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People who cut themselves

Have you ever met people who cut themselves? I have, and I've never understood this.
Why the hell do people do it? Apparently it's a cry for help or some sort of a coping mechanism.
I had a girlfriend who cut herself. And I asked her, why the hell do you do it? She said her parents are mean to her and don't give her enough attention so she cuts her self. What the hell?
I've also knew a few friends who cut themselves. One guy did it to feel he's alive. Really? Really?
I personally think that people who cut themselves re just seeking attention. And instead, they should be seeking psyciatric help.
The most interesting thing is, all of these people who used to cut themself or still do that I knew, were all lazy ass people without a job. Just an observation.
What do you think about people who cut themself? Is this just attention seeking or a mental illness?
 
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Northeastmonk

Gold Member
Idk if i have a ton to say about it. but I can at least share my experience with it. I dated a girl when I was 17/18. She was a year younger. One day she was sitting on my bed with a sweater on. I start to hold her hand and I see a mark. I then proceed to raise her sleeve because I could tell there wasn't just 1 mark. It was an entire arm and her other arm too. I wondered to myself "wtf do I do?". Of course I asked her if she needed some real help. She was sent to an in-patient facility for a week. That film "Girl Interrupted" always popped into my head when I think back on it. She came out doing great, clear headed, and she had pen pals from being in the hospital. I have no idea to be honest. I think people who do this want some sort of attention, but you obviously can't provide it in a healthy way. In my opinion they want answers that they can't find and they take it out on themselves. It hasn't come up since high school.

I have been to my fare share of counseling, but it was to make myself better. I can't tell someone to "snap the hell out of it" or "stop being depressed"
 
C

Contica

Unconfirmed Member
Do you honestly think that just by asking someone who injures themselves "why do you do it?" you're gonna get a satisying answer to an incredibly complex issue the sufferers themselves might not be able to fully word an answer to?

Try to imagine what kind of a place you'd have tobe in to put a knife to your skin.

When you're so far down the hole you feel a need to inflict physical pain on yourself to feel something... It's hard to explain. People go into years of therapy to solve these issues. Some people do it for attention, sure, but you can never know who deos and who doesn’t.

Sorry of I'm harsh, but this stuff has popped up in my life so much that I feel strongly about it.

What I can definitely reassure you about though, is that someone with many, deep cuts on their bodies do not do it for attention. The vast majority of self injurers cover up in shame, and it takes an incredible amount of effort just to walk outside with a short sleeved shirt on.

Doesn't the brain release dopamine as a result of this? So I imagine the rush of dopamine is the reason they keep on doing it.

Yes and no. If you're severely depressed it can give you a high, which in a sense explains the "to feel alive" statement. It's not entierly dissimilar to drug abuse.
 
Do you honestly think that just by asking someone who injures themselves "why do you do it?" you're gonna get a satisying answer to an incredibly complex issue the sufferers themselves might not be able to fully word an answer to?

Try to imagine what kind of a place you'd have tobe in to put a knife to your skin.

When you're so far down the hole you feel a need to inflict physical pain on yourself to feel something... It's hard to explain. People go into years of therapy to solve these issues. Some people do it for attention, sure, but you can never know who deos and who doesn’t.

Sorry of I'm harsh, but this stuff has popped up in my life so much that I feel strongly about it.

What I can definitely reassure you about though, is that someone with many, deep cuts on their bodies do not do it for attention. The vast majority of self injurers cover up in shame, and it takes an incredible amount of effort just to walk outside with a short sleeved shirt on.
If someone who's raped or was raped in his childhood cuts himself/herself, I understand and don't blame them for it. It's extremely f***ed up and requires some serious psychiatric attention and help.
But the girlfriend I mention in the OP, she's very rich and pretty much can have anything she wants in life. Her parents are loaded. And I've met her parents, they're not some strict people, they seem pretty normal. I've met her sister, pretty ok girl. I see no reason for her to cut herself. That's why I think it's attention seeking. In her case.
 

