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I think my GF is trying to gaslight me and i'm losing my mind

stn

Member
Jun 15, 2012
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End it and move on. Its not worth being with someone who is toxic and doesn't want to solve problems in a mature and sensible manner. The sooner you end it the sooner you can find a girl who respects you and appreciates you.
 
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RAL1992

Member
Aug 23, 2016
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Seems like you have a good circle of friends around you and the only toxic entity is the gf, it's not down to you to fix a broken person, they should be built up by the effort and love you put in.

Honestly, bail out and find someone level headed and deserving of your time, otherwise you'll be in the same situation 5 years on wondering where the fuck you went wrong.

All the best.
 

Dr.Morris79

Member
Nov 19, 2018
2,885
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It definitely was amazing. We were canoeing for 8 days in the south of Hällefors, camping in the wild, collecting mushrooms, fishing, cooking together, campfires. Can't even describe how beautiful the nature was. And not a single soul aside from us anywhere to be seen. As requested below i'll use the thread and gladly post some pictures once the breakup is over.
Sounds like the perfect trip to me! Cant wait to see the pics man.
 

Men_in_Boxes

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May 31, 2020
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Ra\/en

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Nov 24, 2006
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I was in a relationship just like that for 2.5 years (back when I was 20 years old). I am very certain that I made my own mistakes in the relationship, but we were both quite dysfunctional. My ex did many of the same things your girlfriend did in the story. - complained about this and that, upset about behaviour of friends, avoiding contact when upset etc. Definitely borderline traits.
I read a book a while back called "stop walking on eggshells" that opened my eyes to these kinds of behaviours. They are totally NOT normal and a sign of some maladaptive personality coping strategies.

I ended up breaking up with her at the end of exams one year and it was the best decision I ever made. Met my current wife 3 months later and we have been happily. married for 13 years... The new relationship was night and day . We both communicated constructively and with the intention to grow as people.
 
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OrtizTwelve

Member
Aug 11, 2020
783
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Honestly i'm sitting here at work, completely distraught and i can't concentrate on anything for shit. Some outside perspective would be highly appreciated. i apologize in advance for the length, i guess writing all of this will also help me to sort out my thoughts.

Some Background info. My GF is 25 and i'm 28, together for 3,5 years. She suffers from depression but goes to therapy and takes medication which helped a ton. When we started dating we hit a really rough patch 9 months in. she was failing her uni classes and saw me at fault for everything, she started arguments over nothing and ultimately ended the relationship which she regretted 2 days after and came crawling back. This was before she went to therapy... so i denied getting back together until she decided to seek out help. She did and around half a year later we were back to dating and things had been alright since then. That was until last week where everything went to shit.

We started planning a trip to Sweden (8 days of canoeing) with a group of friends earlier this year. All about who would be coming along, where exactly we would go and how long we were travelling was well known to everyone as we discussed everything extensively in a whatsapp group she was also a part of, although she didn't contribute much (which is ok btw). Me and a friend did most of the planning but kept everyone up to date. Her interaction was limited to the absolute minimum, aside from bitching to me in private when she was unsure of a descision. It all came to a head the first time a week before our trip when she told me in private how much she hates the entire planning process and how she could have gone on an all inclusive beach vacation with the money it costs her to do this trip (keep in mind that she was the first one i told about the trip, and she was more than happy to come along. Moreso she told me how mad she would have been if she wasn't invited along). I apoogized to her about the -in her eyes- messed up planning process and how long it took...even though i wasn't sorry about it in the slightest to be honest. It all worked out well and please keep in mind i did all of this next to my full time job, i can't bend reality to plan everything in 2 days as i was trying to make it work for everyone included. In regards to money i can see where she's coming from but to be honest it doesn't really fly with me. She still lives at home, so no rent, i paid for most of the food/drinks whenever we went out (occasionally she paid), and she was working two well paying jobs next to her very few remaining uni classes so she saved up a lot.

So about the group... In total we were 8 people (her and i included) and she knew every single person who was coming along. I was trying my absolute best to include her in the friend group for the entirety orf our 3,5 yr long relationship but this didn't really work out. She's not really a peoples person and talking to humans has always been difficult for her. I didn't pressure her to do anything, let me be clear about that. However whenever plans were made i tried to include her, if she refused to go, no big deal. I always tried to balance my friend circle and the relationship to the best of my abilities.

