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[Saiyan-Rox]

So I've always had an issue with spending money on crap I don't need and stuff i just want. But this year it's gotten so much worse.

I'll admit I use buying stuff as a coping mechanism when I'm sad but this year I've been dumped by my GF of over 6 years, was made redundant from my job in September and diagnosed with diabetes in August after a sudden rush to hospital after my bloods were 30 (normal is 7) i started binge drinking also.

I got a redundancy pack of around 9K in September and as of now I've got 3k left and pretty much shit to show for it.


The only upside is I managed to get my mortgage sorted before I lost my job so my mortgage payments are nowhere near my rental payments were but when I moved in the whole bathroom needs renovated which is gonna cost me 2K fs.

Thankfully I got a new job I start in a few weeks but since it's paid monthly I won't get a paycheck until after Xmas so that 3K has to do me till January! And knowing me I'll probably get sacked for being useless.


Now I've never ever missed a bill payment in my life so I'm sort of responsible in that regard but I'm finding it even harder to save money I keep dipping into it and poof it's almost gone

So gaf have you any ideas on how to stop my spending habits? And have you the same issue of coping mechanism that makes you buy tat you don't want?

TLDR - I have a spending problem and can't seem to stop it so what's your ideas to help and do you have the same issue?

 

[EviLore]

Gotta fill the void in your life with something productive and meaningful instead. Take up a hobby or activity, work on getting better at it. Take up fitness goals. Or start a side hustle. Or go back to school part time. You'll have legitimate reason to feel better about yourself and won't need a coping mechanism.

 

[feynoob]

Put your extra money on savings, this way, you can only use the money that you really need.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Get yourself the EveryDollar app and make categories for your spending. Don’t spend outside your category and only allow yourself X amount of dollars every month. You’ll almost have to find something to do after you max out your fun money category.

 

[Trunx81]

Sooooo … giving me gold?

 

[HoodWinked]

You can do the envelope method for budgeting if you struggle with spending.

YouTube can explain it better

 

[Carmen Winstead]

Gotta fill the void in your life with something productive and meaningful instead. Take up a hobby or activity, work on getting better at it. Take up fitness goals. Or start a side hustle. Or go back to school part time. You'll have legitimate reason to feel better about yourself and won't need a coping mechanism.

Best advice you're gonna get.
I had a real bad gambling, drinking and drug problem and once I realised (not long ago) the only responsibility I have is to keep myself happy and healthy things started to get better and it changed my life. Never suppress your feelings and if you got a good friend in your life, just talk to him/them or have the courage and talk to a therapist. Our time is limited and death can come anytime so make use of that time because you don't want to live your last moments in vain. Also take care of the good people around you. At least of those who care about you.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Recognizing your problems is a positive thing.

 

[AJUMP23]

Spending is about behavior. You have to build habits and behaviors that help you save and not desire to spend.

One thing that can change impulse spending is you see something you want and write it down. If you still want or need it 48 hours after writing it down then maybe it is a worthy purchase. But waiting normally cools the desire.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

Just try to remember the value it brings. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy freedom. The more you stack, the less you are compromised in that regard.

 

[Trogdor1123]

I hate to be that guy but you are filling a void with stuff. Even if it isn’t your thing, try going to church. I’m not trying to convert you, but trying to help you find a different approach. Just be sure to not go to one of those ones that wants your money and not you.

 

[Lasha]

Consider being down to 3,000 in cash while surrounded by junk as a wake up call. Impulse control and long term planning are habits built during childhood. You should seek professional help to get your spending and emotions under control if you are an adult.

Start treating savings like a bill. Charge yourself x% of your monthly income. Put the money into stocks or funds which are liquid enough to sell in emergency but too much trouble to use on impulse purchases.

 

[niilokin]

I have a spending problem too but with online courses, software etc... I've bought shit about traditional art, digital art, poly modeling, solid modeling, nurbs modeling, sculpting, 3d printing, animation, game dev, progrraming, vfx... I can't focus on one thing long enough to get good at it before I pick up something new.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

For those of you being big spenders for useless shit, consider a "clean floor policy". That's a term grocery stores use for how cluttered their aisles are. Some stores have shit everywhere,. But the "clean stores" are the ones with tidy and smooth flowing aisles with zero shit in the middle of it and zero danglers hanging from shelves.

Of course this cant help you if you blow you dough on digital stuff that doesnt take up room.