MaestroMike

Gold Member
I think there was a YouTube video of a parrot who plucked it's own feathers off while it was stuck in a cage all day and neglected.



Ppl who cut themselves r probably undernourished and r going nuts not getting vital nutrients
 
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Contica

Unconfirmed Member
If someone who's raped or was raped in his childhood cuts himself/herself, I understand and don't blame them for it. It's extremely f***ed up and requires some serious psychiatric attention and help.
But the girlfriend I mention in the OP, she's very rich and pretty much can have anything she wants in life. Her parents are loaded. And I've met her parents, they're not some strict people, they seem pretty normal. I've met her sister, pretty ok girl. I see no reason for her to cut herself. That's why I think it's attention seeking. In her case.

Depression doesn't require bad circumstances.
 
S

SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
Yeah, goth/emo chicks.
Doesn't the brain release dopamine as a result of this? So I imagine the rush of dopamine is the reason they keep on doing it.
Ever gotten a tattoo? It feels good but that isn't why people cut themselves.
 
If someone who's raped or was raped in his childhood cuts himself/herself, I understand and don't blame them for it. It's extremely f***ed up and requires some serious psychiatric attention and help.
But the girlfriend I mention in the OP, she's very rich and pretty much can have anything she wants in life. Her parents are loaded. And I've met her parents, they're not some strict people, they seem pretty normal. I've met her sister, pretty ok girl. I see no reason for her to cut herself. That's why I think it's attention seeking. In her case.

YOU see no reason for her cutting herself, but obviously you don't see everything that is going on in her life.
 
One of my kids did it for a little while. We never really got a full "I did this because X, Y, and Z." kind of answer, but generally it seemed like it was just due to stress and not being able to communicate freely/openly. I think there was also some peer pressure shit with their shit group of friends, but I never got a definite answer to it. Thankfully it passed pretty quickly.

I vaguely remember scratching myself (to the point of a cut) when I was a teenager (a million years ago) just to kind of feel what it felt like, and be edgy and hardcore and whatever.. it's like you're giving yourself a tattoo, but it heals.
 

TindalosPup

Member

I suggest following the link to learn more.

Here are some descriptions of what self-harm allows people to do:

  • Turn emotional pain into physical pain
  • Express hard to describe emotions
  • Regain control
  • Reduce overwhelming emotions
  • Turn feelings into something physical
  • Feel something instead of being numb
  • Distract themselves from traumatic memories
  • Punish themselves

I had stopped over a decade ago because I promised a friend I wouldn't, but picked it back up when my life imploded. This list reflects my reasons for it. I'm not really comfortable telling others, I usually only speak of it when the person I'm talking to is struggling themselves. I've been made fun of and put down for it, which never helps in that kind of situation. Someone I care deeply for started cutting in the last year, now I have an idea of how my friend felt, but I couldn't stop them, and knowing they did/do only contributes to my own problem

I've been snapping rubber bands on my wrist to try to stop myself from it and I've been going to therapy. Though I honestly think it's something I'll never be able to run from and I'll always have the scars to remind me of it
 

DeafTourette

Perpetually Offended
If someone who's raped or was raped in his childhood cuts himself/herself, I understand and don't blame them for it. It's extremely f***ed up and requires some serious psychiatric attention and help.
But the girlfriend I mention in the OP, she's very rich and pretty much can have anything she wants in life. Her parents are loaded. And I've met her parents, they're not some strict people, they seem pretty normal. I've met her sister, pretty ok girl. I see no reason for her to cut herself. That's why I think it's attention seeking. In her case.

You realize that depression doesn't just happen to people who are in HORRIBLE circumstances, yes? Depression can affect anyone, regardless of whether they're rich or poor, great family or abusive family, experienced trauma (of someone else's definition) or not. I've been suffering from depression, anxiety, and issues with self-confidence since I was a pre-teen. And I had a great childhood! It had nothing to do with my family or anything like that... it's what's inside us... But anyway...
 