About the trip... The first 2 days were great but that quickly changed. Seemingly from one day to the other she started signaling to me that she wants to be left alone... i can't really explain it but i was met with snarky side comments, passive aggressive answers and crying for no reason. I was trying to get through to her when it got worse but she completely shut down ("babe pls tell me what's wrong" - "nothing, now go away"). When i finally managed she started to cry and told me she feels left out by the group, we're all egotistical, talking only about trash/non intellectual shit, and she hates every single second of this trip. So let me adress every point one by one...

She feels left out
I also talked about this with my best mate, both him and i were shocked. I knew everyone was extremely polite to her but my friend told me all of the others had the same feeling: That she wants to be left alone, she was signaling it to everyone! i thought i was at fault for not trying to include her more but he made me see it the way it is. she pushed herself out of the group by acting cold, distant and passive aggressive and yet everyone was still nice to her.

We're egotstical
I honestly don't even fucking know where to start. That's the biggest bs i've ever heard. First of all she was the only vegetarian in the group and yet every. single. meal. we cooked on a day to day basis was vegetarian. She also mentioned she felt left out of day to day activities (fishing, collecting mushrooms etc). Now listen to me, whenever someone announced they would go out in the woods they announced it loud and clear, same with everything else. People joined or didn't join whatever they felt like, i was also left out of fishing once...so what? She never opened her mouth to say she wants to come along and i refuse to be her mom and beg for her to join. She's an adult after all and she has the capability to speak. Every person included is extremely nice, open and wecoming in general. The funniest thing is that one of my mates met my other friends for the very first time and he managed to make some new good friends out of this, it's definitely not the group.

She hates every second
As i stated in the beginning. Everyone was aware of what the trip would be like and who is included. She fucking knew what she was getting herself into and yet she still complained

We only talk about stupid shit
First of all get out of here. All of us (aside from her) work full time jobs and have to be professional on a day to day basis. When i'm on vacation i want to relax and not worry about work or politics so let me talk about trash. It's clear she wants to be more intellectual and her sense of humor just didn't align. This made me realize more than anything that she just doesn't fit with the whole group dynamic. And still we changed subjects when she joined in to not make her feel left out, my friends honestly did a great job of switching between being professional and being stupid xD


It all got worse.. after this she started to either not talk to me for extended periods of time or being extremely passive aggressive. I won't go into all of what happened afterwards but two occasions are still etched into my mind. One morning i was making breakfast for everyone and she was still in the tent, refusing to come out. I miscalculated the amount and one person had to be without scrambled eggs. I took my portion and gave it to her in the tent. A couple of minutes later she crawled out and said "who tf put this food into my tent" with a disgusted look on her face. She smelled it and said "i can't eat this shit". Now look....if you're not hungry i get it but one can be a lot nicer about it. It really hurt me to be honest. i was always trying to comfort her and make the experience better for her.

The second instance was on the last day. One kilometre before our final sleeping point we got into a heavy thunderstorm. My mates gf wasn't feeling safe so we went ashore and sought out shelter until the worst was over. My GF was complaining the whole time about what the fuck we're doing and that we should keep going. I was shocked beyond belief. Being in the middle of a lake with boats made of aluminium while a thunderstorm is roaring is stupid enough as is but as soon as someone feels unsafe it's no longer about what YOU feel is right to do...it's what THEY think is the right thing to do. Talk about egotistical. It only took 20 minutes until we were safe to keep going so what's the big deal.

So yeah and it keeps going. After we returned home I was made aware of some of the shit she told my friends while i was absent collecting firewood or something, and i honest to god just wanted to apologize profousely to my friends. but they all declined saying it wasn't my fault so we good...

The entire way home starting from the hostel, to the airport to our home airport she didn't say a word to me. I tried to initiate contact but she ignored me. I figured that she may need some time for herself or venting to her mother, and i'm going to call her after a day. So last week on tuesday we all got home at 10am. I left her alone for the day and didn't try to contact her. I decided to call her on wednesday at around 6pm, She didn't answer. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to just stop running after her like a dog and let her do the next step which is really hard for me as i have a habit of trying to sort things out as quickly as possible. But she was right...before the trip we had an argument which i tried to talk to her about, she straight up refused, i called her 6 times back then and the only thing i got in return was a text message saying "did someone die or what" we never cleared the air....

