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[Rentahamster]

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him.

It's not going to make sense in the short term. Your heart wishes you could have done more, but your head knows that you tried. It's not your fault. You respected his freedom as an individual and that's how your dad wanted it to be. Honor his memory, and use your time to help others who are willing to accept it.

I've heard of vaccinated dying, could be wrong, but it may diminish chances but if I didn't mishear it can still kill some even after vaccination.

Even vaccinated people can still contract the disease, suffer from symptoms, or even die from it. However that alone is not the whole story.

Vaccinated people are far less likely to get infected, far less likely to be hospitalized, and far less likely to die from COVID. It's not even close.

Israeli study finds 2.6% COVID breakthrough infection rate

www.cidrap.umn.edu

In total, 2.6% of the healthcare workers had breakthrough COVID-19 infections, 67% of which were mild and 33% of which were asymptomatic. The most common symptoms were upper respiratory congestion (36%), muscle pain (28%), loss of smell or taste (28%), and fever or chills (21%).

"In this study, we found that although the [Pfizer] vaccine is extremely effective, rare breakthrough infections carry an infectious potential and create a special challenge, since such infections are often asymptomatic and may pose a risk to vulnerable populations," the researchers wrote.

COVID-19 Vaccine Breakthrough Cases: Data from the States | KFF

We reviewed the websites and other official state sources for all 50 states and D.C. to see which are providing data on COVID-19 breakthrough cases, hospitalizations and deaths, how regularly, and what those data may tell us.

www.kff.org

• The data reported from these states indicate that breakthrough cases, hospitalizations, and deaths are extremely rare events among those who are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 (see Figure 1). The rate of breakthrough cases reported among those fully vaccinated is well below 1% in all reporting states, ranging from 0.01% in Connecticut to 0.29% in Alaska.
  • The hospitalization rate among fully vaccinated people with COVID-19 ranged from effectively zero (0.00%) in California, Delaware, D.C., Indiana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Vermont, and Virginia to 0.06% in Arkansas. (Note: Hospitalization may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)
  • The rates of death among fully vaccinated people with COVID-19 were even lower, effectively zero (0.00%) in all but two reporting states, Arkansas and Michigan where they were 0.01%. (Note: Deaths may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)

• Almost all (more than 9 in 10) COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations, and deaths have occurred among people who are unvaccinated or not yet fully vaccinated, in those states reporting breakthrough data (see Figure 2).
  • The reported share of COVID-19 cases among those not fully vaccinated ranged from 94.1% in Arizona to 99.85% Connecticut.
  • The share of hospitalizations among those with COVID-19 who are not fully vaccinated ranged from in 95.02% in Alaska to 99.93% in New Jersey. (Note: Hospitalization may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)
  • The share of deaths among people with COVID-19 who are not fully vaccinated ranged from to 96.91% in Montana to 99.91% in New Jersey. (Note: Deaths may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)

COVID-19 breakthrough cases, and especially hospitalizations and deaths, among those who are fully vaccinated are rare occurrences in the United States. Moreover, this data indicate the vast majority of reported COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations, and deaths in U.S. are among those who are unvaccinated or not fully vaccinated. These findings echo the abundance of data demonstrating the effectiveness of currently authorized COVID-19 vaccines.

 

[Xenon]

Sorry for your loss. Don't stress over trying to make sense of it all or blaming yourself. Life's shitty and random. I've found focusing on other's needs distracts the brain from going to those dark places. Focus on your mom, brother, and what needs to be done.

Also it's OK to mad at your dad it doesn't mean that you don't love him. That anger stems from how much you do.

 

[DragoonKain]

Very sorry
I don’t know what to say other than to lean on your loved ones and friends for support during these times and as time goes by you will definitely learn how to cope more and more. Take it one day at a time,

 

[SafeOrAlone]

I'm sorry. The pain must be immense. I hope in time you are able to focus on the good.

I am also very afraid of this happening to my dad.

