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[GeekyDad]

I ask because I feel like that's kinda what's happened to me. I was out on medical leave for almost a year due to brain cancer. Went back in late June. It took me a good month and half to get my feet firmly planted back, with many doubts along the way I could sustain it, since my work is both physically and mentally exhausting. It didn't take long, though, for my direct subordinate and other department heads to clash with me.

Now, yes, it's possible I'm paranoid, or even doing things I'm not aware of, but I don't think that's it. My cancer has caused focal aware onset seizures, not any mental illness that my wife, friends, family or four of the various doctors I see regularly have brought to my attention. But I'm a very direct, no-nonsense team leader, and I call out shit (politely and professionally -- but directly and without bullshit) when I see it. I don't let that shit slide or fester.

Thing is, I don't think anyone ever expected me to come back. The tumor was so big, they thought I was gone, and gone for good. My subordinate, I suspect, expected to take my place, my pay rate, etc., and I feel her, but it just hasn't turned out that way (yet, anyway). And the other team leaders, well, they remember the kind of person I am, and the new ones were perhaps taken unaware, and it could have been a rude awaking for them.

So...lots of whining, crying, and complaining to supervisors has taken place, and even very good work friends have seemingly begun to question my integrity. Sales are way up, hours used are down, and our percentages are making the top bosses giddy, so they've left me the hell alone, and have even become accommodating to me.

tldr: Have you ever personally experienced being (or an attempt to be) cancelled at work?

 

[GymWolf]

I'm the boss, so no.

And in italy wokenism in not as strong as other countries, although i'm starting to see bad signs over here...

 

[YCoCg]

That doesn't sound like being "cancelled", that's just your replacement being salty because they thought they'd be a cert.

 

[The Cockatrice]

No such thing in eastern europe, yet.

 

[Werewolf Jones]

I work with normal working class British people. We got people in here who robbed people and nearly beat someone to death with a hammer. So to answer the question: No, I work with people who don't rely on the Matrix to survive.

 

[AV]

Fuck 'em, it's work and you're doing it well.

 

[Ailynn]

GeekyDad - First of all, I want to say I'm sorry you went through that- ALL of it. I hope and pray the new year brings you much brighter days.


- - -

I guess you could say I dealt with a form of getting "canceled" in a way, although maybe in the opposite manner from the way people think of these days. I was let go from my job in Human Resources because I started male-to-female gender transition.

The owners are really old and almost famously against anyone that could be placed under the LGBT umbrella. Three different lesbian workers were let go for strange reasons once they were individually outed. Even one of the heads of HR was secretly married to another man but had to act straight around the higher-ups because he was terrified of getting fired.

Tennessee isn't exactly the easiest state to deal with these issues in, but it has improved a lot over the past few years.

 

[poppabk]

Unless the 'whining' is about you sexually harassing people or discriminating against minorities or something it just sounds like you are the slave driver boss who the bosses love and the employees hate.

 

[JCK75]

About 10 years back some dude started an argument with me on Facebook, he lost badly and ended the argument with "I wonder how the school system would feel about you arguing on facebook during working hours"..
about a week later the boss says Central office got a call about tech employees arguing on facebook over politics and I stepped up and said it was me and provided him with transcipts most importantly because this took place in July in which at the time was outside of our usual work schedule and I was off work when this happened.

He tried but failed, but good lord people take debates too personally.

 

[95mellow]

Congratulations on beating cancer, OP. Your co-workers sound like psychopaths.

As for me, never cancelled, but my manager and I were discussing Brexit once. Suddenly, an all-staff email was sent from HR to "end all political chat in the office". Fair enough.

The next day, someone had plastered The Brexit Party posters and leaflets all over the staff canteen. I think it was the CEO who put them up. In all likelihood, he disliked my take on things and that was his reaction.

 

[nush]

"Her", she's been shit talking you to anyone that will listen and is probably an agreeable person in order to get ahead that's different to your management style.

You're not cancelled per say but I would make the situation you are in known to the higher ups in your company. At leat that way they'll know there's an agenda when they eventually go to them to complain about you.

 

[Cockles & Whelks]

I've started typing responses to woke bullshit on our corporate intranet. But then deleted them. Funny thing is everyone you speak to agrees, but dare say it for fear of wrong think.

