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[The Black Gelding]

Okay, I have a serious problem. Durring soccer I am always getting hit in the genitals. I think things came to a head today when I got nailed right in the tip of my dick. I was on the ground, trying my damndest not to scream, but god, it hurt so bad. I felt like somone ripped the head clean off. It felt like I was dieing. It was the worst feeling ever. Like burning. It was as if somone took my dick, turned it inside out, and took sandpaper to it.

That was the worst instance. It still hurts as we speak.

This leads me to my question... is there anything that I can use to like tape it down or something so it stays out of the way? It's not like I have a boner on the field, it just dangles all around, and it's very exposed to harm. I don't wanna start wearing briefs on the field, and I don't wanna wear a cup. So is there anything I can use to tape it to the side of my leg or something?

Also, I think I may have a hernea. My groin is very very sensative to any sort of strain. To make things worse, my balls are under constant bombardment. It sucks, sometimes it hurts to walk, even when my testies are free from harm.

 

[DMczaf]

...

 

[Kon Tiki]

 

[bjork]

"playing soccer"

"I don't want to wear a cup"

Remove one of these statements from the equation.

 

[Saint Cornelius]

'testies'

anyways, I had a hernia. It was like having this wierd third ball! also, it hurt really bad whenever I would get a full bladder.

 

[teiresias]

I know it hurts right now and it seems like all bad news, but think of it this way, it's awfully good news to the rest of us that you may not be able to reproduce anymore.

 

[Dan]

Umm, your question doesn't even make sense. Where the hell would you tape your dick that wouldn't be an obstruction or get in the way of movement? Wouldn't be remotely comfortable anyway.

As said above, either quit playing soccer or become a man and wear a cup.

 

[Saint Cornelius]

I think what Kenny is trying to get at is that he has a huge black cock, people

 

[yoshifumi]

I know it hurts right now and it seems like all bad news, but think of it this way, it's awfully good news to the rest of us that you may not be able to reproduce anymore.

:lol:lol

 

[Mama Smurf]

Ermm, are you sure you're playing it right? I watch a lot of football, and play quite a bit myself, and it happens, but only every so often.

Maybe you've misunderstood the term tackle...

 

[Mike Works]

[DUCTAPE]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Tim]

I know it hurts right now and it seems like all bad news, but think of it this way, it's awfully good news to the rest of us that you may not be able to reproduce anymore.

You sir, made my day. Thank you.

 

[Ecrofirt]

just get a jock strap.

It's not a cup, but it hold you in place.

 

[clipunderground]

I don't wanna wear a cup. QUOTE]

The tip of your dick getting kicked off or wearing a cup...... choices choices... :\

 

[fennec fox]

You don't want to wear a cup but you don't mind taping your dick to your leg before every game? Wahahah!

Actually, it sounds like this guy has a similar problem.

 

[Ronabo]

ROTFL@COCKTAPE!!

:lol :lol :lol

 

[BlackMage]

I thought it was REQUIRED to wear a cup if you are in a league or playing for your school. I know it was when i played baseball.

 

[Brannon]

You want to play a sport where the most powerful appendages of the human body routinely and forcefully move in a way that could threaten the most sensitive part of your body, and you don't want to wear a cup? That's Not Cool Dude.

This can affect your sexual performance later in life in your late 20's you know. Especially if you're feeling constant groinal pain now and if the spongy material has been damaged in any way, which it sounds like it has.

You will be seeing a doctor soon of course.

I think that'd be best.

 

[Fifty]

This is the best thread ever.

 

[impirius]

I know it hurts right now and it seems like all bad news, but think of it this way, it's awfully good news to the rest of us that you may not be able to reproduce anymore.

Hahahahaha.... bonus points for pertinent avatar

 

[Rorschach]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

:lol

 

[speedpop]

Cocktape may be funny, but the issue of a hernia is a big problem. If I were you I would be going to see a doctor right now if you feel the least slight of a lump feeling out near your groin, either above your penis or below - it does not matter as long as nothing abnormal is there then you could be fine till something shows up, but still go see a doctor. Worse case scenario, the hernia will strangulate one of your testicles and may never be repaired.