 

[Wunray]

Thank you guys again, need to post this and step away. Mental health is a serious issue, my dad had a bad case of anxiety and that cost him to shut down and not eat which lead to him getting weak and then getting to that state. He, my family and I didnt take it and covid seriously he said give him a couple of days and he'll brand new. To anyone that reads this take care of your loved ones at the first sign of trouble take them to get help don't wait till its too late.

I'm typing this out for myself (for what ever good that'll do) so it'll be on the internet forever, I love you dad, I love you from the bottom of my heart and I miss you we all do.

 

[Jaysen]

I've heard of vaccinated dying, could be wrong, but it may diminish chances but if I didn't mishear it can still kill some even after vaccination.

The odds of dying after being double vaccinated are infinitesimal. Even getting sick is incredibly rare.

Sorry for your loss OP. That is truly awful.

 

[haxan7]

Sorry bro. He was too young to go.

I went through something like this too and distracting myself was what got me through it. Go to the beach, go to an amusement park, go anywhere so you don't have to dwell on it.

 

[Infiltrator Irelia]

Please take COVID seriously.

 

[Hulk_Smash]

I hope you don’t mind a little more advice but I think it will certainly help you process your grief better:

The day my mom died, I was hysterical about the fact that I didn’t get to say good-bye and that my last conversation with her was a bit negative. My dad said absolutely the thing I needed to hear. He said, “Stop that right now. There is no right moment. You cant change the past. Don’t let your mind go there. Just remember her pain and suffering is over. Focus on that.”

Focus on the happy moments. And when you are more level headed then you can reflect on your life and his.

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

I feel your loss.

Hugs.

 

[Loope]

I'm so sorry for you loss, i lost my dad 2 years ago to a stroke, if you need someone to vent or just talk about it just pm me.

It's hard but eventually it gets better and i want to give my condolences to you and your family. Stay strong man, it was not your fault, don't blame yourself.

 

[DeepBreath87]

It's not going to make sense in the short term. Your heart wishes you could have done more, but your head knows that you tried. It's not your fault. You respected his freedom as an individual and that's how your dad wanted it to be. Honor his memory, and use your time to help others who are willing to accept it.


Even vaccinated people can still contract the disease, suffer from symptoms, or even die from it. However that alone is not the whole story.

Vaccinated people are far less likely to get infected, far less likely to be hospitalized, and far less likely to die from COVID. It's not even close.

Israeli study finds 2.6% COVID breakthrough infection rate

www.cidrap.umn.edu

COVID-19 Vaccine Breakthrough Cases: Data from the States | KFF

We reviewed the websites and other official state sources for all 50 states and D.C. to see which are providing data on COVID-19 breakthrough cases, hospitalizations and deaths, how regularly, and what those data may tell us.

www.kff.org

• The data reported from these states indicate that breakthrough cases, hospitalizations, and deaths are extremely rare events among those who are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 (see Figure 1). The rate of breakthrough cases reported among those fully vaccinated is well below 1% in all reporting states, ranging from 0.01% in Connecticut to 0.29% in Alaska.
  • The hospitalization rate among fully vaccinated people with COVID-19 ranged from effectively zero (0.00%) in California, Delaware, D.C., Indiana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Vermont, and Virginia to 0.06% in Arkansas. (Note: Hospitalization may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)
  • The rates of death among fully vaccinated people with COVID-19 were even lower, effectively zero (0.00%) in all but two reporting states, Arkansas and Michigan where they were 0.01%. (Note: Deaths may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)

• Almost all (more than 9 in 10) COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations, and deaths have occurred among people who are unvaccinated or not yet fully vaccinated, in those states reporting breakthrough data (see Figure 2).
  • The reported share of COVID-19 cases among those not fully vaccinated ranged from 94.1% in Arizona to 99.85% Connecticut.
  • The share of hospitalizations among those with COVID-19 who are not fully vaccinated ranged from in 95.02% in Alaska to 99.93% in New Jersey. (Note: Hospitalization may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)
  • The share of deaths among people with COVID-19 who are not fully vaccinated ranged from to 96.91% in Montana to 99.91% in New Jersey. (Note: Deaths may or may not have been due to COVID-19.)

