• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
  • The Politics forum has been nuked. Please do not bring political discussion to the rest of the site, or you will be removed. Thanks.

Analysis Hardware it is the Year 2035 and Sony invited us for the first time to their Secret Facillity in the Swiss Alps

TheTechnician

Member
Dec 23, 2019
336
1,075
400
So here we are just back from our Trip to the Swiss Alps where Sony showed us the Secret how they won those Console Generations in the Past. It was quite exciting to learn how much effort they put into making shure that they end up winning those Console Wars.

So this is the Facillity - it was secret until now. Nobody actually knew it was Sony owned.




We were suprised by who was waiting for us to give us the tour:

It was Mr Kazuo Hirai himself. He grew older over the years but it was clear than and there that he ectually never retired. He was working here all along.





Not the only famous face we were about to see..

So Mr Hirai was showing us the Facillitys Insides and everything made it looke like a Satellite Factory from NASA .. Everything was clean and efficient.
To our Suprise we saw a lot of Robots. Robots getting finished, Robot parts, Robots everywhere..











As we asked Mr Hirai whats the deal with all those robots he said we will find out soon. And then there was it. He showed us the Room with Prototypes from the Years 2013 and 2020. Crucial Years for their Console Launches as he described it to us.<

When we walked throu that door we felt our Blood freezing in our Veins..
We saw Robots Prototypes with the Heads of Don Mattrick and Yusuf Mehdi!






The real Robots, finished and programmed ,were send out 2011 where they should take their places withhin the High Level of MS X Box Division.

,,A big Gamble" Kaz Hirai admits later. ,,The Robots used early versions of our Orbis System Software. So we were afraid that their Decisions Routines would produce to obvious mistakes in terms of Markteting." he continiues ..
,,But to our Suprise all kinds of Nonsense did pass in their Meetings .."

,,imagine our Faces when they anounced things like "No support for used Games" or that the System shuts down after failing to connect to MS Servers within 24 Hours. Or that stupid focus on making a half TV half gaming Box. It was hilarious. At that Moment we where shure that we made the right Decision by sending those Robots out.

One door further Kaz showed us the next Gen Model - They called it Model 2 . It was Phil Spencer!




When we asked about the Madman who had this Idea , MR Hirai pointed to a Corner in that same room and there he was - Mark Cerny!




,,After the new definition of a Marketing Fail Microsoft achieved with those 2 Robots from us it, was clear that the next step must be a more subtle approach. " Mark Cerny started right away.

,,As good as the Mattrick Model funktioned , it was clear that MS would generate alot effort to enhance their strategies. So not only had we to think about their reactions to their failed Gen but also to come up with options that could incorporate their decisions and use them in our favor.

"here comes Model 2 in to Play. We called it here "The Spencer". "He was operating with Orbis 2.0 and had a lighting fast SSD Build in to make fast Decisions in our favor - Kaz Hirai added.
,,So we were pleased when they anounced that they would continiue to support their crappy Xbox One and that even their so called Exclusives would need to run on that old machine with its 32 miBytes of esRam. " Cerny chuckled .

It was clear then that they would only show slightly better Xbox One Games to promote their XboX Series X. While we could focus on polishing our Exclusive Titles to show that next Gen jump in IQ and Game Design. - Cerny ended.

We where send home still confused about we did hear and see that Day. And we wonder now - who else out there is a Robot from Sony?
 
Last edited:

sonyfifa

Member
Apr 21, 2020
119
167
380
So the sony ninja's infiltrating/destroying the opposition are actually sophisticated bots?

Boston_dynamics.gif
 

shubik

Member
Dec 23, 2019
504
1,095
355
So here we are just back from our Trip to the Swiss Alps where Sony showed us the Secret how they won those Console Generations in the Past. It was quite exciting to learn how much effort they put into making shure that they end up winning those Console Wars.

So this is the Facillity - it was secret until now. Nobody actually knew it was Sony owned.




We were suprised by who was waiting for us to give us the tour:

It was Mr Kazuo Hirai himself. He grew older over the years but it was clear than and there that he ectually never retired. He was working here all along.





Not the only famous face we were about to see..

So Mr Hirai was showing us the Facillitys Insides and everything made it looke like a Satellite Factory from NASA .. Everything was clean and efficient.
To our Suprise we saw a lot of Robots. Robots getting finished, Robot parts, Robots everywhere..











As we asked Mr Hirai whats the deal with all those robots he said we will find out soon. And then there was it. He showed us the Room with Prototypes from the Years 2013 and 2020. Crucial Years for their Console Launches as he described it to us.<

When we walked throu that door we felt our Blood freezing in our Veins..
We saw Robots Prototypes with the Heads of Don Mattrick and Yusuf Mehdi!






The real Robots, finished and programmed ,were send out 2011 where they should take their places withhin the High Level of MS X Box Division.

,,A big Gamble" Kaz Hirai admits later. ,,The Robots used early versions of our Orbis System Software. So we were afraid that their Decisions Routines would produce to obvious mistakes in terms of Markteting." he continiues ..
,,But to our Suprise all kinds of Nonsense did pass in their Meetings .."

,,imagine our Faces when they anounced things like "No support for used Games" or that the System shuts down after failing to connect to MS Servers within 24 Hours. Or that stupid focus on making a half TV half gaming Box. It was hilarious. At that Moment we where shure that we made the right Decision by sending those Robots out.

