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What do you think of men taking their wives surname?

Thaedolus

Gold Member
I don't know anyone who's done it, but wouldn't think anything of it if someone did. I told my sisters I was going to do it as a joke, and kept it up for so long they practically staged a family intervention though. I thought that was hilarious they cared so much...but it made my wife embarrassed because she thought they'd think she's some psycho hose beast forcing me to do it. It was always her plan to take my name.

What I really get judgey about is hyphenating. That's obnoxious. Either keep your name or take the new one, don't just keep adding to your name.
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
tenor.gif
 

BigBooper

Member
Ok, I know I shouldn't take this personally, but I feel compelled to point out that I'm 6ft 6, used to play rugby, spend half my life outdoors camping, canoeing and hiking through the countryside, do a lot of DIY and the maintenance and repair on my car myself and unusually for a Brit I have a great deal of experience with shotguns and am broadly pro gun ownership.

My taking my wife's family name is purely due our families personal circumstances.
Obviously everybody has different circumstances. I was responding more about my gut reaction to hearing this type of scenario. I'm not exactly a butch manly man, more like a regular slob.
 
Obviously everybody has different circumstances. I was responding more about my gut reaction to hearing this type of scenario. I'm not exactly a butch manly man, more like a regular slob.

Hey no worries mate, just me wanting to make things clear. I know how unusual it is and in this day and age, with the whole 'toxic masculinity' bollocks going around I dont want anyone thinking I'm some male femenist weirdo.

Also fully agree with everyone on the hyphenated name bollocks. Don't half arse marriage like that.
 

008

Banned
My wife’s brother is a new age soyboy type. Completely obedient to his girlfriend. They are getting married and he said he is going to take her name (cause she told him to) and their mother is pissed. What do you think about men taking the girls name? I don’t really care if people keep their own names but the man changing his name seems really weak to me.

Who gives a shit. If they're happy let them be
 

daveonezero

Banned
Who fucking cares. Marriage sanctioned by the state is already a messed up thing to do.

I hate how here on Neogaf any sign of vulnerability or femininity means weak as well. Y’all need to get in touch with sacred masculine and feminine energy and own yourself.

Y’all are a bunch of weak sacks. Definitely not as strong or resilient as a pussy. Be comfortable with strong woman.

That doesn’t mean this wave of feminism is good in fact it’s a crap take on things.

But adopting archaic things like men owning women with marriage and their name isn’t helping either. Everyone talking about soyboys and sissies Come off as super insecure to me.
 

Thaedolus

Gold Member
Who gives a shit. If they're happy let them be

Well, I think the greater issue at play isn't necessarily the name thing, but that OP said he's being told to do something. That's not how happy relationships work. If it were a request and he didn't give a shit it's one thing, but if he's being ordered around, that's not a setup for success.
 

Otterz4Life

Member
If your surname is Dicksuckem or anything embarrassing like that than just take the L and get your wife's surname. Don't put the kid through the same hell you've been through.
Otherwise, I don't care.
This so much. If she has a better surname, why the hell not?
 

008

Banned
Well, I think the greater issue at play isn't necessarily the name thing, but that OP said he's being told to do something. That's not how happy relationships work. If it were a request and he didn't give a shit it's one thing, but if he's being ordered around, that's not a setup for success.

True, but we don't really know their relationship.

I wouldn't care if I adopted my woman's surname, shit I tossed my grandfather's World War 2 Purple Heart in the trashcan
 

Ellis

Member
Men that get cheated on a dozen times but are stupid enough to forgive them every time.

Those are the men that take the surname of the wife.
 

Z..

Member
Yeah because i bet kids dont like knowing they share the same name as their mother and father. Its all about depowering women and not building a better family unit. /s
Again, that is how it is for most of the world. Why is everyone fine elsewhere if it's so essential?
Getting tired of addressing such empty rhetoric, to be honest...
 

bucyou

Member
True, but we don't really know their relationship.

