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What is your morning ritual?

Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
So what's the first thing/things you do in the first 10 minutes you get out of bed?
I immidiately light a cigarette, smoke it and then proceed to take a leak and other things in the bathroom.
How bout you?
 
jufonuk

jufonuk

not tag worthy
Wake up.
Feel tired try to sleep more.
cannot. Get up get my sons breakfast ready. Get my daughters clothes.
 
triplestation

triplestation

Member
oh i know AMERICAN PSYCHO

HAHA

FUNNY

i make coffee and eat bread

walk out and it's like

ilhDzhS.gif


not a morning person but i mean fuck
 
Scopa

Scopa

The Tribe Has Spoken
- Wake up
- Piss
- Make coffee
- Drink coffee & catch up on GAF notifications
- Make another coffee
- Drink 2nd coffee & smoke 2-3 cigarettes
- Take a shit & continue reading GAF
- Have a wank (optional)
- Do some work
- Smoke another cigarette
- Shower

That’s a bit more than 10 minutes, but you get the drift.
 
Sub_Level

Sub_Level

wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Dump
Shower
Comb Hair
Deodorant
Brush Teeth

I like coffee and cigarettes but I do not need them to wake up. I prefer coffee in the afternoon and a cig occasionally with a beer.
 
haxan7

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
Workdays:
  1. Prepare breakfast (microwaved oatmeal, fruit, coffee, water)
  2. Eat breakfast while watching a 20-30 minute show.
  3. Shower, brush teeth.
  4. Go to work.
No deviation is allowed from these procedures.

Days off are more relaxed and drawn out but generally consist of the above with some videogames thrown in.
 
Last edited:
Humdinger

Humdinger

Member
I try to set my intention for the day and then think of 3 things I'm grateful for. I used to do it consistently, but I've been slacking off lately.
 
Mista

Mista

Banned
1- Get off bed
2- make coffee
3- wash my face till the machine is done
4- sit in the toilet
5- Browse GAF while taking a dump and sipping my coffee
6- finish my coffee
7- shower, brush and get ready for work
 
Last edited:
Scopa

Scopa

The Tribe Has Spoken
Mista said:
1- Get off bed
2- make coffee
3- wash my face till the machine is done
4- sit in the toilet
5- Browse GAF while taking a dump and sipping my coffee
6- finish my coffee
7- shower, brush and get ready for work
Click to expand...
You coffee on the toilet?
 
Birdo

Birdo

Banned
1. Awaken.
2. Think about my life for an hour.
3. Get out of bed.
4. Evacuate bladder.
5. Brush teeth and shower.
6. Breakfast.
7. Job search.
8. Spend the rest of the day thinking about what I'll do the next day.
 
MastAndo

MastAndo

Gold Member
  1. Wake up to alarm
  2. Hit snooze every 10 minutes for about a half an hour
  3. Quickly check emails to see if there are any IT disasters happening at work that need immediate attention
  4. Shower, brush teeth and undergo general prep to appear presentable
  5. Usually throw a few darts despite already being late for work - I can't explain this one, but since I started playing, I feel better starting my day knowing my throw is intact
  6. Pet cat a few times
  7. Drive to the train station, commute to the city
  8. Stop for coffee and a banana before strolling into work about an hour late
Yeah, I'm not so good at the morning thing...
 
sol_bad

sol_bad

Member
Stop my 3 morning alarms.
Walk to the shower like a zombie.
Shower.
Dress.
Sit on internet for 10 minutes.
Brush Teeth.
Travel to work.
Make coffee at work.
 
ThatStupidLion

ThatStupidLion

Member
Current mornings are one of these:

A. Get woken up by infant son at 6am

Or

B. Get woken up by dog rubbing his head on my hand if its overhanging the edge of bed or staring at me whimpering resting his head on edge of bed at 630am.

Followed by:

Wake up 2yr old son at 7am.
Struggle to get a minute to eat/pee/change
Drive to work, daycare, and doggy daycare(sometimes) at 8am.
 
njean777

njean777

Member
Pee
let the dog out
poop
then get ready for CrossFit and pack my bag for work after.

My dog has an annoying habit that if I don't let her out before I poo, she will pee or poo in the house while I am in the bathroom. That is why I break them up lol
 
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haxan7

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
I’m jealous of all these people who seem to poop like clockwork as soon as they wake up. Must be nice going to work knowing your asshole is gonna be fresh and clean all day.

My dumps are often spread out at different times, or multiple gargantuan dumps in one day followed a day or two to rebuild.
 
Scopa

Scopa

The Tribe Has Spoken
haxan7 said:
I’m jealous of all these people who seem to poop like clockwork as soon as they wake up. Must be nice going to work knowing your asshole is gonna be fresh and clean all day.