So yeah i didn't hear anything back from her for a week now and i was a mess mentally. Until monday i looked like a fucking Zombie, i couldn't sleep and barely eat. I was so incredibly disappointed that she didn't even text me "hey i saw your call but i still need time until we can talk", after 3,5 years she couldn't even do that one simple thing.

However i took the opportunity to take a good hard look at our relationship and if i want to continue. The answer is no. I'm not the right person for her, she needs someone who is all eyes for her (however in my opinion she's not even close to being ready for a committed relationship). For me it's important that my GF at least gets along with my friends, she doesn't. Her personality is incredibly difficult and i honestly can't take it anymore. Even if it's her mental illness that's responsible for this outburst i can't go on like this. In my opinion a person is STILL responsible for their actions or what they say during a depressive episode. there is something extremely flawed in our relationship which is beyond repair and since she went no contact, i was hoping she saw it the same way.

until yesterday night when i got a text from her at 10:30pm saying quote "Do you ever plan on talking to me again or what?" Like what the fuck is this shit. It's disrespectful, cowardly and goddamn childish to send this goddamn awful message to me at night. I don't even know what reality she lives in and if she even realizes what she is doing. I'm not even worth a fucking call. Like seriously is she the only person that exists in her world or is she aware that there are other people around her? I think this is so extremely terrible because she completely victimizes herself and is sure about me being the asshole in this entire situation. Im absolutely sure she expects an apology and is certain we can continue like nothing happened. Like dude I CALLED YOU LAST WEEK and you're coming at me with this trash response. I'm just unable to put into words how i feel right now. Either she really is completely clueless or she absolutely knows what she's doing because she's getting scared of what my next step might be and now tries to manipulate her way back. My descision is set, separation is inevitable, i'm just so extremely drained. I don't even know how to answer her message.


I guess this tuned into a rant and less of a question but i still want to thank anyone who read this

I stopped reading after you mentioned she was in “therapy”, was going through “depression” and also dumped you. And then you took her back. My friend, when a woman dumps you, that’s it. It’s over. You don’t “take her back”. Cut her out of your life. There are much better women out there that aren’t damaged.

The solution here is very simple whether you want to hear it or not. You need to move on with your life and find a better woman that isn’t damaged. This girl is already 25, and she’s not going to get any better from here.
 

GeorgPrime

Bonus Member
Jan 9, 2020
3,402
3,920
550
Honestly i'm sitting here at work, completely distraught and i can't concentrate on anything for shit. Some outside perspective would be highly appreciated. i apologize in advance for the length, i guess writing all of this will also help me to sort out my thoughts.

Some Background info. My GF is 25 and i'm 28, together for 3,5 years. She suffers from depression but goes to therapy and takes medication which helped a ton. When we started dating we hit a really rough patch 9 months in. she was failing her uni classes and saw me at fault for everything, she started arguments over nothing and ultimately ended the relationship which she regretted 2 days after and came crawling back. This was before she went to therapy... so i denied getting back together until she decided to seek out help. She did and around half a year later we were back to dating and things had been alright since then. That was until last week where everything went to shit.

We started planning a trip to Sweden (8 days of canoeing) with a group of friends earlier this year. All about who would be coming along, where exactly we would go and how long we were travelling was well known to everyone as we discussed everything extensively in a whatsapp group she was also a part of, although she didn't contribute much (which is ok btw). Me and a friend did most of the planning but kept everyone up to date. Her interaction was limited to the absolute minimum, aside from bitching to me in private when she was unsure of a descision. It all came to a head the first time a week before our trip when she told me in private how much she hates the entire planning process and how she could have gone on an all inclusive beach vacation with the money it costs her to do this trip (keep in mind that she was the first one i told about the trip, and she was more than happy to come along. Moreso she told me how mad she would have been if she wasn't invited along). I apoogized to her about the -in her eyes- messed up planning process and how long it took...even though i wasn't sorry about it in the slightest to be honest. It all worked out well and please keep in mind i did all of this next to my full time job, i can't bend reality to plan everything in 2 days as i was trying to make it work for everyone included. In regards to money i can see where she's coming from but to be honest it doesn't really fly with me. She still lives at home, so no rent, i paid for most of the food/drinks whenever we went out (occasionally she paid), and she was working two well paying jobs next to her very few remaining uni classes so she saved up a lot.