COVID-19 breakthrough cases, and especially hospitalizations and deaths, among those who are fully vaccinated are rare occurrences in the United States. Moreover, this data indicate the vast majority of reported COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations, and deaths in U.S. are among those who are unvaccinated or not fully vaccinated. These findings echo the abundance of data demonstrating the effectiveness of currently authorized COVID-19 vaccines.

What do you make of this from the UK?

35% of people hospitalized with the Delta variant were vaccinated in the UK - The Commentary

35% of hospitalized patients delta version coronavirus In United Kingdom According to data published by England’s Public Health Agency (PHE, in English) this Friday (6),

thedailyguardian.net

Obviously if +70% of the total population is fully vaccinated, 35% of the hospitalizations demonstrates some decent effectiveness. I’m just trying to put it into the right context in my head.

 

[MrS]

Sorry for your loss OP. Rest in peace to the man.

 

[j0hnnix]

Sorry for your loss OP. Do not think you are a bad son. You did everything you could during these difficult times.

 

[Rentahamster]

What do you make of this from the UK?

35% of people hospitalized with the Delta variant were vaccinated in the UK - The Commentary

35% of hospitalized patients delta version coronavirus In United Kingdom According to data published by England’s Public Health Agency (PHE, in English) this Friday (6),

thedailyguardian.net

Obviously if +70% of the total population is fully vaccinated, 35% of the hospitalizations demonstrates some decent effectiveness. I’m just trying to put it into the right context in my head.

As a greater percentage of the population gets vaccinated, there will be an increase of people who are hospitalized who also happen to be vaccinated. That doesn't say much about the relationship between hospitals and vaccinations or the efficacy of the vaccines, though. If 90% of the people in the UK have purple hair, and most of the people in the hospital have purple hair, the most obvious reason is because more people have purple hair, not that there's a relationship between purple hair and getting sick.

What does give us context about the efficacy of the vaccination, however, is the comparison between the vaccination rates in the population at large and the rate at which each group gets hospitalized.

About 60% of the population in the UK are fully vaccinated. If the vaccine did nothing, you would expect the distribution of patients to mirror that. However, it does not. The majority of people in the UK are vaccinated, yet they are the minority of hospitalized patients, which shows that the vaccine is doing good work in preventing severe illness.

We can also look at the infection data to see who is getting the disease and who is going to the hospital, in order to see if the real world data reflects what we would expect given the current rates of vaccination.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) latest insights - Office for National Statistics

Currently, the vaccine in the UK is approved for only 16 years and older. Much of the unvaccinated are young people, and that is reflected in the data since most people infected with the disease are young people. However, as we all know, COVID is more dangerous to the elderly, so of course the hospitalizations and deaths are skewed to the older population. It's important to approve the vaccine for use in younger people so that the virus doesn't have more fertile ground to hide out and spread.

 

[Nobody_Important]

My condolences OP. I lost someone recently as well. It's hard, but it gets better.

 

[RJMacready73]

You're in for a fucking rough ride man, you just gotta roll with it and be there for your mum & bro, no amount of words can make losing your dad easier, time will do that, you have my condolences

 

[Rad Agast]

Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.

Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.

I'm sorry for your loss. May your father rest in peace. My condolences to you and your family.

 

[Batiman]

My condolences OP, i hope you and your family pull through.

Doesn't matter my wife took the first shot and she STILL got COVID, her sister just 2 days ago got the 2nd shot and was ill and tested positive along with her 2 kids, and here's the kicker the symptoms are just as severe as those who got it BEFORE the vaccine came out!

How are you comparing symptoms here?

Sorry OP. This thread has really saddened me. Keep your head up and stay strong for your mother.

