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haxan7

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
Billy Loomis said:
Woke up at 4am and feel like this:

wake-up-arise.gif


Going to be a fun day I see.
Click to expand...

Angry Season 9 GIF by Shameless
 
OmegaSupreme

OmegaSupreme

advanced basic bitch
Damn. Some big names succumbed to the temp ban hammer lately.
I need a nap. I wish I could put blackout curtains on the windows in my office.
 
Tschumi

Tschumi

Member
I'm not suggesting we play a posting russian roulette of saying things that are almost console warring but aren't but i've received reports that somebody is about to suggest it next wednesday
 
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A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
So what's up guys I'm back from the hospital, ended my hemo got my last surgery done.I just need one last meeting with my oncologist to be told I'm cancer free again...I just need to stop peeing blood but that's normal after having a uretral probe for a few days.And guys believe me if you have the chance between uretral probe and anything else, chose anythig else.
Just imagine that the diameter of that probe was 26mm ... in your pee hole ...Hurts as hell.
 
SoggyBiscuit

SoggyBiscuit

Banned
azertydu91 said:
So what's up guys I'm back from the hospital, ended my hemo got my last surgery done.I just need one last meeting with my oncologist to be told I'm cancer free again...I just need to stop peeing blood but that's normal after having a uretral probe for a few days.And guys believe me if you have the chance between uretral probe and anything else, chose anythig else.
Just imagine that the diameter of that probe was 26mm ... in your pee hole ...Hurts as hell.
Click to expand...
Glad to have you back from the hospital mate. Hope all is well with the oncologist!
 
A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
AmorousBiscuit said:
Glad to have you back from the hospital mate. Hope all is well with the oncologist!
Click to expand...
Yep don't worry I just had a scan confirming that there were no inflamated nodules anymore meaning that I'm basically cancer free ... again.
But this time it is different there's not much organs left that my cancer could be going to so there should be way less chance of me getting it again before a long time.
 
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Tschumi

Tschumi

Member
azertydu91 said:
So what's up guys I'm back from the hospital, ended my hemo got my last surgery done.I just need one last meeting with my oncologist to be told I'm cancer free again...I just need to stop peeing blood but that's normal after having a uretral probe for a few days.And guys believe me if you have the chance between uretral probe and anything else, chose anythig else.
Just imagine that the diameter of that probe was 26mm ... in your pee hole ...Hurts as hell.
Click to expand...
Congratulations :)

i had that once too for heart surgery (minor), i asked them to please put it in after i went under... but they took it out when i was awake... awful, awful feeling...

(more funny stories about that surgery, it happened in japan and they gave me a local's dose of anaesthetic so i was still awake when the started cutting into me - didn't feel any pain, but certainly felt what was happening, and i felt that thing going up my wang too - eek! i kinda moaned and they pumped a ton more gas into my mask lol... starting to go unconcious but fighting it was an awful feeling, felt like death, didn't help that my hearing glitched out and everything sounded like a giant echoing freezing PC)
 
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A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
Tschumi said:
Congratulations :)

i had that once too for heart surgery (minor), i asked them to please put it in after i went under... but they took it out when i was awake... awful, awful feeling...

