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My Father passed away due to covid this morning He was 56 years old

Wunray

Member
Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.

Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.
 
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Raven117

Gold Member
I’m so sorry OP.
Be there for your family and talk to someone if you need to. That’s tragic.
 

Peggies

Gold Member
so he wasn't vaxxed?
Od GIF by MCDM
 

DKehoe

Gold Member
You did what you were able to and you did it because you love him. Nothing is gonna change that.

My dad passed away in January last year. So I totally get everything that's going through your head just now.
 

Pagusas

Elden Member
You can’t control an air born virus, it’s not your fault. If things were that bad that quickly than he was one of the very unlucky ones who this disease affects at its most potent level. It’s likely nothing would have been able to help him. Please don’t blame or beat yourself up, rather put that energy into caring for your remaining family and honoring his memory with spreading all the goodness he brought to the world. Don’t let his name or deeds be forgotten.
 
I'm really sorry to hear that but there is no need to blame yourself OP. There was nothing much you could have done if he refused an ambulance and was too overweight for y'all to lift him. His lifestyle and his choices contributed to the unfortunate events but I have no doubt he knew you loved him and would do anything to save his life. Watching someone go before you can say goodbye is one of the hardest things to go through. My condolences to you and your family.
 
Obesity and his underlining health conditions would have only aggravated the problem. Those of us who were healthy before contracting Covid had a much higher chance of recovering then those who weren’t and were in old age. Be there to support the family and don’t let it torment you too much.
 

Wunray

Member
I wish this wasn't this hard, I would give everything to go back for 2 seconds to tell him I love you. The image of him looking up at in the tub (he couldnt really help himself all that mch) just keeps playing over and over in my head nd seeing the sadness in his eyes and the hurt. Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart thankyou. I need to get my headspace right.
 

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
I wish this wasn't this hard, I would give everything to go back for 2 seconds to tell him I love you. The image of him looking up at in the tub (he couldnt really help himself all that mch) just keeps playing over and over in my head nd seeing the sadness in his eyes and the hurt. Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart thankyou. I need to get my headspace right.
I lost my father to prostate cancer 5 years ago. I was living in a different country at the time, and so didn't get to even see him before he passed. Be thankful both for you and for him that you were with him in his last moments, I will always regret that I wasn't there.
It's going to take a long time to get through your grief, don't push yourself too hard.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Sorry for your loss, Covid is horrible disease. Went through myself and it wasn't pretty. I also had hard time to walk and I am like a 60% of his age, walking downstairs to ambulance was...quite an experience.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse, but it was too late for ambulance anyway, once you drop below 70% of oxygen blood saturation, most likely you are going to die in hospital. I was at 80% and it was close enough.

So I wouldn't really think that much about personal failings...
 
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Wunray

Member
Sorry for your loss, Covid is horrible disease. Went through myself and it wasn't pretty. I also had hard time to walk and I am like a 60% of his age, walking downstairs to ambulance was...quite an experience.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse, but it was too late for ambulance anyway, once you drop below 70% of oxygen blood saturation, most likely you are going to die in hospital. I was at 80% and it was close enough.

So I wouldn't really think that much about personal failings...
he was on 15 leters of oxygen is that bad?
 

Tschumi

Member
I'm sorry for your loss, one of my parents is currently going through a longer form of goodbye, either way it's... awful.

Please, consider all the things he achieved. He achieved you, he achieved your family, I know not what else but surely there's a fair bit more there for him and, now, you to have been proud of. You're his testament... You're his embodiment... So celebrate his achievements and try to live up to, or even - as a son - beyond, them.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
he was on 15 leters of oxygen is that bad?
Hmm leters of oxygen? Not sure what that means.

No oxygen can only help, however... If you have your lungs clogged from Pneumonia, no amount of oxygen can help you because you can't extract it.

This also kind of makes me think about oxygen.... Was it mixed with air? Because if not, then you destroy your lungs, because as a strong oxidizer which will damage your lungs beyond repair and it has basically same effect as something like Covid, but it's way faster. You will suffocate. I don't wan to fuel here with some speculation, but you asked...
 

Wunray

Member
Hmm leters of oxygen? Not sure what that means.

No oxygen can only help, however... If you have your lungs clogged from Pneumonia, no amount of oxygen can help you because you can't extract it.

This also kind of makes me think about oxygen.... Was it mixed with air? Because if not, then you destroy your lungs, because as a strong oxidizer which will damage your lungs beyond repair and it has basically same effect as something like Covid, but it's way faster. You will suffocate. I don't wan to fuel here with some speculation, but you asked...
That's what they told me on the phone, but I won't ask anymore cause it wont change anything, thank you though.
 

Impotaku

Member
They probably meant litres of oxygen you can measure gas in liquid form. Either way it's a fucked up situation losing a parent in any way, watched mine die in front of me on the sofa when i was 4 it stays with you forever.

Cherish the time you did have with him op
 

SlimySnake

Flashless at the Golden Globes
It's not your fault OP. You did nothing wrong. Doubt the ER wouldve done anything if his oxygen levels are so long.

Take care of your mom and brother. Stay strong and do not blame yourself. Buy an oxygen meter. They are only $10 or so and easy to use. Monitor and go to the ER or call the ambulance if it gets to dangerous levels. Doctors should tell you what they are.

