Support NeoGAF

[TimeEffect]

This potential catfish story is sounding pretty interesting, keep us updated, TimeEffect!

Well I asked her out and she stopped replying back but she's still online.

So either I spammed her too much and turned her off, she wasnt attracted to my pics, or she really did go out and will read my message later.

I honestly cant do online dating anymore. I need new pics and need to keep them up, but I still cant find a means to do this, besides taking selfies, which make me look lonely and douchey.

 

[names2hard4you]

Casual Friend's parents asked her to ask me to come to dinner tonight cause they're cooking steaks.

I think her parents like me more than she does. But fuck it, I ain't turning down free filet mignon.

 

[Putosaure]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

 

[TimeEffect]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

Its completely normal to not message the second girl at all. You could if you want to be nice, but truth is she's probably talking to someone else anyway.

You're also more likely to get a hostile reaction from doing so, as she may ask why not, and you dont need to get into that convo

 

[GK86]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

What platform are you using? In general, try to tailor your first message based off something on their profiles. Or a "out-of-left-field" type of message.

Example- Lately, on Tinder, I have sent a first message saying "Gif Dance Battle" and then proceed to send a dancing gif. Done it with three women, two of the three responded positively.

Also, in that scenario, just ghost.

 

[names2hard4you]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

1- Speak to her as a human being. Do you see something interesting in her photos? Is her description funny? Why did you swipe right if you don't know any of these answers? This is a good set of questions if you feel stumped

2- Best thing to do is not answer. Or just speak to her but don't lead her on. No idea what kind of relationship you two have so act accordingly to the level of the relationship you already have.

 

[Llyranor]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

1) How does that make you sound like a douche?

2) If I wasn't interested, I just wouldn't respond. You haven't even established the first basic step of communication, so you're not really ghosting her. Personally, I prefer if someone I messaged doesn't respond. Much preferable to some false hope rejection message or a time-wasting conversation if interest is not mutual.

 

[Salamando]

Hey dating GAF ! Two questions for you, who are experts in human interaction and dating ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm new to that dating thing : what is the best way to send a first message ? I guess I should bounce on something written in her profile but hey, I don't want to look like a douche.
Secondly, and that's a derivation from the first question : there's this girl who sent me a message, and she's not really my type : how can I answer to her gently ? I mean, she made the first step that I can't do right now so I can't ghost her like that...

Thanks !

For my own purposes, I'm assuming a dinosaur wrote that.

If you're on an online dating site, not responding to a first message is normal. It doesn't count as ghosting until there's been dialogue between you two.

A good first message should be short and end with a question. Main beats I like to hit - I like your profile, I'd like to get to know you, <insert question here>.

 

[Messofanego]

Casual Friend's parents asked her to ask me to come to dinner tonight cause they're cooking steaks.

I think her parents like me more than she does. But fuck it, I ain't turning down free filet mignon.

Laughing so hard!

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

 

[Xun]

Casual Friend's parents asked her to ask me to come to dinner tonight cause they're cooking steaks.

I think her parents like me more than she does. But fuck it, I ain't turning down free filet mignon.

But it's not the 14th March yet...

 

[names2hard4you]

Whew lads. I am at an all time high streak when compared to 2015. Some folks shared how much they grew in 2016, and I think I did as well. I'm basically at a point in which I'm getting phone numbers and dates when I want them without much problem.

This dating thing isn't nearly as hard as most folks think it is. This is a reply to everyone on here having troubles, or hesitation in their minds. The person you are into is just that, another person just like you. My honest suggestion: do whatever the heck you want to do, but do it. The folks on here will give you great advice, but I think I learned more from making mistakes when I started off, than by reading stuff online.

My point is, sure it's fine to ask us for advice on what to do, but do stuff on your own too. Take risks. Go on bad dates. Go on good dates. You will grow as a person.

 

[Putosaure]

1) How does that make you sound like a douche?

I don't know. I'm a really introvert person and tend to overthink everything. I guess girls are receiving a lot of horny males messages like "hey how r u" or "ur hot". Maybe I'm wrong, and you'll tell me that I just don't have to write that type of stuff, which I wouldn't have done anyway. I don't know what to do to be catchy but not annoying.

