Support NeoGAF

[O.v.e.rlord]

How about just not getting married lol

 

[ResurrectedContrarian]

In our case it's not really a lack of will, more like a lack of resources combined with a fear of what's to come. Basically, the 2008 recession wreaked havoc on my country's economic stability and while the cost of living has kept on rising and essentials keep going up in price the wages have not. Basically, people have to choose between prosperity or having kids as for a huge chunk of people around here the two have become mutually exclusive. Some of my college educated friends (most of us are, higher education is about 1000€ a year here so it's accessible to most) are making as little as 11000€ a year 15 years into their careers. I'm talking about engineers and pharmaceutical professionals, here, not primary school teachers. You won't find a cheap 2 bedroom apartment under 1000€ in Lisbon these days, you think people are keen on having kids when they can barely cover their own costs in their mid 30s? Forget about disposable incomes, that's a luxury very few in our generation get to enjoy... hell, I have no idea what it even feels like!
As for some other examples within my social group the main concern with some other types seems to be that we're heading headfirst into a disastrous age, environmentally speaking, and some cases of wealthy enough couples I know just don't feel it's right to bring a kid into such a world (this is the one that generates heated discussions as some of the ones that do have kids feel very passionately about this issue).
In other words, in both cases... capitalism is what went so awry. Specifically, the decadence of late stage unregulated capitalism is what's to blame when it comes to my social circle. Be it for relentlessly exploiting the planet beyond sustainability to meet demands rather than finding an alternative or the sheer greed it enabled. =D

That is indeed unfortunate, and probably the future for a lot of places. I'm no fan of unbridled global-market destruction of the world.

 

[Breakage]

So it’s about finding someone who submissive enough to carry on your family name and letting there family name die out if there is no Male offspring in that family?

There's nothing "submissive" about it. If a woman is happy to take her husband's name, then what's wrong with that? I would establish whether a woman finds my views on relationships and marriage (among other things) agreeable before even considering a romantic relationship. If she finds my views disagreeable then we don't go down the romantic path. It's that simple. No coercion.
Families who care about tradition and keeping the family name alive usually try to have at least one son. For example, all the Muslim families I know of have several sons within them. If keeping the family name alive really matters, a couple will do something about it. If it doesn't, then they are unlikely to care about their daughter losing her maiden name.

And c'mon now, it's a bit silly to insist someone relinquish passing on their family name to their kids, no? Isn't that the whole point of having kids, making someone new who's a bit of both of you?

I'm not insisting that anyone do anything. If a woman wants to do that, she can find someone who is happy to double-barrel the surnames of her children.
Go and look at the Wiki entry for double-barrelled names and see how ridiculously pompus and bloated they can become.
You've got to draw the line somewhere -- I draw it at more than one surname.

 

[bitbydeath]

If your surname is Dicksuckem or anything embarrassing like that than just take the L and get your wife's surname. Don't put the kid through the same hell you've been through.
Otherwise, I don't care.

I don’t know. I once knew a guy with the surname Dick and his girl happily took it.

 

[TrainedRage]

Cucks,
Subs,
and Soy;
Oh boy!

 

[JimmyJones]

Kind of wish the word cuck would go away. Sounds like something an "edgy" teenager would say.

Sounds like something a cuck would say.

 

[Rentahamster]

Just do whatever you want. Tradition isn't a good reason to do anything.

I have a friend who took his wife's last name because his own family is full of assholes. Worked out fine.

 

[brap]

Pretty fucking cucky. If the wife doesn't want the guys name then don't bother.

 

[eddie4]

 

[#Phonepunk#]

i think it's cool man. many cultures have lineages that pass through the mother's side anyways.

 

[Tesseract]

i think it's cool man. many cultures have lineages that pass through the mother's side anyways.

nah dawg

 

[SurprisedPikachu]

I took on my wifes last name because it was easier and because my original last name had gotten some bad stigma thanks to my biological father. I wanted to get away from my family and their drama completely. My wife had her shit together - certificates, IRAs, etc. All I had was a bank account and an apartment. So we talked about it. We were originally going to change our last names to something else entirely, but then we settled on changing it to her last name because of the reasons above.

 

[NickFire]

I Iike tradition so If she had a problem taking my surname, it would be a deal breaker.