My dumps are often spread out at different times, or multiple gargantuan dumps in one day followed a day or two to rebuild.
Click to expand...
Training and consistency.

And hatred of shitting in public toilets.
 
rykomatsu

rykomatsu

Member
Weekdays:
  • Let dogs out
  • Use bathroom
  • Brush teeth
  • Style hair
  • Put on clothes
  • Feed dogs
  • Go to work
Weekends :
  • Wake up
  • Use bathroom
  • Brush teeth
  • Put on clothes
  • Go workout
 
V

Vicetrailia

Member
Brush teeth, shower, grab my kurig, get ready to go. I sleep about 4 hours a day so I get up at the very last minute.
 
Last edited:
Handel

Handel

Member



For real though, it's more go get/drink water, then piss/shit, then usually shower followed by something light to eat to get started up. Music, food and shower are all needed to fully wake up.
 
Scopa

Scopa

The Tribe Has Spoken
Mista said:
What's weird in that? I spend an hour every morning in the toilet. It's not like I'm pooping for one hour straight
Click to expand...
Can you walk after? My legs would be dead.

I once lived in a place with side-by-side toilets (with a wall in between, relax) and me and a mate had a Mario Kart DS session whilst dual shitting. I couldn’t walk after.

Nowadays, I just drop my business, have a wank and then exit the scene. Much better on the legs.

Coffee table next to the toilet (with actual coffee!) is weird. Not gonna lie. Sounds comfortable, though.

I don’t judge. I have my weirds too.
 
Mista

Mista

Banned
Scopa said:
Can you walk after? My legs would be dead.

I once lived in a place with side-by-side toilets (with a wall in between, relax) and me and a mate had a Mario Kart DS session whilst dual shitting. I couldn’t walk after.

Nowadays, I just drop my business, have a wank and then exit the scene. Much better on the legs.

Coffee table next to the toilet (with actual coffee!) is weird. Not gonna lie. Sounds comfortable, though.

I don’t judge. I have my weirds too.
Click to expand...
Yes, I can walk just fine😂It is indeed comfortable because 1- I am fixing my mood in complete silence and 2- I gradually start waking up my brain
 
S

SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
"Fuck I didn't die in my sleep"
"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?"
dats it
 
Stilton Disco

Stilton Disco

Member
Wake up with a jolt of agony as I regain consciousness, quickly remembering who and where I am.

Stretch and flex as pain gives way to sensation and a lingering dull ache all over.

Feed the rabbit that has realised I am awake and hopped onto the bed for attention and parsley.

Allow wife to get past me to use the toilet while I make the bed. Check phone while I wait for her to let me know she's finished

Go to bathroom.

Have a wee.

Use deodorant in winter, shower in summer.

Brush teeth.

Fix hair.

Go to kitchen, eat breakfast.

Talk to wife.

Brush rabbit, clean out his bedding, feed him his full breakfast, change his water.

Wash hands and face.

Floss, use mouthwash.

Go to work or whatever Ive got planned on weekends.
 
Hinedorf

Hinedorf

Banned
Wake up hungover and tired yet somehow physically wake myself up before my alarm goes off with the subtle thoughts of why I'm alive and why I hate everything that is morning.

Silently ninja into the bathroom to take 2-3 rabbit like shits as for some reason I can't take one so it's a delicate dance of poop....think I'm done, ready to brush my tee.....here comes number two.....and so on.

By about the second or third completion I'm ready to start my morning with a spark of creativity

tenor.gif


Bush the teeth

Now less hateful of the world, sing and dance a few shower jigs on my way to cleanliness (Cruel Cruel World is a regular)

Dry off as my 3 cats furiously contend for the toilet seat so that I may scratch their chin while I dry off

Get dressed as I still do my best to avoid any human contact at the earliest possibility as my wife wakes up the happiest person in the world and me completely the opposite her happiness grates on my evil-morning-loathing

Drive to work with my morning Monster drink as I tell my coworkers if it wasn't for all that sugar I wouldn't be so sweet to them.
 
Anki

Anki

Banned
- Wake up and turn off the alarm
- Do some yoga exercises (surya namaskar)
- Go in to toilet (brush teeth and shower)
- Make delicious smoothie with frozen mix berries, banana, protein and peanut butter.
- Drive to work.
 
Makariel

Makariel

Member
-switch off the alarm and plug in phone to charge
-piss
-brush teeth
-shower (about this time is when the "waking up" actually starts)
-shave (every other day)
-espresso (and breakfast, unless I'm on intermittent fasting, then just an espresso; by now I can remember my first and last name)
-talk with wife (not recommended to talk to me before coffee)
-grab phone and head to work
 
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