I wouldn't care if I adopted my woman's surname, shit I tossed my grandfather's World War 2 Purple Heart in the trashcan

Well my Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway
 

Ecto311

Member
Posts and ideas like this wish Patrice O'Neal was still around. People need to go listen to his take on relationships and the dynamics and what they mean to them. This cuck bitch may consider giving up his name. I don't know if the lady should (even though mine did) take his last name but giving that up is insane to me and I am a fairly progressive person in most regards.
 
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DFawkes

Neo Member
Posts and ideas like this wish Patrice O'Neal was still around. People need to go listen to his take on relationships and the dynamics and what they mean to them. This cuck bitch may consider giving up his name. I don't know if the lady should (even though mine did) take his last name but giving that up is insane to me and I am a fairly progressive person in most regards.
Absolutely. Listening to the Black Phillip Show was a huge education for me, and one that the vast, vast majority of men today don't get. How could they? All of society essentially gas lights us to believe that the way we would like things to be, is the way things are.
 
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quickwhips

Member
Again, that is how it is for most of the world. Why is everyone fine elsewhere if it's so essential?
Getting tired of addressing such empty rhetoric, to be honest...
Most of the world wish they were usa. They hate us because they aint us.
 

Papa

Banned
Who fucking cares. Marriage sanctioned by the state is already a messed up thing to do.

I hate how here on Neogaf any sign of vulnerability or femininity means weak as well. Y’all need to get in touch with sacred masculine and feminine energy and own yourself.

Y’all are a bunch of weak sacks. Definitely not as strong or resilient as a pussy. Be comfortable with strong woman.

That doesn’t mean this wave of feminism is good in fact it’s a crap take on things.

But adopting archaic things like men owning women with marriage and their name isn’t helping either. Everyone talking about soyboys and sissies Come off as super insecure to me.

ULMC.gif
 

Z..

Member
Most of the world wish they were usa. They hate us because they aint us.

If this is the kind of brilliant insight you're bringing to the table, I'm done. And just for reference, most of the world wishes they were Scandinavia, if anything.
 

Papa

Banned
True, but we don't really know their relationship.

I wouldn't care if I adopted my woman's surname, shit I tossed my grandfather's World War 2 Purple Heart in the trashcan

Well you’re a bit of a cunt then aren’t you? 99% sure you’re just another idiot lying on the internet though.
 

Krappadizzle

Gold Member
I would never take my wife's name, but I wouldn't have been against her hyphenating her's when we were married. She chose to make her maiden name her middle name and take my last name. Taking her's wasn't for me, but I don't really care what other people do with their decisions in their marriage. They got to live with that shit, not me. If a dude wants to take his wifes last name for whatever reason, let them do it. I can say having the same last names makes things easier in regards to paper work and taxes and shit. A buddy at work has been married for 5 or 6 years and his wife never took his last name, say's they are constantly running into issues legally with things. They got sick of it and she's supposedly going this week to change her last name to not have to deal with it anymore.

True, but we don't really know their relationship.

I wouldn't care if I adopted my woman's surname, shit I tossed my grandfather's World War 2 Purple Heart in the trashcan

Geez, this is a super cunty thing to do. Even if you didn't like who your grandfather was by the end of his life, the sacrifice at the time could not be overstated. The people during WW2 are called the greatest generation for a reason. So incredible disrespectful.
 
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Papa

Banned
If this is the kind of brilliant insight you're bringing to the table, I'm done. And just for reference, most of the world wishes they were Scandinavia, if anything.

You’re getting dismissive, obtuse responses because you yourself are being dismissive and obtuse. It has been explained to you ad nauseam that no one is talking about Latin naming conventions — we are talking about men taking the woman’s name and hyphenated names. Yet here you are, still having a separate conversation with yourself.
 

Z..

Member
You’re getting dismissive, obtuse responses because you yourself are being dismissive and obtuse. It has been explained to you ad nauseam that no one is talking about Latin naming conventions — we are talking about men taking the woman’s name and hyphenated names.