 

[AJUMP23]

Are they questioning your integrity because you had cancer and didn't die? I don't think you are cancelled, I just think the work dynamic changed in your absence. All you have to do is be open about your expectations from your team and encourage them. The dynamics will adjust and you will be integrated back into things.

 

[chromhound]

That's what we call jealousy

 

[IDKFA]

Kind of. This story does involve politics, but it's not about the politics and more about the reaction.

In my previous job I was having a smoke break with a colleague who was telling me about having a real hard time with her manager. They didn't get on, but in her mind it was all his fault and nothing to do with her.

She then told me that she couldn't believe her manager was a Tory (conservative) supporter. I asked her why that shocked her, so she told me that it's because he's mixed race and his mum is black, so she couldn't understand why he was a a member of a "racist, fascist dictatorship" (I should point out that she is an actual communist and a member of the UK communist party)

This pissed me off. I told her that her comments were pretty racist and just because he's mixed race doesn't mean he can't be conservative. She fucking hated me for saying that. She told people that I was a racist Tory supporter and she never spoke to me again. Luckily, her campaign against me failed and people just thought she was unhinged.

 

[Cockles & Whelks]

Kind of. This story does involve politics, but it's not about the politics and more about the reaction.

In my previous job I was having a smoke break with a colleague who was telling me about having a real hard time with her manager. They didn't get on, but in her mind it was all his fault and nothing to do with her.

She then told me that she couldn't believe her manager was a Tory (conservative) supporter. I asked her why that shocked her, so she told me that it's because he's mixed race and his mum is black, so she couldn't understand why he was a a member of a "racist, fascist dictatorship" (I should point out that she is an actual communist and a member of the UK communist party)

This pissed me off. I told her that her comments were pretty racist and just because he's mixed race doesn't mean he can't be conservative. She fucking hated me for saying that. She told people that I was a racist Tory supporter and she never spoke to me again. Luckily, her campaign against me failed and people just thought she was unhinged.

 

[Mossybrew]

This isn't really the definition of "cancelled," the people that work under you just don't like you, full stop.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

So...lots of whining, crying, and complaining to supervisors has taken place, and even very good work friends have seemingly begun to question my integrity. Sales are way up, hours used are down, and our percentages are making the top bosses giddy, so they've left me the hell alone, and have even become accommodating to me.

Most people dont care about the numbers, unless they are top bosses. The lower the rank the less they care.

If everyone is coming at you (even good work friends), there's something you are doing aggravating them. Random workers and good buddies dont suddenly flip a switch and go after you for no reason.

One thing right off the bat that pisses people off is people going on leave. Cancer or something else, it doesnt matter. Because when someone goes on leave (I've seen it a million times from short to long term, to "unknown issue nobody is allowed to ask" to someone who sprained their neck etc....) it means other people have to cover for you in which some people dont like doing it.

I've had my share of being asked to cover for people. And two things happened. One, it was a while before they found a replacement for the sick leave or mat leave person. Two, I ended up doing the job permanently even when they came back because I did it better.

 

[belmarduk]

What's happening isn't being "canceled."
Really happy you were about to beat the cancer, though!

 

[macfoshizzle]

One approach you can do is have a one on one with each stakeholders and talk iron things out. Another may be letting them know that you have their back and will do whatever you can do to help them for whatever opportunity that comes up. Whatever it is, you have to do some damage control, whether taking them out for a nice lunch, drinks, covering them for a shift, whatever that will help them in some ways.

 

[Beer Baelly]

Women cancelled me all my life

Big up beating cancer OP. Stay strong.

 

[evolvaer]

I'm sorry you and your family had to go thru the ordeal of cancer.

Having said that, the way you are describing the situation makes me think you're an ass hole. That isn't the same as being cancelled.

Phrasing thins like people whining and crying, is in itself a dismissive way of describing some one else's grievances. Also, people who generally describe themselves as NO BS call it like i see it, are generally abrasive individuals with little emotional intelligence or people skills. It's couched a weakness as a strength.

I'm tone deaf and can't communicate with people = I call it like I see it and i'm not about any BS or letting thing slide.

Wish you the best of luck, again my sympathies for returning to work after the cancer battle.

 

[Impotaku]

You are not at work to make friends you're there to pay the bills, if they are not the ones paying your wages then fuck em' let them try and cancel you. As long as your bosses know whats up and are ok with you then leave it at that, just keep evidence of their schemes just in case.

 

[Fbh]

Glad to hear you are doing better.