 

[Dev1lXYZ]

My condolences to you, OP. Life is precious and fragile. I lost my Mom to a freak accident in 2005. I never got to say goodbye and she died alone. My father I lost in 2010 to cancer. It was a lot to deal with in that span. It’s your time to carry on the family torch and that is a lot of pressure, I know. Crying helps and for a guy like me I fought it off for a while and bottled it up inside. If you have family and close friends- they can be invaluable at a time like this. Be there for your mother and siblings and reflect on the good times you had with your father. Stay as positive as you can. You can do this.

 

[Rean no Kiseki]

How are you comparing symptoms here?

Sorry OP. This thread has really saddened me. Keep your head up and stay strong for your mother.

Well my sister and brother both got infected last year around July~August and had the following symptoms: fatigue, occasional high temperature, loss of smell and taste (a year later and their senses isn't back 100%), headache and of course occasional shortness of breath, all of these symptoms last month happened to my wife a month AFTER she took the 1st shot of the vaccine and now her sister with 2 shots has the EXACT same symptoms! I'm starting to wonder what the hell is in these shots.

 

[Ailynn]

Wunray , I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. He was far too young...

My prayers are with you and your family, and I hope you find comfort with each other in the memories you shared over the years. I don't know your beliefs, but I sincerely believe you'll see each other again some day in a much more beautiful place than here.

 

[Batiman]

Well my sister and brother both got infected last year around July~August and had the following symptoms: fatigue, occasional high temperature, loss of smell and taste (a year later and their senses isn't back 100%), headache and of course occasional shortness of breath, all of these symptoms last month happened to my wife a month AFTER she took the 1st shot of the vaccine and now her sister with 2 shots has the EXACT same symptoms! I'm starting to wonder what the hell is in these shots.

Are you not aware the virus effects people differently? Different variants?Your wife probably would’ve been much worse without the shot

 

[Rean no Kiseki]

Are you not aware the virus effects people differently? Your wife probably would’ve been much worse without the shot

These are all common symptoms though.


What's your point? Mine was that taking the vaccine doesn't necessarily mean you can't get sick or die, an old man over here died from COVID after completing his vaccine shots.

 

[Rentahamster]

What's your point? Mine was that taking the vaccine doesn't necessarily mean you can't get sick or die

I think the point was to explain the benefit of the shot.

I'm starting to wonder what the hell is in these shots.

What's in the shot is something that trains your immune system to identify COVID19 so that if you do get exposed to the virus, your immune system has a head start in fighting it before the virus multiplies out of control.

Without the shot, your wife's immune system wouldn't have been primed, and there is a high chance that she would have suffered a lot more than what she did.

 

[eyesabitdull]

My sincere condolences.

I wake up every day worried my father would get affected, so I can't imagine having that fear realized.

Please stay safe, and I hope your family gets through this together.

We'll do our best for you here when you need us.

 

[Batiman]

These are all common symptoms though.


What's your point? Mine was that taking the vaccine doesn't necessarily mean you can't get sick or die, an old man over here died from COVID after completing his vaccine shots.

Your post seemed to dismiss the benefits of the shots. Asking “what’s the point”.

Sorry for derail. Really hoping the best for your family OP. Like I said before. Stay strong!

 

[Droxcy]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[TheMan]

Fuck COVID. Sorry about your dad op- I lost mine to cancer almost a year and it’s a tough to deal with. Lean on your friends and family. Time will help.

 

[Ash Sparrow]

Sends prayers sorry for you loss.

 

[Blade2.0]

That sucks man, sorry to hear it. If you aren't vaxxed, get it ASAP. It saves lives. I've read many stories out there now of non-vaxxed dying in ICUs, now. It's never fun to hear someone passed away when it is wholly treatable. Good luck to you moving forward from all of this and I hope your mother comes out the other side of this.

 

[Monokrom]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my father about 15 years ago, he was about the same age as your dad.

 

[Thaedolus]

I’m very sorry for your loss.

 

[Cleared_Hot]

Story for your loss. Was he vaccinated, and did he have any comorbids?