 

[Blitzrules240]

But it's not the 14th March yet...

 

[GK86]

I don't know. I'm a really introvert person and tend to overthink everything. I guess girls are receiving a lot of horny males messages like "hey how r u" or "ur hot". Maybe I'm wrong, and you'll tell me that I just don't have to write that type of stuff, which I wouldn't have done anyway. I don't know what to do to be catchy but not annoying.

"How r u" is a horny message?

What do you say when someone asks you 'how are you?' in real life?

 

[IC5]

Yes, if at all possible, pull something from their profile, into your first message.

Music, tv, arts, sports, other hobbies. Things you notice from pics, such as travel, style, etc.

Any of that stuff could be there. But try to identify which are most important to them. If at a loss, music is always a good choice. People who bother to mention books, are doing it for important reasons.

Anything intellectual which you can extrapolate or lead into, can often work double.

The thing is, many girls get a lot of messages. And most of them are basic two or three word pings. Some of them can be kind of rude.

There are girls who will respond to such messages. However, your chances are better, if you can be a little more complex. This isn't like saying "hi, how are you?" On the street, at the coffee shop, on the light rail, etc.

If you are having trouble saying something particular----then try to express some sort of thought about why you chose to message them.

Example: I am currently looking for a girl who isn't shy, has some boldness in her everyday personality. So if I'm messaging a girl with a minimal profile, its because her pics (sometimes with captions!) make her seem like she isn't shy.

Also, don't get too focused on one person. Sometimes, it becomes law of averages. If you live in a populated area, try to message a few people, per week. You will also figure by doing that, some approaches which work in your area.

Random stuff like announcing a GIF dance battle is fun and random. Some people may not get it. Some people might love it. I wouldn't expect GIF battle responses work as much with people over the age of about 28.

I graduated to phone texting with a girl, recently. Somewhere along the way, I did this thing I like to do when it is 5:55 PM --- I send a text, announcing that its 555. Because alliteration, etc.

Anyway, she had no damn clue what I was doing. My Last two girlfriends loved that. The most recent, did it to me first!

 

[Miles Quaritch]

"How r u" is a horny message?

What do you say when someone asks you 'how are you?' in real life?

My dick is hard thanks for asking.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Whew lads. I am at an all time high streak when compared to 2015. Some folks shared how much they grew in 2016, and I think I did as well. I'm basically at a point in which I'm getting phone numbers and dates when I want them without much problem.

This dating thing isn't nearly as hard as most folks think it is. This is a reply to everyone on here having troubles, or hesitation in their minds. The person you are into is just that, another person just like you. My honest suggestion: do whatever the heck you want to do, but do it. The folks on here will give you great advice, but I think I learned more from making mistakes when I started off, than by reading stuff online.

My point is, sure it's fine to ask us for advice on what to do, but do stuff on your own too. Take risks. Go on bad dates. Go on good dates. You will grow as a person.

Bad dates are just stories to tell on good dates. I didn't get anything more out of them when I was still dating. No lessons learned, nothing I could have changed. Some people just don't know how to behave, some of them seriously made me question how they even had careers, friends or functioned in society.

 

[Putosaure]

"How r u" is a horny message?

No it's not, I kinda misplaced this one

 

[names2hard4you]

Bad dates are just stories to tell on good dates. I didn't get anything more out of them when I was still dating. No lessons learned, nothing I could have changed. Some people just don't know how to behave, some of them seriously made me question how they even had careers, friends or functioned in society.

This is true, specially the bit about these being good tales to tell, but I actually think I always pulled something out of bad dates. I built my personal social skill set by interacting with these people. Good or bad, at that moment that was a date. I've also had terrible dates that taught me to detect red flags early on for example. So again, these were always great experience. I had to go through a bunch of bad to get to where I am at now lol.

 

[Two Words]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

The next time she asks your for your bank digits, tell her only if she gives you her phone digits.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

Pass her a piece of paper with your number on it or hang around outside the bank at closing time and coincidently run into her.

Dont look like your attempting a robbery.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Pass her a piece of paper with your number on it or hang around outside the bank at closing time and coincidently run into her.