So about the group... In total we were 8 people (her and i included) and she knew every single person who was coming along. I was trying my absolute best to include her in the friend group for the entirety orf our 3,5 yr long relationship but this didn't really work out. She's not really a peoples person and talking to humans has always been difficult for her. I didn't pressure her to do anything, let me be clear about that. However whenever plans were made i tried to include her, if she refused to go, no big deal. I always tried to balance my friend circle and the relationship to the best of my abilities.

About the trip... The first 2 days were great but that quickly changed. Seemingly from one day to the other she started signaling to me that she wants to be left alone... i can't really explain it but i was met with snarky side comments, passive aggressive answers and crying for no reason. I was trying to get through to her when it got worse but she completely shut down ("babe pls tell me what's wrong" - "nothing, now go away"). When i finally managed she started to cry and told me she feels left out by the group, we're all egotistical, talking only about trash/non intellectual shit, and she hates every single second of this trip. So let me adress every point one by one...

She feels left out
I also talked about this with my best mate, both him and i were shocked. I knew everyone was extremely polite to her but my friend told me all of the others had the same feeling: That she wants to be left alone, she was signaling it to everyone! i thought i was at fault for not trying to include her more but he made me see it the way it is. she pushed herself out of the group by acting cold, distant and passive aggressive and yet everyone was still nice to her.

We're egotstical
I honestly don't even fucking know where to start. That's the biggest bs i've ever heard. First of all she was the only vegetarian in the group and yet every. single. meal. we cooked on a day to day basis was vegetarian. She also mentioned she felt left out of day to day activities (fishing, collecting mushrooms etc). Now listen to me, whenever someone announced they would go out in the woods they announced it loud and clear, same with everything else. People joined or didn't join whatever they felt like, i was also left out of fishing once...so what? She never opened her mouth to say she wants to come along and i refuse to be her mom and beg for her to join. She's an adult after all and she has the capability to speak. Every person included is extremely nice, open and wecoming in general. The funniest thing is that one of my mates met my other friends for the very first time and he managed to make some new good friends out of this, it's definitely not the group.

She hates every second
As i stated in the beginning. Everyone was aware of what the trip would be like and who is included. She fucking knew what she was getting herself into and yet she still complained

We only talk about stupid shit
First of all get out of here. All of us (aside from her) work full time jobs and have to be professional on a day to day basis. When i'm on vacation i want to relax and not worry about work or politics so let me talk about trash. It's clear she wants to be more intellectual and her sense of humor just didn't align. This made me realize more than anything that she just doesn't fit with the whole group dynamic. And still we changed subjects when she joined in to not make her feel left out, my friends honestly did a great job of switching between being professional and being stupid xD


It all got worse.. after this she started to either not talk to me for extended periods of time or being extremely passive aggressive. I won't go into all of what happened afterwards but two occasions are still etched into my mind. One morning i was making breakfast for everyone and she was still in the tent, refusing to come out. I miscalculated the amount and one person had to be without scrambled eggs. I took my portion and gave it to her in the tent. A couple of minutes later she crawled out and said "who tf put this food into my tent" with a disgusted look on her face. She smelled it and said "i can't eat this shit". Now look....if you're not hungry i get it but one can be a lot nicer about it. It really hurt me to be honest. i was always trying to comfort her and make the experience better for her.

The second instance was on the last day. One kilometre before our final sleeping point we got into a heavy thunderstorm. My mates gf wasn't feeling safe so we went ashore and sought out shelter until the worst was over. My GF was complaining the whole time about what the fuck we're doing and that we should keep going. I was shocked beyond belief. Being in the middle of a lake with boats made of aluminium while a thunderstorm is roaring is stupid enough as is but as soon as someone feels unsafe it's no longer about what YOU feel is right to do...it's what THEY think is the right thing to do. Talk about egotistical. It only took 20 minutes until we were safe to keep going so what's the big deal.