I've always had a minimalist kind of home. Ya, I got pictures hanging and some shelves with trinkets and my media stands have DVD/BRs and old ass CDs from 20 years ago. But as a whole, most of my place is pretty tidy. I just did a trash throw out day earlier this year going through all my rooms to toss out or donate clothes to stores. I literally had one armful of clothes to get rid of (only because I gained 10 lbs during covid and cant fit into some tshirts anymore), a few suits I barely wore and one cardboard box of junk. That's it. My garage has a shelf of tools and gardening crap, lawnmower, trash bins, extension cord, garden hose and empty boxes from when I moved (I'll use them again next time I move). I have so little shit in my garage I can park my car in it whereas most people on my street park on the driveway because some reason their garage is full of endless shit right up to the garage door like it's practically spilling out.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

So gaf have you any ideas on how to stop my spending habits? And have you the same issue of coping mechanism that makes you buy tat you don't want?

Self worth linked to consumption is a bane of existence. Stop lining other people’s pockets.
At least spend it on something that will give returns - start playing an instrument, buy books (used), etc.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Self worth linked to consumption is a bane of existence. Stop lining other people’s pockets.
At least spend it on something that will give returns - start playing an instrument, buy books (used), etc.

Yup.

The old "dont let other people rip you off or get rich" is something my dad drilled into all of our heads as kids. And it's worked for all of us. Even though we all make good money have our own house and buy good stuff here and there because we can afford it, we still got that mentality of:

- Is it good value?
- Is it on sale anywhere? Why buy regular price? Just wait a week or two. Its bound to go on sale somewhere
- Why make companies rich buying dumb shit?
- Pay off your debts, never go on credit card debt, and when you got free money lying around invest it. The only debt worth keeping is mortgages since the rates are low and it's not reasonable for anyone to be able to pay off a home right away

And working in the industry where companies make shit loads of money on stuff that can be made dirt cheap is an eyeopener. It goes something like this:

- Low priced product. Low profits. Sell a lot of it. Quality is hit and miss
- Mid tier product. Good profits. Sell so-so amounts of it. Quality is decent. Unless you're dead broke or its something you dont give a shit about like driveway salt during winter, this is the best tier to buy
- High end product. Huge margins. Dont sell a lot but the margins are so big it keeps the company profits afloat. It technically is the best quality product, but the incremental improvement over the mid tier is laughably small. Sometimes it's just some better colours, packaging and just tons of marketing. People are willing to pay like triple the cost for something that might not even be better (on a technical level) than the mid tier mainstream product. But the consumer thinks it's better and feels more secure because it costs more

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Another way to limit spending is when you need to shop for shit at a store, make a list first of what you need. Stick to it. Bee-line buying that stuff and leave. Dont be one of those hour long browsers in all corners of the store buying random crap.

A store manager's worst nightmare is seeing every customer walk in with a shopping list, buying stuff on paper and leaving asap.

If you need to pick up prescription drugs. Have your doc send it to your drug store and when it's ready, go pick it up and leave right away. Dont drop it off there, wait for half an hour waiting for it. It's their way of making you browse the store buying all their jacked up drug store priced items. Nothing makes them feel better than coming back to the counter for your drug with an arm full of overpriced snacks and razor blades.

Trust me on that. My buddy worked at his parents drug store filling prescriptions. He said all the stuff we drop off to get filled can be filled in minutes. Not half an hour. He even laughed when he told me they do that because they want people to browse the store killing time.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

Yup.

The old "dont let other people rip you off or get rich" is something my dad drilled into all of our heads as kids. And it's worked for all of us. Even though we all make good money have our own house and buy good stuff here and there because we can afford it, we still got that mentality of:

- Is it good value?
- Is it on sale anywhere? Why buy regular price? Just wait a week or two. Its bound to go on sale somewhere
- Why make companies rich buying dumb shit?
- Pay off your debts, never go on credit card debt, and when you got free money lying around invest it. The only debt worth keeping is mortgages since the rates are low and it's not reasonable for anyone to be able to pay off a home right away

And working in the industry where companies make shit loads of money on stuff that can be made dirt cheap is an eyeopener. It goes something like this:

- Low priced product. Low profits. Sell a lot of it. Quality is hit and miss
- Mid tier product. Good profits. Sell so-so amounts of it. Quality is decent. Unless you're dead broke or its something you dont give a shit about like driveway salt during winter, this is the best tier to buy
- High end product. Huge margins. Dont sell a lot but the margins are so big it keeps the company profits afloat. It technically is the best quality product, but the incremental improvement over the mid tier is laughably small. Sometimes it's just some better colours, packaging and just tons of marketing. People are willing to pay like triple the cost for something that might not even be better (on a technical level) than the mid tier mainstream product. But the consumer thinks it's better and feels more secure because it costs more

Nothing else has to be said. Premium brands are great if you want a high quality item that will last you years. Nobody needs 20 sweaters, just have 3 of good quality - less space, less clutter, better for the environment.