Dont look like your attempting a robbery.

People judge by looks a lot, so if you're not confident you can cover up with a ski or hockey mask so she judges you by your attitude and conversation skills.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Pass her a piece of paper with your number on it or hang around outside the bank at closing time and coincidently run into her.

Dont look like your attempting a robbery.

I already joked about robbing the bank, I feel like at this point the bank has me on their suspects list.

I could just give her my business card lol

 

[LyleLanley]

Giving a woman a business card always feels like such a chump move.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

Piece of paper with your number. I honestly dont do the ask out at work thing but in the same notion if you have been talking this is pretty inoffensive unless you make a big deal about it.

 

[TimeEffect]

Edit: blah whatever

 

[LucidMomentum]

But it's not the 14th March yet...

LMAO.

So yeah, dinner went well. Family's fun but a little too conservative just like my family, but I can handle it for an evening here and there.

Steak was delicious. Casual friend was still casual so I think my ship has sailed on that one. Would try beers and steaks with her and the fam anytime though.

 

[ZackieChan]

Teacher. I once matched with a student and didn't even know it. She was 20 (graduated), I was 25, and I was a student teacher when she was in high school and recognized me. Didn't tell me for like 2 days. Thankfully, I was pretty PG (tinder).

So...She wasn't a student anymore when you matched her. What's the big deal?

Well I asked her out and she stopped replying back but she's still online.

So either I spammed her too much and turned her off, she wasnt attracted to my pics, or she really did go out and will read my message later.

I honestly cant do online dating anymore. I need new pics and need to keep them up, but I still cant find a means to do this, besides taking selfies, which make me look lonely and douchey.

So do something cool and take photos. Do you have friends? Have them take photos of you. I just went to Tokyo with a friend and we took photos of each other the whole time. One selfie while doing something cool is fine. You're getting all worked up about everything for no reason at all.

 

[TimeEffect]

So...She wasn't a student anymore when you matched her. What's the big deal?


So do something cool and take photos. Do you have friends? Have them take photos of you. I just went to Tokyo with a friend and we took photos of each other the whole time. One selfie while doing something cool is fine. You're getting all worked up about everything for no reason at all.

she wasnt, but Id still rather not cross that line.

I know I have to take more photos, unfortunately my friends aren't the photo taking kind and I hate the idea of telling them to take them for me. Ill figure it out. Thanks for advice

 

[Llyranor]

Just put your camera on a timer if you can't even ask for friends to take a pic of you.

 

[ZackieChan]

she wasnt, but Id still rather not cross that line.

I know I have to take more photos, unfortunately my friends aren't the photo taking kind and I hate the idea of telling them to take them for me. Ill figure it out. Thanks for advice

I'd say you need to get over both of those things.
At what point are students attenuated enough from their school that it's okay to date them?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Giving a woman a business card always feels like such a chump move.

:/

Piece of paper with your number. I honestly dont do the ask out at work thing but in the same notion if you have been talking this is pretty inoffensive unless you make a big deal about it.

Slide it across the teller desk

Guard tackles me

Sexy

 

[ZackieChan]

:/



Slide it across the teller desk

Guard tackles me

Sexy

NotTheGuyYouDate
The douche that makes a ton of threads.
(Today, 11:31 PM)

 

[Djostikk]

If anyone here is wondering, I'm doing fine now. I wished her Happy New Year, and the did the same. That's it, just being gentle here I'm not looking for any relationship right now, need to gather up my thoughts, but I was at a party few days ago and I had a lot of talks with one girl, we gave our numbers to each other just in case. She is a nice girl and seemed interested to talk with me.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

:/



Slide it across the teller desk

Guard tackles me

Sexy

I'm curious, how do you know you have good chemistry? You've spoken to her at length or are you going by your interactions when you're in the bank?

I hope you're not confusing politeness in doing ones job for good chemistry...

 

[Krauser Kat]

shiiiiiit.

Okay. The day my gf got back from being away for a week with her parents. She was on call to with the rape advocates people. She got called out so we couldnt hang out that day. I was a bit bummed, that i didnt get to see her the night before (NYE) or that day because she was now in the hospital all day. I eventually got to see her way later in the night and spend the night with her.

