple assignment into a group project you didn't ask for
• Accidentally breaks expensive equipment and then asks if it was already like that
• Specializes in "my bad y'all" as a lifestyle
• Proficient in loud sighing, shoulder shrugs, and vanishing
• Advanced talent for giving management a migraine

Experience:
2020–Present — Workplace Distraction Technician

• Messed up tasks so badly they created new SOPs
• Successfully hid in the back multiple times during rush hour
• Asked "what we doing today?" at 3 pm
• Provided emotional support to coworkers by being the universal scapegoat

Education:

• GED (Good Enough Drip)
• Certificate in "Bro I Thought You Sent That Email"

References:
Everybody said "Nah."

 

[Rentahamster]

So I got confirmation today that I am getting promoted. Some of my team is getting promoted. And my team is doubling in size. That proposal I put together was greenlit. And I get to hire all the positions by end of Q1 or early Q2.

Let me know when you need the celebratory hamsters.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

Let me know when you need the celebratory hamsters.

You still have the colon chute for rent, right?

 

[John Marston]

My next door neighbour put this little elf doll on the stairs leading to our apartments.
I'm afraid it's gonna get me in my sleep

 

[Idleyes]

Just don't leave him hanging and you'll be fine. Anyone who walks past without giving him dap on the way in or out… well, sleep with one eye open.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Looks European.

 

[Peggies]

My next door neighbour put this little elf doll on the stairs leading to our apartments.
I'm afraid it's gonna get me in my sleep

 

[Peggies]

 

[Idleyes]

Tell them how much you love talking about your feelings. What could possibly go wrong?

One scene just played out in my head like..

Therapist: So what seems to be the issue?
Wife: I want us to pray together. He treats prayer like it's interrupting a boss fight.
ME: In my defense, you usually are.
Wife: You can pause the game.
ME: You never pause during a cutscene. That's federal law.
Therapist: Alright, let's talk about it. Sir, what's going on with your spiritual life?
ME: Well… since we're being honest… I don't have one.
Wife: He asked my pastor what buffs he'd get from Bible study.
Therapist: Do you two connect spiritually at all?
ME: She prays. I try not to make Super Mario or Pac Man death FX when she does it.
Wife: He literally whispered "achievement unlocked" when I finished a devotional.
Therapist: Alright. I think I understand now.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

As a veteran of the single life, my brain short-circuits a little when I try to understand that.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

My next door neighbour put this little elf doll on the stairs leading to our apartments.
I'm afraid it's gonna get me in my sleep

 

[HRK69]

Got my first win! Turns out you can jump for an extra boost. Game-changing.

This game is amazing and super addictive!

 

[Peggies]

As a veteran of the single life, my brain short-circuits a little when I try to understand that.

I don't know why, but this is the best picture to show what long term relationships are like

Awesome movie btw

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

I don't know why, but this is the best picture to show what long term relationships are like

Awesome movie btw

Even if you marry your soul mate?

 

[Peggies]

Even if you marry your soul mate?

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Random snaps:

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

 

[Idleyes]

As a veteran of the single life, my brain short-circuits a little when I try to understand that.

As a former long-term veteran of the single life and soon to re-engage singleness, my brain short-circuits trying to understand that mess too.

 

[Dacvak]

Man there's nothing worse than just sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office.

At least it's Friday though!

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

As a former long-term veteran of the single life and soon to re-engage singleness, my brain short-circuits trying to understand that mess too.

Hope for salvation remains.

 

[Idleyes]

Random snaps:

yo, I love the art style on that shirt.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

yo, I love the art style on that shirt.

Pop Catch T-Shirt White

100% cotton catch artwork printed on front shoulder panels herringbone neck tape made in portugal

poptradingcompany.com

 

[Rentahamster]

You still have the colon chute for rent, right?

The Tunnel of Love?

Yes.

 

[p_xavier]

Will be a boring Friday. Sober days incoming.

 

[DragoonKain]

Update: this just happened again. I went to snap a photo, but when I grabbed my phone he had started moving. This guy wasn't on his phone though he was just standing there like a statue for about a minute or so. Same exact spot. Maybe there's a hole in the spacetime continuum?

Happened again about 20 minutes ago. This is absurd.