I've been snapping rubber bands on my wrist to try to stop myself from it and I've been going to therapy. Though I honestly think it's something I'll never be able to run from and I'll always have the scars to remind me of it
So it's kinda like drugs? You stop using but the temptation is always there?
 
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I have enough weird quirks about myself that i can appreciate that theres plenty about other peoples bodies and minds that i may not understand and thats just peachy with me.

Ive known a few girls who have cut. I feel like its so prevalent that everyone has met someone in their life.

Theres lots of different reasons though that people might do it.

I have a habit of picking/cutting my fingernails and the skin around them really low/till it bleeds and i think subconciously its just a comfort/distraction/anxiety thing. The feelings, typically minor dull discomfort/pain, it gives me during and after is what i imagine part of the reason other get during the feeling of going further and cutting. The satisfaction of removing certain pieces of nail/skin for X reason is a feeling of relief
 
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TindalosPup

Member
So it's kinda like drugs? You stop using but the temptation is always there?

I think it depends on the person and their situation, I can't speak for all who partake. Not everyone who has once harmed themselves will feel the need to all the time after stopping. There's underlying problems that make people feel like it's needed/wanted.

To me it's a situational urge; I've had a lot of crap happen in the last couple years that made the urge return because it brought back feelings of helplessness and self loathing. I didn't feel like hurting myself for the time I didn't, but I think starting to again can seem like returning to a bad habit, like drugs, because that's exactly what it is

That being said; it certainly feels like a demon hanging over my shoulder, especially when I look at my scars
 
My own experience is that, when there's too many thoughts and feelings are overwhelming, pain can be a relieving distraction. I never got to cutting, though. The first time I was close, I found a website that said to stick your hand in ice instead, that's been enough for me. Haven't had to in a while, life is pretty good.
 
Have you ever completely loathed every fiber of your being enough to the point where you find solace in punishing yourself.

Have you ever become so detached from reality that you are mentally numb to the world and don’t feel like you exist, the pain is the only thing keeping you from slipping out of reality.

have you watched the crow and become a goth and think it’s cool and hip to have scars that have metal as fuck terminology embedded.

there is so so many different excuses someone can provide. It’s fucked up and it’s sad to see someone at that end of their tether,if it’s hidden or for show, these people need somethin.
 
My cousin cuts herself. She also has happened to turn into a heroine addict. She sent pictures of her bloody, cut up arms to her mom on Christmas Eve and it was fucked up. I could hardly look at that shit. Her mom, my Aunt, should have used it as evidence to get her committed as she obviously needs both drug rehab and mental help.

When I was suicidal back in my 20s, I never cut myself. I just overdosed on my prescription medication. Not saying that's any better than cutting yourself, though. I've moved on and I'm not in that dark place now and I don't want to die anymore.
 
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Airola

Member
If someone who's raped or was raped in his childhood cuts himself/herself, I understand and don't blame them for it. It's extremely f***ed up and requires some serious psychiatric attention and help.
But the girlfriend I mention in the OP, she's very rich and pretty much can have anything she wants in life. Her parents are loaded. And I've met her parents, they're not some strict people, they seem pretty normal. I've met her sister, pretty ok girl. I see no reason for her to cut herself. That's why I think it's attention seeking. In her case.

Or then that tells that having a lot of money and getting all you want isn't a sign of things being well and that having a lot of money and getting all you want aren't necessarily going to make your problems go away.
 

mcjmetroid

Member
ya I've done this but I was much younger and stupid. I was having trouble coming to terms with my gayness at the time struggling to understand how love works in the gay world.
It's kinda done I'll admit selfishly for a cry for help I would think. Wanting someone to notice you in a weird way.

Ya I didn't do anything major so I'm sure someone else will have some proper experiences here. I did suffer from depression for a long time but to get out of it you need to change something about your life.