The night was mostly just cuddling and talking about what happened in the past week and her crying about what happened to the girl she helped. Everything is great other then im horny as fuck and we havent had sex in awhile.

She has to get her phone fixed and the only appointment at apple was when we were going to hang out but we have a date planned for the day after no biggie.

We ended up having a discussion about how the last 2 weeks were really weird, and holidays suck and how i will totally be there for her but our sex life kind of went to shit from all the stress the holidays/family put on her.

She started crying while thinking about sex. She has never felt that way before (we had amazing chemistry before the holidays) and dealing with the girls rape has maybe seriously fucked up her mojo for a bit.

we kind of talked about how she may not be able to meet my needs for awhile and that scares her and she doesnt want to feel obligated to have sex. I completely agree. I also feel like a giant ass for either giving up a girl i really like over something neither of us could control. Im just stuck. I want to help her but i dont want to get used, while not getting what i need from a healthy relationship.

Everything is just fucked and i havent talked to her since that conversation. so i have no idea where things are. We did agree the date was still a great idea, so thats a positive.

im just kind of bummed.

This turned into a bit of live journal.

 

[AlephAlpha]

Standard disclaimer: Cultural differences being what they are, I can't guarantee my advice will work for non-American countries. This goes doubly for countries whose official languages don't include English. Actually, why is this in English?

- I love your first pic. You look good in it and there's a subtle nod to general geekery. The second one isn't that bad. The shirt looks too big on you and the name badge, well, name badges just aren't sexy.

- You need more pics, preferably non-posed pics. Think candid pics of you displaying genuine emotion, pics of you hanging out with friends, pics of you having fun doing a hobby. Maybe a close-up face pic for your lead pic?

- Your favorites section is good, with the exception of food. "Everything" is such a cop out answer! You mentioned cooking earlier, mention something you can make that is absolutely delicious. Create a call to action!

- I don't know about starting your "you should message me if" with "you are smart...". In the US, that would result in a few angry messages from girls who think you think you were better than them.

- The typical friday night was a bit blah, until I got to the Salsa dancing part. Lead with that! The key of Online dating is setting yourself apart from everyone, and "movies or friends" is a very typical friday night for everyone.

- I'd also beef up your self-summary a little. It's brief to the point of being brusque. The rest of your profile has personality and heart, which makes it stick out even more.

Wow, thanks. That's a lot of good advice.
The profile is written in English because I live in a rather international city, and English is the least common denominator. Quite a lot of people from here write their profile in English, or at least it seems to me to be that way.

The "you are smart" thing is interesting. I never thought of it that way. Will definitely change that.

I personally dislike the "self summary" section. I would never ask someone to summarize themselves and never have I seen a profile where this was actually interesting. I will give it some more thought.

As for the other suggestions, I will put some work into it. It's good to know what can be improved.

You look good. I don't usually concern myself with the text so much, but you should have a close up photo and one of you doing something non-bro. Maybe cooking!

Thanks. Luckily I have a friend who also went through the struggles of online dating, so it is easy for me to convince him to take some photos of me doing some stuff.

Thanks a lot you two for taking the time. I really appreciate it.

 

[gaiages]

shiiiiiit.

Let's put it into perspective.

Given her job, her sex drive is understandably going to come and go, since she seems to be quite empathetic. And that is just her job, stress will play into this as well.

Are you okay with that? Are you okay with weeks long stretches of no sex? Can you deal with just masterbating through those periods?

If not (and that's no problem, most people wouldn't be), then it would be best for both of you to cut it off. Sexual compatibility is important to most relationships, and frequency is part of that.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I'm curious, how do you know you have good chemistry? You've spoken to her at length or are you going by your interactions when you're in the bank?

I hope you're not confusing politeness in doing ones job for good chemistry...

He can always go to another bank.

But in all seriousness. Nothing we can really judge here. If he thinks it is chenustry then may as well slip the number and then he can use it as a learning experience.

shiiiiiit.

Okay. The day my gf got back from being away for a week with her parents. She was on call to with the rape advocates people. She got called out so we couldnt hang out that day. I was a bit bummed, that i didnt get to see her the night before (NYE) or that day because she was now in the hospital all day. I eventually got to see her way later in the night and spend the night with her.