I was never dismissive. You attempted to assert that my points didn't apply on a topic that I myself brought up to begin with and now it's you who's being dismissive by saying no one is talking about naming conventions outside the english language even though they were brought up multiple times by other users in the thread. And the conventions I've brought up are certainly not limited to the latin languages (though even if they were, that'd still be highly relevant seeing as even in the US alone there's upwards of 50 million hispanic citizens). I'll grant you the topic was indeed created for that specific purpose as the OP as made painfully obvious, however... I don't understand the point of opening up a dialogue on such a broad topic if the focus of the discussion is to be limited only to very specific and regional naming conventions and anyone who dares exist outside such limited regional conditions is immediately met with vitriol. In most cultures, taking up a partner's name doesn't immediately imply relinquishing your own, so "men taking the woman's name" isn't as miopic a subject as you seem to want to make it, nor were hyphenated names even mentioned before I first mentioned double naming (which has nothing to do with double barrelled names). Your hostilty towards me seems to stem from the fact that I simply hail from a different culture and I'm somehow to blame for not assuming something that applies globably was being discussed on a very specific scale (even though no mention of such exclusivity of parameters was made)... in an international discussion forum, mind you!

Yet here you are, still having a separate conversation with yourself.

I'm only and solely replying to posts quoting mine at this point, how does this apply?

That’s white supremacy

Good trolling deserves recognition, that was a good one, kudos!
 
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Papa

Banned
I was never dismissive. You attempted to assert that my points didn't apply on a topic that I myself brought up to begin with and now it's you who's being dismissive by saying no one is talking about naming conventions outside the english language even though they were brought up multiple times by other users in the thread. And the conventions I've brought up are certainly not limited to the latin languages (though even if they were, that'd still be highly relevant seeing as even in the US alone there's upwards of 50 million hispanic citizens). I'll grant you the topic was indeed created for that specific purpose as the OP as made painfully obvious, however... I don't understand the point of opening up a dialogue on such a broad topic if the focus of the discussion is to be limited only to very specific and regional naming conventions and anyone who dares exist outside such limited regional conditions is immediately met with vitriol. In most cultures, taking up a partner's name doesn't immediately imply relinquishing your own, so "men taking the woman's name" isn't as miopic a subject as you seem to want to make it, nor were hyphenated names even mentioned before I first mentioned double naming (which has nothing to do with double barrelled names). Your hostilty towards me seems to stem from the fact that I simply hail from a different culture and I'm somehow to blame for not assuming something that applies globably was being discussed on a very specific scale (even though no mention of such exclusivity of parameters was made)... in an international discussion forum, mind you!



I'm only and solely replying to posts quoting mine at this point, how does this apply?

1. It’s not an international forum. It’s a US-based forum that is open to international visitors. If it were an international forum, you would be free to post in whatever language you like, but you’re not.

2. The question posed by the OP was in reference to English naming conventions. You’ve been trying very hard to reframe it in terms you can more easily contend with and playing dumb (are you even playing?) when the real context is pointed out to you. This whole back and forth has been about you trying to spin and deflect your way out of admitting you made a mistake and misunderstood what OP meant. If you wanted to suggest Latin naming conventions as a solution to the problem posed by OP, that would’ve been reasonable, but that’s not what you did.

Good trolling deserves recognition, that was a good one, kudos!

😂😂😂

Ye shan’t divide us, weasel.
 

Z..

Member
1. It’s not an international forum. It’s a US-based forum that is open to international visitors. If it were an international forum, you would be free to post in whatever language you like, but you’re not.

Of course it's an international forum. It being US-based means nothing, it being open to (and quite prolifically so, let's not mince words) international visitors and participation immediately makes it so by the very definition of the word... a fact which should be especially obvious considering the vast amount of regional threads we had discussing deals for every major region and even country specific threads for each country's respective community (where people did indeed post in their native languages, not that that's in any way relevant). That this post is coming from an Australian national (I assume) makes it almost too bizarre to even take seriously. What are you on about?


2. The question posed by the OP was in reference to English naming conventions.
You just quoted me saying as much, I'm well aware.