Personally not really.
Closest was when I was working retail while studying and my small branch decided we didn't want to participate in the whole secret santa thing because it was annoying and we were already stressed and overworked during christmas anyway. Everyone in the company hated us for a while and every email management sent out about the whole secret Santa thing was always like "so everyone EXCEPT THIS BRANCH should....."

We ended up putting the money we'd have spent on presents together and did a BBQ after christmas (which also pissed some people off).

 

[BigBooper]

Never had to deal with that thankfully. There was one time when my boss' boss didn't like me, but I was one of the best on the team so nothing came of it other than her awkwardness around me.

 

[Xellos]

Congrats on beating cancer, keep up the good fight!

This sound less like cancelling and more like a shift in workplace culture. A year is a long time to be out. People got used to the person filling your position, your return has changed the balance of power, and now it's 'culture-shock.' Will take a while to rebuild relationships but if you work hard and treat people respectfully (even if you have to call out BS once in a while), then it will happen. And in any case as long as your sales/percentages are good then I doubt your job is in any real jeopardy.

 

[MastAndo]

The conversations around the water cooler at your company must be something else. "Can you believe GeekyDad didn't die? I know, what a dick!"

Personally, I haven't, but admittedly I have spent the last several years at my place of work passing up on social gatherings. Compared to my coworkers I'm a little, shall I say, rough around the edges particularly after a few drinks. Not a bad guy by any means, but these coworkers are nothing like the people I hang out with, so there's always a concern I might say something uncouth and have to deal with the consequences.

I also used to partake in dipping my pen in the company ink, so to speak, partly fueled by drunken hangouts with coworkers. In hindsight, that's all a dangerous game and I'm lucky I made it out relatively unscathed. Those temptations wouldn't present themselves as much now that I'm older and grosser, but still I look back and think about how easily I could have had an upset young lady decide she wanted to make an example of me for hurting her feelings and turned completely mutual exchanges into something one-sided and ended me.

Congrats on beating the cancer, by the way.

 

[Batiman]

Nah. Ive only seen canceling on the internet

 

[Thaedolus]

That's what we call jealousy

This. Someone made a comment to a coworker about me (who I don’t think he knows is also my good friend who referred me to the position) and what I do because he thinks sitting in the office 8-5 is indicative of work ethic or something. Of course, this person is in trouble with upper management for having a bunch of know-nothing, do-nothing consultants on payroll while my team gets shout outs for literally batting 1.000 on all our obligations.

So do I give a shit? Nah. Anyone whose opinion I care about either thinks well of me or would come to me directly if they have a problem, which no one has. I think I’ve had one person over the last decade I just couldn’t find a way to work and succeed with, and that all ended up being her problem once I realized she couldn’t work with any of my peers either.

 

[AlteredForms]

I'm the boss, so no.

Thing is, I don't think anyone ever expected me to come back. The tumor was so big, they thought I was gone, and gone for good. My subordinate, I suspect, expected to take my place, my pay rate, etc., and I feel her, but it just hasn't turned out that way (yet, anyway).

You feel for her? Fuck that bitch and your co-workers. They were basically taking bets about when you were going to go and who got the fancy parking spot.

 

[ikbalCO]

I got fired once. Does that count?

I ask because I feel like that's kinda what's happened to me. I was out on medical leave for almost a year due to brain cancer. Went back in late June. It took me a good month and half to get my feet firmly planted back

tldr: Have you ever personally experienced being (or an attempt to be) cancelled at work?

Holy shit dude. What a year you had. I am really glad you are well now. And hope you keep being a geekydad to your family and loved ones.

You came through a lot of hardship for the last few months so my advice is screw all those pussies at work and just enjoy life.

 

[Bragr]

Can you give an example of the sort of shit you don't tolerate? it's hard to know without knowing how harsh you really are. There is a fine point between being direct and being demeaning.

 

[Winter John]

Shit yes. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count. Being late. Not turning up. Being drunk. Fucking off. Fighting. Stealing. For a while my name was dirt and I was basically unemployable throughout Brooklyn/Manhattan. I'd walk in to a place and the owner would immediately rush round and tell me to get out. I had a period when I was getting wasted and for some reason I decided I wasn't going to wash anymore. At that point I was workin some seafood joint. I smelled worse than the fish. All I remember is the owner couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from. He was convinced the suppliers were fucking him over. He was on the phone screaming at them after every delivery. Then one morning I was out back having a smoke and he comes out. He realises all this time the smell is me and goes nuts. I tell him I don't know why he's so mad. I smell just like his wife. He punches me straight in the nose, busts it wide open. Back on the unemployment again. Deserved I guess.

