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Wow, being short instantly kills a man's chances in online dating

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I'm actually kinda surprised that people are saying they are 5'6 and that people think they are short. 5'5 and under I think it the short measure, and yes it does suck when people point it out for no reason. You learn to roll with it or spin it into a joke to make you come out on top so to speak, but I will say nothing is worse to hear about how great you are but "he's short" lol.
 
Your Entertainer said:
Good posts by some of the people above. Hats off to besada for making some positive posts. I think it would be a good idea to start another thread about height in general in society and some ways for positive change. This one is FUBAR.



I agree - nobody is entitled to dating, and preferences exist in dating. Is it shallow? Yes - by its very definition. But there's nothing necessarily wrong with that. Implicit biases, in fact, are present in many interactions. Part of advancing is recognizing these implicit biases and examining them. Yes, that includes men judging women for a variety of reasons. But let's not pretend that height is on equal footing with all other standards (I'm not saying it's the be-all-end-all either). Nobody is forcing someone to like shorter men. I think what would be productive, however, is for us as a society to examine more closely why height in men (and women) is viewed the way it is, and what advantages or disadvantages in can possibly confer. Why did height as a trait get to be that way? Is that okay? What can be done about? How do we go about changing that? It's going to be a long road, but it has to start somewhere.

What's not productive, is lambasting men in general for having had standards, or repeatedly pointing out that they exist when it has been hammered into the ground that they do. Especially in a thread about dating and male height.



Which is exactly what you have done to this very thread. Good god.



Hats off to you for bitterness, name-calling, refusal to engage in meaningful discussion and just terrible all-around posting. From your very first post, you came in with a terrible attitude and blatantly attempted to change the subject to "well women are judged too!". When it was pointed out to you that this was about male height, and how height is different and to instead suggest more constructive discussions, you continued on. Eventually, you stated that "You are, but I don't think I'll be able to get you to see how you are" - aka you have no argument. LOL. Then continued on with the same points you had been making before. Now you're just name-calling and mentioning me by name without actually directly responding to my posts any more. I don't see how what you're doing isn't a moddable offense by the TOS at this point.



You're absolutely ridiculous, no two ways about it, if you don't see the difference between height and other traits. The degree by which it's used to judge partners (and people in general) is definitely worthy of attention and discussion. Simply equating it as a preference on equal footing to all others is extremely disingenuous, period. To further deny that it has social implications is beyond ridiculous. And for the last time, nobody is saying that women have to like short men, or that short men are doomed. The whole thread was changed to somehow be an affront on women by some completely off-base posters and has never gotten back on track. It has been stated, multiple times, that women have unfair beauty standards too, yet you have somehow spun it into "men want to be accepted despite their unfair standards".

Done with this garbage thread.
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Agree with all of this.
 
Subpar Spatula said:
Yes. If you think you should be accepted but have your own standards then your argument is stupid. This doesn't mean the social perpetuation argument is stupid but being hypocritical is.
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We've been through this. I'm not a hypocrite.

You asked if I would date people with disabilities. I told you my last girlfriend was wheelchair-bound. You moved the goalposts to skin burns and said you'd concede if I said it wasn't a problem. I said that it wouldn't be, and I meant it. My dating a wheelchair-bound girl would serve as proof of sincerity to anyone not as pigheaded as you.

And even now, you haven't conceded though you said you would. You're still here calling me a hypocrite even though my actions prove I'm not. Seriously, change your name to Subpar Human and fuck off, you superficial piece of shit.
 
I'm 5-9/10 but will soon lose 1-1.5 inches of my height through hair loss.

Bald, shorter, big nose, small head. R.I.P dating forever.
 
One thing that's kinda interesting that I've read in this thread- the reasoning that it's okay for women to have a preference for taller men because they are constantly being judged by impossibly high standards of beauty. It seems strange to complain about the impossibly high standards of beauty on the one hand and yet use it as a justification for filtering out shorter men. I understand that not everyone feels this way, but I saw it a few times earlier in the thread and it really stood out.

