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Okay, but if [platform] has [feature], what's the point of gaming on [other platform]? (A next-gen C.Y.O.A)

DunDunDunpachi

Patient MembeR
So, before you label me a [brand]bot, hear me out.

[Company] is the only company that has [feature] according to [standards that vary from gamer to gamer]. Cry all you want, [other brand]ponies, but [Electronics company] has made it crystal-clear their [Branded architecture] has [a list of unique-sounding features that resemble something a sales-rep would say to customers].

And don't even get me started on the games! If [platform] is only going to be [github leaked number]-[out-of-context metric], all of the biggest thirdparty games like [shooter] and [sports game] will run like garbo. I hate to sound inflexible, but I really need my controller to have [minor variation on a decades-old design] or else I can't pull off any [combos/maneuvers/random button mashing].

Besides, [branded online subscription fee] is where all my [friends/schoolmates/social-media acquaintances] will be playing multiplayer!

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(me irl, thought I looked [adjective], might delete later. haha yes girls can be gamers too)
 
So, before you label me an EZ bot, hear me out.

Microsontendo is the only company that has cinematic framerates according to forum posts claiming that the human eye can't see more than 24fps. Cry all you want, Softnyni ponies, but MAD has made it crystal-clear their RNDM4 has automatic, mandatory procedural generation applied to every game, guaranteeing you a unique, random (and usually unwinnable) experience every time.

And don't even get me started on the games! If Nu WorkSerious Series S is only going to be 171NP (Normal Punches), all of the biggest thirdparty games like Call of Doothulhu and PEST will run like garbo. I hate to sound inflexible, but I really need my controller to have 200ms of additional latency or else I can't pull off any excuses when I lose.

Besides, The Banning Grounds is where all my fellow warriors will be playing multiplayer!
 
[Website] hosted by [Website] did an un-biased technical [verb] on the [features] of [product] and the [adjective] shape of the [product] made it clear it [verb]s the [product-gategory] design, and also [feature] [adjective] is supposed to be [adjective].

I tested the [other platform] and wasn't [verb]ed.
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