 

[AlteredForms]

Shit yes. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count. Being late. Not turning up. Being drunk. Fucking off. Fighting. Stealing. For a while my name was dirt and I was basically unemployable throughout Brooklyn/Manhattan. I'd walk in to a place and the owner would immediately rush round and tell me to get out. I had a period when I was getting wasted and for some reason I decided I wasn't going to wash anymore. At that point I was workin some seafood joint. I smelled worse than the fish. All I remember is the owner couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from. He was convinced the suppliers were fucking him over. He was on the phone screaming at them after every delivery. Then one morning I was out back having a smoke and he comes out. He realises all this time the smell is me and goes nuts. I tell him I don't know why he's so mad. I smell just like his wife. He punches me straight in the nose, busts it wide open. Back on the unemployment again. Deserved I guess.

God damn son. What kind of douchebag are you? I don't even wanna know what kind of fucking job you have right now, if any at all...

 

[Winter John]

God damn son. What kind of douchebag are you? I don't even wanna know what kind of fucking job you have right now, if any at all...

I own a bar. A small farm and a side gig importing/trading used tractors

 

[AlteredForms]

I own a bar. A small farm and a side gig importing/trading used tractors

You've come a long way from smelling like ass working at Red Lobster to owning your own restaurant. Gotta respect the hustle .

 

[Winter John]

You've come a long way from smelling like ass working at Red Lobster to owning your own restaurant. Gotta respect the hustle .

Even back when I was at my lowest I still had enough self respect to avoid working the chain joints. I wouldn't have lasted more than a day anyway

 

[DoomGyver]

I was out for a few months because of a major surgery. Before I went on leave I trained one individual to do my job while I was out. When I returned he was bitter and was outspoken about wanting my job. Certain coworkers he was in a clique with tried to run me down. Eventually, after a couple of years - he transferred to another location to have the same job. Weather the storm and it will pass. People are assholes, especially when it comes to money.

 

[nush]

Shit yes. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count. Being late. Not turning up. Being drunk. Fucking off. Fighting. Stealing. For a while my name was dirt and I was basically unemployable throughout Brooklyn/Manhattan. I'd walk in to a place and the owner would immediately rush round and tell me to get out. I had a period when I was getting wasted and for some reason I decided I wasn't going to wash anymore. At that point I was workin some seafood joint. I smelled worse than the fish. All I remember is the owner couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from. He was convinced the suppliers were fucking him over. He was on the phone screaming at them after every delivery. Then one morning I was out back having a smoke and he comes out. He realises all this time the smell is me and goes nuts. I tell him I don't know why he's so mad. I smell just like his wife. He punches me straight in the nose, busts it wide open. Back on the unemployment again. Deserved I guess.

YOLO!

 

[Lady Redfield]

I have a particular way of talking and it doesn't go well with some people. It's nothing that anyone should really flip a tit over, it's just the way I describe things, I use words/phrases that I find unique, and, well, in a kid friendly world, it's hard to live like that. Been in shit a few times, meh, they don't like it, they can eat a dick.

I did get called in the office with the big boss and HR near the beginning of covid. My company didn't care about our well being, so, I said on my FB page they were garbage. I have my privacy settings where you can only see my stuff if I choose to make it public, which is barely anything in my page. A twat on my page, whom I thought was over his ass kissing of all the bosses (egg on my face) took an SS and emailed it to a boss higher than the one in our facility. I got called in to discuss it and told to delete it. I just accepted his friend request because I like to see pictures of his dog and he can be a nice person. Turns out he is still also a snake.

 

[RCU005]

I've been "cancelled" two times on two jobs, but differently.

I got a job in 2014 where I arrived on my first day, and since that day, I was just asked to sit down and do literally nothing. I spent months like that, and every day I went to my boss and colleagues to let them know I'm available to help in something, but I got nothing. Couple months later, I escalated the issue with my boss's boss, but it had no effect. I was there for a year, and did nothing. Worst part was that I wasn't getting another job anywhere else.