It's important to understand (for both sides) that you can acknowledge the fact that there's an issue with society without whining about it. However, I think trying to disregard the experiences of an entire group is dismissive and counterproductive to any real conversation about the issue. It's true that no matter what, there will still likely be a height bias in women when choosing a male mate. However, I think it's important to try to figure out more about the why's (Why is this the case?) and the how's (How can shorter men compensate?).

In addition, just like Asian males, shorter men face a relatively higher rate of rejection through no fault of their own. Not only are they rejected, they often can't even get their foot in the door. It's hard to compensate for lack of height with things such as a high paying job if you can't even get to the dating phase to bring it up. This is highly damaging to the psyche and can often lead to depression and, in extreme cases, suicide. That's why empathy is important.

For shorter guys, I agree with those that said to have confidence in yourself and brush off any rejection. However, it's also important for other people to understand that it's a real issue and sometimes people need to vent about it and not be told that they should just suck it up or man up.

I thought this article was really interesting and had some similarities with this thread:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/09/07/why-college-educated-women-can-t-find-love.html
In demographics where one gender is disproportionately represented (e.g. college graduates or those using online dating) the rarer gender becomes much pickier. I'd recommend reading the entire article, but a few choice quotes:
These men have the problem—or, really, the luxury—of the “paradox of choice.” It’s harder to commit to just one lady because they believe another woman will always be a little better.

“If they had a girlfriend they liked, but someone else came along who was a little smarter or prettier, a little more this or that, it was easier for them to call it quits because they had other options,” Birger explains.
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This contributes to why it's hard for shorter men to compete in a population dominated by an overabundance of men. Those that said avoid online dating if you're short may be right.
For example, even in 2015, women are still often expected to “play hard to get” and “let men take the lead.” Women who don’t demurely wait to be fawned over are often branded as “desperate” or “pathetic.”

<snip>

“It’s decisive women who, maybe, odds-wise are more likely to get the guy,” Birger tells me. That’s because “guys don’t like to be rejected. They would rather not take their chance than put themselves out there and get rejected.”
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This contributes to the problems short and Asian men face. Constant rejection makes many people less likely to continue trying. Negative feedback loop.
“I had this initial reaction of exasperation,” he said. “I just know all these women who have so much going for them and their self-confidence has been shot by being in cities, like New York City. It’s terrible women are making these strides, and this minority of men who are college-educated are benefitting from something over which they have no control.”
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Sorta similar to shorter males although some obvious differences.

However, all is not lost short men! If you go by the article, it seems like you can increase your chances of success by putting yourself in a position where there are a lot of women and not that many men. Just get a college degree and move to...
Fort Lauderdale has 71 percent more female college grads than male between ages 22-29, followed by Providence, which has 60 percent more.
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Sorry for the essay. I find dating psychology fascinating, if not depressing.
 
soleil said:
We've been through this. I'm not a hypocrite.

You asked if I would date people with disabilities. I told you my last girlfriend was wheelchair-bound. You moved the goalposts to skin burns and said you'd concede if I said it wasn't a problem. I said that it wouldn't be, and I meant it. My dating a wheelchair-bound girl would serve as proof of sincerity to anyone not as pigheaded as you.

And even now, you haven't conceded though you said you would. You're still here calling me a hypocrite even though my actions prove I'm not. Seriously, change your name to Subpar Human and fuck off, you superficial piece of shit.
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Yes. I did concede. I'm just hoping you're consistent with your logic and have zero standards. If you have zero then you have nothing to worry about because my argument isn't about you.
 
soleil said:
On an individual level, yes. But when society is perpetuating it, it stacks the field against you, and people's tastes are way less random than it otherwise would be.

I am not saying short guys are entitled to more dates. No one should be forced to date someone they don't want to date. But society is stacking the deck againt short guys through Hollywood's portrayal of short guys, marketing ads' portrayal of short guys, etc.
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I love this notion that it's "all Hollywood's fault." As if Hollywood is some evil entity that conspires to make short guys miserable. News flash: Hollywood only tries to give people what they want to see. Hollywood mostly casts tall, attractive men because that's what most women want to see, not the other way around.