(more funny stories about that surgery, it happened in japan and they gave me a local's dose of anaesthetic so i was still awake when the started cutting into me - didn't feel any pain, but certainly felt what was happening, and i felt that thing going up my wang too - eek! i kinda moaned and they pumped a ton more gas into my mask lol... starting to go unconcious but fighting it was an awful feeling, felt like death, didn't help that my hearing glitched out and everything sounded like a giant echoing freezing PC)
Click to expand...
Yeah,I hope you are better now man.If you want more horror stories about that about 2 years ago I got clots in the blader of a substantial size.
I had the surgery it went well...I spent a few hours in my room with no nurse ever coming to it, my perf was ankled so no painkillers or hydratation whatsoever.
Then a nurse came telling me it was time to get that probe out...For those that don't know the whole concept of that probe is a tube with a balloon at the end to make sure it doesn't go away once inside.You put it in with the balloon empty then inject water into it and when you need to get the probe out you suck the water inside the ballon then take it off.
But I had the extreme luck that my nurse only partially emptied the balloon, meaning that she pulled off a probe way bigger than what was supposed to.
It felt like pulling multiple big knives being pulled out of your dick...Basically she ripped half of my uretra out of my dick.Then she told me I had to pee once and go home.
I blasted a shotgun like spread of flesh and blood all over the toilet and she was only upset that someone had to clean that mess but told me to go home.
That guys is only the first part of that horror story.
Once home barely able to walk I tried to pee again but couldn't, So I kept trying despite the pain being massive and having had no painkillers prescribed or in my perfusion since it was ankled thus not injecting anything.I tried all night until i came to the realisation that it was not normal, I was starting to have vesical contractions and my bladder was starting to get totally full.
So I went to the ER on a fucking bumpy road, a hell of a trip that I can't recommend to anybody not even my worst ennemy.Then I had to wait 3 hours at the ER until they finally took care of me.
And in a nutshell I had that clot because since they had already removed a lot inside my body my bladder was not aliigned correctly with my urethra.
So it is almost impossible now for me to get probed there without cutting or ripping some part inside.
And they had the wonderful idea of trying to put a big probe inside an half shredded urethra into a bladder that they couldn't reach.They tried for about an hour pumping that probe inside my dick.Until my urologist came to the hospital and learned all that happenned the day before and that I was at the ER.
Long story short that nurse had no authority to tell me to go home and badly removed the probed meaning I should have had an emergency surgery right after she took it off, she sould've checked that I was able to pee something else than blood and only my urologist could've told me to go home after of course prescribing me painkillers(and that would've been if the probe was taken off how it should).
So he ran to the ER yelled at the poor nurse that was taking care of me explaininng her all the things that happened to me that she didn't know and they finally used a catheter meaning a long needle near the navel into the bladder.And guys I peed more than 2L they had never seen that much that quick.
I kept it for a week until my inside where capable of being independant and that nurse was fired.
Sorry if there's some letters missing my keyboard doesn't register all of them.

Edit: thank you for the gold but that's too much you shouldn't have ...I just wanted to share a story that now I find funny.But please don't spend money on me.Even though I appreciate the gesture.
 
Last edited:
Tschumi

Tschumi

Member
azertydu91 said:
Yeah,I hope you are better now man.If you want more horror stories about that about 2 years ago I got clots in the blader of a substantial size.
I had the surgery it went well...I spent a few hours in my room with no nurse ever coming to it, my perf was ankled so no painkillers or hydratation whatsoever.
Then a nurse came telling me it was time to get that probe out...For those that don't know the whole concept of that probe is a tube with a balloon at the end to make sure it doesn't go away once inside.You put it in with the balloon empty then inject water into it and when you need to get the probe out you suck the water inside the ballon then take it off.
But I had the extreme luck that my nurse only partially emptied the balloon, meaning that she pulled off a probe way bigger than what was supposed to.
It felt like pulling multiple big knives being pulled out of your dick...Basically she ripped half of my uretra out of my dick.Then she told me I had to pee once and go home.
I blasted a shotgun like spread of flesh and blood all over the toilet and she was only upset that someone had to clean that mess but told me to go home.
That guys is only the first part of that horror story.
Once home barely able to walk I tried to pee again but couldn't, So I kept trying despite the pain being massive and having had no painkillers prescribed or in my perfusion since it was ankled thus not injecting anything.I tried all night until i came to the realisation that it was not normal, I was starting to have vesical contractions and my bladder was starting to get totally full.
So I went to the ER on a fucking bumpy road, a hell of a trip that I can't recommend to anybody not even my worst ennemy.Then I had to wait 3 hours at the ER until they finally took care of me.
And in a nutshell I had that clot because since they had already removed a lot inside my body my bladder was not aliigned correctly with my urethra.
So it is almost impossible now for me to get probed there without cutting or ripping some part inside.
And they had the wonderful idea of trying to put a big probe inside an half shredded urethra into a bladder that they couldn't reach.They tried for about an hour pumping that probe inside my dick.Until my urologist came to the hospital and learned all that happenned the day before and that I was at the ER.
Long story short that nurse had no authority to tell me to go home and badly removed the probed meaning I should have had an emergency surgery right after she took it off, she sould've checked that I was able to pee something else than blood and only my urologist could've told me to go home after of course prescribing me painkillers(and that would've been if the probe was taken off how it should).
So he ran to the ER yelled at the poor nurse that was taking care of me explaininng her all the things that happened to me that she didn't know and they finally used a catheter meaning a long needle near the navel into the bladder.And guys I peed more than 2L they had never seen that much that quick.
I kept it for a week until my inside where capable of being independant and that nurse was fired.
Sorry if there's some letters missing my keyboard doesn't register all of them.
Click to expand...
by the orange text in ur quote i was like this:

No Way Wow GIF


...edit: just got to the end, glad that nurse got nuked

i was once sent to ER pointlessly by an eager GP who thought i was having a heart attack when he heard my irregular rhythm, some fucking nurse with flair pinned to his scrubs and wrist bands took one look at me and said he aught to put a plug into my arm just in case they had to give me some kind of drip... it was australia so of course it took about 6 hours for a doctor to see me, then he came back again 3 hours later saying 'why the fuck have u got that in ur arm?'

absolutely nothing compared to what u went through though mate enjoy ur gold lol
 
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OmegaSupreme

OmegaSupreme

advanced basic bitch
azertydu91 said:
So what's up guys I'm back from the hospital, ended my hemo got my last surgery done.I just need one last meeting with my oncologist to be told I'm cancer free again...I just need to stop peeing blood but that's normal after having a uretral probe for a few days.And guys believe me if you have the chance between uretral probe and anything else, chose anythig else.
Just imagine that the diameter of that probe was 26mm ... in your pee hole ...Hurts as hell.
Click to expand...
Yeesh. That sounds like hell. Great to hear you're kicking cancers ass though.
 
A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
Tschumi said:
by the orange text in ur quote i was like this:

No Way Wow GIF
Click to expand...
Yeah I have other great stories like that since life has always found a great pleasure in fucking me up and inflicting me as much pain as possible.I could've told you about the time I've had testicle torso for 5 days and almost lost a testicle.Or how !i have a genetic condition meaning that most local anesthetics don't works on me and only make me sick and how I had a surgery with basically no painkillers or anesthesic implanting a chemo port for an hour and a half.It was just like you I was able to tell everything that the surgeon was doing and he kept telling I was not supposed to feel anything, so to occupy me they showed me the video of what he was doing...This happenned when they put it in.Simply because it was discovered after this surgery that local anesthesics were not working on me.When they removed it they offered me either full anesthesia but I had to spend the night at the hospital or the other painful way but I could leave right after...I didn't want to spend the night at the hospital but this time I knew what was coming and believe it or not when you know you're gonna suffer the pain is way more tolerable of someone cutting through your pectoral.
 
A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
T8SC said:
So for the record... the smaller your penis, the shorter the urethra, therefore the less distance that probe has to venture and potentially less pain ... for once having a small penis pays off.


S Star-Lord you'd be ok.
Click to expand...
I wasn't talking about the length of the cable but its girth and after all that happenned believe me my dick went inside like a turtle head..I even joked about it being shy when I went to the ER...I was like "Come on don't embarass me in front of everyone you're supposed to be bigger".At least a few nurses laughed and told me it was totally normal.
 
A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
OmegaSupreme said:
Yeesh. That sounds like hell. Great to hear you're kicking cancers ass though.
Click to expand...
Yeah don't worry man I already did it twice I'll be ready for the 3rd round if it comes up one day.The worst part was the anemia that's how we found out I had cancer because I had so little hemoglobine that my doctor sent me to the ER instantly.To give you an example you are supposed to be between13.5 and 17.2 g/dL I was under 6g/dL.At the ER they had no idea how I was still conscious.But damn I was tired I was almost passing out after taking a shower.
 