I feel the same for myself. I know people from other cultures might think much differently because in some places changing the name is far less common, and people may disagree with me for other reasons. For me personally though, I would not proceed because marriage is very hard, as an institution it has lost so much meaning, and for the higher earner it is a huge gamble that your spouse will either stay committed or take 1/2 your stuff. If someone objects to a significant tradition (where it is common) going into it, one thing I assume is that "until death do us part" is just words, and someday down the line someone would lose 1/2 their stuff as soon as things get tough.

 

[Z..]

Go and look at the Wiki entry for double-barrelled names and see how ridiculously pompus and bloated they can become.

Completely agree. I've referred to them in this very thread as dumbfuckery, even. Which is why I tried making it clear that's NOT what I mean at all.

You've got to draw the line somewhere -- I draw it at more than one surname.

Maybe this is a cultural thing I just can't understand but that seems so incredibly arbitrary. It's pretty common for people to have anywhere between 2 and 6 (most commonly at least two and usually under 5) surnames around here in Iberia so I really just don't understand what the actual issue with having more than one family name is, can you explain it to me? The last name is still the one that "counts" the most and carries the prestige so to speak so I really don't understand (as in, at all) what the detriment of having more than one family name is.

 

[lock2k]

i think it's cool man. many cultures have lineages that pass through the mother's side anyways.

Spain does it, right?

 

[Psajdak]

They aren't men.

 

[Chittagong]

Always take the cooler surname. The more rare, more aristocratic, or better sounding. Doesn’t matter which side it’s from.

 

[highrider]

this is what chumps do for pussy crumbs

.

 

[Ichabod]

We need to go deeper. Both people take the letters of their last names, put them in a online word scrambler, and pick a new last name from the results.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Either spouse taking the other person's name..... who cares. But if that's what they want to do, do it.

If I ever get married, if she wants to keep her last name go ahead. I;'m not taking her's though. I'm sticking with mine.

She can join or keep her own. No problem for me. Actually, it's a blessing if nobody changes names. That person doesn't have to go through any BS doing name change forms anywhere.

 

[CSmath22]

 

[Musky_Cheese]

If my name was Marty, and her last name was Mcfly... I’m taking her name

 

[CeroFrio996]

I don't think it really matters. It should be a decision made between two equal parties. Take his name, take her name, hyphenate, make up a brand new one, why does it matter?

 

[EverydayBeast]

I don't think it matters anyway.

I don't think it really matters. It should be a decision made between two equal parties. Take his name, take her name, hyphenate, make up a brand new one, why does it matter?

And so this thread is done. I'm looking for someone who doesn't guy by any name.

 

[Tesseract]

buncha crumb chumps in dis thread

ty basis matt

 

[Valonquar]

Basically I take it as further proof that I have lived too long already.

 

[farmerboy]

I took on my wifes last name because it was easier and because my original last name had gotten some bad stigma thanks to my biological father. I wanted to get away from my family and their drama completely. My wife had her shit together - certificates, IRAs, etc. All I had was a bank account and an apartment. So we talked about it. We were originally going to change our last names to something else entirely, but then we settled on changing it to her last name because of the reasons above.

If your happy then no problem. Go for it.

But I couldn't do it, and that's nothing really to brag about, in some ways I'm really conservative and traditional.

 

[SurprisedPikachu]

If your happy then no problem. Go for it.

But I couldn't do it, and that's nothing really to brag about, in some ways I'm really conservative and traditional.

Yeah, I probably would’ve never done it hadn’t my family not been a bunch of cunts.

 

[Cato]

Could be worse. He could be taking the Bull's name.

 

[MrRogers]

She can keep hers, but the kids get mine, easy

 

[Chairman Tickles]

Iceland has a funky system. Both husband and wife keep their names. If they have a son, the son takes on the first name of the husband followed by 'son' for his surname. So the son of Thor Bjornson can be be called Lief Thorson or Lief son of thor. Not sure how daughter names work though.

It's kind of fucky though, everybody except brothers in the same family can end up with different surnames. This was by design though, due to the small population of the island. It served to separate men into different family names so inbreeding didn't seem so common at least on paper (it was/is). The chances of accidentally marrying your cousin in Iceland are relatively high, but its very hard to know for sure thanks to the fucky naming genealogy. What you don't know can't hurt you hehe

 

[ULTROS!]

I dunno, I think it's very uncommon to do that, but whatever makes them happy I guess, as long as they ain't gonna push it to other people.