 

[Mohonky]

So sorry to hear man.

These new strains are so much worse than the original and its got me concerned.

 

[Mohonky]

I've heard of vaccinated dying, could be wrong, but it may diminish chances but if I didn't mishear it can still kill some even after vaccination.

Immunisation doesnt prevent infection, it prepares the bodies immune response.

Without a vaccine, the body has to find the virus and identify it, then it provides the instruction set required to make the antibodies. It takes time.

Vaccines basically allow the body to find, identify and then have the antibodies ready to go.

Essentially it gives the body a headstart as it already has the means of fighting ready to go so before the virus can really take hold and begin to infiltrate the cells it is recognised more quickly and the response is faster as its ready to go.

The difference between the vaccines is also that traditonally you get shot with a dead virus, which the body finds and creates the instruction set for to make the antibodies for. mRNA vaccines like Pfziser basically skip the find and identify part and provide the instruction set to make the antibodies directly

 

[Omega Supreme Holopsicon]

The odds of dying after being double vaccinated are infinitesimal. Even getting sick is incredibly rare.

Sorry for your loss OP. That is truly awful.

The odds can't be that infinitesimal if already locally we have one guy hospitalized for complications and at least two dead from those who've gotten covid after multiple vaccinations, iirc.

Again you're assuming the vaccine can protect against the variants without issue, we don't know that.

Even vaccinated people can still contract the disease, suffer from symptoms, or even die from it. However that alone is not the whole story.

Vaccinated people are far less likely to get infected, far less likely to be hospitalized, and far less likely to die from COVID. It's not even close.

We are deploying a vaccine in the middle of a pandemic, there's no telling how this will alter the evolution of the virus, or if simlar will be the case with all variants.

 

[bitbydeath]

It’s definitely not your fault Wunray and I’m sure your father wouldn’t want you thinking that too. Take care of yourself and your family in this difficult time, sorry for your loss.

 

[MrA]

It’s definitely not your fault Wunray and I’m sure your father wouldn’t want you thinking that too. Take care of yourself and your family in this difficult time, sorry for your loss.

this is the single best piece of advice, you can't change the past but you can make the future better. Wunray now isn't the right time, but if you or any friends/family members that are overweight or obese getting them to exercise or workout is a way to reduce the odds of going through something like this again while at the same time improving quality of life and strengthening relationships. plus nobody ever regrets working out or losing weight and when you've got a partner in health it's a lot easier to get started/continue. obviously, there are other healthy choices you can encourage- but let's go to the gym together is an easier sell than, stop smoking/drinking/unhealthy diet.

 

[Omega Supreme Holopsicon]

this is the single best piece of advice, you can't change the past but you can make the future better. Wunray now isn't the right time, but if you or any friends/family members that are overweight or obese getting them to exercise or workout is a way to reduce the odds of going through something like this again while at the same time improving quality of life and strengthening relationships. plus nobody ever regrets working out or losing weight and when you've got a partner in health it's a lot easier to get started/continue. obviously, there are other healthy choices you can encourage- but let's go to the gym together is an easier sell than, stop smoking/drinking/unhealthy diet.

Overweight also have higher odds of vitamin D deficient status which results in greater likelihood of covid complications. Sun exposure or D supplementation helps against that. Higher D also helps lose weight.

Another thing that helps lose weight is small amount of apple cider vinegar intake.

Also resveratrol helps lose fat(in addition to massively altering gene expression preventing aging of the heart)

Scientists have shown that berries, grapes and other fruits convert excess white fat into calorie-burning 'beige' fat, providing new strategies for the prevention and treatment of obesity. In the study, mice were fed a high fat diet. Those receiving resveratrol in amounts equivalent to 12 ounces of fruit per day for humans gained about 40 percent less weight than control mice.