So yeah and it keeps going. After we returned home I was made aware of some of the shit she told my friends while i was absent collecting firewood or something, and i honest to god just wanted to apologize profousely to my friends. but they all declined saying it wasn't my fault so we good...

The entire way home starting from the hostel, to the airport to our home airport she didn't say a word to me. I tried to initiate contact but she ignored me. I figured that she may need some time for herself or venting to her mother, and i'm going to call her after a day. So last week on tuesday we all got home at 10am. I left her alone for the day and didn't try to contact her. I decided to call her on wednesday at around 6pm, She didn't answer. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to just stop running after her like a dog and let her do the next step which is really hard for me as i have a habit of trying to sort things out as quickly as possible. But she was right...before the trip we had an argument which i tried to talk to her about, she straight up refused, i called her 6 times back then and the only thing i got in return was a text message saying "did someone die or what" we never cleared the air....

So yeah i didn't hear anything back from her for a week now and i was a mess mentally. Until monday i looked like a fucking Zombie, i couldn't sleep and barely eat. I was so incredibly disappointed that she didn't even text me "hey i saw your call but i still need time until we can talk", after 3,5 years she couldn't even do that one simple thing.

However i took the opportunity to take a good hard look at our relationship and if i want to continue. The answer is no. I'm not the right person for her, she needs someone who is all eyes for her (however in my opinion she's not even close to being ready for a committed relationship). For me it's important that my GF at least gets along with my friends, she doesn't. Her personality is incredibly difficult and i honestly can't take it anymore. Even if it's her mental illness that's responsible for this outburst i can't go on like this. In my opinion a person is STILL responsible for their actions or what they say during a depressive episode. there is something extremely flawed in our relationship which is beyond repair and since she went no contact, i was hoping she saw it the same way.

until yesterday night when i got a text from her at 10:30pm saying quote "Do you ever plan on talking to me again or what?" Like what the fuck is this shit. It's disrespectful, cowardly and goddamn childish to send this goddamn awful message to me at night. I don't even know what reality she lives in and if she even realizes what she is doing. I'm not even worth a fucking call. Like seriously is she the only person that exists in her world or is she aware that there are other people around her? I think this is so extremely terrible because she completely victimizes herself and is sure about me being the asshole in this entire situation. Im absolutely sure she expects an apology and is certain we can continue like nothing happened. Like dude I CALLED YOU LAST WEEK and you're coming at me with this trash response. I'm just unable to put into words how i feel right now. Either she really is completely clueless or she absolutely knows what she's doing because she's getting scared of what my next step might be and now tries to manipulate her way back. My descision is set, separation is inevitable, i'm just so extremely drained. I don't even know how to answer her message.


I guess this tuned into a rant and less of a question but i still want to thank anyone who read this
Sounds like Borderline Syndrome. Just drop her and save your energy
 
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GymWolf

Member
Jun 11, 2019
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Boy i hope she is better than sasha foxx under the sheets because that sound like A LOT of shit to deal with.

Happy that you already know what to do, if this was era, the guy would probably ask advices for some books about how to be a better boyfriend.
 
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haxan7

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May 9, 2016
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You said “she ended the relationship”. This is the point where you stop caring about her as an individual, or worrying about her in any sense. She no longer holds any power over you, because she’s a non-entity. It’s over. If she wants to keep having sex with you, you can allow her to if you choose. But from this point on, her thoughts and feelings matter no more than the gravel that dogs shit on in a dog park, or the tarmac in a parking lot. She’s basically the same as a parking lot now.
 
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StylishMGTOW

Member
Jun 9, 2020
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I would've nope'd the fuck out the second she showed signs of entitlement and solipsistic behaviour. My overall health is more important than trying to maintain a relationship with a person who's as insufferable as OP's girlfriend.

I approve of your decision to leave. It's toxic and you should think about yourself for a change.
 
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Pallas

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May 9, 2018
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I had a friend with a similar issue, turns out the girl was cheating/interested in someone else, not saying this is the same but honestly if you aren’t happy then stop putting yourself through this.
 