Though it's common for the women to hyphenate their names so they can retain their family names if they want (I think this is preferable if your last name is pretty known/elite circles/professionals) i.e. Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter.

 

[waxer]

I joined names with my Asian wife. Lol

She didn't ask me to though it was my idea.

I knew that with one child rule that her father was a bit disappointed name wouldn't continue (continues with boys) so offered to join as a sign of respect to him.

 

[V4skunk]

I prefer everyone just keeps their own surenames.

As a guy, i never cared about this tradition anyway. I get men used to have much more power over women in the past so i guess it makes sense it even exists. But doing the opposite (getting your wife's surename) seems like a retaliation of some sort which is an even stupider reason to go with it.

Out side of the west women are pretty much treated like shit. Women here are incredibly lucky.

 

[Punished Miku]

I prefer everyone just keeps their own surenames.

As a guy, i never cared about this tradition anyway. I get men used to have much more power over women in the past so i guess it makes sense it even exists. But doing the opposite (getting your wife's surename) seems like a retaliation of some sort which is an even stupider reason to go with it.

That sounds great. But then the question is what to do with the kids. In a few generations, they'd have several last names piling up.

 

[Cato]

Iceland has a funky system. Both husband and wife keep their names. If they have a son, the son takes on the first name of the husband followed by 'son' for his surname. So the son of Thor Bjornson can be be called Lief Thorson or Lief son of thor. Not sure how daughter names work though.

It's kind of fucky though, everybody except brothers in the same family can end up with different surnames. This was by design though, due to the small population of the island. It served to separate men into different family names so inbreeding didn't seem so common at least on paper (it was/is). The chances of accidentally marrying your cousin in Iceland are relatively high, but its very hard to know for sure thanks to the fucky naming genealogy. What you don't know can't hurt you hehe

EDIT: this is not isolated to iceland. This was how names worked in all of scandinavia before they converted to christianity.

The daughters name would be "Thorsdottir"
As Thorson literally means "son of thor", Thorsdottir literally means "daughter of thor".

It is from the pre-christianity age of vikings long before there was a thing called christian names.
The *son names are still very very common in scandinavia as a relic of this, although the *dotter(swedish version of dottir) is quite rare today.
The most common surname by far in sweden is Johanson, even today.


I would say this is similar to pre-christianity anglo-saxian naming convention where your surname was determined by your profession.
Hence the common surnames in the english speaking world such as "Painter, Baker, Carpenter." etc.
If your name was John and you worked as a baker, your full name would be John Baker.

 

[Cato]

Iceland has a funky system. Both husband and wife keep their names. If they have a son, the son takes on the first name of the husband followed by 'son' for his surname. So the son of Thor Bjornson can be be called Lief Thorson or Lief son of thor. Not sure how daughter names work though.

It's kind of fucky though, everybody except brothers in the same family can end up with different surnames. This was by design though, due to the small population of the island. It served to separate men into different family names so inbreeding didn't seem so common at least on paper (it was/is). The chances of accidentally marrying your cousin in Iceland are relatively high, but its very hard to know for sure thanks to the fucky naming genealogy. What you don't know can't hurt you hehe

Also,
No please, no one ever had the name Lief, ever.
MY first name though is LEIF, as is a very common name in scandinavia.
Leif Erikson discovered north america about 500 years before Columbus so I carry that name with pride

 

[nkarafo]

That sounds great. But then the question is what to do with the kids. In a few generations, they'd have several last names piling up.

Yeah, i didn't go that far.

Maybe make up a new surname for the kids based on the two?

Or they can get the father's like how it always been.

 

[Cunth]

EDIT: this is not isolated to iceland. This was how names worked in all of scandinavia before they converted to christianity.

The daughters name would be "Thorsdottir"
As Thorson literally means "son of thor", Thorsdottir literally means "daughter of thor".

It is from the pre-christianity age of vikings long before there was a thing called christian names.
The *son names are still very very common in scandinavia as a relic of this, although the *dotter(swedish version of dottir) is quite rare today.
The most common surname by far in sweden is Johanson, even today.


I would say this is similar to pre-christianity anglo-saxian naming convention where your surname was determined by your profession.
Hence the common surnames in the english speaking world such as "Painter, Baker, Carpenter." etc.
If your name was John and you worked as a baker, your full name would be John Baker.