 

[GymWolf]

Get a wife, she is gonna spend the money for you.

 

[Winter John]

This might or might not be relevant but I used to know this finance guy who worked for the lottery. Anyways one day we were talking and he says to me, you know why so many of the winners end up broke? It's because they grew up poor. You give someone who is used to a certain level of income a bunch of cash and there's a high chance they'll blow it simply because they're out of their comfort level. I figured since you got this sudden 9k maybes that's what's beneath it all.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

This might or might not be relevant but I used to know this finance guy who worked for the lottery. Anyways one day we were talking and he says to me, you know why so many of the winners end up broke? It's because they grew up poor. You give someone who is used to a certain level of income a bunch of cash and there's a high chance they'll blow it simply because they're out of their comfort level. I figured since you got this sudden 9k maybes that's what's beneath it all.

Raised by a single mum on benefits with missed Xmas' and birthdays yeah but I thought I had the "oh I have money" aspect out of my system when I moved out with my then GF but it's just gotten worse this year but yeah you're (and the other guy) are completely right.

Gotta fill the void in your life with something productive and meaningful instead. Take up a hobby or activity, work on getting better at it. Take up fitness goals. Or start a side hustle. Or go back to school part time. You'll have legitimate reason to feel better about yourself and won't need a coping mechanism.

Indeed there are many many voids in my life right now especially my GF who I miss so much but didn't take care of her at all so deserve it. I lost all my friends because of the partner I had and life got in the way so I don't have anyone close by anymore really. Hobby wise I don't have much interests other than gaming and as for school I can't go back now I've a mortgage to pay.

Put your extra money on savings, this way, you can only use the money that you really need.

Tried it lol I had 1K stashed away in there when I first got the money and it's down to half now from me picking at it like a scab!

You can do the envelope method for budgeting if you struggle with spending.

YouTube can explain it better

Yeah I heard about this but physical money isn't something I've really ever used but I see the method and how I can maybe do it digitally

Best advice you're gonna get.
I had a real bad gambling, drinking and drug problem and once I realised (not long ago) the only responsibility I have is to keep myself happy and healthy things started to get better and it changed my life. Never suppress your feelings and if you got a good friend in your life, just talk to him/them or have the courage and talk to a therapist. Our time is limited and death can come anytime so make use of that time because you don't want to live your last moments in vain. Also take care of the good people around you. At least of those who care about you.

On a waiting list for a therapist and hospital psychiatrist after telling the diabetic doctor I wasn't caring looking after it anymore and he was concerned.

I hate to be that guy but you are filling a void with stuff. Even if it isn’t your thing, try going to church. I’m not trying to convert you, but trying to help you find a different approach. Just be sure to not go to one of those ones that wants your money and not you.

And I've never stopped either lol I would upgrade my phone every few months too. But no chance of a church I'm an atheist all the way through so that's a real no on my part.

 

[TylerD]

A lot of good advice in this thread. Sounds like there are some underlying issues causing the spending and consumption. When those are better under control, I’ll always suggest developing a budget where you account for every dollar.

Im a huge proponent of budgeting and having a mastery over your money. I use You Need a Budget and have for around 7 years now. It’s like trying to min/max with your money.

 

[cormack12]

Can be hard man, especially when people show you cool must have bargains like this

CreepyParty Black Cat Mask Latex Realistic Animal Full Head Masks for Halloween Costume Party Carnival Cosplay : Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

CreepyParty Black Cat Mask Latex Realistic Animal Full Head Masks for Halloween Costume Party Carnival Cosplay : Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

www.amazon.co.uk

 

[Blade2.0]

I'm the opposite. I don't buy anything even when I should.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

I'll tell you something, get depressed because your girlfriend left you... it's sad but you get over it, and if you continue like this... the only one affected will be you and your ex- will continue as if nothing had happened, I'm telling you from experience. .. I have had 4 girlfriends in my life, and I am happy not to go deeper, because I am currently in a very well paid job and if I want, I can take a trip to Europe every 3 months, but what I do, the I invest the money I earn from my job... I am currently very well financially.

And the only concern I have is taking care of myself, I exercise and do activities, I learned that concern for women is the stupidest thing, currently it attracts people more when you don't give importance to them, but to your personal goals.

And that's what I do.

If I were you, I would look for the most suitable job and focus on being better every day.

Do more Exercise, more for your health condition.

You be the first and the only one.

Leave the rest of the people behind.