SoggyBiscuit

SoggyBiscuit

Banned
azertydu91 said:
Yeah,I hope you are better now man.If you want more horror stories about that about 2 years ago I got clots in the blader of a substantial size.
I had the surgery it went well...I spent a few hours in my room with no nurse ever coming to it, my perf was ankled so no painkillers or hydratation whatsoever.
Then a nurse came telling me it was time to get that probe out...For those that don't know the whole concept of that probe is a tube with a balloon at the end to make sure it doesn't go away once inside.You put it in with the balloon empty then inject water into it and when you need to get the probe out you suck the water inside the ballon then take it off.
But I had the extreme luck that my nurse only partially emptied the balloon, meaning that she pulled off a probe way bigger than what was supposed to.
It felt like pulling multiple big knives being pulled out of your dick...Basically she ripped half of my uretra out of my dick.Then she told me I had to pee once and go home.
I blasted a shotgun like spread of flesh and blood all over the toilet and she was only upset that someone had to clean that mess but told me to go home.
That guys is only the first part of that horror story.
Once home barely able to walk I tried to pee again but couldn't, So I kept trying despite the pain being massive and having had no painkillers prescribed or in my perfusion since it was ankled thus not injecting anything.I tried all night until i came to the realisation that it was not normal, I was starting to have vesical contractions and my bladder was starting to get totally full.
So I went to the ER on a fucking bumpy road, a hell of a trip that I can't recommend to anybody not even my worst ennemy.Then I had to wait 3 hours at the ER until they finally took care of me.
And in a nutshell I had that clot because since they had already removed a lot inside my body my bladder was not aliigned correctly with my urethra.
So it is almost impossible now for me to get probed there without cutting or ripping some part inside.
And they had the wonderful idea of trying to put a big probe inside an half shredded urethra into a bladder that they couldn't reach.They tried for about an hour pumping that probe inside my dick.Until my urologist came to the hospital and learned all that happenned the day before and that I was at the ER.
Long story short that nurse had no authority to tell me to go home and badly removed the probed meaning I should have had an emergency surgery right after she took it off, she sould've checked that I was able to pee something else than blood and only my urologist could've told me to go home after of course prescribing me painkillers(and that would've been if the probe was taken off how it should).
So he ran to the ER yelled at the poor nurse that was taking care of me explaininng her all the things that happened to me that she didn't know and they finally used a catheter meaning a long needle near the navel into the bladder.And guys I peed more than 2L they had never seen that much that quick.
I kept it for a week until my inside where capable of being independant and that nurse was fired.
Sorry if there's some letters missing my keyboard doesn't register all of them.

Edit: thank you for the gold but that's too much you shouldn't have ...I just wanted to share a story that now I find funny.But please don't spend money on me.Even though I appreciate the gesture.
Click to expand...
I think I speak for everyone when I say...


Fuck that.
 
T8SC

T8SC

Member
azertydu91 said:
I wasn't talking about the length of the cable but its girth and after all that happenned believe me my dick went inside like a turtle head..I even joked about it being shy when I went to the ER...I was like "Come on don't embarass me in front of everyone you're supposed to be bigger".At least a few nurses laughed and told me it was totally normal.
Click to expand...

Yeah but the shorter the urethra, the less stretching will occur by the probe as it wont have to go as far.

Stretched urethra nush nush imagine that. The mental scarring is all too real. (As is the tiny lacerations that might occur which will let you pee a Bloody Mary in the morning)


In all seriousness though A azertydu91 delighted you got the correct result and have beaten cancer. Amazing.
 
Tschumi

Tschumi

Member
Thinking of making an ot 10 for funny picture thread and all i can think of for a funny title flavour text is "to be confirmed next Wednesday"

angry conan obrien GIF by Team Coco
 
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A

azertydu91

Hard to Kill
T8SC said:
Yeah but the shorter the urethra, the less stretching will occur by the probe as it wont have to go as far.

Stretched urethra nush nush imagine that. The mental scarring is all too real. (As is the tiny lacerations that might occur which will let you pee a Bloody Mary in the morning)


In all seriousness though A azertydu91 delighted you got the correct result and have beaten cancer. Amazing.
Click to expand...
Now imagine all that with a not properly emptied baloon and triying to put it back for 1 hour the day after you just ripped half of the urethra.
Good times.It is among the top 2 most painful events of my life.I can't choose between this and the 5 days testicle torso.

Edit : I just remember that the first time I had surgery for the cancer the used a catheter instead of a probe, so there was a hole above my dick with a tube getting to the bladder.It sounds painful like that but it is not.The funny part is comming though.When they took it off I had a hole above my dick from which I could pee.But when closed I peed a little clots of blood no problem there but I had a bit or air inside my bladder.So ladies and gentlemen for the first and only time in my life I farted with my dick.
 
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OmegaSupreme

OmegaSupreme

advanced basic bitch
Man. Y'all mods put some fire on the ban warnings. Still feeling the sting. Message heard loud and clear lol.
 
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Sidney Prescott

Sidney Prescott

Member
In two days it will have been 20 years since GTA 3 was released. It was mind blowing at the time, I'd never seen that much freedom in a video game before.

 
Maiden Voyage

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
Thaedolus said:
Me: hey boss I'm ready for a promotion and a raise.
Boss: sounds good I was already getting it worked into the budget because you and your team's been killing it, how's next month?
Me:...uhh...next month is good...

\:D/
Click to expand...
Congrats! You better get a bottle of champaign to celebrate or at the very least, do something to reward yourself.
 
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