The night was mostly just cuddling and talking about what happened in the past week and her crying about what happened to the girl she helped. Everything is great other then im horny as fuck and we havent had sex in awhile.

She has to get her phone fixed and the only appointment at apple was when we were going to hang out but we have a date planned for the day after no biggie.

We ended up having a discussion about how the last 2 weeks were really weird, and holidays suck and how i will totally be there for her but our sex life kind of went to shit from all the stress the holidays/family put on her.

She started crying while thinking about sex. She has never felt that way before (we had amazing chemistry before the holidays) and dealing with the girls rape has maybe seriously fucked up her mojo for a bit.

we kind of talked about how she may not be able to meet my needs for awhile and that scares her and she doesnt want to feel obligated to have sex. I completely agree. I also feel like a giant ass for either giving up a girl i really like over something neither of us could control. Im just stuck. I want to help her but i dont want to get used, while not getting what i need from a healthy relationship.

Everything is just fucked and i havent talked to her since that conversation. so i have no idea where things are. We did agree the date was still a great idea, so thats a positive.

im just kind of bummed.

This turned into a bit of live journal.

You're early in a relationship. If you need to have sex in a constant manner this not going to workout. To clarify I think your needs are valid and early in a relationship if you are already having the sex talk it's just. . . . Eh. Bad vibes.

Also, not dating related but her job is taking some huge emotional tolls on her. That kind of work affects you to some point but it's going to be an issue if she internalizes everything that happens at work. I honestly dunno if you eventually learn to separate it from your emotions but as is I do not see that being healthy.

 

[Messofanego]

If anyone here is wondering, I'm doing fine now. I wished her Happy New Year, and the did the same. That's it, just being gentle here I'm not looking for any relationship right now, need to gather up my thoughts, but I was at a party few days ago and I had a lot of talks with one girl, we gave our numbers to each other just in case. She is a nice girl and seemed interested to talk with me.

Yay!

 

[amanset]

Male.

I guess you have to be on mobile to see the full profile

https://www.gotinder.com/@craftbeerpapi

One thing I would recommend doing is showing it to people of the same age range and sex that you are interested in. I changed my main picture based on this as it turns out that what I thought people were looking for wasn't actually what they were looking for.

 

[Krauser Kat]

Let's put it into perspective.

Given her job, her sex drive is understandably going to come and go, since she seems to be quite empathetic. And that is just her job, stress will play into this as well.

Are you okay with that? Are you okay with weeks long stretches of no sex? Can you deal with just masterbating through those periods?

If not (and that's no problem, most people wouldn't be), then it would be best for both of you to cut it off. Sexual compatibility is important to most relationships, and frequency is part of that.

She only volunteers with the rape people once a month. Im okay with long stretches of sex. The holidays and this just compound it. Its just sucks that all of this happened one after another.

Im going to give it a go and just be there for her until she feels better. Everything until this was amazing and talking with her is still fantastic.

 

[Tsukumo]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

I think asking out a girl at work is probably one of the most difficult things to pull. You have working against yourself time and logistics: anything direct and people around (in line or behind the desk) will suddenly be very interested to see how it ends and VERY LIKELY to mess everything up by butting in one way or another, anything indirect and time will restrict any type of chemistry you want to pull.
Since you flirted right there and then you should have asked her out on the spot. I actually think you know you should have asked her.
Going back right now just to ask her out will make any positive result impossible. Take two or three months and then make your moves if you really want to. The sooner you go back the higher the chances to fuck it up.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to ask out a teller in a bank? Pretty sure we got some good chemistry, but her co-workers are always around and I get the vibe it's frowned upon if I ask her out and she says yes and I don't wanna put her on the spot

So as a branch manager, I've seen this scenario play out more than a few times. Some things I've seen:

Adding a phone number with deposit slip
Asking to be let into their Safe Deposit Box (i.e. getting away from the teller line to do something)
The business card thing has been done a bunch

Spoiler

And one guy who shook her hand then went to my vestibule to rub one out

Honestly, most branches now are universal-- meaning she has a customer service desk to do platform-type functions (maintenance and the like). It's at least a bit easier to have a conversation there than over a teller line.