You’ve been trying very hard to reframe it in terms you can more easily contend with.
Absolutely not the case, I was completely unaware the thread was specifically and ONLY about taking up one's wife-to-be's family name if you happen to live in an english speaking country. Read the title and the OP and please do point it out for me where exactly was such a requirement stated or even implied? The phrasing didn't indicate any such limitation nor was the fact that such limitation was a thing immediately apparent or implied since, again, this forum is open to international visitors (like you, me and the OP himself) and we make up a big chunk of the population in here.

and playing dumb (are you even playing?) when the real context is pointed out to you.
I don't think it's a very controversial statement to say that most non-english speaking natives aren't aware you're only allowed to have 1 family name in english language naming customs. I myself lived for over 5 years in the UK and was completely oblivious to this fact, despite being highly integrated with the locals and their culture while I lived there and actually presently working and socializing with Canadian, British, US and Irish nationals on a daily basis. Multiple family names is a common ocurrence many languages, it's not just a latin language thing (and even if it was, there's 800 million of us Vs. 515 million of germanic language native speakers), I don't think being unaware of such a specific custom is that unbelievable that you have to question whether or not I'm being genuine in my ignorance. Also, ignorant ≠ dumb, you seem to have a propensity for unnecessarily resorting to ad hominems despite them only weakening your position, you should work on that.


This whole back and forth has been about you trying to spin and deflect your way out of admitting you made a mistake and misunderstood what OP meant.

You just quoted me admitting it, not to mention that I have made it quite apparent to all (and directed at you specifically) that I obviously misunderstood it.

If you wanted to suggest Latin naming conventions as a solution to the problem posed by OP, that would’ve been reasonable, but that’s not what you did.

But that's exactly what I did... what do you think the whole double name thing was about? I didn't know what a double-barrelled name was until you pointed it out through example (at which point I immediately made sure to reply using latin naming conventions to get my point accross as to what I actually meant by bringing up the both names thing, despite you know claiming I didn't do it), the OP was the one who misunderstood my point because he, like me, was oblivious we were arguing about different naming conventions (again, because it hadn't been made aparent whatsoever at that point in time).

I fear all this may be pointless, though... you have no interest in discussing anything, you're here to antagonize and decontextualize rather than engage in any sort of constructive way.
 
I mean I can't think of it as bad because both Wives and Husbands are warned before beginning that process and they do it so they're find with it why shouldn't I be but it's not my right to judge the lives of others.
 

Papa

Banned
Of course it's an international forum. It being US-based means nothing, it being open to (and quite prolifically so, let's not mince words) international visitors and participation immediately makes it so by the very definition of the word... a fact which should be especially obvious considering the vast amount of regional threads we had discussing deals for every major region and even country specific threads for each country's respective community (where people did indeed post in their native languages, not that that's in any way relevant). That this post is coming from an Australian national (I assume) makes it almost too bizarre to even take seriously. What are you on about?



You just quoted me saying as much, I'm well aware.


Absolutely not the case, I was completely unaware the thread was specifically and ONLY about taking up one's wife-to-be's family name if you happen to live in an english speaking country. Read the title and the OP and please do point it out for me where exactly was such a requirement stated or even implied? The phrasing didn't indicate any such limitation nor was the fact that such limitation was a thing immediately apparent or implied since, again, this forum is open to international visitors (like you, me and the OP himself) and we make up a big chunk of the population in here.


I don't think it's a very controversial statement to say that most non-english speaking natives aren't aware you're only allowed to have 1 family name in english language naming customs. I myself lived for over 5 years in the UK and was completely oblivious to this fact, despite being highly integrated with the locals and their culture while I lived there and actually presently working and socializing with Canadian, British, US and Irish nationals on a daily basis. Multiple family names is a common ocurrence many languages, it's not just a latin language thing (and even if it was, there's 800 million of us Vs. 515 million of germanic language native speakers), I don't think being unaware of such a specific custom is that unbelievable that you have to question whether or not I'm being genuine in my ignorance. Also, ignorant ≠ dumb, you seem to have a propensity for unnecessarily resorting to ad hominems despite them only weakening your position, you should work on that.




You just quoted me admitting it, not to mention that I have made it quite apparent to all (and directed at you specifically) that I obviously misunderstood it.