Then, even worse, I got out of that job and got another a year after I left, but the exact same thing happened! Once again, I was being left sat down on my desk with any tasks whatsoever. Once again started looking for other jobs, but still had no luck. I started losing every single particle of self-confidence I had on myself. It had to be something about me, because how come in two different jobs, I just get left out and given nothing to work with. Why was I even hired for then? Why was I even hired in the first place, then? I got fired one year later. However, I got "rescued" by a guy from another department, and started having work and everything went great from that moment on for two years.

Sadly, my self-esteem is tanking again because I'm once again without a job, and have been unemployed for more than two years.

 

[Mohonky]

Nope, though I probably should be. I'm not racist or anything though, and I make misogynistic jokes ironically, especially as I work in a female dominated environment.

 

[Quasicat]

Yeah this happened within a year or so after starting at my district. I was an intervention specialist in an ELA classroom and one day the primary teacher told me that it was her personal mission to get me fired. She had been there for ten years at that point and thought she had pull because of it. After a year of this, I walked in and requested a transfer to another grade level and was denied, so I handed my supervisor a letter of resignation. She tore it up and told me my transfer was granted. This teacher continued to get people against me, but I’m pretty oblivious to most things and just went about my business.
I’m now in a different grade level and department as this person and rarely ever see her. There for a while it was pretty tough and I hated going into that place, but people move around a lot in education and anyone that tried to get under my skin is mostly gone.

 

[GeekyDad]

Can you give an example of the sort of shit you don't tolerate? it's hard to know without knowing how harsh you really are. There is a fine point between being direct and being demeaning.

About a month ago I had two girls from other departments helping my department out because we had about 60 extra hours for the week. Later in the morning, one department head asked me if she could have one of the girls. No problem, she's yours. Later on, an assistant manager from another department wanted the other girl, but instead of paging me, she pages the lady I mentioned in the OP. So, I went over to her department and confronted her. Before I even made my way over there, she saw me and I could see her face turn read. I said to her that it was fine that she take the employee but that she needed to call me not [unnamed employee] because I needed to charge those hours to her department. She accused me of being rude. I said, no, I'm not being rude, I'm being direct. She's also the union steward for our location, so maybe she thought I wouldn't make an issue of it.

She tried to send the girl back to my department. I told the girl thank you, told her she did great work, but asked her to go ahead and return to [unnamed employee's] department. I had our AA charge the hours to the other department. Never heard a complaint from my boss or the union.

 

[YCoCg]

Shit yes. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count. Being late. Not turning up. Being drunk. Fucking off. Fighting. Stealing. For a while my name was dirt and I was basically unemployable throughout Brooklyn/Manhattan. I'd walk in to a place and the owner would immediately rush round and tell me to get out. I had a period when I was getting wasted and for some reason I decided I wasn't going to wash anymore. At that point I was workin some seafood joint. I smelled worse than the fish. All I remember is the owner couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from. He was convinced the suppliers were fucking him over. He was on the phone screaming at them after every delivery. Then one morning I was out back having a smoke and he comes out. He realises all this time the smell is me and goes nuts. I tell him I don't know why he's so mad. I smell just like his wife. He punches me straight in the nose, busts it wide open. Back on the unemployment again. Deserved I guess.

That's not being "cancelled", that just sounds like you were a shitty employee. Good to read you're in a better place now though.

 

[Dream-Knife]

Being canceled is being black listed because you said something based. All the examples that I have read in this thread aren't being canceled.

 

[Darko]

yep, they had a whole ass party and didnt tell me about it.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

Compared to my coworkers I'm a little, shall I say, rough around the edges particularly after a few drinks. Not a bad guy by any means, but these coworkers are nothing like the people I hang out with, so there's always a concern I might say something uncouth and have to deal with the consequences.

I also used to partake in dipping my pen in the company ink, so to speak, partly fueled by drunken hangouts with coworkers.

 

[DeafTourette]

Good to hear you're on the mend! Cancer is a huge fear of mine after my paw paw passed from prostate cancer.

I have not been personally cancelled but one of the bosses at my job was sorta .. basically he was yelling and berating the workers ... Pretty much only the women workers (it's like 85% female at my job) and they complained to HR ... It was way more than a couple. I'm usually oblivious as I tend to just focus on what I'm supposed to do. He was let go after that and replaced by a returning boss who had quit almost a year prior.

Not sure if that counts...

 

[DeafTourette]

Being canceled is being black listed because you said something based. All the examples that I have read in this thread aren't being canceled.

Based?