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Cattlyst

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Jan 18, 2019
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Read the whole thing and it sounds like a nightmare situation. Obviously we only have one side of the story but it really does sound like you'd be better off out of this relationship OP. Relationships, be they platonic or romantic, are two way streets - here it seems that you are bending over backwards to cater for your partner, and she is throwing it back in your face. That's not how these things are supposed to work. If you get no joy from the situation, time to move on. As one random dude on the internet to another, I wish you well.
 

Orpheum

Member
Sep 7, 2015
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Well my wife left me this morning, been together 20years

So I win, but really I lose....everything

shit man. i'm really sorry


We will meet on saturday. Her messaging style has changed drastically when she realized i was getting serious. She's pretty much begging me to not write off the relationship, "i still mean so much to her still, and since we've never fought before maybe it was just about time we still have our first real fight"

This woman left me speechless more than 3 times in the last 24 hours and i don't mean that in a good way
 

Bernd Lauert

Member
Apr 15, 2018
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shit man. i'm really sorry



We will meet on saturday. Her messaging style has changed drastically when she realized i was getting serious. She's pretty much begging me to not write off the relationship, "i still mean so much to her still, and since we've never fought before maybe it was just about time we still have our first real fight"

This woman left me speechless more than 3 times in the last 24 hours and i don't mean that in a good way
Man, if she ropes you back in...
 

Banjo64

Member
Dec 8, 2020
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Make your decision mate, and if you leave her, as I would, do not let her manipulate you to taking her back. Don’t engage in conversation beyond logistical arrangements etc for giving/taking stuff back, conversation is the gateway to attempted reconciliation. Leaving her is your choice, not a joint decision, so it needs no conversation.

I’ve been in a loving committed relationship for 5 years now and if my partner had said ‘what the fuck is this shit’ when I’d made her food… we’ll I don’t even know, she’d never be that heartless or I wouldn’t be with her.

You sound very level headed and chilled mate, you don’t need this in your life.
 
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Blitzmangoman

Member
Mar 26, 2020
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Should have left when she left the first time. But congratz on the freedom. Live life for yourself for once, atleast for a little while. You deserve it.

Also sorry INC INC you will get over this my man.
 

AV

We ain't outta here in ten minutes, we won't need no rocket to fly through space
May 31, 2018
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Group of friends plan trip to Sweden, whiny crazy girlfriend basically invites herself along, it all goes wrong

That's the plot of Midsommar, OP. Glad you didn't end up like the rest of the cast.

On a real though, she needs help, not a boyfriend, get outta there.
 

chixdiggit

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Dec 21, 2008
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We will meet on saturday. Her messaging style has changed drastically when she realized i was getting serious. She's pretty much begging me to not write off the relationship, "i still mean so much to her still, and since we've never fought before maybe it was just about time we still have our first real fight"
It's a trap. It's like going to the grocery store when hungry. You will make unwise decisions. It's better to eat a meal before going.
Make sure you pound one out (or two) before meeting up with her.

jack off please GIF
 
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Nester99

Member
Sep 17, 2016
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When you break up. Set your timer for 15 min. Don’t let it drag out for 2 -5 hours of crying and negotiating.

go in with a clear purpose. Be quick and direct. Then get the fuck out.

She knows it’s coming so will be hotter than normal.

As the other poster said, make sure you jerk off before you meet.
 

MastaKiiLA

Member
Jun 11, 2020
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I'm sure that sounded way better in your head. What it really sounds like is just a wise-ass ramble of a college edgelord.
Dude is in a tight spot out there, he don't need your snark.
Is it too much to be a bro to a fellow gaffer?
Maybe YOU should find the exit ASAP.
I'm over fucking 40. Been around the block and back, and found the one I'll marry. When you've seen enough warning signs in your life, you know that the end result will end up being, People break up all the time. Sure, you can "be a bro," and talk someone into prolonging their agony. Or, you can just rip the bandaid off quickly, and call this what it is. This relationship will end. They are going to break up. We can start a betting pool, and whether it's today, tomorrow, or some other time in the future, there is a 100% certainty that they will either break up, or live the rest of their lives together wishing that they'd broken up.

The truth is, there are billions of people in the world. What value is there in wasting energy on trying to extract another few months or years of distrust and suspicion out of a relationship that has already reached "consulting complete fucking strangers for advice" levels? Who in their right mind really believes they're going to help the OP salvage this thing into something other than a ticking timebomb?