These days I guess Mohammedson is quite common in Sweden

 

[Cato]

These days I guess Mohammedson is quite common in Sweden

Well, I doubt they keep up the old traditions

 

[GreatnessRD]

I know this 2019 and all, but us grown men ain't playing these games tuh-dey! Our waterheads are gonna carry on my last name. Bitch, you gon' take my last name and like it!*


*Use of the word bitch may or may not get you pieced down by your woman. User discretion is advised!

 

[JimmyRustler]

Depends on the reason why he's taking the name I guess.

For instance, I don't really like my surname because as my father died when I was very young the only thing I connect with it is my drunk asshole of a grandfather. So if my wife would have a cool surname, I'd take it in an instant.

But taking the name because my wife wants me to.... erm... no.

 

[quickwhips]

That's exactly where it stems from, women were seen as property. That's a historical fact, not extrapolating on my part. Tradition has kept such conventions going, but let's not act like we don't know exactly why the status quo is the way it is.

Yeah because i bet kids dont like knowing they share the same name as their mother and father. Its all about depowering women and not building a better family unit. /s

 

[Hissing Sid]

I had a chat about this with the lady in question last night during pillow talk. She told me she couldn’t believe he was actually going to do it. After we’d stopped laughing I gave her bottom a hearty slap and she hurried off to fetch me a cold one.

You don’t need a crystal ball to predict this guys future. Financial servitude and every other weekend seeing his ex wife’s kids.

I’ll give it maybe 2-3 years before he walks in on his missus blowing an Amazon courier on the couch... On the couch that he purchased. Surrounded by Amazon parcels that he bought. In the house that he’s still paying for.

No doubt he’ll apologise for interrupting.

It’s not too lat OP. Tell him to face his girlfriend, turn 180 degrees and run the fuck away at top speed.

 

[nikolino840]

I had a chat about this with the lady in question last night during pillow talk. She told me she couldn’t believe he was actually going to do it. After we’d stopped laughing I gave her bottom a hearty slap and she hurried off to fetch me a cold one.

You don’t need a crystal ball to predict this guys future. Financial servitude and every other weekend seeing his ex wife’s kids.

I’ll give it maybe 2-3 years before he walks in on his missus blowing an Amazon courier on the couch... On the couch that he purchased. Surrounded by Amazon parcels that he bought. In the house that he’s still paying for.

No doubt he’ll apologise for interrupting.

It’s not too lat OP. Tell him to face his girlfriend, turn 180 degrees and run the fuck away at top speed.

Just for a surename? I m not Surprise that there Is a lot of lesbian girls

 

[Stilton Disco]

I actually took my wife's surname when we got married.

Basically, I'm the youngest of 3 brothers and have loads of nieces and nephews with my surname (not to mention cousins etc), while she's the oldest of 3 sisters, neither of whom have kids, one of them doesnt want them at all, the other does but wants to get married first and intends to take her future husband's name. None of her cousins share her family name, since she only has one aunt.

When we were discussing various pre marriage things I actually suggested it, since I'm close to her family and her dad used to be my department head at the lab we worked at, so I greatly respect the man, and we both thought it would be nice to share a surname and my changing mine would keep her families name going, while my horde of close relatives did mine.

Yeah, it's a bit unusual, but we thought it was a nice idea that her folks appreciated, and we're happy with.

And no, she's not an SJW. Quite the opposite infact, very much hates the current 'woke' culture and has very traditional views on gender roles and family life. It just made sense to us given our circumstances.

 

[Yoshi]

I do not care one way or the other, my wife could choose. We took mine. It's just a name.

 

[BigBooper]

I have never known anyone to do that. I could maybe understand if the wife was well known and the guy was a nobody. Otherwise, it immediately makes me think of all the immasculated wriggles.

 

[IKSTUGA]

I have never known anyone to do that. I could maybe understand if the wife was well known and the guy was a nobody. Otherwise, it immediately makes me think of all the immasculated wriggles.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Stilton Disco]

I have never known anyone to do that. I could maybe understand if the wife was well known and the guy was a nobody. Otherwise, it immediately makes me think of all the immasculated wriggles.

My thoughts exactly.

Ok, I know I shouldn't take this personally, but I feel compelled to point out that I'm 6ft 6, used to play rugby, spend half my life outdoors camping, canoeing and hiking through the countryside, do a lot of DIY and the maintenance and repair on my car myself and unusually for a Brit I have a great deal of experience with shotguns and am broadly pro gun ownership.

My taking my wife's family name is purely due our families personal circumstances.