About the whole soccer penis hitting thing, wear a groin box/cup, downside is that if you wear boxers you'll have to go back to normal underwear for this. And of course the fact that running with a box around your groin is uncomfortable as shit. If that doesn't work out, can always consult a doctor about some way to "tape" your penis down to your body... all the silly people making jokes on here obviously aren't aware that people do actually do this - heck I am sure even some of your favourite sports stars do it.

 

[Mama Smurf]

No one I know wears a cup while playing football (soccer). No one. Just doesn't happen.

 

[Alex Anderson]

Miguel thinks it might be cancer.

On a side note, this reminds me of the team issue cup that I wore in little league. Who knows how many balls in the dirt that shielded from balls in the dirt over the years. Needless to say, I got my own for the next game.

 

[Nerevar]

About the whole soccer penis hitting thing, wear a groin box/cup, downside is that if you wear boxers you'll have to go back to normal underwear for this. And of course the fact that running with a box around your groin is uncomfortable as shit.

It took me less than 1 year to get used to wearing a cup. Seriously. You're just being stubborn if you think it "slows you down" or some other retarded excuse. If you don't start wearing one, you'll never get used to it, and one day you really will damage your nuts.

 

[MrPing1000]

wear lycra shorts under your normal shorts. It helps I believe although I've never bothered although when i do play football i am teh goalieeeeee

 

[Error Macro]

Did you get a hernia when you tried to pick up your ego?

 

[dem]

Maybe I'm extremely small.. but I cant imagine this happening to me while im flacid
=|

Direct hit to the testicles hurts.. but the penis? eh..

 

[Claus]

Duct tape. Trannies use it to hide their bulges.

 

[CajoleJuice]

Yea I never wore a cup while playing soccer. It wasn't necessary. You can take a soccer ball to the nuts. It's happened to me. It hurts...but I don't think any permanent damage occurs.

Now baseball is a completely different story. Especially 3rd base.

 

[Makura]

Ask Dr. GAF!

 

[boutrosinit]

Okay, I have a serious problem. Durring soccer I am always getting hit in the genitals. I think things came to a head today when I got nailed right in the tip of my dick. I was on the ground, trying my damndest not to scream, but god, it hurt so bad. I felt like somone ripped the head clean off. It felt like I was dieing. It was the worst feeling ever. Like burning. It was as if somone took my dick, turned it inside out, and took sandpaper to it.

That was the worst instance. It still hurts as we speak.

This leads me to my question... is there anything that I can use to like tape it down or something so it stays out of the way? It's not like I have a boner on the field, it just dangles all around, and it's very exposed to harm. I don't wanna start wearing briefs on the field, and I don't wanna wear a cup. So is there anything I can use to tape it to the side of my leg or something?

Also, I think I may have a hernea. My groin is very very sensative to any sort of strain. To make things worse, my balls are under constant bombardment. It sucks, sometimes it hurts to walk, even when my testies are free from harm.

1. Wear a fucking cup.

2. At least you didn't snap your 'banjo string'. Believe me when I say you will never see as much blood come out of your penis, than when you snap that fucker. Doesn't hurt much though.

3. You look frighteningly like a Gary Coleman without the midget disease.

 

[fennec fox]

:lol The thread made me laff all over again!

 

[Luscious LeftFoot]

Why'd you bump this thread?

 

[belgurdo]

GRRRRR-BAAHHHHH

 

[AlphaSnake]

I smell the banstick warming up. Damn does it smell good. :rock

 

[DJ Sl4m]

According to Googles image search for cock tape, I'd say yes there is a such thing.

But please don't post any pictures using it, your threads already beg for enough attention. ;P

 

[tralfazz]

 

[Foreign Jackass]

Just rip your cock off, dude. That would be better for everyone.

 

[Fifty]

I smell the banstick warming up. Damn does it smell good. :rock

Surely not for a thread of such quality.