I joined the gym, started learning to drive. I had lived in China for a brief bit as well doing teaching. It's the best advice I can give someone in that situation. If you're feeling low do something different because something in your life isn't working.
 

Bigrx1

Banned
It's a release of inner anger directed at yourself and/or an emotional escape via focusing on the physical sensation of the act - I did it a few times in my 20's and it was kind of similar to the release of emotions when you have a gamer rage moment or something. Like the act itself happens and then you feel more at peace, at least that's how it was for me. I never did it regularly but there were maybe roughly 5 times it happened and they were always in my biggest self-hatred moments. I didn't show it off after or talk about it, but briefly it did make me feel better.

There's a lot of general psychology work done on this it isn't some amorphous thing that nobody knows why it happens. Just a quick google search will new you endless info on it.

People cutting themselfes are stupid, nothing else, weak minded idiots.

change my mind

Nobody will change your mind - you've made it up already.
 

GymWolf

Member
Yeah, a girl in my classroom many years ago, she was hot but crazy as fuck, she also liked peeing stuff during sex, so...

She cut himself to make people worry about her, she was an attention whore.

How do i know this? She was my best friend girlfriend for like a year...also past experience with me and other friends.

She said that he was because of a troubled family situation, but she was a liar so nobody believe her.

P.s. she also burned her hands for the same reason.
 
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Grinchy

Banned
When I was in middle school, there was this girl I'd talk to who sat behind me. I guess she just wasn't used to guys talking to her or something, because she became obsessed. One day she showed me that she had carved my initials into her hand with an exacto knife. Shit was freaky.
 

H4ze

Member
Life will probably change your mind for you at some point.

lol why should it, as if it would be inevitable that my life gets all fucked up. Do you thing my life is sunshine 24/7?
Shit goes down for everyone once in a while, but I won't fucking cut myself about it.
 

TindalosPup

Member
People cutting themselfes are stupid, nothing else, weak minded idiots.

change my mind

lol why should it, as if it would be inevitable that my life gets all fucked up. Do you thing my life is sunshine 24/7?
Shit goes down for everyone once in a while, but I won't fucking cut myself about it.

And you shouldn't, no one should cut themselves, but you shouldn't put people down for their methods of coping, especially with a method as deeply rooted in mental illness stemming, in most cases, from severe depression and physical and/or mental abuse.

Everyone deals with pain differently, you probably have your own methods to deal with it, no one says cutting is the right thing to do. In fact, I'd say it's the action of cutting that's stupid, not the whole person.

For the same reason some people call themselves "They":
For attention

I think this is accurate for teenagers, but most adults who do it aren't after attention, it's usually related to a great deal of pain
 
When i was in my early twenties i had absolutely no self esteem. I loathed myself. I was depressed all the time. And sometimes i'd feel an urge to cut myself. But never did it.
 

mekes

Member
It’s a mental thing OP. An ex of mine previous to us meeting had issues with this type of thing. I think it’s important to not be presumptuous that just because we are all human, that we deal with things in the same way. Some people put their fingers down their throat, some people turn to drugs and other reckless life choices, some take their own lives and all because of stress. Some people just push through, taking any pain and stress and persevere. Some thrive on stress and even enjoy it.

So I think some people just deal with certain pressures completely differently than others. And that’s okay, I just hope everybody manages to find the help that they need when they reach those points. That is the important thing.
 

DKehoe

Member
I knew someone who did and I seem to remember them saying they felt it gave them a sense of control.
 

GMAK2442

Member
I guess this is an mental illness.

On this topic, as I discovered the Universe, I found out this is a fair amount of crazy people.
 

BigBooper

Member
I think it's primarily cultural. People are taught to believe things should be a certain way and when that doesn't happen they respond in ways they think they're supposed to.

I think kids who'd never heard of cutting would be very unlikely to do it.
 
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