One door further Kaz showed us the next Gen Model - They called it Model 2 . It was Phil Spencer!




When we asked about the Madman who had this Idea , MR Hirai pointed to a Corner in that same room and there he was - Mark Cerny!




,,After the new definition of a Marketing Fail which we achieved with those 2 Robots it was clear that the next step must be a more subtle approach. " Mark Cerny started right away.

,,As good as the Mattrick Model funktioned , it was clear that MS would generate alot effort to enhance their strategies. So not only had we to think about their reactions to their failed Gen but also to come up with options who could incorporate their decisions and use them in our favor.

"here comes Model 2 in to Play. We called it here "The Spencer". "He was operating with Orbis 2.0 and had a lighting fast SSD Build in to make fast Decisions in our favor - Kaz Hirai added.
,,So we were pleased when they anounced that they would continiue to support their crappy Xbox One and that even their so called Exclusives would need to run on that old machine with its 32 miBytes of esRam. " Cerny chuckled .

It was clear then that they would only show slightly better Xbox One Games to promote their XboX Series X. While we could concentrate of polishing our Exclusive Titles to show that next Gen jump in IQ and Game Design. - Cerny ended.

We where send home still confused about we did hear and see that Day. And we wonder now - who else out there is a Robot from Sony?

How much time did this take you? Be honest :D
 

EverydayBeast

Banned
Aug 18, 2017
11,401
8,437
945
Mount Olympus
www.neogaf.com
So here we are just back from our Trip to the Swiss Alps where Sony showed us the Secret how they won those Console Generations in the Past. It was quite exciting to learn how much effort they put into making shure that they end up winning those Console Wars.

So this is the Facillity - it was secret until now. Nobody actually knew it was Sony owned.




We were suprised by who was waiting for us to give us the tour:

It was Mr Kazuo Hirai himself. He grew older over the years but it was clear than and there that he ectually never retired. He was working here all along.





Not the only famous face we were about to see..

So Mr Hirai was showing us the Facillitys Insides and everything made it looke like a Satellite Factory from NASA .. Everything was clean and efficient.
To our Suprise we saw a lot of Robots. Robots getting finished, Robot parts, Robots everywhere..











As we asked Mr Hirai whats the deal with all those robots he said we will find out soon. And then there was it. He showed us the Room with Prototypes from the Years 2013 and 2020. Crucial Years for their Console Launches as he described it to us.<

When we walked throu that door we felt our Blood freezing in our Veins..
We saw Robots Prototypes with the Heads of Don Mattrick and Yusuf Mehdi!






The real Robots, finished and programmed ,were send out 2011 where they should take their places withhin the High Level of MS X Box Division.

,,A big Gamble" Kaz Hirai admits later. ,,The Robots used early versions of our Orbis System Software. So we were afraid that their Decisions Routines would produce to obvious mistakes in terms of Markteting." he continiues ..
,,But to our Suprise all kinds of Nonsense did pass in their Meetings .."

,,imagine our Faces when they anounced things like "No support for used Games" or that the System shuts down after failing to connect to MS Servers within 24 Hours. Or that stupid focus on making a half TV half gaming Box. It was hilarious. At that Moment we where shure that we made the right Decision by sending those Robots out.

One door further Kaz showed us the next Gen Model - They called it Model 2 . It was Phil Spencer!




When we asked about the Madman who had this Idea , MR Hirai pointed to a Corner in that same room and there he was - Mark Cerny!




,,After the new definition of a Marketing Fail which we achieved with those 2 Robots it was clear that the next step must be a more subtle approach. " Mark Cerny started right away.

,,As good as the Mattrick Model funktioned , it was clear that MS would generate alot effort to enhance their strategies. So not only had we to think about their reactions to their failed Gen but also to come up with options who could incorporate their decisions and use them in our favor.

"here comes Model 2 in to Play. We called it here "The Spencer". "He was operating with Orbis 2.0 and had a lighting fast SSD Build in to make fast Decisions in our favor - Kaz Hirai added.
,,So we were pleased when they anounced that they would continiue to support their crappy Xbox One and that even their so called Exclusives would need to run on that old machine with its 32 miBytes of esRam. " Cerny chuckled .

It was clear then that they would only show slightly better Xbox One Games to promote their XboX Series X. While we could concentrate of polishing our Exclusive Titles to show that next Gen jump in IQ and Game Design. - Cerny ended.

We where send home still confused about we did hear and see that Day. And we wonder now - who else out there is a Robot from Sony?
 

Freeman

Banned
Aug 23, 2013
6,273
2,003
840
If you are not infiltrating and trying to destroy your competitor from within you are not even trying.
 

A.Romero

Member
Feb 23, 2009
3,668
2,449
1,250
Mexico
www.lavejota.com
Made me laugh.

I agree that the true mind behind it all must be Ken Kutaragi who probably transferred his consciousness to Sony's network and, eventually, the whole Internet.
 

TheTechnician

Member
Dec 23, 2019
336
1,075
400
yeah i agree - that news team could have been fooled. Maybe Kaz and Cerny are Robots themselfs , build and designed by Ken Kutaragi. :D
 
  • Like
Reactions: A.Romero