People always go on about how "western standards of beauty" are molded by Hollywood and people are brainwashed by the media. However, there have been studies that show babies who are only a few weeks old already have preferences for certain physical looks over others, and it pretty well lines up with what most people consider attractive. It's more biological than anything else.

Besides, how is Hollywood stacking the deck against short guys? Is Hollywood painting people like Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr as weak, undesirable men who cannot get a woman to save their lives? No, quite the opposite in fact. The thought that there is this giant media conspiracy by faceless men in suits to brainwash women into hating short men is laughable at best.

soleil said:
We've been through this. I'm not a hypocrite.

You asked if I would date people with disabilities. I told you my last girlfriend was wheelchair-bound. You moved the goalposts to skin burns and said you'd concede if I said it wasn't a problem. I said that it wouldn't be, and I meant it. My dating a wheelchair-bound girl would serve as proof of sincerity to anyone not as pigheaded as you.

And even now, you haven't conceded though you said you would. You're still here calling me a hypocrite even though my actions prove I'm not. Seriously, change your name to Subpar Human and fuck off, you superficial piece of shit.
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The fact that you're trying to use a disabled girl to show your moral superiority is so disturbing to me. The fact that you think everyone else should aspire to your own standards when it comes to dating shows me you're pretty clueless.
 
Teknoman said:
I'm actually kinda surprised that people are saying they are 5'6 and that people think they are short. 5'5 and under I think it the short measure, and yes it does suck when people point it out for no reason. You learn to roll with it or spin it into a joke to make you come out on top so to speak, but I will say nothing is worse to hear about how great you are but "he's short" lol.
Click to expand...

5'6 is damn short. I'd say anything under 6'0 is short.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
5'6 is damn short. I'd say anything under 6'0 is short.
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I think there's a difference between short and just being below average height. To me, genuinely short, as someone else pointed out, might be something like 5'5 or less. I'm around 5'7 and I don't feel short. I'm not craning my neck to look up at people I talk to, while I have some much taller friends, generally the people I hang out with or strangers I see walking around the mall look to be within a few inches of my own height in either direction. This is just speaking from personal experience of course, I know anecdotal evidence has no ground
 
This last page..damn..

giphy.gif
 
bananafactory said:
I think there's a difference between short and just being below average height. To me, genuinely short, as someone else pointed out, might be something like 5'5 or less. I'm around 5'7 and I don't feel short. I'm not craning my neck to look up at people I talk to, while I have some much taller friends, generally the people I hang out with or strangers I see walking around the mall look to be within a few inches of my own height in either direction. This is just speaking from personal experience of course, I know anecdotal evidence has no ground
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The best way to define short would just be to look at the math. Height generally follows a normal distribution. If you are within one standard deviation of the mean height you're average basically. This is based on geography obviously but 5'
7 should be within one deviation of 5'8 so you would basically be average.

68% of people will fall within one deviation of the mean. 95% will fall within 2. If you are more than one deviation away rrom the average its lretty fair to consider yourself tall or short. Basically #ThankYouBasedMath.
 
Gotdatmoney said:
The best way to define short would just be to look at the math. Height generally follows a normal distribution. If you are within one standard deviation of the mean height you're average basically. This is based on geography obviously but 5'
7 should be within one deviation of 5'8 so you would basically be average.

68% of people will fall within one deviation of the mean. 95% will fall within 2. If you are more than one deviation away rrom the average its lretty fair to consider yourself tall or short. Basically #ThankYouBasedMath.
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And that's the problem with people like the poster a couple posts above. Some people think people that are below 6 feet are short. I'm 6 feet but I shouldn't feel short ignore I were an inch shorter. It's akin to thinking that the only women who aren't fat are those that have the perfect level of body fat so that they are fairly thin but enough fat in their breasts and ass to be stacked.
 
Everyone has some kind of physical standards for sexual attraction, and no one has a right to be deemed sexually desirable by anyone else.

That is absolutely not to say that such standards are harmless or beyond criticism, just that there is almost always far more to be gained from going after the cultural mechanisms that perpetuate and reinforce these standards than there is from going after the people who hold them.
 
Father_Brain said:
Everyone has some kind of physical standards for sexual attraction, and no one has a right to be deemed sexually desirable by anyone else.