Scientists turn white fat into obesity-fighting beige fat

Scientists have shown that berries, grapes and other fruits convert excess white fat into calorie-burning 'beige' fat, providing new strategies for the prevention and treatment of obesity. In the study, mice were fed a high fat diet. Those receiving resveratrol in amounts equivalent to 12 ounces...

www.sciencedaily.com

Intense exercise is a bit difficult and not everyone has a knack for it. But simple walks down the neighborhood or park can provide low intensity activity that is pretty safe even in relatively large amounts, and low impact such that it doesn't stress joints as much as running. Lot of walking is important, and one of the best exercises there is.

 

[itxaka]

This fucking sucks. I also Lost my father this January, fucking lung cancer took him in 2 months from normal to a skeleton of a person.

You will get regrets during a time (should have done this, should have said this), blame yourself, probably get angry at him and get fucking sad like you want to die on random days.

It's all part of the process. You need to look forward and not dwell in the past. It's difficult and sometimes will feel impossible (how I'm going to forget this, how I'm going to keep my life after this) but trust me, it gets better step by step.

In any case, look out for psychological help if you need it, a couple of sessions helped me a lot.

And sorry for your loss, life sucks sometimes

 

[Fuz]

Sorry for your loss.

It's normal feeling guilty and thinking back at what you've done or you haven't done, when a loved one leaves you. Don't beat yourself too much about it. Things just happen.

 

[Shadowstar39]

I'm sorry for your loss OP. I know just what you are going through. Its tough and it hurts more than anything. Especially if you were close to him. I lost my dad last year. He was 67. He died right in the heart of Covid April 2020. I am going to share my story about it so you know you are not alone and as I haven't really written about it before and need to.

He went to the doctor for breathing issues in January 2020 (right before the virus was admitted to), they started out of the blue and a week later was in the hospital. Dr. there was being cryptic with me and I didn't like it. They said he had cancer but weren't sure what and couldn't do anything. Apparently he had too many other issues and they didn't want him to be in pain with treatments and said it was a waste of time.

My dad got a bit better but then worse. He had issues walking and they wouldn't discharge him to his apartment. It was second story and he would be up there for days without someone to help him get down the flight of steps. The summer before I had stayed with him to help as I was going through a divorce/separation in 2019. I felt guitly for not staying with him and helping after he died.

I had to put him in a rehab/hospice/nursing home near where I lived so he could have 24x7 care. This was fine at first. I was there as much as I possibly could, but then covid happened. Things got really shitty. I wasnt allowed to bring him furniture like a recliner, and he needed that to sleep. They originally promised i could bring it, but when i got there they turned me away. I was livid. Then they stopped visitation. I went through a whole month of my dad going through pain and in his last month I wasn't allow to see him until the very very end. I snuck in and called him and stood by the window to his room to talk. It was messed up. I got the call when he was on his deathbed unconscious. I had to wear a hazmat suit. Then I found out he was in the covid wing. Why was he there with covid patients? This made no sense. Some people in my family think that he had it and they were covering it up. I don't know but nothing of his case made any sense. Especially his "cancer without a location nonsense". He was given 6 months but covid and the no visitors cut that short. He left this world alone and it fucking sucks!

I had issues with my pops when i was a teen. He was severe bi-polar, but wasn't always it him in his late 20s. In the 80s they didn't have good meds for this (lithium mostly) which made him a mad man. My parents split when I was 7 after he threatened to kill us all driving off a cliff. He got a bit better but it was a front. The meds didn't work or he didn't take them. I remember him breaking in and drinking my moms liquor and kidnapping me as an 8 year old kid and talking about the apocalypse as he was getting fed stuff at church that he was going overboard on. I remember the high speed drive into the mountains and me jumping out of the car and running to a house knocking at the door and having them call the police. He went to jail and I wasn't allowed to see him until I was 18.