That said, almost all financial institutions are driven heavily by their customer service surveys-- it's very easy to mistake chemistry for trying to go the extra mile for a good survey score.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm curious, how do you know you have good chemistry? You've spoken to her at length or are you going by your interactions when you're in the bank?

I hope you're not confusing politeness in doing ones job for good chemistry...

Very possible. We flirted for like ten minutes (twice) and I see her often enough, just don't get the chance to talk to her. I should have asked her out that second time but I choked.

I think asking out a girl at work is probably one of the most difficult things to pull. You have working against yourself time and logistics: anything direct and people around (in line or behind the desk) will suddenly be very interested to see how it ends and VERY LIKELY to mess everything up by butting in one way or another, anything indirect and time will restrict any type of chemistry you want to pull.
Since you flirted right there and then you should have asked her out on the spot. I actually think you know you should have asked her.
Going back right now just to ask her out will make any positive result impossible. Take two or three months and then make your moves if you really want to. The sooner you go back the higher the chances to fuck it up.

Yeah, I know I should have asked then and there and am Kickin myself that I didn't. Maybe you're right, I'll just wait and see. I'll take some time and if I get the chance to speak with her again I'll just go for it.

So as a branch manager, I've seen this scenario play out more than a few times. Some things I've seen:

Adding a phone number with deposit slip
Asking to be let into their Safe Deposit Box (i.e. getting away from the teller line to do something)
The business card thing has been done a bunch

Spoiler

And one guy who shook her hand then went to my vestibule to rub one out

Honestly, most branches now are universal-- meaning she has a customer service desk to do platform-type functions (maintenance and the like). It's at least a bit easier to have a conversation there than over a teller line.

That said, almost all financial institutions are driven heavily by their customer service surveys-- it's very easy to mistake chemistry for trying to go the extra mile for a good survey score.

Fair point. It could have just been really good service, but I don't think you'd flirt with a guy for ten minutes while the line is building up and up just for a better score, but it's possible I misread the situation.

 

[TimeEffect]

I'd say you need to get over both of those things.
At what point are students attenuated enough from their school that it's okay to date them?

I know, I see teachers on dating apps with a lot of photos, but I know how nosey and gossipy kids are so it's something Ive wanted to remain in control about. I absolutely know that there are 16-17 year olds posing as 20+ year olds too

I mindlessly swipe photos sometimes without reading profiles, and sometimes they confess to being underage in their profile. That's not something I want to touch at all.

Anyways. I tried a new approach today that worked: Just told a girl I had no pick up line but that we were both looking for the same thing, and I asked her if she was willing to see my pics on imgur to see if she was interested. Surprisingly, she was open to this.

She says Im cute and now I need to find out how to push the conversation forward because I wasnt expecting her to say that.

She doesn't have much on her profile at all, so it's not like I could try anything with her info, but Im going to see if this line will work more often.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Fair point. It could have just been really good service, but I don't think you'd flirt with a guy for ten minutes while the line is building up and up just for a better score, but it's possible I misread the situation.

I don't want to sound like I was shooting down the idea. Considering the youngest female in my current branch is in her late 40s, I can safely assume you're not talking about my office

By no means is this an absolute, but does she know your name before you do your transaction? If you're not in the branch every day and she does, I'd feel a little more strongly about your prospects. Tellers have all kinds of tricks to make personal connections with their customers but it usually involves pulling up their information first.

As for the 10 minutes thing, certainly could be true. We used to get our surveys at 12:16 on Friday afternoons. Exactly at 12:16. My people would do whatever it took to get all 5's as the bank I was working for at the time paid significant bonuses to their entire staff for the results of those scores.

 

[Booser]

I think I just got deleted from Plenty of Fish and I've no idea why. Apparently my username and password don't exist anymore.

I thought it weird the other day when I messaged a girl I never talked to before and I got a "this user has blocked you". Now I can't get in at all.

Before anyone asks - no I never sent dickpics Weird. Maybe they thought I was someone else.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

How much do ex's that still have feelings for the person you're dating bother you if the person you're dating shows no interest in them.