Sorry for your loss. My best friend also lost his dad to covid. He was only 57. It's a messed up disease.
 

TrueLegend

Member
Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.

Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.
Its always ugly brother. But you can only help to a limit. Take care of your family members. I won't say I know your pain, but I had all of my family which includes uncles and aunts in hospital a few months back. The loss due to the pandemic is immeasurable...it broke my heart, put me in hospital(but not due to infection). In the world of social media even the question of survival has become a political debate. I understand the feeling of helplessness though. If not for my sister.....last year I was in a similar situation, I needed a higher level of medical attention but due to lockdown, everything was closed, and we couldn't go anywhere, but because of her I survived. I am the most beloved and the most intelligent person in my family and the tragic part was that nearly all my family members work in the hospital, yet they were afraid, and in their fear they went as far as to call me delusional and that nothing was wrong with my body when I had serious stomach issues due to a different virus and bacterial infection in my mouth and I had never seen that ever in my family. When we eventually went to a super specialty hospital and the reports came the shame of my family members were showing on their face. I forgave them because I understood deep down we all were scared. Months after all my remaining family members ended up in the same hospital in the same bed I was. I don't know what to say to you to provide solace but I don't usually share personal stuff but I wanted to tell you that i understand that you are hurt. It's okay to feel guilty, its ok to cry. I feel guilty for getting sick, I feel guilty for getting angry over my family, I feel guilty over how I fought with my family in an ugly fashion even though the question was about my life and I was proven right, guilt is natural. So, Please take care of yourself. I am still going through treatment. Two days ago, I had surgital removal of my wisdom teeth, I have four stitches on my inner cheeks, I can't eat solid food as I am typing, I am on a liquid diet, I have two more to go. I am in physical pain right now but I cannot imagine your pain and guilt. I pray for peace of your mind.

To all those reading, please follow some preventive measures. Because it's about perspective, you are never going to solve all the problems of the world, but that should not be an excuse for not making any effort to address the problems that we can solve. We didn't clubbed together as a society for hugs and kisses, we did so for survival. We need solidarity as a species when it comes to questions like these. And its not over yet. I am not scorning people, I understand why some people don't want to get vaccinated, many in my family didn't and they work in hospital, and they were hospitalized later. You cannot let yourself be governed by fear of fear itself. Because only in front of fear one can be brave, so many people have sacrificed their life for producing this vaccine, some willingly. Yes there are risks, but you take more risks crossing a road every day. So far, the only way this pandemic can logically end is by complete vaccination. Nobody can enforce it on you, but please give it a serious thought. I pray for well being of all of you. Peace.
 

Wunray

Member
To all those reading, please follow some preventive measures. Because it's about perspective, you are never going to solve all the problems of the world, but that should not be an excuse for not making any effort to address the problems that we can solve. We didn't clubbed together as a society for hugs and kisses, we did so for survival. We need solidarity as a species when it comes to questions like these. And its not over yet. I am not scorning people, I understand why some people don't want to get vaccinated, many in my family didn't and they work in hospital, and they were hospitalized later. You cannot let yourself be governed by fear of fear itself. Because only in front of fear one can be brave, so many people have sacrificed their life for producing this vaccine, some willingly. Yes there are risks, but you take more risks crossing a road every day. So far, the only way this pandemic can logically end is by complete vaccination. Nobody can enforce it on you, but please give it a serious thought. I pray for well being of all of you. Peace.
Please everyone this is important, take care of yourselves and stay safe.
 

BennyBlanco

aka IMurRIVAL69
Sorry for your loss OP. We are living through what will go down as a fucked up moment in history. He was far too young to go.
 
so sorry for your loss. it's fucking hard dealing with the loss of a parent. been through it myself. can't imagine what it must be like for you cause of covid.

it's OK to hurt and cry so don't hold back. you'll beat yourself up and you'll hate yourself thinking what could i have done different....that's OK too. it's normal and part of dealing with the loss of a loved one. but stay strong. you'll be OK :) you'll never get over it but you'll learn to live with it.

if you need to get some shit off your chest we're all here for you. if you don't wanna post publicly then feel free to shoot me a PM. i got open heart and ears for you mate.


so he wasn't vaxxed?
fuck off
 
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belmarduk

Member
Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.

Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.

Of course he didn't deserve any of that. I'm very sorry for your loss.
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Sorry for your loss OP.

Please don't blame yourself. This wasn't your fault.
 

AJUMP23

Member
Sorry for your loss, your not a failure and you can do more every day. I am sure your dad loves you a great deal and you should find hope in that assurance. Talk to your brother and your mom and friends and work through it.
 

jonnyp

Member
Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.

I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.

Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.

So sorry for your loss but it most definitely is not your fault so please don't blame yourself.
 
My condolences OP, i hope you and your family pull through.
so he wasn't vaxxed?
Doesn't matter my wife took the first shot and she STILL got COVID, her sister just 2 days ago got the 2nd shot and was ill and tested positive along with her 2 kids, and here's the kicker the symptoms are just as severe as those who got it BEFORE the vaccine came out!
 

22•22

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
I'm so so sorry to hear this my friend.. I dread the day it'll happen to me.. I'm in no position to give advice so I'll instead wish you the strength, courage and love you so deserve... Take care..
 
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