She fooled you twice OP. Bush would be disappointed.
I do love her and I would like to help her get better but even after her apparent suicide attempt it still hasn't registered for her just how unhealthy some of her habits are. The therapist she was seeing before the suicide attempt later referred her to a substance abuse counseler. She is still drinking wine every night. She now takes hits of weed in the basement pretty much every night before bed. And I can't point any of this out to her because she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't think it's a big deal.
Instead of continuing to drink to excess (which she does often) and hitting the bowl, she should be exercising, changing her diet, getting a good nights sleep etc. If I say things like this she will basically roll her eyes. She can't hear me say things like this because all she hears from my mouth is I'M A PIECE OF SHIT. I'M A PIECE OF SHIT.
I do love her and I would like to help her get better but even after her apparent suicide attempt it still hasn't registered for her just how unhealthy some of her habits are. The therapist she was seeing before the suicide attempt later referred her to a substance abuse counseler. She is still drinking wine every night. She now takes hits of weed in the basement pretty much every night before bed. And I can't point any of this out to her because she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't think it's a big deal.
Instead of continuing to drink to excess (which she does often) and hitting the bowl, she should be exercising, changing her diet, getting a good nights sleep etc. If I say things like this she will basically roll her eyes. She can't hear me say things like this because all she hears from my mouth is I'M A PIECE OF SHIT. I'M A PIECE OF SHIT.
By that I mean, I need to feel more loved and wanted, and to desire more stability in the relationship. Is it wrong to ask someone this and hope that things can get better or should you just not be in such a relationship to begin with.
Long story short, I have been with my girl for about 3 years and our relationship has been very up and down. We have broken up probably a dozen times, mostly because she never knew what she wanted. She was in, she was out, she loved me, she hated me, she wanted space, she wanted me back. Surely a lot of this is my fault for even going back and allowing someone to treat me like a fucking yo-yo but it is what it is and its in the past. Now fast forward to year 3 and after her getting some therapy and an extended break up she tells me that she wants to get married, that's she ready to move the relationship forward. And I told her that I actually was not ready for that, that I need to see some stability long-term before we take that step. I offered to move in with her and work on building toward marriage, but she will not hear a word of it.
She wants to get married NOW and she has "nothing more to give" in terms of showing her love and affection for me. I suppose after writing this all out that there are a ton of red flags here and I do believe that I am representing things fairly accurately. I guess my question to you guys is this, is it not fair that I ask my SO to consider what my wants and needs are before marriage. If there are things lacking in our relationship, is it permissible for me to point those things out and ask her to work on them or am I being totally unfair to her and asking her to be someone she is not. Thanks
I do love her and I would like to help her get better but even after her apparent suicide attempt it still hasn't registered for her just how unhealthy some of her habits are. The therapist she was seeing before the suicide attempt later referred her to a substance abuse counseler. She is still drinking wine every night. She now takes hits of weed in the basement pretty much every night before bed. And I can't point any of this out to her because she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't think it's a big deal.
Instead of continuing to drink to excess (which she does often) and hitting the bowl, she should be exercising, changing her diet, getting a good nights sleep etc. If I say things like this she will basically roll her eyes. She can't hear me say things like this because all she hears from my mouth is I'M A PIECE OF SHIT. I'M A PIECE OF SHIT.
I do love her
You're going to be so damn happy you left when you start your next relationship. You're gunna look back and wonder how you managed to stick around as long as you have already. The memory is going to make you feel like an idiot (I know from experience).
Why in the world would you have unprotected sex with her?I know the advice here has been unanimous that I should run away from this girl but I'm still kind or reeling over how things have unfolded. Just last week we spent two days together, had sex multiple times (without protection) and I spent some time watching her daughter. Now I notice today that she has defriended me on FB and I believe she has blocked my calls because I still have some belongings at her house that I need but my calls just keep going right to voicemail. I'm pretty upset, I know the best thing for me would be to put everything behind me but it's fucked up that this woman can't even be an adult and talk to me
I know the advice here has been unanimous that I should run away from this girl but I'm still kind or reeling over how things have unfolded. Just last week we spent two days together, had sex multiple times (without protection) and I spent some time watching her daughter. Now I notice today that she has defriended me on FB and I believe she has blocked my calls because I still have some belongings at her house that I need but my calls just keep going right to voicemail. I'm pretty upset, I know the best thing for me would be to put everything behind me but it's fucked up that this woman can't even be an adult and talk to me
What is the latest update, OP?
I know the advice here has been unanimous that I should run away from this girl but I'm still kind or reeling over how things have unfolded. Just last week we spent two days together, had sex multiple times (without protection) and I spent some time watching her daughter. Now I notice today that she has defriended me on FB and I believe she has blocked my calls because I still have some belongings at her house that I need but my calls just keep going right to voicemail. I'm pretty upset, I know the best thing for me would be to put everything behind me but it's fucked up that this woman can't even be an adult and talk to me
I know the advice here has been unanimous that I should run away from this girl but I'm still kind or reeling over how things have unfolded. Just last week we spent two days together, had sex multiple times (without protection) and I spent some time watching her daughter. Now I notice today that she has defriended me on FB and I believe she has blocked my calls because I still have some belongings at her house that I need but my calls just keep going right to voicemail. I'm pretty upset, I know the best thing for me would be to put everything behind me but it's fucked up that this woman can't even be an adult and talk to me
What is wrong with you?last week we spent two days together, had sex multiple times (without protection)
You are pussy whipped, aren't you?
Please stay away from relationship threads in future if this kind of shit post is all you have to offer.
Why in the world would you have unprotected sex with her?
No, I'm not going to stay away and that was not all I had to offer. You responded just before I managed to edit my premature post that was sent accidently. He simply needs to leave the relationship for his own good. If he doesn't then all the signs indicate that he will be burned. He must not pursue further not investigate for answers (all signs that he was pussy whipped). You and I don't want that for him nor anyone and what you said is practically the same as I.
Why in the world would you have unprotected sex with her?
We have been together for 3 years and we never used any form of birth control. I always pulled out and never had a problem but more recently I have finished in her. Maybe I am just as crazy as she is.
you folks deserve each other smh
No, what we wrote was not the same thing. And even if you had more to offer, that first line was/is totally uncalled for. And as that was all you posted initially, my response was valid.
But whatever man, you be you I'll be me.
I feel like I did honestly try my best in this relationship and there was not much more that I could give. I asked a person to meet me in the middle and she could not even do that. You are correct that I have not made the best decisions in this relationship but it's also kind of hard to describe the complex mix of emotions you feel when you have been with someone for three years of your life and you dearly love their child. I wish I could always stay rational and make the best, most level-headed decisions but sometimes my emotions and the desire to be loved gets in the way. Of course none of what I am feeling is especially unique, people all over the world experience the same emotions. You are right that I have a lot to learn.
I feel like I did honestly try my best in this relationship and there was not much more that I could give. I asked a person to meet me in the middle and she could not even do that. You are correct that I have not made the best decisions in this relationship but it's also kind of hard to describe the complex mix of emotions you feel when you have been with someone for three years of your life and you dearly love their child. I wish I could always stay rational and make the best, most level-headed decisions but sometimes my emotions and the desire to be loved gets in the way. Of course none of what I am feeling is especially unique, people all over the world experience the same emotions. You are right that I have a lot to learn.
So she has defriended you on Facebook, and isn't taking your calls. What's your next move? What's your plan? In some ways it almost sounds like you're resigning yourself to the idea of trying to make up with her again?