In the 90s I got rebellious and was into doing drugs, lots of lsd and weed mostly (it later progressed). And I was growing distant with my moms due to who I was seeing and what I was doing with my lsd projects and experiments. I reached out to my dad for the first time in years and he was different. Still having issues but not like before. The meds were better. He also understood and accepted me, as he was a left over big hippie from the late 60s early 70s who had a hand painted van and looked the part. Over the next few years I had left home and moved out on my own. I also got involved in pain killers which led to Heroin and a lot of bad decisions (but at the time it was all drugs and tons of sex so I didn't care). Throughout my journey into the abyss my dad was there whenever I needed him to bail me out or just lend an ear. He was always there. He spent his last good years making sure I was alright. All the times I slipped and fell back into the H and into the pits of Philly. All the rehabs , he would bring my stuff, and pick it up when i would leave after charming a female addict in the hospital to take my hand and go with me on a "journey". He was with me through getting clean and there when I got married even though he was in pain from a motorcycle accident. He also seen my marriage fall apart, which was my own doing, but he kept giving support.

He would talk to me about his survival theories, and prepper tools, as well as straight razor shaving. He was stuck in an apartment where he couldn't leave for the last few years of his life. It had to be horrible for the ex hippie, rock climber, hiker, camper, hunter, fisherman to have to be stuck in a box. Then to be pulled there to a nursing home. I felt bad about it but what could I have done. I didn't have the money for a full apartment and live in help/nurses. His ssid would of been pulled if I was living with him to help anyway.

I blamed myself for my pops death and its been over a year now. I still miss him. I miss him so much. He shouldn't of left yet. I know I am being selfish, but its tough. He was in pain but he had more to give I still have his ashes in a cardboard box as I wasn't allowed to throw any service during covid. Its drapped with an American Flag his photo and his favorite straight razor. I will be spreading them soon with my GF who wants to be there with me while I do it.

So I feel for you OP. I really do. I know what its like to loose your dad, as mine was more than a dad he was a friend and cared even after all the shit that happened before. Covid isn't making things easier. I only have my mom left, and have no siblings. My dad was half my family. Hang in there, is all I can say. Let the emotions come out when they come on and don't be ashamed. I kept it all bottled up until this year and out of the blew I balled over it with just listening to an old song.
Talk to people about this if you need help. Sharing here is a good start. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER HIS DEATH. You cant change the past, only what you do now will have any effect.

RIP for all the loved ones who have perished.

 

[Julius Ibidus]

sincerest condolences on your loss, and hope that, in time, you can find some peace and healing.

 

[DeafTourette]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my birth mom last year this month... It's hard. Just treasure every good memory you have of him! That will help you get through this.

If I could, I'd give you a hug. Don't be afraid to get or give plenty of those with your family members right now. Believe it or not, hugs help, too.

 

[Airbus Jr]

RIP bro

Sorry for your loss man

 

[Amiga]

It was his time. you can express your love by prying for him and following the good examples he gave you. and help him square things up with people. finish commitments he may have had.

 

[Jaysen]

The odds can't be that infinitesimal if already locally we have one guy hospitalized for complications and at least two dead from those who've gotten covid after multiple vaccinations, iirc.

Again you're assuming the vaccine can protect against the variants without issue, we don't know that.


We are deploying a vaccine in the middle of a pandemic, there's no telling how this will alter the evolution of the virus, or if simlar will be the case with all variants.

We actually do know it, because the CDC and other health organizations have said so.

 

[QSD]

I hope you don’t mind a little more advice but I think it will certainly help you process your grief better:

The day my mom died, I was hysterical about the fact that I didn’t get to say good-bye and that my last conversation with her was a bit negative. My dad said absolutely the thing I needed to hear. He said, “Stop that right now. There is no right moment. You cant change the past. Don’t let your mind go there. Just remember her pain and suffering is over. Focus on that.”

Focus on the happy moments. And when you are more level headed then you can reflect on your life and his.

These are some very wise words that deserve a QFT

My condolences and strength for the time to come.

 

[raduque]

I'm sorry for your loss OP, that's awful. This virus can be a bastard when combined with other bad health issues.

I almost lost my father back in 2012 to multiple heart attacks, so I know a little bit about how you feel.