This isn't college edgelord bullshit, whatever the fuck that is. This is real life. Breakup, and find someone else with the knowledge that you've learned something new from this experience. Hopefully enough to notice these same red flags in the next person you date. Then, when that eventually collapses, you add more knowledge to your personal dating wiki, until you either find that special someone, or at least someone who you can tolerate enough to settle down without feeling the need to look outside for advice on handling the relationship. It might take you until you're 40. You may never find it. No one can say when that person will enter your life, but you keep trying.

If you want to keep taking the jalopy to the mechanic every few weeks, then be my guest. Some people are masochists like that, or just incredibly fucking naive. Personally, I prefer to not suffer in a relationship. It's easier to be single and look for someone new, than wake up every day next to someone you're not sure you really want to be with. I like myself more than that.
 
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Reckheim

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Feb 24, 2015
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move on, and be glad you didn't waste more of your time with her. She sounds like a nightmare to be around.
 

Banjo64

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Dec 8, 2020
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She knows it’s coming so will be hotter than normal.

Fucking truth man.

My father in law told me last weekend that his ex missus (GF’s mum) never swallowed until he left her.

Once he left her, she rocked up at his hotel, so he shagged her all night, after which she sucked him off and swallowed in the morning - he hadn’t had a wash following all the sex and she knew it.
 
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Zelphyr

Member
Dec 7, 2020
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Read the whole story. She seems very unpleasant with no redeeming qualities. She needs to deal with her own issues before even thinking of being in a relationship.

Don't be a hero, don't be a savior, just get out.

You sound like a nice guy, you're still young and you don't deserve this.

Turn the page and start fresh!
 

chixdiggit

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Dec 21, 2008
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Fucking truth man.

My father in law told me last weekend that his ex missus (GF’s mum) never swallowed until he left her.

Once he left her, she rocked up at his hotel, so he shagged her all night, after which she sucked him off and swallowed in the morning - he hadn’t had a wash fallowing all the sex and she knew it.
Damn you and your father in law have quite the conversations.
 

ymoc

Member
Feb 27, 2012
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Slovenia
I'm over fucking 40. Been around the block and back, and found the one I'll marry. When you've seen enough warning signs in your life, you know that the end result will end up being, People break up all the time. Sure, you can "be a bro," and talk someone into prolonging their agony. Or, you can just rip the bandaid off quickly, and call this what it is. This relationship will end. They are going to break up. We can start a betting pool, and whether it's today, tomorrow, or some other time in the future, there is a 100% certainty that they will either break up, or live the rest of their lives together wishing that they'd broken up.

The truth is, there are billions of people in the world. What value is there in wasting energy on trying to extract another few months or years of distrust and suspicion out of a relationship that has already reached "consulting complete fucking strangers for advice" levels? Who in their right mind really believes they're going to help the OP salvage this thing into something other than a ticking timebomb?

This isn't college edgelord bullshit, whatever the fuck that is. This is real life. Breakup, and find someone else with the knowledge that you've learned something new from this experience. Hopefully enough to notice these same red flags in the next person you date. Then, when that eventually collapses, you add more knowledge to your personal dating wiki, until you either find that special someone, or at least someone who you can tolerate enough to settle down without feeling the need to look outside for advice on handling the relationship. It might take you until you're 40. You may never find it. No one can say when that person will enter your life, but you keep trying.

If you want to keep taking the jalopy to the mechanic every few weeks, then be my guest. Some people are masochists like that, or just incredibly fucking naive. Personally, I prefer to not suffer in a relationship. It's easier to be single and look for someone new, than wake up every day next to someone you're not sure you really want to be with. I like myself more than that.
I think you really lack reading comprehension or you haven't read anything that has been posted in this thread. Who is saying that the OP should salvage this?
I called you out on your pointless snark.
That's all.
 

hangdang69

Member
Dec 5, 2016
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Man I only had to read half of your post before scrolling down here to tell you to get OUT. I dated someone similar and these problems more often than not get worse with age, not better. It's difficult to leave, but find someone who doesn't make every single little thing in life a crisis or something you need to apologize for.

She's a willing victim in life, a constant victim of circumstance, and NEVER through any fault of her own. Run away and don't look back