 

[Idleyes]

Think I'm gonna find one of these over the top Bollywood movies to watch when I get home. Leaving work now. I'm in that mood.

 

[p_xavier]

Man there's nothing worse than just sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office.

At least it's Friday though!

You enjoy the rectal probing more than waiting?

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Think I'm gonna find one of these over the top Bollywood movies to watch when I get home. Leaving work now. I'm in that mood.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Think I'm gonna find one of these over the top Bollywood movies to watch when I get home. Leaving work now. I'm in that mood.

Grew up watching those specifically the Tollywood movies

 

[Idleyes]

Grew up watching those specifically the Tollywood movies

Reminds me of the old fu flicks like five deadly venoms and anything with Shaolin in the name. Over the top stuff with poor quality effects just does something to me. Poor sound quality too. I like watching and sample old black and white films too.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Reminds me of the old fu flicks like five deadly venoms and anything with Shaolin in the name. Over the top stuff with poor quality effects just does something to me. Poor sound quality too. I like watching and sample old black and white films too.

Nowadays the cheesiness isn't for me when it comes to Bollywood/Tollywood but I do watch the occasional stuff nowadays

 

[AJUMP23]

So I got confirmation today that I am getting promoted. Some of my team is getting promoted. And my team is doubling in size. That proposal I put together was greenlit. And I get to hire all the positions by end of Q1 or early Q2.

Finding qualified people is tough. As a hiring manager in jobs requiring degrees finding people that can just talk sucks.

I interviewed one lady for a secretary role and she talked about how she wanted to run the business. I was thinking you just need to maintain the schedule.

 

[Idleyes]

I'm complete garbage at interviews but I've always gotten the job. All the questions get asked gets answered with "whatever company policy says I should do" and "whatever you're paying me to do". Those two serve as the core to all my answers depending on the question. Like where do you see yourself in x amount of years, doing whatever it is the company wants me to do in exchange for money.

 

[DragoonKain]

My one friend who is the laziest SOB on the planet does this thing where when he doesn't want to do something but doesn't have a legitimate reason for not wanting to do it other than he's just lazy, he uses the line "I'm really focused on ____ right now…" to make it sound less sad than "I don't feel like doing it."

This was me texting him earlier telling him he should watch the movie One Battle After Another. Like thinking about a work trip and buying a PS5 somehow inhibits you from watching a movie. (And btw. he's not gonna buy the PS5)

Update: he opted not to buy the PS5.

It's a running joke with my friend group that this particular friend always opts to pass on pretty much everything when it comes to doing something new, buying something new, trying something new, etc. And the funny thing is these things are always his idea that he hypes up on his own and then when the day of reckoning comes it's always "Yeah… I think I'm gonna pass." There's a 10 year streak where he'll text or call me telling me that he's excited to get a specific thing on Black Friday and the last 10 Black Fridays have gone by without him buying a thing

 

[Maiden Voyage]

I don't know how to celebrate this cool shit happening at work. I already bought my camera so maybe that it. Anyone have any other ideas?

 

[John Marston]

I don't know how to celebrate this cool shit happening at work. I already bought my camera so maybe that it. Anyone have any other ideas?

Eat one of your favorite meals then hire a high end escort for an hour to do chores around your house.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

Eat one of your favorite meals then hire a high end escort for an hour to do chores around your house.

I wouldn't even know how to hire an escort if I had the option.

 

[nush]

Eat one of your favorite meals then hire a high end escort for an hour to do chores around your house.

And take photos.

 

[John Marston]

I wouldn't even know how to hire an escort if I had the option.

A cool chick I hired back in 2012 actually did my dishes while sipping her glass of wine when we still had 25 minutes on the clock.

It was funny

 

[Peggies]

Freedom!
Serious gym hitting!
Warhammer audiobook!

Happy Saturday boys

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Eat one of your favorite meals then hire a high end escort for an hour to do chores around your house.

I would have other "uses" for that high end escort

 

[nush]

I would have other "uses" for that high end escort

But what about the remaining 55 minutes?

 

[Dacvak]

I don't know how to celebrate this cool shit happening at work. I already bought my camera so maybe that it. Anyone have any other ideas?

Buy a new grill, or a nice new power tool.