That is absolutely not to say that such standards are harmless or beyond criticism, just that there is almost always far more to be gained from going after the cultural mechanisms that perpetuate and reinforce these standards than there is from going after the people who hold them.
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True, although I think people do have an obligation to challenge their own silly standards/preferences to some extent. Or at least soften them to be less dogmatic, really for their own benefit than society's. Cutting your self off from 50% of the dating pool for a requirement is a silly thing really.

You might find you can't get over height, breast size, skin colour or whatever, but it is worth questioning is it worth missing out on someone who could be an amazing life partner over X, whatever X is.
 
M_Night said:
I'm 5-9/10 but will soon lose 1-1.5 inches of my height through hair loss.

Bald, shorter, big nose, small head. R.I.P dating forever.
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It's going to suck to be bald. My hairline has been receeding over the past few years (I'm only 22), I know some people keep a decent hairline for a very long time, while others go bald really fast. Hope I have luck there.
It's simply not socially acceptable to get a hair transplant or a rhinoplasty when you're not a rich person. Must get a car or whatever instead.
 
Two Words said:
The movies don't make them look short and that chart is simply selecting the shorter actors.
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These two things are true, but it still seems like the spread of actors is, at worst, completely normal for the population, which is interesting given that male actors are, on balance, selected at least in part for their "looks."

But their height doesn't seem to factor into that, maybe in part because it's disguised by how they are shot.
 
Most of those shorter famous actors aren't PORTRAYED as short, even if they are. Camera Angles are used, platform shoes, perspective tricks, to make them seem taller than they are. It's like saying how there aren't unrealistic beauty standards in the media by showing an unflattering pre-photoshop pic of a famous actress' shoot. Even though that's what they really look like, it's not what's portrayed and sold to you.
putting_tom_cruises_height_in_perspective_02.jpg
 
Being a high status individual will certainly make up for height issues. Jockeys get all the girls. Or rich guys. So you know what you have to do.
 
soleil said:
We've been through this. I'm not a hypocrite.

You asked if I would date people with disabilities. I told you my last girlfriend was wheelchair-bound. You moved the goalposts to skin burns and said you'd concede if I said it wasn't a problem. I said that it wouldn't be, and I meant it. My dating a wheelchair-bound girl would serve as proof of sincerity to anyone not as pigheaded as you.

And even now, you haven't conceded though you said you would. You're still here calling me a hypocrite even though my actions prove I'm not. Seriously, change your name to Subpar Human and fuck off, you superficial piece of shit.
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Jesus, chill out.
 
SolidusDave said:
Well duh
We are talking physical/character traits.
Enough money even gets 90 year olds some hot young model obviously ;)
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:D Its an option all that time not spent on going on dates can be used to earn...

BTW my wife is taller than me, its only an inch though, and I'm not rich YET... :D
 
I am really surprised this thread is still going.

Being short sucks in many different facets. Career, dating, pretty much everything. We (short guys) tend to get looked over for partners, raises, promotions... It genuinely affects our lives.

And I have to have my husband put the dishes away in the top shelf :( It's easier having him do it then dragging the stepstool over LOL

Miles Quaritch said:
Statham is 5'9?

Thought for sure he was 6' plus.
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That's the point....
 
SmokeMaxX said:
In addition, just like Asian males, shorter men face a relatively higher rate of rejection through no fault of their own. Not only are they rejected, they often can't even get their foot in the door. It's hard to compensate for lack of height with things such as a high paying job if you can't even get to the dating phase to bring it up. This is highly damaging to the psyche and can often lead to depression and, in extreme cases, suicide. That's why empathy is important.

This contributes to the problems short and Asian men face. Constant rejection makes many people less likely to continue trying. Negative feedback loop.
Click to expand...

Probably a huge problem for Asian or Hispanic men who live in a predominantly (much) taller homogenous society where they don't have access to a pool of women of their race/culture. I guess they wouldn't even bother trying at some point.

Would be tragic if they thought online dating was an option and women of their race/culture all put a 6-foot filter anywayz heh.

L6bNdfO.gif
 
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