But that's exactly what I did... what do you think the whole double name thing was about? I didn't know what a double-barrelled name was until you pointed it out through example (at which point I immediately made sure to reply using latin naming conventions to get my point accross as to what I actually meant by bringing up the both names thing, despite you know claiming I didn't do it), the OP was the one who misunderstood my point because he, like me, was oblivious we were arguing about different naming conventions (again, because it hadn't been made aparent whatsoever at that point in time).

I fear all this may be pointless, though... you have no interest in discussing anything, you're here to antagonize and decontextualize rather than engage in any sort of constructive way.

Nope, you’re just someone who can’t admit being wrong and will write paragraphs upon paragraphs trying to squirm your way out of it. You spin me right ‘round, baby!
 

Z..

Member
Nope, you’re just someone who can’t admit being wrong and will write paragraphs upon paragraphs trying to squirm your way out of it. You spin me right ‘round, baby!

Yet not only have I admitted to being wrong about the very thing you want me to SEVERAL times in this very thread including the very post you're now addressing, everything I said can be verified as truthful by literally just parsing this same thread, it's all here, clearly written and unedited.
Repeatedly doubling down on appeals to the stone and being concise with your belittling and dismissive attitude doesn't magically make you lord of reason.
 

008

Banned
Well you’re a bit of a cunt then aren’t you? 99% sure you’re just another idiot lying on the internet though.

How so?

I would never take my wife's name, but I wouldn't have been against her hyphenating her's when we were married. She chose to make her maiden name her middle name and take my last name. Taking her's wasn't for me, but I don't really care what other people do with their decisions in their marriage. They got to live with that shit, not me. If a dude wants to take his wifes last name for whatever reason, let them do it. I can say having the same last names makes things easier in regards to paper work and taxes and shit. A buddy at work has been married for 5 or 6 years and his wife never took his last name, say's they are constantly running into issues legally with things. They got sick of it and she's supposedly going this week to change her last name to not have to deal with it anymore.



Geez, this is a super cunty thing to do. Even if you didn't like who your grandfather was by the end of his life, the sacrifice at the time could not be overstated. The people during WW2 are called the greatest generation for a reason. So incredible disrespectful.

End of his life? No, he was a piece of dog shit within a year of returning home from war. I am happy knowing his medal is rotting at the county landfill 6' under
 

Papa

Banned
You won’t last long here, edgelord.

Assuming you’re not just making it up for attention, did it ever occur to you that he had PTSD from the war? Or that his war medals were recognition of his bravery in service of the nation, not an endorsement of his character? You know that people you otherwise find distasteful are capable of performing good actions, and vice versa, right?
 

Elcid

Banned
My wife’s brother is a new age soyboy type. Completely obedient to his girlfriend. They are getting married and he said he is going to take her name (cause she told him to) and their mother is pissed. What do you think about men taking the girls name? I don’t really care if people keep their own names but the man changing his name seems really weak to me.
There is no pussier act a man can publicly take. This is the equivalent of wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm the bitch in the marriage."
 
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poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Who gives a shit? My wife took my name because it was tradition and she both got to move up in the alphabet. But I would have taken her surname if she felt strongly about it, the only reason to do it is to simplify things by having parents and their kids having the same last name, it's weird to me that people feel so strongly about it.
 

Thaedolus

Gold Member
True, but we don't really know their relationship.

I wouldn't care if I adopted my woman's surname, shit I tossed my grandfather's World War 2 Purple Heart in the trashcan

Nobody who's done anything worthwhile in life and understands sacrifice is going to respect you for that. Sometimes people say things to get a certain reaction or response without realizing what they're doing or saying is going to have the opposite effect. This is a good example.

I don't know anything about your grandfather. I know my grandmother's first husband died fighting to liberate Europe from the clutches of fascism before they turned 20. I know my grandfathers both fought in France, each narrowly escaped death themselves, and saw dear friends fall into the meat grinder that was industrialized warfare. As a kid, maybe I thought a swat upside the head for throwing a tantrum because I didn't get to go swimming anymore made poppa kind of an asshole. As an adult, I think maybe poppa had seen some shit in life and couldn't abide trivialities being treated like the end of the world, so I have a little bit more sympathy for how he reacted to the situation.
 
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